- Portals
- The Current Year
- ED in the News
- Admins
- Help ED Rebuild
- Archive
- ED Bookmarklet
- Donate Bitcoin
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.
Garrett Simmers
 |
This article has been cleaned up, and it was a trip to hell and back. Please, don't fuck it up. |
|
Garrett Simmers looks like it was written by pseudo-intellectual 13-year-old boys. Look out for unfunny Uncyclopedia bullshit, boring in-jokes, and angsty teen-ery. You could also add in actual humor.
|
|
This person has Assburgers Syndrome, so you can't say anything bad! :-( Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck. |
Garrehandro (Powerword: Garrett Douglas Simmers) is your typical 17 year old playing the Internet Tough Guy that originally joined on YouTube in 2013. He is just a basement dwelling 17 year old fatass that goes on his computer and fucks with people just for his own enjoyment.
| |
|---|---|
| Gabby Shitters | |
| Born | February 3, 2004 |
| Nationality | Americunt 
|
| Residence | South Carolina |
| Ethnicity | White devil |
| Gender | Male |
| Sexuality | Pansexual |
| Aliases | GarrettComedian Garrett Simmers TheGarrettMaster11 JuniorWaffle Garrett16074 13OhFourG Garrehandro |
| Occupation | Trolling random people online for literally no reason |
YouTube past
In 2013, when Garrett had an obsession of Vyond, he decided to go to YouTube to spread his Go!Faggotry to others so that they can do the same. People left hate comments on his channel and like the blank minded faggot he is, he started to go to the channels of the users that left hate comments, started being retarded and made pointless videos out of them. He also steals content from other users and turns it worse than what it should have been. After many months of hate comments, Garrett decided to be like Chris-Chan and close his account to avoid more hate comments, but he usually comes back to do the same type of mullarkey that he usually does. But unfortunately, it doesn't end there.
The "Feud"
One faithful day in the world of YouTube, a YouTuber named Jose Hernandez (referred well by his moniker Daxter5150) was busy at making some videos he had planned until Garrett, like a dumbass, decided that it would be a good idea to talk shit about someone that is more famous than him and make him a total badass. So then he started talking shit about Dax on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Skype, and YouTube, and that led Dax to respond with making a video called How to Play Guitar like Garrett Simmers, a parody of a video Garrett made in August 2013 depicting Garrett playing the guitar in an effort to "torture" Warren Cook, a retarded 11-year old Pinoy kid who made fan-made VHS openings for his own entertainment in which he got criticized badly for it.
The video received critical reception, but when Garrett watched the video, he got so angry at the fact, that he went from retard to full-on Chris-Chan Mode and decided to go start an all-out war with him, and Daxter had said that the war would never end after what Garrett has done, or until they have to go to school and play Pokemon. This feud started out in May 2014, however by 2018, it appeared to have cooled off.
At one point in 2015/2016, during one of Gabby's autistic sessions with other lulcows, he almost managed to get Dax killed in a car crash by spamming his notifications on Skype while he was driving when he forgot to put his phone on silent. This resulted in Dax looking at his phone, and getting into a deadly car crash that resulted in a visit to the hospital. Eventually other people found out about the incident and turned against Gabby for months thanks to this. However they eventually forgot about it and decided to get back with him. Rumor has it that Dax is still not over this incident.
The Taylor Conundrum
Not too long ago, Garrett had a enemy of him named "Taylor The Hayniac VGCP". This girl was involved in a fight Garrett started with one of her known friends. She attempted to stand up for her friend and tried to keep him from making fun of him and/or harassing him. Since having only an IQ of Chris-Chan's, he became a total pussy and decided to block Taylor, which in turn then led to a war between Garrett and Taylor's fanboys/fangirls over Garrett blocking a girl on the internet, and it has become the most silliest war of 2014 that would have resulted from letting your 10 year old son on the internet.
On February 19, 2015, Taylor even started an awesome hashtag called 
#GarrettUnblockTaylor which caused a giant movement against Garrett and have a shit ton of comments up his ass to the point where Garrett's friends start to defend him, but fails every way it can, growing this "war" to the point of annoyance. And much like the war between him and Dax would, it too eventually cooled off.
The movement that made him popular
After Garrett got trolled even worse than before, his mass army of haters decided to do something to make Garrett butthurt once again, by forcing him to air his body language on the "Garrett Network", but just like the retarded young blob that he is, he refused, piling on more hate and pressure and hate on him. On May 2014, during a Google hangout call, Garrett was crying and screaming while his mom was teaching him body language. Someone under the pseudonym of "Darren Good" decided to record the entire footage of Garrett screaming and crying, and eventually uploaded it onto YouTube. This was met with tons of backlash from some of Garrett's fuckbuddies, however most of Garrett's haters found this footage to be incredibly funny. Once the footage was viewed by Garrett's haters, they started using it for lulzy intent. Sadly, the original footage was BALEETED off the interwebz, however one of Garrett's friends (formerly a hater of his) has a video containing the audio from Garrett's Body Language being streamed on an online radio station.
And then he decided to make the new and improved GBL which looks like total ass.
Ways to make Garrett Butthurt
If you want to make the awesome 11 year old mad and pissed, this is what you only have to do:
-Tell him to "air his body language." -- He will of course, be very pissed, and then start to repeat the same shitty comeback, then say "Body language? OK!" -Pulls middle finger-.
-Tell him that he is a fat kid and he will start making up lies about himself to make himself feel better. -- He'll then starts to call himself skinny
-Make a rant about him. -- He'll make one back and his will be worse than yours.
-Troll one of his friends and make them mad and pissed that Garrett might make shitty YTP's out of you. -- It actually happened before.
-Tell Garrett that his waifu sucks. -- Or don't because he doesn't have a waifu.
And finally....
-If you have Skype, add him to your contacts, make a spam group, then go to town.
TL;DR
Never let your 11 year old kid on the internet. Ever.
External Links
Editor's Note: A lot of the links here were outdated and will be getting replaced at a later time
 |
||
|
|
||
|
Garrett Simmers is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |
|
Garrett Simmers is part of a series on Aspies. | [Sperg out] |