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2017

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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2017 is part of a series on Time
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It's been around 10 years since the golden age of the internet, and now the world is a much shittier place. Memes and OC died out for well over 5 years, but in the middle of the 2010s, we saw a brief resurgence of lulz. Memes like the clown Donald Trump and Pepe The Frog have ushered in a new age of fun for 5 minutes before they became unfunny again due to normie fags, with many reinventions and revitalizations of our classical meme culture. However, the world is on the brink of war, pitting Nationalist alt-right retards against SJW Globalist Ctrl-Alt-Left twats. Although the IRL WW3 has yet to begin, the internet is deep in an epic battle of autism, reaching a climax of events throughout the year, as the alt-right faggots piss the jewish elite off too far, prompting them to censor and delete everything in sight, whilst the NORP fags erode what little remains of the OC regenerated. 2017 is expected to have more happenings than ever!

Need a recap of what happened last year? We've got you covered.

Dramatic Events from 2017

January

What the typical western man looks like in 2017
  • On the very first day of the year, trolls release a game called Angry Goy where the goal is to mass exterminate rapefugees, jews and other untermensch from Europe.
  • The UK government will start spying and hacking into systems for statistics that nobody gives a shit about.
  • Once the gift giving was over, Santa Claus killed 39 and injured 69 in an Istanbul nightclub.
  • Donald Trump is sworn in as the 45th president of Dumbfuckistan on the 20th.
  • Final Fantasy VII turns 20. Weebs still butthurt over Aeris.
  • 4chan baits the easily offended masses on Twitter with Clovergender.
  • Niggers in Chiraq abduct a white boy and torture him for hours. They live-stream it on Facebook, before eventually getting captured. This incident only further worsens the already deteriorating race relations in the United States. The Chiraq police, being the liberal cucks that they are, refuse to recognize it as a hate crime.
  • Sam Hyde shoots up a festival in Mexico, resulting in over a dozen casualties, before fleeing south to run amok in a Mexican high school. He fled the country and has yet to be apprehended.
  • Juggalos figure out how the fuck magnets work
  • The CIA get's baited by /pol/ into believing that Trump hired hookers to piss on a bed so that Obama would cry like an anime fan on prom night
  • BeCandid gets caught in hosting great amounts of CP.
  • Dylann Storm Roof represents himself in court and pulls his plan off- getting the death penalty.
  • Gambia chimps out
  • Obongo commutes the sentence of Bradley "Chelsea" Manning.
  • Trump cucks CNN at a press conference calling them out for being fake news. Mark Dice tells the story
  • Zoe Quinn decided to become agender, thereby robbing the 5 guys' only claim to being with a woman. It might turn into the neutrois identity. Only a matter of time before she turns into a proper cancer alien
  • Some faggy little kid in Mexico shoots up his school; gore pics are leaked to much drama and lulz.
  • Mark Hamill responds to ED on Twitter. ED owner finally gets his first erection of 2017.
  • A mudslime named Dimitrious Gargasoulas culturally enriches an Australian mall in Melbourne, turning it into a racing course. A few people get educated about diversity.
  • Kiwifarms is shut down after Null or some other admin's family is doxxed and trolled HARD, causing someone's mommy to lose their job.
    • tl;dr karma's a bitch.
    • Kiwifags flood ED and EDF en-masse prompting staff to create a new kiddie pool for the invaders.
      • Kiwifarms was revived. Nobody cared.
  • ISIS pwns an ancient roman theater
  • After Obongo pardoned countless prisoners, news leaks out that 4 of them were cartel leaders.
  • Trump pushes for US withdrawal from TPP, UN, etc... Globalist kikes are now ready to push WW3.
    • Trump prevents Obongo's WW3 with Russia; both countries are now allies in Syria fighting against ISIS.
  • Trump signs executive order of building the wall.
  • Maine legalizes it
  • Sam Hyde shoots up a mosque in Quebec, pwning 6 terrorists.

2017 Inauguration of Donald Trump

  • During the Trump Inauguration in Washington DC, leftist fags cause havoc as they riot and protest for hours on end. Hundreds are gassed or arrested. Trump gives his speech and discusses the grim miserable situation Dumbfuckistan is in, unlike most other presidents who brown-nose and say how murka's doin' great.
    • Obongo acts like a little bitch and takes shelter in a DC house of his, planning to get Trump impeached or encumbered, and commits to several other hi-jinks to fuck with him
    • A /pol/lack trolls a kike IRL and it goes viral [1]
      • He also makes several other lulzy videos where he 'infiltrates' communist faggots groups during the protests
    • A leftist gets triggered and becomes a meme, akin to Carl the Cuck
    • Nearly half a million feminazi cunts march on Washington in an attempt to get Donald to grab their pussies.
      • Other feminazi cunts march across the world as well.
    • Madonna threatens terrorist action against the white house, prompting the Secret Service to open an investigation.
    • Shia LaBeouf sets up a 4 year livestream project called He Will Not Divide Us meant to give resistance / unity to the residents of the area. Instead, trolls from /pol/ show up to troll leftists IRL. A constant shitstorm occurs for weeks on end!
    • Richard Spencer gets sucker punched by Sam Hyde in the DC area as well.
    • Gavin McInnes tries punching a leftist, but it causes 0 damage. Quickly runs away.
    • George H.W. Bush gets triggered over the inauguration and is hospitalized.

February

  • Milo Yiannopoulos holds speeches at several universities across the United States. Liberals riot in massive numbers, beating up those they disagree with to the point of near death. A Category 4 Chimpout situation. Later on in the month, he is interviewed and trolled by Bill Maher and other MSM kikes. Days later, Milo is outed as a pedophile (or at least hebephile). [2]
  • Jews chimp the fuck out over Trump not directly mentioning the 6 trillion kikes smited in the made up holohoax on the annual holohoax memorial day held in America.
  • He Will Not Divide Us is shut down after a massive trolling campaign IRL conducted by /pol/
  • Dear White People, a racist anti-white Netflix exclusive series is revealed to audiences. The reaction is historically overwhelmingly negative. Official YouTube trailers for the show rack in 95~99% negative ratings and hundreds of thousands of hostile messages. In response, Netflix keeps taking down and reuploading the video only for the internet hate machine to continue to trash it.
  • Kiwifarms comes back online, sadly.
  • Germany implements Truck Control in order to prevent the next mass-driving.
  • Allegedly, an authentic picture of an Alien is leaked on 4chan causing a short outage, sparking massive manhunts for the picture. In reality, it was just a prank people pulled off after the servers suffered a short outage. Only retards from /x/ would think the pic is legit.
  • Google makes its prototype troll detection software, Jigsaw public after releasing new code called Perspective. Trolls immediately get to work to fuck up the AI like we did to Tay.

March

  • A Bernie Sanders supporter, a nigger named Juan Thompson who was a fake news reporter, was arrested for making bomb threats against kikes.
  • The Shadow Government escalates their attacks on the Trump administration, eyeing for Jeff Sessions to be terminated or removed, as was done to Flynn.
  • A jap accumulated 6 tons (13,228 pounds) of pornographic magazines which collapsed on top of him, crushing him to death. It is only 6 months later that his body is found.[4]
  • A new Zelda game, Breath Of The Wild, is released to extreme fanboyism and praise with most (paid) reviewers giving it almost perfect scores. Non-fanboys play it and find it to be a buggy, grindfesty and boring waste of time.
  • 5 March 2017 New Kids On The Block member Tommy Page becomes an hero probably with a handful of pills because lacking irony he didn't want people to see him Hangin' Tough.
  • Wikileaks releases documents showing how the CIA has hacked all the worlds computers into being able to be used as botnets or be raped by viruses, along with other shit everyone presumed was true but is now proven.
  • 4chan trolls are able to put a MAGA hat and pepe shirt on top of a flag Shia set up for HWNDU. It was difficult to track down the location of the flag as the only information available was the livestream showcasing the flag its self. They were able to track it down, using CIA-level research and tactics to discover the location and plan the assault.
  • A school shooting occurs in France. The suspect is discovered to be a fan of the game Hatred and watched several videos on jewtube relating to mass killings.
  • Shaq came out of the closet claiming the Earth Is flat. A Truly wtf moment. See Flat Earth Society for more info in what Shaq is trying to talk about.
  • Encyclopedia Dramatica goes down from March 18th to the 22nd, returning under a .rs domain.
  • Some liberal fag sets up a site hosting an image of a HWNDU flag, and quickly gets hax0red.
  • Evidence is revealed detailing how Obongo and the corrupt 3 letter agencies spied on Trump as far back as 2004.
  • Watcha doin' rabbi?: An American-Israeli 19 year old is arrested after having been discovered to have made a vast majority of nearly 200 threats against Jewish community centers around the world.
  • Dr. Phil hosts an episode interviewing an escaped slave of the elite, where she describes how she was raped as a baby and raised as a sex slave, forced to eat shit, and being hunted on a private island. Later: Phil's inevitable mysterious death.
  • Apple Trolls fans by releasing an iPad with older generation specs inside a modern iPad design trying to deceive people into thinking it's new so they would buy it when in fact you are buying an older iPad from 2015 a truly lulzy moment.
  • A troll plasters several antisemitic meme posters all around Scottsdale AZ, triggering the mainstream media and bringing great lulz to us all.
  • Demonii gets shut down; it was the biggest torrent tracker in the world, with over 50 million trackers in a given year. YIFY and Popcorn Time also get fucked by the MPAA.

