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The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch
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STEP THE FUCK OFF! The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch looks like shit but it is NOT a {{crapstub}}. It is a work in progress! If you require assistance beefing up this article, then hit up the experts on our IRC.
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This article is paid for by taxpayers like you. Thanks, America. |
The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch is an alpaca ranch ran by trannies located in Westcliffe, Colorado in an attempt to create an IRL safe space away from dirty cis scum heterosexuals. These gun-toting anarchist trannies have been harassing their neighbors since 2019. As of January 2022, there are thirteen tranny ranchers, 200 alpacas, some chickens, and a couple depressed looking dogs. The idea of the Tenacious Unicorn Ranch is the woke journalist's wet dream. Thus, it is the subject of various fluff pieces depicting them as God's gift to animals. In reality, the alpacas live in a tiny tin shed and have their fur sheared BEFORE winter, resulting in them freezing to death.
Raising alpacas for their fur is not a lucrative venture at all, so these anti-government "anarchists" are living off tax deductions and money they raise on endless GoFundMe fundraisers. The Troon Squad has been unable to run a profitable business even after being handed $110,000 on a silver platter by antifa allies. It turns out ranching is a science and some bumbling troons can't just buy land and guess how to raise livestock. The rancheros have no idea what they're doing so they pretend to be a non-profit to scam ignorant people so they can afford HRT instead of actually being self-sufficient.
When the ranchers aren't neglecting their livestock, they like to spend their time crying on Twitter about "Nazi Trump supporters" that "threaten them" and makeup stories about a guy named Earl killing the alpacas. The troon squad protects itself from the mean right-wingers by calling them out on Facebook. Those fascists are surely shaking in their boots now!
Jews disembark cattle car after arriving at Auschwitz-Birkenau footage (Enhanced and Colorized, 1943)
Previous Video | Next Video
Notable Ranchers
| The Current Cast | |
|---|---|
| Penelope | Phillip Matthew Logue is the founder of the ranch and the leader of the troon goons who goes by Penny. He was ass-raped as a child (no surprise) and now copes by larping with other non-passing trannies at his ranch. He used to be in the Army and fathered two children, one of whom he tried to troon out at the tender age of 4. Phil acts like an Internet Tough Guy and has literally said "If you want to come shoot at me, shoot at me" but if anyone as much as comes close to his property, he becomes a professional victim. |
| Kathryn | Kevin Gibes is Christian Weston Chandler on HRT and the fan favorite among Kiwi Farmers. He is Penny's BDSM slave that never does any physical work despite living on a ranch. Kevin generally spends his days rambling on Twitter about his neo-vagina and begging for money to pay his bills while spending his stimulus checks on toys. He has admitted to only washing his hair every month and Kevin is also a furry because of course he is. |
| Jen | Jen AKA Micheal is a stunning and brave coprophile trans woman. His shit eating adventures were outted on SomethingAwful |
| Sky | The battered (wife?) of Bonnie, an ex-rancher. Bonnie ran off with Kindness, a biological woman to obtain some grade-A, true and honest pussy instead of a rotting flesh hole. |
| Previous Members | |
|---|---|
| Bonnie | Bonnie, Deadname: Paul Alexander Mendoza, is a spic from Peru and co-owner of the ranch (under his mother's name of course). Like Penny, he also trooned out as a coping mechanism from childhood trauma due to being molested by his father. Bonnie is a huge misogynist despite being a trans-woman. He describes real women as "catty and too worried about aesthetics" which is Spanish for "not willing to indulge in the delusions of an ugly looking man dressed as a woman". Bonnie was married to a guy named Sky until he ran away with a batshit insane female to male troon named Kindness that he met at a furry convention. He loves to bitch about the government despite receiving disability buxx and food stamps from it. He pretends to have Multiple personality disorder like his girlfriend, Kindness. |
| Kindness | Alyssa Jo Frauens is an absolute basketcase who collects rats. She was kicked off the ranch after being there for a week for having a massive meltdown when someone questioned her self-diagnosed multiple personality disorder. She is a female to male tranny dating male to female tranny Bonnie, a relationship so queer, it's straight. Alyssa is currently a professional dog-sitter while Bonnie leeches off of her. She even has her own Kiwi Farms thread! |
| October Evans | So annoying, the other ranchers were told to "shoot on site" if spotted near the property. |
| Salina Grey | 40 year old who abandoned his wife and four kids to neglect alpacas and have degenerate BDSM sex with Kevin of all people. |
| Hailey | Affectionately called Wedge due to his small yet shapely triangular penis and lack of balls (literally), he is another one of Kevin's "girlfriends". The only one who has any real income without e-begging from his OnlyFans and camming hustle. |
Jonestown 2
Reverand Jim Jones Penny Logue's little compound has quite a few cult-like qualities to it. The criteria listed in ED's own Cult article is met to a T.
- The leader demands lots of sex and/or money - Phil has 2 sex slaves that we know of
- The leader and members get butthurt if you start asking too many questions - See what happens if you question the welfare of the alpacas freezing in the snow.
- They try to convince you that everyone else is evil and out to get you - Those fascist right-wingers are out to get us!!1!!
- They can't express their beliefs without using a ton of gibberish - The rancheros cry on social media more than they do actual ranching.
- They try to shut down or destroy anyone who criticizes them or makes lulz at their expense - DO NOT ask how they can never manage to properly budget their money. You WILL be blocked on Twitter.
- They threaten to permaban their enemies from IRL - One reason their neighbors don't like them is because they always threatening violence.
- They permaban themselves from IRL - TBA.
They even have a scapegoat: heterosexuals
Gallery
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The Troon Squad -
The fertile soils of the Tenacious Unicorn Ranch -
Yeah, the alpacas freeze to death sometimes XD -
The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch compared to their neighbor's land
See Also
- Waco - Tranny Ruby Ridge when?????
External Links
Twatter
Go ahead, read the Kiwi Farms thread. It will only take you 2-3 weeks.- Official Website
- Etsy
- How 2 Raise Alpacas Site these retards obviously never read
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The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch is part of a series on Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
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The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch is part of a series on Visit the Social Justice Portal for complete coverage. |