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'''Garrehandro ([[Powerword]]: Garrett Douglas Simmers)''' is your typical [[Underage|17 year old]] playing the [[Internet Tough Guy]] that originally joined on [[YouTube]] in 2013. He is just a [[Basement Dweller|basement dwelling]] 17 year old fatass that goes on his computer and fucks with people just for his own enjoyment.
{{redeemed}}
{{ib|[[File:The Fatass agri.PNG|300px]]}}
{{ib|[[File:The Fatass agri.PNG|300px]]}}
{{Ibhead|Gabby Shitters}}
{{Ibhead|Gabby Shitters}}
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{{Ibrow|'''Occupation'''|<small>Trolling random people online for literally no reason</small>}}
{{Ibrow|'''Occupation'''|<small>Trolling random people online for literally no reason</small>}}
{{Ibend}}
{{Ibend}}
'''Garrett Simmmers''' (GarrettComedian2003) is your typical [[Underage|11 year old]] playing the [[Internet Tough Guy]] on [[YouTube]] that joined on 2013, and he thinks that he is the the most [[awesome]] user ever and that he is the [[Dumbass|best Youtuber ever]] and that he is better than everyone when in reality he is just a [[Basement Dweller|basement dwelling]] 10 year old fatass that goes on his computer and jacks off to [[furry|furry pr0nz]]. He also thinks that he has his own [[Copyright Infringement|TV network]] that airs shows that will probably get him sued and [[Kinect|watched by the NSA]] to see him jack off to his [[porn]]. Many of his [[buttbuddies]] include [[Keegan Salisbury]] (keegantheretardedYTPFapper), Matthew Thorp (TheRetardedMT1000), and Cruise (cruiseThePornoMaker) which of course are all of Garrett's sex slaves. He also has a fetish with Atomic Betty, and he keeps on mentioning her over and over like she's his waifu.


==YouTube past==
==YouTube Past==
Mr. Simmers started his YouTube channel in mid-2013, where he started spreading his monstrous obsession with a particularly interesting product known as [[Vyond]] to others so that they could do the same. People left honest criticism on his channel and like the blank-minded fatass he is, started attacking those same users and making [[Caillou|Grounded videos]] out of them. He also [[plagiarism|steals content]] from other YouTubers and claims them as his own while making said stolen content look worse than the original. Many months of hate comments later... Garrett's YouTube got [[Hax|hacked]] by some people and ended up getting [[BAWWWLETED]]. But just like the other overly-sensitive ass-piefag known as [[Sonmanic]] before him, or like a runaway cat *cough* Chris-Chan *cough*, it came back to fucking life. Eventually, he moved on from his YouTube career and stopped making videos. Unfortunately, it doesn't end there...
On 2013, Garrett had an obsession of [[Goanimate]], he decided to go to [[JewTube|YouTube]] to spread his Go!Faggotry to others so that they can do the same. People left hate comments on his channel and like the blank minded he is, he started to go to the channels of the users that left hate comments started being [[Chris-Chan|retarded]] and made pointless videos out of them. He also [[plagiarism|steals content from other users]] and turns it worse that what it should have been. After many months of hate comments, Garrett decided to be like [[Chris-Chan]] and [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|close his account]] to avoid more hate comments, but he usually comes back to do the same type of [[Bullshit|mullarkey]] that he usually does. But unfortunately, it doesn't end there.
 
[[File:Gayrett.png|thumb|alt=Puzzle globe logo|A [[Shooped|photoshopped]] image of Garrett]]
[[File:Gayrett.png|thumb|alt=Puzzle globe logo|REALITY]]


==The "Feud"==
==The "Feud"==
One faithful day in the world of YouTube, A YouTuber named Jose "Dax" Hernandez (known better as a member of the Daxter5150 channel) was busy making some videos until Garrett, like the fat [[dumbass]] he's known for, decided to vent his frustrations on someone who is more [[Jealous|talented]] than him so he can make himself look [[Cunt|intimidating]] and [[Gay|gain]] attention. So then he started harassing Dax on [[Irony|Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Skype, YouTube]], and pretty much any site without a policy against diabeetus. Dax eventually took notice and responded with a video called "How to Play Guitar Like Garrett Simmers", a parody of a video Garrett made in August 2013 where Garrett [[YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG|pulled around on the strings]] of a [[Plastic crap|toy guitar]] from Toys-R-Us in an effort to "torture" [[Jailbait|Warren Cook]] (an 11-year old logo kid who would make fictional VHS openings for his own entertainment and got made fun of badly for it).
One faithful day in the world of YouTube, A YouTuber named Jose Hernandez (referred well by his moniker Daxter5150) was busy at making some videos he had planned until Garrett, like a [[dumbass]], decided that it would be a good idea to talk shit about someone that is [[Jealous|more famous]] than him and make him a total [[Cunt|badass]]. So then he started talking shit to Dax In [[Irony|Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Skype, and YouTube]], and that led Dax to respond with making a video called ''How to Play Guitar like Garrett Simmers'', a parody of a video Garrett made in August 2013 depicting Garrett [[YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG|playing the guitar]] in an effort to "torture" Warren Cook, an 11-year old kid who makes fan-made VHS openings for his own entertainment in which he gets criticized badly for it.


<center><youtube>zjo_zspy1y8</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>zjo_zspy1y8</youtube></center>


Garrett became [[Butthurt|asshurt]] as soon as he saw the video and began flaming Dax, who says that the flame war will never end until Garrett finally decides to go back to school and get off the internets for good. The video itself received [[bad|praise]] from several viewers, and Dax would later go on to make several sequels as Garrett's shit-encrusted ass stands horrified. However, by 2018, things appeared to have cooled off between the two...
The video received [[bad|critical]] reception, but when Garrett watched the video, he got so [[Butthurt|angry]] at the fact, that he went from retard to full-on Chris-Chan Mode and decided to go start an all-out war with him, and Daxter says that the war will never end after what Garrett has done, or until they have to go to school and play Pokemon. This feud started out in May 2014 to onward, as it is still visible to this day.
 
At one point in 2015/2016, during one of Gabby's [[autistic]] sessions with [[Shit no one cares about|other lulcows]], he almost managed to get Dax killed in a car crash by spamming his notifications on Skype while he was driving when he forgot to put his phone on silent. This resulted in Dax looking at his phone and getting into a deadly car crash that resulted in a visit to the hospital. Eventually, other people found out about the incident and turned against Gabby for months thanks to this. Rumor has it that Dax is still not over this incident.


==The Taylor Conundrum==
==The Taylor Conundrum==
Not too long ago, Garrett had a enemy of him named "Taylor The Hayniac VGCP". This [[GOTIS|girl]] was involved in a fight Garrett started with one of her known friends. She attempted to stand up for her friend and tried to keep him from making fun of him and/or harassing him. Since having only an IQ of Chris-Chan's, he became a total [[aspie|pussy]] and decided to block Taylor, which in turn then led to a war between Garrett and [[Fuckbuddies|Taylor's fanboys/fangirls]] over Garrett blocking a girl on the internet, and it has become the most [[retarded|silliest]] war of 2014 that would have resulted from letting your 10 year old son on the internet.
Not too long ago, Garrett had a enemy of him named Taylor, "The Hayniac VGCP" (AKA VideoGameCartoonPolice). This [[GOTIS|girl]] was involved into a fight Garrett started with one of her known friend. She attempted to stand up for her friend and try to keep him for making fun of him and/or harassing him. Since having only an IQ of Chris-Chan's, he became a total [[aspie|pussy]] and decided to block Taylor, which then lead to a war with Garrett vs [[Fuckbuddies|Taylor's fanboys/fangirls]] over Garrett blocking a girl on the internet, and it has become the most [[retarded|silliest]] war of 2014 that only results from letting your 10 year old son on the internet.
 
On February 19, 2015, Taylor even started an [[Stupid|awesome]] hashtag called {{hashtag|GarrettUnblockTaylor}} which caused a [[Diarrhea|giant movement]] against Garrett and have a shit ton of comments up his ass to the point where Garrett's friends start to defend him, but fails every way it can, growing this "war" to the point of annoyance. And much like the war between him and Dax would, it too eventually cooled off.


<center><youtube>xVnJzjSTaSE</youtube></center>
On February 19, 2015, Taylor even started an [[Stupid|awesome]] hashtag called {{hashtag|GarrettUnblockTaylor}} which caused a [[Diarrhea|giant movement]] against Garrett and have a shit ton of comments up his ass to the point where Garrett's friends start to defend him, but fails every way it can, growing this "war" to the point of annoyance.


==The movement that made him [[Internet Celebrity|popular]]==
==The movement that made him [[Internet Celebrity|popular]]==
Several more attacks on Garrett later... His mass army of haters decided to do something to piss off the little crybaby once again, by forcing him to air his body language on his stupid pretend-TV-network [[Shit nobody cares about|"The Garrett Network", apparently now known these days as "GVisions"]], but just like how Garrett is the retarded 11-year-old blob that he was back in the day, he refused, piling on more hate and pressure on him like never before. In May 2014, during an OoVoo call, Garrett was crying and screaming while an ABA therapist was teaching him body language. Someone by the name of "Darran Good" managed to record footage of Garrett panicking and uploaded it for the world to fap to. This was met with backlash from some of Garrett's [[fuckbuddies]], and with lulz by pretty much everyone else. Sadly, the original footage was BALEETED off the interwebz, however, one of Garrett's ex-friends has a video containing the audio from Garrett's Body Language being streamed on an online radio station.
After Garrett got trolled even worse than before, his mass army of haters decided to do something to make Garrett butthurt once again, by forcing him to air his body language on the [[Shit nobody cares about|"Garrett Network"]], but just like how Garrett is the retarded 11 year old blob that he is, he refused, piling on more hate and pressure and hate on him. On May 2014, during a Google hangout call, Garrett was crying and screaming while his mom was teaching him body language. Someone by the name of "Darran Good" decided to record the entire footage of Garrett screaming and crying, and upload it onto YouTube. And then he decided to make the new and [[shit|improved]] GBL which looks like total [[aspie|ass]]. Sadly, the original footage was BALEETED off the interwebz, however, one of Garrett's ex-friends has a video containing the audio from Garrett's Body Language being streamed on an online radio station.


<center><youtube>aZ4D7F9S7V4</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>aZ4D7F9S7V4</youtube></center>
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<center><youtube>zLoJZDJr-C0</youtube></center>
<center><youtube>zLoJZDJr-C0</youtube></center>


==The Infamous Meming Crew==
==Ways to make Garrett Butthurt==
Sometime in 2017, after tons of people turned against him after constantly harassing a former fuckbuddy of his, he decided to start up a [[circlejerk]] known as the "Raiding Crew". Garrett would often use this Discord server to try and fuck over any people that have wronged him.
 
If you want to make the [[Gay|awesome]] 11 year old mad and pissed, this is what you only have to do:
 
-Tell him to "air his body language." -- He will of course, be very pissed, and then start to repeat the same shitty comeback, then say '''''"Body language? OK!" -Pulls middle finger-'''''.
 
-Tell him that he is a fat kid and he will start making up [[lies]] about himself to make himself feel better. -- He'll then starts to call himself [[Lie|skinny]]


One notorious member was [[Keegan Salisbury]], who has his own article. He was eventually caught by police after one of the Raiding Crew's targets put in a tip, and was legally forced to leave the server. Keegan would later go on to abuse his ex-girlfriend in mid-2021, and do lots more dumb shit that looks like it was likely influenced by Garrett, considering how he would do similar shit.
-Make a rant about him. -- He'll make one back and his will be worse than yours.


Many raids later, Rj Kumar (better known by most people as "RjGunner111") managed to get Garrett's old account disabled by Discord, alongside the accounts of many other people who were involved with the Raiding Crew. This led to Garrett starting up a server called the "Meming Crew", which did the exact same thing the Raiding Crew did, only except they're doing everything they can to circumvent the Discord filters and bans.
-Troll one of his [[fuckbuddies|friends]] and make them mad and pissed that Garrett might make shitty YTP's out of you. -- It actually happened before.


Many targets of the Meming Crew includes [[Pedo|Jax Hahn]], Nancer, Wildcat, [[Keegan Salisbury]] and plenty of other people who have wronged Garrett recently or in the past.
-Tell Garrett that his waifu sucks. -- Or don't because he doesn't have a waifu.


The many notorious members of his circlejerk includes Isaiah Ortiz, Earthsam Productions, Gemaconda and tons of other lulcows.
And finally....


==Ways to make Garrett Butthurt==
-If you have Skype, add him to your contacts, make a spam group, then go to town.
 
==His [[Buttbuddies|friends]]==
 
Like every other [[Retard|popular kid]] on the internet, Garrett has friends.... on the internet. Shockingly, most of his friends are [[Underaged|younger]] than Garrett (8-10 years old). Garrett has [[no|notable]] friends who receive as much hate as himself, further proving that children should never have access to the internet or to their $5 webcam from Walgreens.
 
=== Keegan ===
[[File:Keegan.jpg|thumb|200px|BBF's forever.]]
[[powerword|Keegan James Salisbury]] or "KeeganTheYTPMaker1000" is a 10-year old kid who [[Shit|makes bland YouTube Poops]]. He is Garrett's best friend on YouTube and Skype. When in fights, he will make comebacks that are shockingly more stale than Garrett's. It was proved that Keegan is more of a [[Retard|delinquent]] than Garrett in real life. On March 5, 2015, Keegan was suspended from his school for punching a teacher right towards her face because his teacher didn't want him to play on his iPad. That caused Keegan to lose his internet privileges and many found out about it. Keegan was popular when he was accused of killing Dipper, a fictional hand-drawn cartoon character from [[Gravity Falls]]. Thus caused him to spew out profanity and cried because of it. The video below had Keegan deal with people accusing him for killing Dipper. Nowadays, he has become the premiere lolcow of this group and now has a much bigger and better page of his own, [[Keegan Salisbury|here]].
<br>
*[https://vine.co/KeeganTheYTPMakeronVine His cringeworthy Vine account]
*{{skype|ytpmaker1000}} His Skype
 
=== Brandon Figuracion ===
[[File:Fuckyoutoo.jpg|thumb|300px|Isn't he cute?]]
[[powerword|Brandon Figuracion]] is an Asian-American kid who is overprotective when it comes to things that happen bad to Garrett. He often becomes a [[White Knighting|whiteknight]] when someone hates Garrett with a passion. His most popular hate targets are Alex Surge and DeadGiraffe, two people who, you guessed it, hate Garrett. He often makes fun of them and even talks about them behind their backs. Brandon also sends death threats to Garrett haters as well.
 
[[File:Ragingcute.png|thumb|200px|The comment section on a video in parody of Garrett. An aspie in need, is an aspie indeed.]]
<br>
*{{skype|amazingcousins19}} His Skype
 
=== CuteEwok ===
<center>[[File:Rocky.jpg|300px|]]</center>
<center>''Now here's someone who's really dyslexic!''</center>
 
[[File:CuteEwok.png|thumb|200px|It hurts to look at him.]]
[[powerword|Kaleo Marek]] or "CuteEwok" is Garrett's [[Hugbox|highly supportive]] friend. Though claiming he has neutral opinions towards Garrett's haters and fans, he secretly lies and decides to defend Garrett and his friends and will keep anyone against Garrett from attacking him in a powerful fashion.


If you want to make the [[Gay|awesome]] 17-year-old rage like hell, this is what you have to do:
DeadGiraffe, one of Garrett's haters, mostly gets targeted by CuteEwok, though being the dumbass he is, he makes videos to make fun of Giraffe and gives him attention. Ewok foolishly did the wrong thing and got his YouTube account taken down for violations of their "terms of service". He then came back, But not on a happy note. Every time Garrett's haters call up his grandmother (They currently can't get a hold of his mother) telling her all the shit Garrett did (Y'know, death threats an' shit), Ewok has to come to the rescue, which, of course, gets Tits Migee out of trouble.


*Defend any of the people who have wronged him, like Nancer, LyricWest, Wildcat, [[Pedo|Jax Hahn]], Dax and tons more people.
''"i disagreed with his squeaky 10y/o friend on skype (garrett) and garrett threatened to "hack" me and attempted to ddos me and tried to get his friend to gain access to my youtube account
*Tell him to shut up whenever he's gossiping about the people that have wronged him
anyways, i ddosed and doxxed garrett and did some other cruel stuff and ewok started to whiteknight and made THIS"'' -Giraffe on Reddit
*Do basically anything stupid like the things either [[Geoshea]] or [[Keegan Salisbury]] did -- He will eventually put you as a target of his shitty circlejerk.
<br>
*Bother him enough and he'll soon find a way to hack one of your social media accounts. -- He did this with Logan Swan and Doggis, both people being arguably just as bad as Garrett.
*{{skype|live:cuteewokgaming}} His Skype


And finally...
== Garrett Today ==
*Tell him to "air his body language." -- He will, of course, be very pissed, and repeat the same shitty comeback: '''''"Body language? OK!" -Pulls middle finger-'''''.
Nowadays, Garrett isn't around and has barely produced any drama or milk worthwhile for the time-being. But one of his now ex-friends, [[Keegan Salisbury]] has sperged out so hard and far that he not only has earnt a page of his own here, but it has become far bigger and more well-made then Garrett's page was.


==[[TL;DR]]==
==[[TL;DR]]==
Never let your kids on the internet. '''Ever.'''
Never let your 11 year old kid on the internet. '''Ever.'''


==External Links==
==External Links==
*[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC790HKi0AQ14Jw36eC22ynA Garrett's Terminated YouTube Channel]
*[http://bitstrips.com/user/CFXJGS/ Garrett's Bitstrip Page]
*[https://twitter.com/ytpboy360 Garrett's Twitter]
*{{ytuserid|UCObwg36Gi-UeLbPYGlHHqzg|JewTube}}
*{{ytuserid|UCObwg36Gi-UeLbPYGlHHqzg|JewTube}}
*{{twitter|Garrehandr0|Twitter}}
*{{twitter|Garrehandr0|Twitter}}
*{{dauser|garrydoesartandstuff|DeviantART}} '''(INACTIVE)'''
*{{dauser|garrydoesartandstuff|DeviantART}} '''(INACTIVE)'''
*{{Reddituser|ItzGarrehandro|Reddit}}
*{{Reddituser|ItzGarrehandro|Reddit}}
*{{instagram|thatsomeonefromnextdoor|Instagram}} '''(LIKELY INACTIVE)'''
*{{instagram|thatsomeonefromnextdoor|Instagram}} '''(PRIVATE)'''
Editors Note: He has more accounts too, including Discord, however we're unable to find those.
*{{skype|garrettsreturn}} His Skype


{{ytseries}}
{{ytseries}}
{{trolls}}
{{trolls}}
{{aspies}}
{{aspies}}

Revision as of 06:21, 15 December 2021

Garrett Simmers looks like it was written by pseudo-intellectual 13-year-old boys.
Look out for unfunny Uncyclopedia bullshit, boring in-jokes, and angsty teen-ery.
You could also add in actual humor.
Garrett Simmers is an irrelevant lolcow who had long since been milked by the masses.

You can help by finding someone else to pick on, you meen-spirited cyberboolie!
This person has Assburgers Syndrome,
so you can't say anything bad! :-(


Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.

LEARNED TO PLAY NICE

Garrett Simmers may have learned to play nice with others on the internet.

     Watch this page to find out if they revert to their natural state of being an asshole   (_Y_)

Gabby Shitters
Born February 3, 2004
Nationality Americunt  
Residence South Carolina
Ethnicity White devil
Gender Male
Sexuality Pansexual
Aliases GarrettComedian
Garrett Simmers
TheGarrettMaster11
JuniorWaffle
Garrett16074
13OhFourG
Garrehandro
Occupation Trolling random people online for literally no reason

Garrett Simmmers (GarrettComedian2003) is your typical 11 year old playing the Internet Tough Guy on YouTube that joined on 2013, and he thinks that he is the the most awesome user ever and that he is the best Youtuber ever and that he is better than everyone when in reality he is just a basement dwelling 10 year old fatass that goes on his computer and jacks off to furry pr0nz. He also thinks that he has his own TV network that airs shows that will probably get him sued and watched by the NSA to see him jack off to his porn. Many of his buttbuddies include Keegan Salisbury (keegantheretardedYTPFapper), Matthew Thorp (TheRetardedMT1000), and Cruise (cruiseThePornoMaker) which of course are all of Garrett's sex slaves. He also has a fetish with Atomic Betty, and he keeps on mentioning her over and over like she's his waifu.

YouTube Past

On 2013, Garrett had an obsession of Goanimate, he decided to go to YouTube to spread his Go!Faggotry to others so that they can do the same. People left hate comments on his channel and like the blank minded he is, he started to go to the channels of the users that left hate comments started being retarded and made pointless videos out of them. He also steals content from other users and turns it worse that what it should have been. After many months of hate comments, Garrett decided to be like Chris-Chan and close his account to avoid more hate comments, but he usually comes back to do the same type of mullarkey that he usually does. But unfortunately, it doesn't end there.

Puzzle globe logo
A photoshopped image of Garrett

The "Feud"

One faithful day in the world of YouTube, A YouTuber named Jose Hernandez (referred well by his moniker Daxter5150) was busy at making some videos he had planned until Garrett, like a dumbass, decided that it would be a good idea to talk shit about someone that is more famous than him and make him a total badass. So then he started talking shit to Dax In Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Skype, and YouTube, and that led Dax to respond with making a video called How to Play Guitar like Garrett Simmers, a parody of a video Garrett made in August 2013 depicting Garrett playing the guitar in an effort to "torture" Warren Cook, an 11-year old kid who makes fan-made VHS openings for his own entertainment in which he gets criticized badly for it.

The video received critical reception, but when Garrett watched the video, he got so angry at the fact, that he went from retard to full-on Chris-Chan Mode and decided to go start an all-out war with him, and Daxter says that the war will never end after what Garrett has done, or until they have to go to school and play Pokemon. This feud started out in May 2014 to onward, as it is still visible to this day.

The Taylor Conundrum

Not too long ago, Garrett had a enemy of him named Taylor, "The Hayniac VGCP" (AKA VideoGameCartoonPolice). This girl was involved into a fight Garrett started with one of her known friend. She attempted to stand up for her friend and try to keep him for making fun of him and/or harassing him. Since having only an IQ of Chris-Chan's, he became a total pussy and decided to block Taylor, which then lead to a war with Garrett vs Taylor's fanboys/fangirls over Garrett blocking a girl on the internet, and it has become the most silliest war of 2014 that only results from letting your 10 year old son on the internet.

On February 19, 2015, Taylor even started an awesome hashtag called #GarrettUnblockTaylor which caused a giant movement against Garrett and have a shit ton of comments up his ass to the point where Garrett's friends start to defend him, but fails every way it can, growing this "war" to the point of annoyance.

The movement that made him popular

After Garrett got trolled even worse than before, his mass army of haters decided to do something to make Garrett butthurt once again, by forcing him to air his body language on the "Garrett Network", but just like how Garrett is the retarded 11 year old blob that he is, he refused, piling on more hate and pressure and hate on him. On May 2014, during a Google hangout call, Garrett was crying and screaming while his mom was teaching him body language. Someone by the name of "Darran Good" decided to record the entire footage of Garrett screaming and crying, and upload it onto YouTube. And then he decided to make the new and improved GBL which looks like total ass. Sadly, the original footage was BALEETED off the interwebz, however, one of Garrett's ex-friends has a video containing the audio from Garrett's Body Language being streamed on an online radio station.

5:51 is where the infamous shitshow begins.

And then he decided to make the new and improved GBL which looks like total ass.

Ways to make Garrett Butthurt

If you want to make the awesome 11 year old mad and pissed, this is what you only have to do:

-Tell him to "air his body language." -- He will of course, be very pissed, and then start to repeat the same shitty comeback, then say "Body language? OK!" -Pulls middle finger-.

-Tell him that he is a fat kid and he will start making up lies about himself to make himself feel better. -- He'll then starts to call himself skinny

-Make a rant about him. -- He'll make one back and his will be worse than yours.

-Troll one of his friends and make them mad and pissed that Garrett might make shitty YTP's out of you. -- It actually happened before.

-Tell Garrett that his waifu sucks. -- Or don't because he doesn't have a waifu.

And finally....

-If you have Skype, add him to your contacts, make a spam group, then go to town.

His friends

Like every other popular kid on the internet, Garrett has friends.... on the internet. Shockingly, most of his friends are younger than Garrett (8-10 years old). Garrett has notable friends who receive as much hate as himself, further proving that children should never have access to the internet or to their $5 webcam from Walgreens.

Keegan

BBF's forever.

Keegan James Salisbury or "KeeganTheYTPMaker1000" is a 10-year old kid who makes bland YouTube Poops. He is Garrett's best friend on YouTube and Skype. When in fights, he will make comebacks that are shockingly more stale than Garrett's. It was proved that Keegan is more of a delinquent than Garrett in real life. On March 5, 2015, Keegan was suspended from his school for punching a teacher right towards her face because his teacher didn't want him to play on his iPad. That caused Keegan to lose his internet privileges and many found out about it. Keegan was popular when he was accused of killing Dipper, a fictional hand-drawn cartoon character from Gravity Falls. Thus caused him to spew out profanity and cried because of it. The video below had Keegan deal with people accusing him for killing Dipper. Nowadays, he has become the premiere lolcow of this group and now has a much bigger and better page of his own, here.

Brandon Figuracion

Isn't he cute?

Brandon Figuracion is an Asian-American kid who is overprotective when it comes to things that happen bad to Garrett. He often becomes a whiteknight when someone hates Garrett with a passion. His most popular hate targets are Alex Surge and DeadGiraffe, two people who, you guessed it, hate Garrett. He often makes fun of them and even talks about them behind their backs. Brandon also sends death threats to Garrett haters as well.

The comment section on a video in parody of Garrett. An aspie in need, is an aspie indeed.


  • amazingcousins19 amazingcousins19 His Skype

CuteEwok

Now here's someone who's really dyslexic!
It hurts to look at him.

Kaleo Marek or "CuteEwok" is Garrett's highly supportive friend. Though claiming he has neutral opinions towards Garrett's haters and fans, he secretly lies and decides to defend Garrett and his friends and will keep anyone against Garrett from attacking him in a powerful fashion.

DeadGiraffe, one of Garrett's haters, mostly gets targeted by CuteEwok, though being the dumbass he is, he makes videos to make fun of Giraffe and gives him attention. Ewok foolishly did the wrong thing and got his YouTube account taken down for violations of their "terms of service". He then came back, But not on a happy note. Every time Garrett's haters call up his grandmother (They currently can't get a hold of his mother) telling her all the shit Garrett did (Y'know, death threats an' shit), Ewok has to come to the rescue, which, of course, gets Tits Migee out of trouble.

"i disagreed with his squeaky 10y/o friend on skype (garrett) and garrett threatened to "hack" me and attempted to ddos me and tried to get his friend to gain access to my youtube account anyways, i ddosed and doxxed garrett and did some other cruel stuff and ewok started to whiteknight and made THIS" -Giraffe on Reddit

  • live:cuteewokgaming live:cuteewokgaming His Skype

Garrett Today

Nowadays, Garrett isn't around and has barely produced any drama or milk worthwhile for the time-being. But one of his now ex-friends, Keegan Salisbury has sperged out so hard and far that he not only has earnt a page of his own here, but it has become far bigger and more well-made then Garrett's page was.

TL;DR

Never let your 11 year old kid on the internet. Ever.

External Links

Garrett Simmers is part of a series on YouTube.

Visit the YouTube Portal

Garrett Simmers is part of a series on

Trolls

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Garrett Simmers is part of a series on Aspies. [Back to your happy placeSperg out]

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