Gary Glitter

Gary has been expecting you.

Gary Glitter's brief tenure as a member of the X-Men.

Gary Glitter is a hilarious British pedophile glam rocker known for hits such as Rock and Roll Part 2, Leader Of The Gang and Do You Wanna Touch, who was convicted of sex offenses twice, once in 1999 for downloading child porn images, and then in 2005 for raping some loli in Vietnam.

Music

Glitter commenced his career in the early 1970's jumping onto the "Glam Rock" bandwagon kickstarted by David Bowie and Marc Bolan. Imagine Elvis Presley drunk and high on LSD stuck inside a disused tinfoil factory and you'll get the picture. Most of Glitter's music consists of shouting COME ON COME ON and HEY repeatedly; along with a number of other similar subtle pedo references. Musically, his oeuvre was accurately parodied by KLF's "Doctorin' the TARDIS". His music never really reached the US, save for the song Rock And Roll Part 2, which is played ad nauseum at American Football events EVERY fucking sporting event (including High School) as Americans are too stupid to come to the realisation that a fucking pedo wrote the song. For some reason people put up with his shit throughout the 1980's and early 90s during which Glitter made numerous appearances on kids shows; he was going to be in the Spice Girls movie however his legal troubles prevented him from doing so. Gary's appearance would have probably won the film an Oscar.

Pedophilia

Being the horny prat he is, Gazza downloaded over 9000 child porn images, some featuring kids as young as two-years old; when his piece of shit computer broke he engaged the services of PC World, a high-street retailer and being the nosey little fucks that they are, they snooped around the drives uncovering this veritable goldmine of kiddy porn. Glitter was eventually found guilty, served his time in jail and said he deeply regretted what he had done intimating a desire to put it all behind him. In order to rehabilite himself the crusty old pedo went to various places including Cuba, Spain and eventually Vietnam. Being one of the easiest places to facilitate underage-sex on the planet Glitter was clearly asking for trouble and some argue that he should have given up while he was ahead. In 2005 the papers began going ape shit yet again as the bald old glitterman was touching lolis in Vietnam.

Glitter Explains Himself

In an interview, Gary tried to concoct a half-baked story about the girl he slept with being scared of ghosts and mosquito nets, but only ended up being repeatedly interrupted by a bitchy reporter.

He should have just admitted it and got therapy.

IRL Trolling

British newspaper tabloids including The Sun and the News Of The World, have taken it to the streets trying to catch all the crazy disguises Glitter's donned to avoid being seen; these have ranged from a Rolf Harris style wig and beard to a ginger wig and straw hat. It has been alleged that Gary wears a bear costume to children's parties.

Glamformers: Pedo In Disguise

Gary can't just go for the usual trenchcoat and sunglasses to stay in disguise, he was always known for his crazy costumes in his day, so why not spice things up a bit for the paparazzi?

Top Left: Pre 2001 Glitter in his typical nigra wig.
Top Center: "Jack Nicholson" Glitter.
Top Right: Hillbilly Grandpa Glitter in his striped pyjamas.
Bottom Left: Wise Samurai Glitter with a chav girl's scarf.
Bottom Center: Farmer trying to look cool and leaving the tag on his glasses.
Bottom Right: Uncle Fester with a cork in his ear.

Gallery

Uncle Gary About missing Pics

• 
  Gary In His Prime.
• 
  I just peed my pants... It made my trousers all warm and skwishy...Ooh...It's in my shoes, skwish-skwish.
• 
  Glitter was also known to be a crackhead.
• 
  Gary Glitter makes
  British Rail moist.
• 
  Gary goes out for a Chinese takeaway.
• 
  One of Gary's biggest fans.
• 
  How the mighty have fallen.
• 
  Gary was once considered attractive by young girls, now it's the other way around.

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

• 
  Gary Being v&
• 
  Censored for your protection.
• 
  Gary's rape face.
• 
  Rape face again
• 
  Typical target practice.
• 
  Typical frontpage of British newspaper The Sun.
• 
  Do You Wanna Be In My Gang?
• 
  Did it for the lulz.

See Also

• Jimmy Savile
• Pedobear
• Pedophile
• Roman Polanski
• Swirl Face
• Woody Allen

Links

• Wikipedia:Gary Glitter
• Possibly his official site, it reeks of web 1.0
• Gary Glitter Jokes
• Gary Glitter at IMDB
• Youtube's biggest Gary Glitter Fan, plenty of hilarious vids Suspended

Gary Glitter is part of a series on Music Visit the Music Portal for complete coverage.