April

  • As an April Fool's joke, Reddit creates a project called Place, where users are able to interact with a million pixel grid in real-time. Tens of thousands of fags flame each other and form tribes to keep their autistic pixel art alive before trolls or other neckbeard faggots destroy their hard work.
  • POOL'S CLOSED: Gilbert Baker, the fag who designed the gay pride flag, dies of AIDS.
  • After some jew stages a false flag, YouTube advertisers start to pull their ads from countless channels in order to avoid being associated with any offensive content. The result is that most content creators' income is decimiated, such as TheAmazingAtheist who loses up to 85% of his shekels. Although, that might just be him trying to jew his dumb goy audience for more $ again.
  • Multiple bombs go off in St.Petersburg, Russia killing dozens. Most likely a Zionist American plot to trigger WW3.
  • After being triggered over a false flag where a bunch of little kids get gassed, Trump nukes a Syrian/Russian base bowing to the jews and neocons who control Dumbfuckistan, and potentially kickstarting World War 3.
    • The internet, especially /pol/ and Infowars fucking explode. Half of Trumptards immediately turn on Trump for fear that he became a neocon puppet; especially /pol/, the heart of the alt right after being exclusively targeted by every leftist hivemind there is, such as CTR or Shareblue. One thing is for certain: consequences will nevar be the same.
  • L33t hax0rs known as "The Shadow Brokers" leak out top-secret NSA tools to the public
    • Some hacker in Texas also set off an entire city's alarms at once and caused lots of chaos and lulz
  • A furry convention, Rocky Mountain Fur Con 2017, gets cancelled due to an accelerating microculture of Nazi-furs, which triggered the fuck out of the conventions attendants as the strife escalated to death threats and general IRL flame wars and legal threats. (archive)
  • Filthy nigger livestreams himself executing a random black guy point blank [6]
  • Battle of Berkeley: huge ass riots break out in Berkeley, California. This time, "Nazis" punch back, triggering the fuck out of the hypocritical terrorist leftists.
  • A filthy nigger goes postal in an attempt to kill as many whitey as possible. Media covers it up naturally as the shooter isnt white
    • On the anniversary, a nigra named Steve Stephens goes for the high score after shooting a random guy on the street while live streaming it to facebook from his smartphone
  • Continuing on their cultural war, Twatter deletes yet another non-SJW account. Sam Hyde recently got b&, so expect to hear about a mass shooting at Twatter HQ. Even if OP doesn't deliver, Twatter's stocks continue to plummet.

May

  • Yet again, the hacker known as 4chan (trolls from /pol/) make international news. They leaked a fuckload of documents pertaining to a French politician, Emmanuel Macron and his international communications. Wikileaks later scans through the evidence and claims none of the material is faked, despite the politicians pleas and lies stating otherwise. Information included in the leaks suggest international insider trading schemes, access to government secrets, Rothschild connections, Darknet drug deals, and more. The french government claims it was the work of Russian hackers. French media is later forbidden to report on the leaks, and the country bans access to 4chan.
    • Marine Le Pen loses the French Elections, triggering the alt-right.
  • Following the leaks pertaining to the NSA / CIA's l33t hax, a group of skiddies implement the gov'ts code into their own ransomware program that infects a fuckload of people. Thankfully, after white knight hax0rs took a look at the skidfags code, they found it to be easy to outmaneuver and conquer. Still, millions of anuses were violated electronically without preparing and the consequences will likely never be the same again.
  • After the controlled Media kikes destroyed Milo Yiannopoulos' career after he quickly gained mainstream traction, they bring him back with a 12 million dollar grant to start his own news cycle, whilst under their direct control.
  • An Ariana Grande concert in the United Kingdom is culturally enriched, with around 20 people being diversified and dozens of others getting educated about diversity in a bombing attack. Current news speculates that noted White Shariah terrorist, Sam Hyde was responsible.
  • The owner of the infamous Nazi Pug is now facing a year in prison.
  • Some faggot ass copyright troll begins to open a lolsuit against ED. Please Donate to us or ED could die.
  • A domestic dispute in Mississippi goes violent as a deranged man ends up going on a killing spree, taking out nearly a dozen people.
  • Notable sperglord Dan Cilley is v& due to a 2015 stunt where he hit on and sexualized a underage girl.
  • Encyclopedia Dramatica leadership is finally able to upgrade the MediaWiki software. However, most of the sites code gets fucked up, so we have to form a platoon of several methed up chimps to fix everything. We gained many new features, but we lost the ability to show page views / edit meta settings, etc.

June

  • Not even a month goes by before another cultural enrichment of London occurs. This time, three mudslimes and a Truck of Peace diversifies 8 Britbongs and 80 others are educated about diversity. When the truck crashed, the driver left to deal with the racist Brits with a machete. The British police ran off as they were unable to fight him due to a lack of firearms, leaving the civilians to fend for themselves before the terrorists were subdued. Naturally, the left wing retards are calling for people to ignore the act because muh Islamophobia and to carry on while they suffer more terrorist attacks from the Religion of Peace, while the right wing retards are calling for more Internet censorship because muh security, which has done fuck all to protect the white people of Britain from being ethnically cleansed by third world savages.
  • Another act of multiculturalism happens in France a day later, this time a hammer-wielding mudslime attacks a cop outside Notre Dame during mass and is shot dead. Emmanuel Macron was too busy being a cucked faggot to respond.
  • At the same time, Ariana Grande held a benefit concert for the victims of the bombing by singing "Side to Side", a song involving | "wrist icicles", "riding dick bicycles" and getting fucked so hard you can't walk right to young British girls, and is lauded and praised as a hero by the media. There are also donations to the Red Cross, who are at the same time smuggling in the same third world Muslim savages who cause these attacks in Western Europe. You just can't make this shit up.
  • An edgy little twat named Randy Robert Stair goes for the high score after the voices inside of his head got too strong and he was driven to kill by his mental illness the evil video games and internet websites he visited. People later discover Randy's social media accounts and find out that he was an autistic emo git and DeviantArt member, oh and that as fucking usual, he admired the faggots who were responsible for Columbine. Epic lulz ensue, as the internet hate machine collectivizes to tear that little fuck a new asshole- one that will be put to real good use by a demonic brute in hell.
  • Notable mass murderer, Anders Breivik, changes his name to "Fjotolf Hansen".
  • Rockstar decides its a good idea to ban all mods for its games (such as GTA 5) and demand that OpenIV cease distributing their software. Within days, hundreds of thousands of people boycott the company, raping the ratings of the game GTA 5 on Steam.
  • Skittles releases an all-white colored brand during fag-pride month. SJWs collectively shit bricks and produce enough salt and tears to finance a medium-sized business.
  • Yet again JewTube releases another pointless video, this time about refugees. The comments and like/dislike ratio are as you can expect by now, with people refusing to go along with the narrative. And George Soros wonders why people hate him.
  • The 2017 Ramadan Bombathon ends June 24th, being the most peaceful so far. With only 174 terror attacks totaling 1595 casualties, Muslims around the world show the filthy kuffar how tolerant and peaceful they really are. Meanwhile, the racist misogynistic Islamophobic KKK Neo-Nazi right wing Trump supporting kaffir committed TWO WHOLE TERRORIST ATTACKS against the peaceful believers, resulting in TWO WHOLE CASUALTIES. Obviously, white people are the problem here.
  • The rising Alt-right and alt-lite / new-right have a little sissyfit. [7]
  • Not learning from last year YouTube made another #ProudToBe video. YouTube still doesn't know that people don't like videos supporting mental illness and pandering to the endless victimhood of these delusional freaks.

