Argent Dawn (EU)
| Type | World of Warcraft Roleplay Server |
| Founded | 2005 |
| Location | Who the fuck knows? |
| Key people | Nath, Amarae, Jhenevieve and other great people of the server. |
| Motto | You live, you play on THIS shitty server, and THEN you fucking die |
| Industry | Production of troll bait |
| Products | USI, 13 year old boys and oldfags |
| Website | [1] |
—Anonymous member of the server that has realised he went into a fucking trap by joining this server | ||
Argent Dawn EU, also known as AD, is a European World of Warcraft roleplay community filled with more or less only and completely with 13 year old boys and oldfags. Although it is labeled as a roleplay server, it's a fucking noob fest every day. Every player here strives to become the best internet tough guy on the server, which they prove by roleplaying a generic passive-aggressive prick with courteous and insulting roleplaying techiques that they pass over to other newfags that ruin what roleplay should be in the first place.
—A member of AD, Dorym. He wasn't very pleased that a woman came and interrupted his conversation with someone else. | ||
How to become a Argent Dawn e-thug
History
Like all the other servers of the European World of Warcraft, it was launched at their release date in Europe, 11th February 2005. At this early stage, it is less likely that people got seriously involved with online roleplay. Not too many people knew what the fuck roleplay was at all, but that changed around a year after the release. A sexually insecure player with the online handle of Amarae made her first appearances into the roleplaying part of the server, while everyone else was too busy owning internet dragons and shit. She eventually joined a guild called the Stormguards, and that's how one of the big and most influential guilds got their mindpower on players who one by one came across the roleplaying phenomena. From THAT fucking day on, the server was slowly about to be a fucking shitplace to be in, mostly because she eventually took leadership of that guild.
Eventually, another influential player got his hands on what roleplay would be, Nath. Nath had just finished servicing his duty as a recruiting Sergeant in the Norwegian army, and decided to find a new hobby. He formed a guild called Stormwind City Watch, which was basically a police guild, but a very dysfunctional one. It was a great guild which was really hard to get into, and that alone placed a statement to what roleplay was to their eyes. They basically went around and fucked people who fucked with them, mostly with the help of the 'Book of Laws' that Nath himself had written. It was kinda like a bible to the server in characterly. What people could do and what they couldn't. You fucked with them, well. You would most likely log off and imagine how pissed their expression would eventually be, but that's another story.
Somewhere around 2010, that's when the party and the good times were over. Most of the good people who joined from the very first moment, left. And with the 'death' of these good roleplayers, bad ones were born. 13-year-old-boys who finally was permitted by mommy and daddy to play World of Warcraft, got their jewhands on their first gamecard. From this day on, hell was bound to break. No more mature people to play with anymore. This, was a fucking kindergarten now.
People often used their size-growing elixirs and potions to become fucking big and hop on their mounts to troll the fuck out of people by standing in the middle of massive crowds, some got into roleplaying guilds and stole all their shit from their guildbanks, but what takes the cake... Is the fact that even more people with USI came along. Great. Just fucking great. Time passed, even more 13-year-old-boys came, and even more players left to other games. Maybe it was for the best, these fucking retards would probably finally have a chance to get a real life.
Goldshire
EVERYONE knows that unless you're a fat piece of shit who can't get a real girl, and needs to get some pixel pussy, Goldshire is definately the place for you. Very often, you'd see female night elves/draeneis/humans in their tight Vinter Veil costume they got after doing quests during christmas time. Give them a few gold coins, and they'll make you get an extra box of tissues. They'll fuck for a buck, do something strange for a piece of change, and you'll definately make them holler for a dollar. If your mind already isn't devoured with the biggest tragedic shit this place reeks the fuck of, you must never, and I mean NEVER go there. Even if a quest leads to that place. It's Blizzard fucking with you, alright? They want to make your life even worse. Don't do it. The quest rewards isn't fucking worth it.
Also known to be the home of heavy RP'ers that denounce ERP on the forums publicly to save face, and then log into their goldshire alts in the evening. Goldshire is the powerhouse of hypocrisy and closet faggots. Populated exclusively by Royal Court and Mardenholde Dawn members, Goldshire is a vibrant place os ass-grabbery, pole smoking and double standards. Kind of like the Official AD Forums
AD's shit gets even better
Sometime last Thursday, AD's shadow got somewhat more illuminated with the birth of a new guild, DEFNDERS OF HEV RP. These guys were basically raiders who saw themselves tired of their old internet hobbies and decided to make a guild to solely troll the shit out of people. Their headquarters is located in the fine corner of Stormwind, in Goldshire. Here is their recruitment video made by their leader, Shikoradoro.
Guilds
Below is a list of guilds that have made progress, or the ones who ruined the progress of the server. Fucking idiots.
The Stormguard
Basically made a living by powergaming their asses out of every uncomfortable situation and get away with it, hire retards with equal morale fiber and roleplaying skills of a carrot and basically being douchebags in general. Lead by the transsexual, powerhungry gamergirl Amarae. In 2012, The Stormguards quit the game after it was charged with Pandas and shit in Blizzard's newest expansion, and Amarae moved her guild to Guild Wars 2. Members who didn't join Guild Wars 2 with their guild left it and joined other guilds. Good fucking riddance, pandabears!
Stormwind City Watch
Used to set an example to what roleplay should be, and how hard a guild like this should be to gain admission to. Eventually as retards assumed leadership and with the constant immigration of 13-year-old-boys, they slowly ripped their quality to shit and used it like toilet paper, and threw them into the Maelstrom caused by said people. Today, they feed their attention sickness by trolling people on Argent Dawn's facebook page and live out their new position as the lowest form of earth. Below is their poorly made recruitment video. A kid suffering from the heaviest form of authism could've made a better video than that.
