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Arborphilia

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Arborphilia or dendrophilia is sexual attraction to trees, often leading to sexual intercourse, often referred to among deviants as "going green". This includes attraction to both gymnosperms and angiosperms. Some arborphiles are also attracted to bryophytes; however, this symptom is less frequent. Oftentimes, an arborphile will claim saplings as his or her own offspring. Arborphiles gave rise to the phrase "morning wood", and can be observed in their natural habitat of national parks during nocturnal flights of fancy. Arborphilia is among the most conclusive evidence of rule 34.

MONGO fucks a tree
MONGO contracts VD from 'hugging' a tree
Oooh so sexy!
This delicate palm puts out on the first date.
Prospective arborphiliacs having a voyeuristic moment
The rare female arborphile.

Dendrophilia

Arborphilia is also known as dendrophilia, which some argue is the more correct term as it does not pervert the language by mixing Latin and Greek as dendrophiliacs don't like perversion. However, those who self-identify themselves as arborphiliacs believe the mixture of Latin and Greek is symbolic of their human/tree romance. The battle of terminology has been fought for eons.

Tree Huggers

Many hippies, in the guise of environmentalism, have embraced the term "tree hugger" as an empowering term just as gays reclaimed the epithet "queer". These tree huggers have even gone so far to protect their lovers that they camp in the branches of the trees while loggers with chainsaws threaten to cut it down. Ironically, these dirty vegans often eat granola because it tastes like tree bark - you'd expect these vegetable lovers to eat lots of meat instead of their dead lovers.

Famous Arborphiles

Links

  arborphilia

"This man's sex life consists only of arborphiles."

 

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Arborphilia is part of a series on Psychology
  Mental illness & Disorders

Acrotomophilia • Addiction • Agoraphobia • Alcoholism • Alexis Pilkington Syndrome • Alzheimer's • Anorexia • Antisocial personality disorder • Anthropophobia • Anxiety • ADD • ADHD • Asperger's Syndrome • Autism • Bimbofication • Bipolar • Borderline personality disorder • Bug Chasing • Bulimia • Cognitive dissonance • Deep thinker • Depression • Dick Impalement • Down's Syndrome • Dyslexia • Eating disorder • Factitious disorder • Fake Schizophrenia • Fauxlimia • Feminism • Gender dysphoria • Girl on the Internet Syndrome • Heterophobia • Hero Complex • HFA • Histrionic Personality Disorder • Hutchence's Syndrome • Hyperbolimia • Inadequacy • Inconsistent personality disorder • Insanity • Liberal Butthurt Syndrome • Liberalism • Low Self-esteem • 'Missing White Woman' Syndrome • Multiple personality disorder • Napoleon Complex • Narcissistic personality disorder • Neurotypical • Obsessive Compulsive Disorder • Paranoia • Paranoid personality disorder • Peter Pan Syndrome • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder • Psychopathy • Pyromania • Retardation • Schizophrenia • Seasonal Affective Disorder • Self-diagnosis • Self Injury • Sexsomnia • Sickfuckery • Sociopathy • Social anxiety disorder • Special Snowflake Syndrome • Terminological percipience disorder • Trolling Induced Transsexuality Syndrome • Tulpa • Unrealistic expectations • Victim complex

Fetishes:

Acrotomophilia • Aquaphilia • Arborphilia • Audiophilia • Autogynephilia • Balloon Fetish • Bestiality • Carmen Electra complex • Cross Dressing • Dollfilia • Emetophilia • Emosexuality • Eproctophilia • Fatty Fetish (Female Fat Admirer) • Fetishism • Foot Fetish • Furniture Porn • Furrism • Goo girl • Guro • Heterophilia • Homophilia • Inflation Fetish • Japanophilia • Jungle Fever • Lesbian pedophilia • Lotion Play • Macrophilia • Maiesiophilia • Mechanophilia • Mpreg • Necrophilia • Objectophilia • Oedipial Complex • Paraphilia • Pedophilia • Plushophilia • Pregnant Loli • Pregnophilia • Quicksand Fetish • Rangerphilia • Spectrophilia • Statuephilia • Trichophilia • Voraphilia • Wet and Messy Fetishism • Wetlook • Xenophilia • Yellow fever • Zoophilia

E-Psychosis:

Chronic Troll Syndrome • Deletionism • E-go • E-Psychiatrist • E-Psychiatry • ETD • Hivemind • I-Dosing • I have a 140 IQ • IRC Disease • Imaginary girlfriend • Internet Disease & Internet Disease Chart • Internet poverty delusions • Internet Rehab • Internet troll personality disorder • Mega ultra super genius • Nerdy Fandom Gateway Theory • Sex by association • Lulz-Blindness • Wikipedia's Greatest Hits Diseases

Experiments:

ask.fm • Brainwashing • Hypnosis • Milgram Experiment • Scientology • Stanford Prison Experiment • The Hivemind Corollary

Sites:

Above Top Secret • B/ • Bodies Under Siege • CYOC • Chatroulette • Defense Industries Organization • Deeker • FoolQuest.com • InkBunny • Neuticles.com • Psyke.org • WarpMyMind.com

See also:

American Psychiatric Association • Anger • ASMR • Child abuse • Conscience • Dreams • DSM • Elan School • Enlightenment • Intelligence • Lobotomy • Mary Bell • Psychiatristy • Serial Killers • Take the meat bridge • The Law of Conformity • Trigger Warning

 
Arborphilia
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