July

  • Trump tweets a meme of him wrestling with CNN in a shitpost. The fake news media kikes track down the creator of the gif, redditer HanAssholeSolo, to discover it to be a 15 year old baby boomer autist. They then proceed to dox, ddos and destroy the man's life by threatening to expose him should he continue his antics. It was initially believed that Han was a 15 year old. The Mainstream Media is now officially the enemy of the American People.
  • Filthy jew rat and childless used up thot, Stevie Ryan, emulates Robin Williams and an heroes via hanging. Prior to suicide, Stevie was a walking red flag simply due to the fact of being a female over the age of 30 without kids, and you know how crazy those degenerates are.
  • Antifa Communist terrorists, including wealthy leftist gender studies college "educated" students, their professors, and other degenerates gather in Hamburg for their largest Black Bloc chimpout against the G20 globalist governments that share the same policies Antifa does, burning cars, looting stores, and assaulting police officers in a mob organized effort to fight capitalism or some other shit. Afterwards, they go home to sip on their $15 lattes on Mommy and Daddy's dime as they brag about fighting the system that they also support.
  • CRAWLING IN MY SKIN: Linkin Park singer, Chester Bennington, commits suicide after guilt over his emo faggot ass voice but it will probably be called sexual misadventure like David Carradine because being a pervert is still cooler than being an emo.
  • O.J. Simpson is granted parole from prison due October after serving 9 years for a botched robbery involving reclaiming his stolen shit. In other news, Ford will be releasing the new Bronco model later on this year. Expect a repeat of June 17th, 1994.
  • YouTube can't seem to quit with pushing their own agenda, despite the vast majority of people being sick of their shit: [8]
  • Infamous pervert and pedophile, Shadman draws artwork of a loli trap kid, prompting several hostile threads on /pol/ and a potential lolsuit IRL.
  • Kurt Eichenwald is exposed by Wikileaks to be a moderator for a child porno site, amongst other things. Kurt has a Twatter chimpout, ensuring moar lulz from the fat bald Jew.
  • The filthy fucking kikes strongly tighten their grip on free speech again, after Jewtube puts the Anti Defamation League and the European Union in charge of regulating the YouTube community and putting videos they don't like into the corner to collect dust and prevent the goyim from knowing.
  • By this point, a significant majority of internet culture and consumers (especially our greater-chan culture) are certified Hitler youth now, and not just entirely ironically. Prepare for the rise of legit fascism and Right Wing Death Squads in the future.

August

  • Wikileaks confirms that Seth Rich was the man behind the DNC Leaks after Imran Awan, the Paki IT guy from the DNC who was hired by Debbie Wasserman Schultz and possible murderer of Seth Rich, was arrested after trying to flee the U.S. with his ill gotten gains. Expect a proper investigation into the murder by autists from 4chan.
  • Female Privilege: Michelle Carter, the thot who convinced her boyfriend to kill himself in an incident of raging firestorm of controversy, gets only 15 months in prison.
  • Justin Bieber, after cancelling his world tour concert, speaks to the media and reveals information critical to the conspiracy theory that satanic pedophiles control the music industry, just weeks after the "suicide" of Chester Bennington. How long until Justin Bieber commits suicide?
  • Our boys over at the GNAA conduct a trolling campaign against Whitney Wolfe, and her company and tinder-ripoff dating service for feminists, Bumble. The campaign started off after the feminists treated the building they rented their operation from as their own shit and hoarded all the services for themselves, and acted like the typical entitled feminist shitheads to everyone. The GNAA got word of this and you know- shit went from there. Despite the dumb feminazi twats violating the law, they (as usual) got a pussy pass and got virtually no punishment, aside from wetting themselves from the GNAA stepping in.
  • The North Korea-United States tension reaches an all-time high with a major war between the two seeming inevitable. Millions will die because of a microdick waving contest between Kim-Ching-Chong and The Donald.
  • ED goes down from August 9th to August 12th. We apologize for any inconveniences.
  • Another Truck of Peace kills 16 and wounds 100 in Barcelona, Spain. The Media react as is expected. At this point no one should be surprised.
  • On 21 August 2017 a giant dragon will swoop down and eat the sun in what's called an Eclipse. On this day, all intelligent life will end as the internet is filled with retard after retard chronicling their theories with podcasts about aliens and all other brands of stupidity.

Daily Stormer Autism & ICANN / Corporate Internet Censorship

The period of August 2017 was one of the most critical in the history of the internets. Basically, neo-nazi troll autists cross the line one too many times, which provokes the elites to fully ramp up their leftist politically charged censorship campaigns. Although the elites targeted neo nazi assholes, as usual, it's a slippery goddamn slope that has trickled down into censoring everyone that is on the right of Joseph Stalin, politically speaking. The result is that millions of peasants had their virtual necks sliced to prevent them from speaking blasphemy against the ruling elite.

