Gary Glitter

I just peed my pants... It made my trousers all warm and skwishy...Ooh...It's in my shoes, skwish-skwish.

File:Garyglittermoist.jpg

Gary Glitter makes British Rail moist.

Gary has been expecting you.

Gary Glitter is a hilarious British pedophile glam rocker known for hits such as Rock and Roll Part 2, Leader Of The Gang and Do You Wanna Touch, who was convicted of sex offenses twice, once in 1999 for downloading child porn images, and then in 2005 for raping some loli in Vietnam.

Gary In His Prime.

Music

Glitter started his career in the early 70s jumping on the Glam Rock bandwagon that David Bowie and Marc Bolan started, Imagine Elvis Presley drunk and high on LSD stuck in a tinfoil factory and you'll get the picture. Most of Glitter's music consists of shouting COME ON COME ON and HEY and some subtle pedo references, his music never really reached the US, except the song 'Rock And Roll Part 2', which is played at American Football events EVERY fucking sporting event (including high school), since Americans are too stupid to notice a fucking pedo made the song. For some reason people put up with his shit through the 80s and early 90s and had appearances on kids shows, he was also going to be in the Spice Girls movie, although Gary's appearance would have probably won the film an Oscar.

Glitter was also known to be a crackhead.

Pedophilia

Being the horny prat he is, Gazza downloaded over 9000 child porn images, some featuring kids as young as 2, when his piece of shit computer broke he sent his computer to PC World, being the nosey little fucks that they are, they snooped around the pedo's computer and found a goldmine of kiddy porn, Glitter was eventually found guilty, served his time in jail and said he deeply regrets what he done and wants to put it all behind him, so the crusty old pedo went to various places including Cuba, Spain and eventually Vietnam. Being the easiest place to get underage sex in the world, Glitter was asking for trouble and should have gave up while he was ahead, but in 2005 the papers started going ape shit again as the bald old glitterman was touching lolis in Vietnam.

Glitter Explains Himself

In an interview, Gary tried to make up a half assed story about the girl he slept with being scared of ghosts and mosquito nets, but ended up being interrupted by a bitchy reporter.

He should have just admitted it and got therapy.

IRL Trolling

British newspaper tabloids such as The Sun and the News Of The World, have taken it to the streets trying to catch all his crazy disguises to avoid being seen, ranging from a Rolf Harris style wig and beard to a ginger wig and straw hat. It has been thought that Gary wears a bear costume to children's parties.

Glitterformers: Pedo In Disguise

Gary can't just go for the usual trenchcoat and sunglasses to stay in disguise, he was always known for his crazy costumes in his day, so why not spice things up a bit for the paparazzi?

• Top Left: Pre 2001 Glitter in his typical nigra wig.
• Top Center: "Jack Nicholson" Glitter.
• Top Right: Hillbilly Grandpa Glitter in his striped pyjamas.
• Bottom Left: Wise Samurai Glitter with a chav girl's scarf.
• Bottom Center: Farmer trying to look cool and leaving the tag on his glasses.
• Bottom Right. Uncle Fester with a cork in his ear.

Gallery

• 
  Gary goes out for a Chinese takeaway.
• 
  One of Gary's biggest fans.
• 
  How the mighty have fallen.
• 
  Gary was once considered attractive by young girls, now it's the other way around.
• 
  Gary Being v&
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  Censored for your protection.
• 
  Gary's rape face.
• 
  Rape face again
• 
  Typical target practice.
• 
  Typical frontpage of British newspaper The Sun.
• 
  Do You Wanna Be In My Gang?
• 

See Also

• Jimmy Savile
• Pedobear
• Pedophile
• Roman Polanski
• Swirl Face
• Woody Allen

Links

• Wikipedia:Gary Glitter
• Possibly his official site, it reeks of web 1.0
• Gary Glitter Jokes
• Gary Glitter at IMDB
• Youtube's biggest Gary Glitter Fan, plenty of hilarious vids Suspended

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