I'm so confused

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This is how they *want* you to see them...

"I'm so confused" or rather "I'm like, soooooooooooooooo confused" is a common attention whoring tactic used by all teenage girls and gays over 9000 times in an internet year. It is used and abused as a lame way to excuse their violently stupid behavior or misunderstanding of the most simple of concepts, such as meaning what you say and saying what you mean. In other words, it is the perfect statement for girls who just have to have it both ways; it's a way to ask a stupid (or painfully obvious) question without the guilt of admitting that they're a fucking retard. Many cases of "confusion" surround pregnancy issues, resulting mostly in teen mothers.

	“	Neither shalt thou lie with any beast to defile thyself therewith: neither shall any woman stand before a beast to lie down thereto: it is confusion.	„
	—Leviticus 18:23

Examples:

"Guys, I'm like so tired and unhealthy. I've been like trying to lose some weight, so I eat about 500 calories a day. What should I do? I'm sooooooo confused!"

"I need $100 more to buy food for my babies, but I spent the last of my money to buy the new Gucci purse! What should I do? I'm SOOOOOO confused!!!"

"My teacher forces me to have sex with him after class, and I can't say no, or go to the police because he said if I do, he says that he will fail me!! WHAT DO I DO??? I'm soooo confused!"

"My BF and I did it w/o a condom and he pulled out but now I'm all fat and I haven't had my period in like eight months! Could I be pregnate?! im soooooooooooo confused!!!"

"I was, like, on the internet, and, like, this thing came up that said I won a laptop, and I clicked it, and I put in my name, address, phone number, PIN number, credit card number, social security number, and, like, my Windows CD key, and like, now, my computer doesn't worrrrk. Where's my laptop??? I'm, like, sooooo confused, guys!!"

"Guys, my only friend is about to leave me because I treat him like shit and only talk to my boyfriend who lives in another country. What should I do? I'm sooooooooo confused!"

"My boyfriend and I started getting serious, and he put his hand up my shirt. Now everyone will think I'm a slut! I'm soooooo confused!"

"Guys guys! i think i have a crush on rick astley is that normal? im not sure im soooooo confused!"

It gets Better . . .

	“	Dear Agony Aunts, This is going to sound so crazy...and I am completely embarassed to ask it but...Well, here it goes. My boyfriend and have been dating for almost a year now and we are very much in love...Also, he and I are highly sexually active. He has been more sexually active with me than any of his past relationships and visa versa...The thing is...I can't believe I'm asking this...He likes me to pee on him!!!!It started out on his feet,then his back and now.......his face.......He never likes to do it to me. Just me to him. I asked him about it but all he said was that anything coming out of me was hot....What does this mean about the way he feels about me? Why does he like me to do this?!?!?!?! I'm so confused! -Confused.	„
	—She claims to be between 22-25 years old. But also an Americunt. Help her here

	“	I'm so confused...?!? I have a best friend & his name is Jahnique. Yeah , I'm a girl & he's a guy , but that doesn't really matter. I know he likes me (he's told me several times & even asked me out, which I declined), but I don't like him like that. I like this guy named Matt but he doesn't know & I'm not sure if he likes me back because he gives me mixed signals. Sometimes he's all over me & then he just ignores me. I buy him cookies at lunch, but he never pays me back. Jahnique gets mad all the time whenever I buy Matt cookies. He says I shouldn't be his "sugar momma" & I think he's right. But Jahnique overreacts & we get in arguements all the time just because of Matt. Then there's Rodrigo. He's cute & sweet & really nice. We don't talk much, but he always says hi to me in the hall. I THINK I like him, but I don't know him that well. I've only hugged him once & IT WAS A REALLY NICE HUG ♥ Then there's my ex. His name is Tyler & we went out 3 years ago. A couple weeks ago, he told me that he still has feelings for me. It was late at night & since I'm a teenager, my hormones were like "OMG." & I told him that I liked him back. I don't think I like him anymore. Then there's Dalton. The first time I met him, he tried to flirt with me & FAILED (4 years ago). Who does that ?! Then one time when my little cousin had a birthday sleepover, I woke up to Dalton staring at me o.o But about 2 months ago, I saw him for the first time in 2 years. And I was like "Hey. He's kinda cute." I'm just so confused. I just need some advice & maybe which guy to go after (: BTW, I'm 13, so yeah.	„
	—Whoring it up in Soap Opera Middle School

	“	I'm so confused????????? i'm 5 7 and 108 pounds but i see my self as fat cuz i look huge but the numbers don't make sense cuz i'm apparently underweight...maybe my bones r light or something idk. in some pics and in the mirror i look skinny but when i look at my self i'm not. other ppl say i'm small and some ppl say i'm big. i compare myself to ppl all the time and i'm bigger than a lot of ppl and ppl who weigh more than me look the same size. i can't tell if its all in my head or what? how do i know if i'm big or not?	„
	—Thus, a pro-ana is born.

	“	Okay so this guy likes me and asked me out. I said sure and that we needed to get to know each other. I don't understand why anyone could like me? Im annoying short and not attractive. Nor do I have a "womanly bod". How should I act when we go out?? What do I wear? What do I do? I'm 15 and never had a boyfriend before. Guys never liked me and I'm kind of hesitant. I normally pull my hair back in the same pony tail every day because I'm biracial and hate my curls. What kind of clothing/makeup/hairstyles do guys like??	„
	—Finally, a bitch without USI. She forgot the golden rule, though... NO NIGGERS

	“	Ok.. I can be mean sometimes.. its only cause it takes a while for me to warm up to people. And there was this new guy and i was kind cold towards him. Then he kept talking to me even though i was still being continue to be mean to him. The main reason i was mean to him in particular because girls fall at his feet and he just walks away from them like he's some sort of cocky i-can-get-any-girl-when-i-want guy but i didn't even look at him twice and now he makes me laugh even when i'm real maadd. Its been a few months and i barely think of him as a friend but He always buy's me things. Loads of my friends think we like each other but i dont know how i feel or how he feels. He's a likeable person and so i dont know if he likes me or if its possible that he does this with other girls.. we've had some starry-eyed moments but i dont know if they mean anything. i dont even know if he just thinks i'm the same as all the other girls he talks to.. help me out?	„
	—Bitches don't know bout the Friend Zone

	“	I'm so confused?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? so im kinda snappy and always talk back but my parents are always like we're gonna send u to foster house and all this sh**y stuff and i feel bad cuz deep down i love them but... now they took my tv away and about to take my computer too and im just like take my life too y dont u i might sound like a brat but i HATE my life and cry evryday.	„
	—BAWWW

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	Mental illness & Disorders	Acrotomophilia • Addiction • Agoraphobia • Alcoholism • Alexis Pilkington Syndrome • Alzheimer's • Anorexia • Antisocial personality disorder • Anthropophobia • Anxiety • ADD • ADHD • Asperger's Syndrome • Autism • Bimbofication • Bipolar • Borderline personality disorder • Bug Chasing • Bulimia • Cognitive dissonance • Deep thinker • Depression • Dick Impalement • Down's Syndrome • Dyslexia • Eating disorder • Factitious disorder • Fake Schizophrenia • Fauxlimia • Feminism • Gender dysphoria • Girl on the Internet Syndrome • Heterophobia • Hero Complex • HFA • Histrionic Personality Disorder • Hutchence's Syndrome • Hyperbolimia • Inadequacy • Inconsistent personality disorder • Insanity • Liberal Butthurt Syndrome • Liberalism • Low Self-esteem • 'Missing White Woman' Syndrome • Multiple personality disorder • Napoleon Complex • Narcissistic personality disorder • Neurotypical • Obsessive Compulsive Disorder • Paranoia • Paranoid personality disorder • Peter Pan Syndrome • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder • Psychopathy • Pyromania • Retardation • Schizophrenia • Seasonal Affective Disorder • Self-diagnosis • Self Injury • Sexsomnia • Sickfuckery • Sociopathy • Social anxiety disorder • Special Snowflake Syndrome • Terminological percipience disorder • Trolling Induced Transsexuality Syndrome • Tulpa • Unrealistic expectations • Victim complex
	Fetishes:	Acrotomophilia • Aquaphilia • Arborphilia • Audiophilia • Autogynephilia • Balloon Fetish • Bestiality • Carmen Electra complex • Cross Dressing • Dollfilia • Emetophilia • Emosexuality • Eproctophilia • Fatty Fetish (Female Fat Admirer) • Fetishism • Foot Fetish • Furniture Porn • Furrism • Goo girl • Guro • Heterophilia • Homophilia • Inflation Fetish • Japanophilia • Jungle Fever • Lesbian pedophilia • Lotion Play • Macrophilia • Maiesiophilia • Mechanophilia • Mpreg • Necrophilia • Objectophilia • Oedipial Complex • Paraphilia • Pedophilia • Plushophilia • Pregnant Loli • Pregnophilia • Quicksand Fetish • Rangerphilia • Spectrophilia • Statuephilia • Trichophilia • Voraphilia • Wet and Messy Fetishism • Wetlook • Xenophilia • Yellow fever • Zoophilia
	E-Psychosis:	Chronic Troll Syndrome • Deletionism • E-go • E-Psychiatrist • E-Psychiatry • ETD • Hivemind • I-Dosing • I have a 140 IQ • IRC Disease • Imaginary girlfriend • Internet Disease & Internet Disease Chart • Internet poverty delusions • Internet Rehab • Internet troll personality disorder • Mega ultra super genius • Nerdy Fandom Gateway Theory • Sex by association • Lulz-Blindness • Wikipedia's Greatest Hits Diseases
	Experiments:	ask.fm • Brainwashing • Hypnosis • Milgram Experiment • Scientology • Stanford Prison Experiment • The Hivemind Corollary
	Sites:	Above Top Secret • B/ • Bodies Under Siege • CYOC • Chatroulette • Defense Industries Organization • Deeker • FoolQuest.com • InkBunny • Neuticles.com • Psyke.org • WarpMyMind.com
	See also:	American Psychiatric Association • Anger • ASMR • Child abuse • Conscience • Dreams • DSM • Elan School • Enlightenment • Intelligence • Lobotomy • Mary Bell • Psychiatristy • Serial Killers • Take the meat bridge • The Law of Conformity • Trigger Warning

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