  • alt-right dumbass fags fall for a CIA honeypot, and get into a sissy fit riot (hereby titled the Battle of Charlottesville) with antifa fags somewhere in The South, prompting the president to acknowledge the drama and condemn all parties involved. A severe civil-war shitstorm forms and surrounds the event.
    • For Trump's criticism of every side, liberal retards and the ZOG Media sperg the fuck out over it and try to allude Trump to being an outright neo fascist. We at ED want to pick on all sides (as everyone is full of shit); Trump's a fucking dolt, but he's not Hitler 2.0, you fucking retards.
    • During another spergfest of a protest, Marxist faggots block the road prompting a based false flagging federal shill named James Alex Fields to run them over, killing a white guilt stricken childless fat fuck and waste of human life, Heather Heyer, in the process.
    • Later, GoDaddy, Google, and Discord sperg out and shut down services to the Daily Stormer, an infamous neo-nazi troll blog, with Discord deleting several other salt-right channels for "promoting violence". Meanwhile, the degenerate Communist - Marxist - Judeao side has absolutely no consequences for their actions for doing the same violent nigger behavior chimpouts that the retarded alt-right did.
    • Daily Stormer retreats to the darkweb where their sites constantly keep going out after CloudFlare bans them as well. Tor openly denounces them and attempts to fuck with them while allowing pedophiles, terrorists, drug dealers, and serial killers a free pass; going back on their promise of defending political dissidents. The whole point of TOR in the first place.
    • The Daily Stormer tries to return under .ru, .wang, .lol, .al, .at, .is, .cat, and .ph (all banned, btw) before finally returning under .ai as well as .onion. (sorry, tor is for CP only)
  • YouTube fully rolls out their shadowbanning system. Basically, a SB'd video will be demonetized, de-listed from any search engines, have favoriting, comments, ratings, and other services removed. The first video to get whacked was the evil nazi propaganda video, Race Differences in Intelligence.

September

  • The FBI and Department of Homeland Security finally get some balls and publicly declare Antifa as a terrorist organization, despite recognizing it as such in early 2016. Somewhere in New York City, the international globalist Communist terrorist George Soros✡ and The Learned Elders of Zion✡ are pissed and causes a shitstorm of epic proportions on Twatter and Tumblr.
  • Shortly after the devastating anal rampage that was Hurricane Harvey, which pwn'd Houston, TX- a challenger appears. Hurricane Irma is spawned by god to pwn noobs, and quickly rises in power level way past 9000, becoming the third most powerful hurricane of all time- which was set on a path towards Florida or even Texas its self (for round 2. It's all good, fuck those states).
  • The Donald trolls the hell out of illegal immigrants by ending DACA, an Obama-era policy instituted in 2012 on September 5, 2017. Leftards took this out of context as they always do, and raged on Twatter and other social media, and also getting facts wrong about it.
  • The author of My Immortal comes out of hiding and reveals herself as a troll who wrote the story in order to find her brother when they separated from foster care and to intentionally fuck with the fan fiction community. The internet explodes.
  • LOLOLOL: Ted Cruz accidentally posts incest porn on his twitter, causing a scandal which climaxes in another hurricane formulating and rampaging upon the wasteland that is America
  • Swedish faggot Pewdiepie says the word "nigger" during a livestream. Old media liberals spew out 20 page thesises decrying him as the reincarnation of Adolf Hitler, to justify their useless __'s studies degrees.
  • An ED-Super admin has to move, which fucks up the image hosting services for the site for a few weeks.
  • Following developments regarding a brutal war deep in the forests of Chicongo, OOg of the D'uruhu chimp tribe personally massacres 138 rival chimps. This shocking spectacle of deadly carnage is the worst of its kind in Chicago's blood-drenched history.
  • It is made public that around May~July 2017, hackers on steroids pulled off an epic data breach that exposed the credit information of 143,000,000+ Americunts, the most epic hack of all time. It is later revealed that the corporation hacked, Equifax, put a dumb liberal whore in charge of data security, and her credentials listed her as having a music major.
  • Notable internet troll and douchebag Martin Shkreli gets v& after "threatening" Hillary Clinton from a post of his which reads, “On HRC’s book tour, try and grab a hair from her. I must confirm the sequences I have. Will pay $5,000 per hair obtained from Hillary Clinton." His bond was set at $5,000,000 only for it to get whacked by the judge. He is also facing up to 20 years for financial crimes.
  • Fake News Organization CNN finally admits that Obongo wiretapped Trump's campaign, validating what Trump had been saying since the start.
  • September 23, 2017 is the supposed "end of the world," according to some attention whore-seeking Christfag and /pol/tards. passes by with nothing happening, making all the doomsday autists look like total dorks yet again.
  • Matt Furie, creator of the Pepe the Frog meme, copyrights his meme and sends takedown notices to far-right trolls who corrupted his meme.
  • Crazy old hag Angela Merkel is re-elected for some reason for a fourth term, whilst literal evil neo-nazi "far right" party, Alternative Fur Deutschland, gains significant power in the German parliament, the first time an actual right-wing party got in charge since Hitler. Jews are on high alert of the German people becoming aware of their own genocide via mass immigration and are most likely forging stories of another Holohoax involving fake shower rooms, ovens, and lampshades and bars of soap made out of Jews.
  • ComicGate kicks off after the comics industry, being the greedy shallow cunts they are, is currently crashing and burning into a smoldering ruin after they decided that letting deranged Communist SJWs write their shitty propaganda "comics" about diversity, feminism and White Genocide would somehow be profitable. Naturally, these degenerate twats blame the fans for not liking and buying their unreadable filth and go on the warpath against their own fanbase, not learning anything from three years ago when games journalists went to war with the gamers (AND FUCKING LOST!!!). Might not ever become as big as GamerGate, but you never know.
  • 27 September, A sad day indeed as Hugh Hefner passes away at 91. Nerds and chronic masturbaters pledge to go 5 minutes without fapping to honor his life. Will be buried next to Marilyn Monroe so they can have a worm fest orgy in the afterlife.

