Baldi's Basics

Baldi's Basics in Education and Learning is a kewl new indie edutainment game by mystman12 (Powerword: Micah McGonigal) that is essentially the unholy bastard child of Five Nights at Freddy's, Slender: The Eight Pages, Undertale and Doki Doki Literature Club. Despite being marketed as a "horror" game, the only things that are actually horrific about the game are its atrocious Windows 95 graphics and the fact that numerous Let's Plays by faggy YouTube attention whores such as PooDiePie, Shartiplier, and JackassSeptictankEye have helped make this absolute trash of a game into the most autistic fad to hit the internet since Ugandan Knuckles. The game is also notable for being developed in 2 hours in MS Paint.

The game's sorry excuse for a "plot" revolves around attempting to locate 7 notebooks and answer 3rd grade math problems while your teacher—the titular Baldi—chases you around the school and attempts to anally rape you with a wooden ruler should you answer any of his questions wrong. Because your shitty computer is still fucked up due to Monika, after answering five of Baldi's questions the game glitches out and gives you a garbled mass of Zalgo text that forces you to fail and submit to a brutal raping from Baldi.

autistman12

Micah McGonigal, the retard who shat out this garbage on an unsuspecting internet.

Micah McGonigal is an autistic teenage Christian from Virginia who enjoys watching Phineas and Ferb reruns and thinks that being random and stupid is funny.

The Game

	“	Be warned, it's really bad.	„
	—Micah McGonigal, on his shitty game (archive)

The "Characters"

Baldi

A teacher who enjoys beating his most autistic student with a ruler.

Playtime

An annoying little MS Paint cunt who forces you to play jump rope and deserves to die in a school shooting.

Principal of the Thing

No running in the halls. No gay sex in the halls. No redeeming qualities in my game in the halls. No writing Encyclopedia Dramatica articles in the halls. No autism in the halls.

Gotta Sweep

A haunted broom that's possessed by the vengeful spirit of Fat Albert.

1st Prize

Stephen Hawking knock off, except with a desire to love on the player.

Arts and Crafters

Literally a fucking sockpuppet.

It's a Bully

This is a bully. No, really, that's what it says next to him.

Filename2

Not entirely a character, but he appears in an alternate ending after you fail all the answers. He orders you to destroy the game in despair... and fucked up glitching.

Kickstarter

You heard right. Letting the fame of his shit "meme" game get to his head, the fucker made a Kickstarter for making Baldi into a FULL game. The price? He wanted $50k; yes, $50,000 for a full MS paint "well put together" Baldi game. Release a boring demo where your just going on a camping field trip with Baldi into the woods to go pick up some wood for a fire.

While most people with a brain can see how fucking stupid this is to ask for so much for a game(done in 24 hours for some game jam event and a Slenderman ripoff) that got a small cancer following; most(like some ytuber nobody John Wolfe to even Kiwi Farms and many more) are defending this piece of shit funding thinking that this game was oh so "good" that the creator should make a full game out of it. If this shit gets funded, hope they'll ready for a long release, half assed game to be given to them.