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Shinra Online
"ShinraOnline.com" is another crappy, game themed website. Because it is populated strictly by weeaboos and batshit crazy Internet trolls that have been driven away from real sites like Wikipedia and Gamefaqs they have a desire to prove that they are now a part of something cool. They fake traffic and membership through multiple accounts. One estimate has total membership at, or around, 25 members and each member having an average of about 45 aliases. One Former Member, Romy, Described it as such, "They sell themselves as being something Hardcore like the CLASH but what they really are is Avril Lavigne."
—Former Member Romy on Shinra Online. | ||
History
As the name might suggest, initially the community was founded by a rich, over indulged Jewish faggot, by the name of Steve, that obsessed over the video game Final Fantasy 7, and the anime Hello Kitty, and wanted his dad to start him a website losely based on both. As expected - Steve's Jew, dad, being 12 times cheaper then him, decided that the best could be done with the cheapest and worst programers that could be bought at a Lowes or Home Depot for Five Dollars a day.
However, as Jews are quickly bored and always looking to make money off of something, the forum quickly moved away from Final Fantasy because Final Fantasy is shit and there were 100 other sites that were doing the whole theme way better any ways.
Drama & Lulz
Over the years the forum has suffered mad butt hurt from the insepid idea that they can Cause some sort of harm to people sitting at a computer and making fun of their mamas.
The forums main source of drama over the years have been the spam forum known as Sector 7, and the flaming forum known as The War Room.
Sector 7 is really nothing. It's just a part of the site where people go to get their post count up by posting blank pages or simple gibberish because it is the only area on the site where spamming is encouraged and everyone knows that if you want to be respected in real life and on the internet, your post count has to be over 100,000. The only time it does get interesting is when Sketch started the "SHOW ME YOUR BOOBS" event. Discussed later.
The War Room is mainly composed of pimply faced basement dwellers that like to fantasize that they are Hardcore, elite Internet Badasses and that this infamy of going to unprepared sites like Bert and Ernie's Color Challenge for toddlers to call them poopy Faces translates into them as being sociopaths IRL, but when it comes down to reality, they are nothing more than chronic pillow humpers that can't walk to school without their mommy's hand in theirs because the only real skill they have in a fight is coming up with new and original ways to call people seman suckers. The War Room's only claim to fame or what the are better known for, after their Lead Moderater Flu's fame for writing emo filled poems about pink, heart shaped pillows is that they will never leave a site that they have invaded. Long after they have lost any discussion or argument, Shinra's War Room Members will still be populating the invaded site telling them how owned they are.
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Sketch Fresh from Prison for wearing little girls as mustaches -
The War Room's Lead mod, Flu, doing some OLD SKOOL flaming.
SHOW ME YOUR BOOBS
Probably the only interesting event to happen at Shinra Online and was started by an Australian Pedophile by the name of Sketch.
Sketch figured out that 13 year old attention whores can be convinced to show nudity at any site they visit by offering them valuable website beased gifts like free avatars, nametags and signature graphics. Stuff that is worth the mucho bucks in the real world.
His, Sketch's, only rule was that the attention whore can only show their milk udders or snail only. Any pic showing more would be quickly deleted because in Sketch's own words, "You can't tell how old the girl is when all you have is just a close-up of her pussy." The attention whores were also directed to never give any hint about how old they may be.
This was done, strictly for legal reasons, in fact, any girl posting nudity was directed to say she was 18 and in keeping with legality, if it was agreed that a girl looked under age, they were deleted.
The event lasted for about 7 months until one day all posts and pictures were taken down and any and all discussion regarding to it were deleted.