October

We'll never have another IRL lookalike to play the Mad Hatter in a Batman movie
  • Yet another crazed gunman in Dumbfuckistan commits mass murder. Stephen Paddock unleashes hell from several different firearms (including machine guns) upon a redneck country music festival in Las Vegas, from the safety of his hotel. 58 are pwn'd and 546 are injured, making him the deadliest mass shooter in American history.
    • Conspiratards go nuts due to the many inconsistancies in the tragedy as the FBI and old media fuck up hard in regards to coverage of the story and reporting of the truth.
    • 2 October 2017: Ironically Tom Petty from Tom Petty And The Heart Breakers died from a massive heart attack. Like all dead musicians, he is again of relevance and his albums will be taken out of the $3 bin and get marked up to $13 or $15 at Wal-Mart for the oldfucks who haven't figured out how to download music.
  • Washed out ex-superstar, Marshall Mathers (Eminem) releases a freestyle trump diss, with mediocre lyricism and execution (rare for Eminem), threatening his Republican fans that if they support Trump, he doesn't want them as fans. As expected, this planned media hysteria event causes a moderate shitstorm and only fuels the further collapse of what remains of Eminem's career. Although he has plenty of jew gold to retire on.
  • Disgusting fat degenerate liberal Jew Harvey Weinstein✡ is exposed for being a sexist pervert and a pathetic omega by multiple actresses including, ironically, Ashley Judd. He is fired from the Weinstein Company and disavowed from Hollywood, despite Hollywood being the capital of degeneracy and sexual perversion. Harvey states that he will redeem himself by going up against the NRA, somehow. As more and more actors and actresses go out and expose the harassment and rape they've endured, Hollywood will eventually lose whatever moral authority they had left when they were busy lecturing the plebs about how terrible they are while being the degenerate fucks they claim they hate.
  • NeoGAF creator and SJW "Feminist" Evilore has been accused of molesting a chick. Currently, NeoGaf is in flames after an epic forum-side shitstorm not seen online in a decade and is crumbling from the pressure. Grab the popcorn and have fun!
  • In retaliation for September's Chicago massacre which killed 138 chimps, Din-Diu, leader of the Crip tribe, commits a terrorist attack slaughtering 500 in an explosion-based rampage in the territory of the D'uruhu tribe. This is only one of thousands of homicidal attacks carried out in Chicago on a weekly basis, following a general trend towards escalating violence in the decaying cities of Dumbfuckistan.
  • Nearly 5 years after the Sandy Hook school massacre, the FBI releases large amounts of details of their reports into the tragedy, sparking a resurgence of interest in the case.
  • Also in released docs, the JFK assassination documents have finally been released by the CIA on orders from President Trump. Leftists and Jews cry out in pain as they try to disregard the documents and claim that Trump is trying to distract the public from his 'controversies'.
  • In unrelated news, the establishment does a 180 on the Putin-Russia Kookspiracy when the IDS released a 'report' officially blaming the hacker known as 4chan and his army 1337 Neo-Nazi hax0rs of subverting the 2016 election by using NATO psychological warfare tactics via posting memes and publically advocating for Trump through completely legal means, as well as spreading the news of the true results of the Muslim Invasion of Europe and the leftist attempt to cover up these facts. The 'report' then declares the only way to stifle this is to use more censorship in order to prevent the goyim from being able to think freely and for themselves. What interesting times we live in. BPS video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dq2315crBXc
  • Another One Bites the Dust: Kevin Spacey is accused of molesting a 14-year-old year ago by a fellow actor. Spacey tries do defect the accusation by coming out of the closet, only to confirm that homos are indeed pedos. Netflix cancels his shit show House of Cards, and 8 employees of said show claim that he molested them. Autists recall that Family Guy made a lame joke about Kevin with a naked Stewie back in 2001.