DEFNDERS OF HEV RP
Basically a troll guild who recieve hard-ons by trolling as many players possible. Led by their leader Shikoradoro in his bad 'roleplay' gear, with his comrades Mythrios, Philippson and Röman/Romandoro, he and his guild sets out to be one of the biggest trolls on the server as of 2012. They enjoy their alliance with Gardson and GUARDS OF ELWYN FORST, leading crusades against ERPers, heavy roleplayers, brave warriors guarding female players hanging in Goldshire, those who diss their preferred language, or basically anyone who be hatin' on them. They're also notable for creating most useless useful threads in AD section in forums of which won't be appreciated by anyone including you, their threads is usually doomed to get deleted. If you see an ongoing flamewar in Trade Chat or General Chat, it's likely started by one of them because of stating a very important fact or spaekign bad Egnlish.
Last Thursday, the darkness that is Argent Dawn was enlightened by a second YouTube channel. This proud devoted follower of Shikoradoro seems to have had convinced the real world celebrities to support their crusade of lulz and douchebaggery.
The Royal Court
A bunch of professional roleplayers. They go around with their fancy roleplay gear and titles, but they really don't know how to roleplay for shit. They can randomly come up to your face and attempt to prosecute you for bullshit they made up right there on the spot, and if you don't do as they say, they will cry themselves to sleep. They assume they're a very important asset of the server.
Bane
(The!!!!!111) Bane is a guild that got born probably after the WotLK expansion, the sanctuary guild haven for more 13-year-old-boys. Led by a fucking faggot named Vaxir that is turned on by inhabiting the persona of a female elven juggernaut with a penis, this was (or used to be) one of the guilds that doomed havoc and destruction against anyone entering their path, basically they're one of the thousands of individuals that fight for the throne to become the best and biggest internet tough guy. They really like to use poweremotes where they gas people to death with unholy blight, or do the good 'ol fashioned way; to stab you in the back with their super ninja powers. They must always be respected and honored if you see them. << fuck no
Cabal IX
A clusterfuck of purple prose and 13-year-old-boys who can't keep it in their pants and feel the need to touch everybody they meet. The guild is lead by some fel oozing, flaming, smoking, 'hhhhhhhhhhhhh' oh my fucking god fel gurgling over-grown elf on growth pots that rapes the English thesaurus and lore as much as he does his 'slender organizms and members', basically some fetish Goldshire character that makes no sense even if you tried hard. It's all about the sexual molestation and rape of the members and the people they catch and flaunting their ub0r dominance and fucked fetishes of stuffing blackened organs inside people, and claim to be professional hev rp.
Argent Archives
Nath, or Alabast (he has multiple characters, obviously) got the brilliant idea to found The Argent Archives. It is basically the 'facebook' version of Argent Dawn Europe, where people can create pages of their own to represent individuals, guilds, post events, stories and even make diaries for the public to see. The website is hosted by Alabast himself on his shit webserver. The website lives it's own life by frequently being slow as fuck, goes down from time to time just because Alabast can't be bothered to get a decent fucking server. You can visit the website here. You're warned though, you might spend a long time loading his piece of shit website.
Notable Members
Being a community that turned to shit, here is one of the most notable persons contributing to it. Or have at least fucked up some way. Or not.
|
The Grand Master Retards | ||||||
| Amarae | Jhenevieve | Sallien | Hamfist | Solexion | Cerulla | Eragorn |
Amarae is the leader of the Stormguard. You would most often see her in her golden attire of golden armor from back in the days when level 60 PvP was the shit. She lacks moral fiber, loves to control people and have her way. Like a fucking bitch. In 2012, she was very sad because a raid spread around a picture of herself, which she was trying to hide. From this day on, people have been spamming to her face: "I'M GONNA JERK OFF TO THAT PICTURE OF YOURS TONIGHT, AND YOU CAN'T DO SHIT ABOUT IT, BITCH."
Jhenevieve is also, of course, a Brit. She eventually, after a while took over as the Stormwind City Watch captain, by sealing her spot as the boss of the biggest law enforcement guild on the server by firing the good guys, and hiring her best and closest friends to become the top officers along with her in the guild. But being the fucktard that she is, she alone succeeded to drive the whole fucking guild to shit. Now, the guild is as dead as fucking dead. The current captain comes and goes, but he's almost as big retard as what Jhenevieve is.
Sallien is another fucking Brit (Seems like the whole server consists of fucking brits). But this time, this is a DUDE. A fat dude. Really fat. He looks like he has Down's Syndrome. He succeeds the stereotypic fat loser guy who plays a girl on a video game, genius. He was a member of the Stormwind City Watch, and also secretly in love with Jhenevieve IRL. See, the thing is.. His chance of getting laid is like his Ferrari. He doesn't fucking have one.
Hamfist is a person who inhibits the exquisite art of trolling. This guy has a fucking black belt in it. People often refer to him as 'the fucking crazy gnome', but are often undisturbed by him. If you ever meet him, you must always grab a hold of him and throw him 300 yards out of a window, because he'll fucking agree to it.
Solexion is also one of AD's famous trolls that dresses up like a bunny with a purple dress and bunny ears and always drinks his "Potion of Giant Growth" and rides his War Mammoth to make people very unhappy with him. The gamemasters was fed up with people reporting him all the time, so they decided that his regime as the "Trolling Stones King" was to be banned, and so he was.
Cerulla is a mentally ill italian dude who plays a female elf and claims to be the queen of all azeroth. unfortunately this fucking moron actually managed to get a group of followers and become one of the most well known lollers on AD. He's the kind of guy if you see IRL you'd cross the street just to avoid his fucking smell.
See Also
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Argent Dawn (EU) is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |
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Argent Dawn (EU) is part of a series on MMORPGs. | [Ding!] |
