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User:Umkemesik/Sandbox
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Hey! | This article isn't lulz just yet, but its coverage can spark a lollercoaster. You can help by reverting people who delete shit, and vandalizing their user pages. See this article on Google? Want to add something? Join us! |
Robinhood Markets, Inc. is an American (((financial services company))) headquartered in Menlo Park, California. Robinhood is a scam, in league with the U.S. Scam and Insider Trading Commission, and is also a member of the illuminati. The company's revenue comes from three main sources: selling retards' information so hedgies can bet against them (a practice for which SEC opened a probe into the company in September 2020), investments from Melvin/Citadel, and margin lending.
OMFG ROBIN HOOD IS A SCAM SELLING RETARDS' DATA TO HEDGIES
Despite knowing for a while that Robinhood was a scam that had been set up to harvest "retail investor data" to hedge funds, so the hedge funds can bet against their own users, retards (yes, that's what they call themselves) kept using Robinhood instead of other options like Fidelity and Webull. This would lead in part to the GameStop short squeeze.
GME TO THE MOON
Sometime Last Thursday, Reddit users on r/WallStreetBets ("WSB") decided to troll Wall Street Billionaires in such a way to put Battletoads to shame.
How? By kicking the sad saps that were milking them and drinking their blood:
1. Buy a shitload of Gamestop, AMC, and other under-performing stocks.
2. Thereby screwing the short bets that these stocks would dive, and causing about 70 Billion USA Dollars from whale investors and hedgies to evaporate.
3. ????
4. PROFIT
What resulted was massive butthurt from Companies that owned a piece of Robinhood. So what did Robinhood do? Limit trading to only selling, thereby limiting their Jew-y Masters' losses.
But the fight is not over. By using collective powers of autism, retards of Reddit shall pump those stocks to the moon...and sell them only when the hedgies switch their bets to the long term.
With apologies to Balzac
Still confused about how short sales work? Please see this tutorial:
Companies |
AdFly • Adobe • Amazon • Apple • AT&T • BDIC • Bell • Bitcoin • Burger King • Celestial Toystore • Comcast • Costco • Disney • DuckDuckGo • eBay • Ethereum • Fox News • GNWT • Google • Happy Madison Productions • IBM • IKEA • Microsoft • McDonald's • MTV • New Media Rockstars • Nintendo • Novell • Oracle Corporation • Patreon • PayPal • Sony • Sun Microsystems • T-Mobile • Verizon • Viacom • Wal-Mart • Wikia • Yahoo • YouTube | |
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People |
Bernie Madoff • Bill Gates • Chad Hurley • Gregory Kohs • Hal Turner • Jews • Jimbo Wales • Klaus Schwab • L. Ron Jeremy • Larry Sanger • Lyor Cohen • Mario Laudicina • Martin Shkreli • Steve Chen • Steve Jobs | |
Ideology / Politics |
Austerity • Bailout Plan • Capitalism • Communism • Globalisation • Government • Gun control • Health Care Rage • Iceslave • Judaism • Karl Marx • Obamacare • Ron Paul • Ayn Rand • Randroid • Socialist • Ronald Reagan • Welfare • Zeitgeist Movement • Zeitgeist - The Movie | |
Selling |
Advertising • Bitcoin • Bribery • Extreme Advertising • Billy Mays • Porn Advertisements • Shamwow • Spam • Subservient Chicken • Winnebago Man • George Zimmer | |
Topics |
419 Nigerian Email Scams • The Dot.Com Bubble • Economist • Economy • Foreign Girlfriend • Internet money • Jew Gold • Money • NFTs • Poor • Profit • Rape dollars • Scientology • Toilet Paper Hoarding • Unlimited disposable income |
Featured article January 30 and 31 through February 1, 2021 | ||
Preceded by Sitting Bernie |
Robinhood | Succeeded by QAnon |