November

  • November 3rd marks ten years since the Chris-chan article was created on Encyclopedia Dramatica.
  • On the 4th, the retarded Soros✡-run Anti-American Antifa movement, and their equally retarded #Resistance (who are nothing more than Democratic Establishment sycophants) planned to have a massive chimpout on the one year anniversary of Trump's election win in a piss-poor attempt to overthrow him, somehow. Unfortunately (for them), these millennial commies don't know that removing Trump from power results in Mike Pence taking over, provided they actually carried out their "Revolution". In the end, absolutely nothing happened other than congregating and liberal screeching in 20 American cities.
    • As usual, autistic /pol/lacks are wrong again, way over-estimating their own intelligence. The salt-right autists believed there to be a genuine threat from the losers known as ANTIFA.
  • Once again the terrorist organization and hacker known as 4chan pulls off an epic troll on the Left by putting up posters with the words 'Its Okay to be White', causing these racist Leftist retards to cry out in pain. Across the white Western world, these posters are being put up on college campuses, triggering the fuck out of the ZOG and causing immense amounts of butthurt to leftists and yids, and nobody else.
  • America experiences its 100,000th mass shooting, when a retard named Devin Patrick Kelley gives Dylann Roof a run for his money by executing a mass shooting at the First Baptist Church of Sutherland Springs, which results in 26 deaths and 20 non-fatal injuries.
  • There are No Breaks on the Hollywood Rape Train: George Takei, Richard Dreyfuss, Louis C.K., and Charlie Sheen have been accused of rape and/or molestation. Hollywood has no future in moral lecturing, thank fuck for that.
Emo rapper Lil Peep
  • 15 November 2017 Emo rapper and self-cutter Lil Peep decides on the correct course of action by deleting himself from The Matrix by overdosing on Xanax.
  • Semitic Double Standards: Senator Al Franklin is accused of groping a Playboy Model with photographic evidence of him doing so. Naturally, the Judenpresse defend the Jew by blaming Trump for his "double standards" on Roy Moore being "accused" of kissing several girls in the '70s when they were 16, the legal age of consent of Alabama. Of course, the feminists defended Franklin despite being against the "rape culture" they so constantly whine about.
  • Women around the Western World cry out in pain when an app called Makeapp is released by a Kremlin Linked Russian hax0r that digitally shows what women look like without their precious Fakeup. Naturally, these pretentious thots, whores, sluts, and roasties are angry that the Boyim now know that their tricks of artificially enhancing their beauty are now revealed.

December

  • AIM / AOL Instant Messenger is set to shut down on the 15th of December. Lasting over 20 years, AOL was a juggernaut back in its day, but quickly became a shadow of its former self during the Windows XP era, and becoming mostly abandoned in the 2010s. This follows a general trend of the decline of traditional IM software, as smartphones have taken over the world and raped desktop computing culture.

Gallery

  • Brexit Reality
    Brexit Reality
  • What happens when liberals try to fight the alt-right
    What happens when liberals try to fight the alt-right
  • deranged white man goes on a murder spree
    deranged white man goes on a murder spree
  • Parenting in 2017
    Parenting in 2017
  • The future sucks.
    The future sucks.
  • Racism in 2017
    Racism in 2017
2017
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