—Sketch, on how to get away with Child Porn. | ||
2016 And Beyond
After being on the internet for over ten years the faggotry continues, only at a slower pace and the only thing that do change are their user names because none of them want to be reminded of their pasts as they trade in their emo filled posts, about how, through reincarnation they have the soul of a samurai or how they'll never get laid because girls only like Jerks and they're above being a jerk, for the 30-something nerd shtick of, "I'm just not at the right point in my life to be having kids." Translation: "You need to get laid sometime in your life to have a kid and I haven't yet." Or, better yet, "A girl has to want to have sex with you before you can have kids."
For anyone that knows this site it will come as no surprise that Erotic Joe has not changed his name. Congrats on the son from everyone here at ED.
See people, if you ever get laid and can prove it we here at ED will throw a celebratory congrats your way.
All hail Erotic Joe, King of the nerds and the only interesting person on the internet.
Hope For The Future
We can only hope that 99% ofShinra Online will do the polite thing and apologize to the internet by committing mass suicide because the site has devolved down to a half-assed circle jerk of between 3 to 6 members where all they do is say "Boo" to each other once a day and then go around liking each other's post. With their death so imminent, if they had any love for themselves and others, they would imitate one of their favorite Japanese movies by going to a subway, taking hands and jumping in front of a train en masse ensuring that they finally earn the respect of their parents and the internet because the only time anyone ever loved or respected a fag was in an eulogy.
Notable Figures
This should be in the singular, Figure, because this site is the equivilant of using black paint on a black background, so no one really stands out. Having faith in humanity, I like to think that at least one more of them can achieve a shade of gray and gain notice.
- Erotic Joe. Even though he might be a 31 year old basement dwelling, bass playing French-Canadian canuck that doesn't bathe or wear deodorant he is still cooler than you. Half of his life revolves around trying to convince people that Lover Boy wasn't an accident -he claims that there is still a strong desire for pseudo Canadian metal. The other half of his life revolves around trying to fuck your Mama. He has his Mother convinced that the Canadian economy keeps him from finding a place of his own so that he can commit 100% of his wages, About $42,000 a year in Canadian currency or $22 American, to the pussy. Quite sucessful in this area, he should be crowned King of the nerds because he known across different sites as being a real stud. If there is any doubt about his conquests, he will prove it with pictures. Some arguments revolve around the idea that the amount of money that he invests in wining and dining these women to get them to spread their legs constitutes prostitution. In fact, if you're clever in how you approach him with this idea you can cause an argument with him that is good for the lulz.
Now for the connoisseur of the lulz, the best lulz comes from observing him and his serious conversations about sex. In one famous conversation, a Homosexual member of Shinra Online asked the board if it was wrong or Incestious for him to have a crush on a gay cousin and if it would be wrong for him to proposition this cousin. Because, Erotic Joe said, homesexuality is not about producing offspring and more about using the embrace of sex to show love to one-another, there would be nothing wrong with it and that this user should approach his cousin for the butt secks
—President Obama, regarding his first meeting with Erotic Joe. | ||
- Solidus Obscura/Robert Tracey. Is, maybe, worthy of a mention - but not because he bought an Asian prostitute that was willing to take his v-card and let him climb on top of her to grunt and sweat for what was probably the longest 3 minutes in her whole whoring life, but more so for the fact that when the humping was done, Robert made her stay and play Yu-Gi-Oh until the hour he paid for was up. A fact that he bragged about thinking it was going to earn him enough nerd points to win the internet. Some are willing to note that his faggotry and secret boy lust motivated Robert to start Seto-Kaiba.com as a pedo-tool to draw in the awkward, friendless, assburgers, nerd poker playing preteens that he desired. For the most part, it's a lot like him, an utterly worthless and completely forgettable pile of shit that has disappeared from the internet.
See Also
- weeaboos
- Batshit crazy
- Faggots
- Pedophile
- Jews
- Australian Faggotry
- Shit
- Garbage
- Fanboys
- Dying Alone
- Seto-Kaiba.com
External links
- Loverboy
- What constitutes musice to Shinra Online
- Another bad music choice from Shinra If it was in an anime, it's all of a sudden good to them.
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Shinra Online is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |