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Callum Stockley
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It is believed that Callum Stockley was an eleven year old boy whose life has tragically ended on June 4, 2010, with a lolful vidya gaem related death which has improved both the British and 360-playing gene pool. Young Callum's purported death -by accidentally hanging himself with the Xbox cable- gives him access to a very exclusive club of gaming Gods alongside Jake Roberts, who killed himself when he was denied to play with his wonderful Wii, and Brandon Crisp, who fell out of a fucking tree when he ran away after his precious XBawks was taken away.
However, the thing that sets this tragic game-related death apart from the others is that practically every sentence of every article regarding this event have the phrases “it is believed”, “it was heard that” or “according to”. At this point, if you think that the likelihood of someone hanging them-self "accidentally" with an XBox cable is pure bullshit, join the rest of the club, buddy; even the old media thinks this one smells fishy.
Folks, we have a little controversy here. Warwickshire Police are treating the death as "unexplained". A post mortem is expected to take place this week and an inquest will be opened and adjourned next week.
The (Frankly Dubious) Chain Of Events
According to the news, Callum was a role model and a popular student in St Giles Junior School at the age of eleven.
One fateful day, June 4th 2010, Callum was busy playing video games on his Xbox 360 sitting on the top of his bunk bed; now him being eleven, he was probably playing some shitty Sonic game. His mother then called him down for dinner. After he failed to show up downstairs for dinner she went upstairs to check up on him to see what he was up to. Shockingly, she finds her poor son hanging from the top bunk with the power cable around his neck (actual body position unknown).
She, along with a couple neighbors and friends, has concluded that it was merely an accident. Right…
What has made this story more heartbreaking is that Callum had the ultimate army LARPer's dream. That dream would be to fight for his loving country by being garroted by razor wire by a Talib& towelhead terrorist in Afghanistan. Oh what a loss for the Coalition of the Willing. :'(
We Touched Our Son Up, He Hanged Himself And We Are Now Frantically Trying To Dig Our Way Out
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"It It Believed" That Absolutely NOBODY Is Believing A Word Of This
Of course there were no witnesses around to see how exactly Callum has died, thus stories based on this rely on what was believed to have happened. Could Callum have really died by accidentally hanging himself? Now, you must consider the following, the story is that Callum, an eleven year old boy, was hanged by a wire. That would mean that his body would be entirely supported by a single Microsoft power lead which would pop out of the socket if accidentally yanked. This wire was anchored to a game console. Said game console wasn’t even pulled down off the bunk by his weight when he was said to have hung himself.
The police are treating Callum's death as "Unexplained." An inquest takes place toward the end of June.
—The Sun | ||
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It is believed that once Edgeworth and Gumshoe get access to the bedroom and have a chance to attempt to reconstruct the event as it is believed to have occurred, it is believed that those involved will have a world of uncomfortable questions to answer.
After all, as Chuck Palahniuk wrote:
—Though I'm not sure if these guys succeeded. |
See Also
External Links
- Daily Fail story
- Facebook memorial page
- Callum on Facebook
- Callum's dad, Gary
- (Callum's mum, Stephanie...strangely absent from his Facebook friend list).
- No U
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Callum Stockley is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |
