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Lebanon: Difference between revisions
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Lebanese have had an identity crisis since [[last thursday|the dawn of man.]] Since Lebanese are made up of [[over 9000]] different batshit insane religious, sectarian and feudal parties, they're always raping the hell out of each other. One of the [[lulz|lulziest]] places on Earth. Of course the Israelis and Palestinians also help with the drama generation all year long. Lebanon is a recommended tourist attraction known for its [[Not gay|cultured]], [[Muhammad Cartoons|tolerant]] and [[money|Western]]-loving people. | Lebanese have had an identity crisis since [[last thursday|the dawn of man.]] Since Lebanese are made up of [[over 9000]] different batshit insane religious, sectarian and feudal parties, they're always raping the hell out of each other. One of the [[lulz|lulziest]] places on Earth. Of course the Israelis and Palestinians also help with the drama generation all year long. Lebanon is a recommended tourist attraction known for its [[Not gay|cultured]], [[Muhammad Cartoons|tolerant]] and [[money|Western]]-loving people. | ||
Lebanon gained its not-so-hard fought independence from [[France]] when the French simply forgot about the shithole following [[World War II]]. It lived in peace until it decided to join the Arab [[Zerg Rush]] against [[Israel]] hours after it was established by the Jews. However, the Jews, brainwashed by the [[Holocaust]] [[lie|stories]], raeped them hard. [[Raped|Surrounded]] by Israel from the [[buttsecks|South]], it has been repeatedly assrammed by Israel in 1978, 1982, and 2006. Troubles started when [[Palestine|Palestinian]] terrorists came into Lebanon to launch attacks on Israel in their attempts to [[Holocaust|solve]] the Middle East problem [[final solution|once and for all]]. Israel did not appreciate this, and invaded Lebanon with its modern Army, peppering the land with millions of high-tech smart ammunition rounds designed to explode when SANDNIGGER=DETECTED! KAPOW!!1!!1!! Of course, the Jews also had tanks, jets, mobile artillery, gunboats and all the usual shit that civilized nations have when going to war. This caused enormous butthurt to flow through the ranks of the ragtag Palestinian guerillas, armed as they were with old soviet pea shooters and shitloads of Korans. Despite this, the Muslims continued harassing the Jews, apparently not having learned their lesson. Moreover, | Lebanon gained its not-so-hard fought independence from [[France]] when the French simply forgot about the shithole following [[World War II]]. It lived in peace until it decided to join the Arab [[Zerg Rush]] against [[Israel]] hours after it was established by the Jews. However, the Jews, brainwashed by the [[Holocaust]] [[lie|stories]], raeped them hard. [[Raped|Surrounded]] by Israel from the [[buttsecks|South]], it has been repeatedly assrammed by Israel in 1978, 1982, and 2006. Troubles started when [[Palestine|Palestinian]] terrorists came into Lebanon to launch attacks on Israel in their attempts to [[Holocaust|solve]] the Middle East problem [[final solution|once and for all]]. Israel did not appreciate this, and invaded Lebanon with its modern Army, peppering the land with millions of high-tech smart ammunition rounds designed to explode when SANDNIGGER=DETECTED! KAPOW!!1!!1!! Of course, the Jews also had tanks, jets, mobile artillery, gunboats and all the usual shit that civilized nations have when going to war. This caused enormous butthurt to flow through the ranks of the ragtag Palestinian guerillas, armed as they were with old soviet pea shooters and shitloads of Korans. Despite this, the Muslims continued harassing the Jews, apparently not having learned their lesson. Moreover, as if it wasn't bad enough already, Lebanon proceeded to [[Goatse]] itself and got raped hard by Syria in what was called the "Lebanese [[Civil War]]", where basically [[Islam|Muzzies]] and [[Christfags]] initiated hostile [[frottage]] against each other over their [[bullshit|beliefs]] until complete exhaustion ensued. | ||
In 2006, the Lebanese group [[Iran|Hezbollah]] defended Lebanon from Israel by sneaking across the border, capturing two soldiers and firing rusty rockets at Jewish towns. Israel, thinking "WTF? This again?", decided to teach the sandniggers a lesson by carpet bombing the southern half of Lebanon and then sending in massive armored columns to finish off the charred, smoking survivors. As predicted, the Israelis tore new holes in Lebanon while raping it. Practically all of South Lebanon got flattened during the war, 2,000 Hezbofags and their Lebanese fanboyz died, Hezbollah's headquarters and its neighborhood in Beirut were completely pulverized, most of Hezbollah's [[shit|fancy]] Iranian rockets got destroyed, and Israel captured 10 miles of Southern Lebanon. However, 159 Israelis died and 5 tanks were destroyed, and there was some damage to Northern Israel, including giant forest fires, caused by Russkie-made Hezbollah rockets. The natural response for Hezbollah in this case was to put their hands up in the air and shout "WE WIN!!!!!!!! [[Allah Akbar|ALLAH AKBAR]]!!!!!!!" (It's a sandnigger thing). | In 2006, the Lebanese group [[Iran|Hezbollah]] defended Lebanon from Israel by sneaking across the border, capturing two soldiers and firing rusty rockets at Jewish towns. Israel, thinking "WTF? This again?", decided to teach the sandniggers a lesson by carpet bombing the southern half of Lebanon and then sending in massive armored columns to finish off the charred, smoking survivors. As predicted, the Israelis tore new holes in Lebanon while raping it. Practically all of South Lebanon got flattened during the war, 2,000 Hezbofags and their Lebanese fanboyz died, Hezbollah's headquarters and its neighborhood in Beirut were completely pulverized, most of Hezbollah's [[shit|fancy]] Iranian rockets got destroyed, and Israel captured 10 miles of Southern Lebanon. However, 159 Israelis died and 5 tanks were destroyed, and there was some damage to Northern Israel, including giant forest fires, caused by Russkie-made Hezbollah rockets. The natural response for Hezbollah in this case was to put their hands up in the air and shout "WE WIN!!!!!!!! [[Allah Akbar|ALLAH AKBAR]]!!!!!!!" (It's a sandnigger thing). | ||
Syria claimed that Lebanon was a natural part of its land. Seeing Lebanon as it's private garden, Syria was always there for Lebanon during times of [[pwnt|tragic crises]]... '''but not anymore | Syria claimed that Lebanon was a natural part of its land. Seeing Lebanon as it's private garden, Syria was always there for Lebanon during times of [[pwnt|tragic crises]]... '''but not anymore,''' as it is collapsing under the weight of both the enlightened ISIS progressive social revolution and the McKurd 'Murica lovin' nationalists. Lebanese are divided into Shi'a [[sandniggers|Muslims]] and Sunni [[sandniggers|Muslims]], who hate each other passionately, but have long ago forgotten why. Both sects would like to see a return to the [[pedophilia|fundamental values of the Prophet Muhammad]]. There is also a very large population of [[Christfag|Christians]] who fap to images of [[France|Nicolas Sarkozy]] and [[cock|French bread]]. They like to imagine that they are 100% Western. Muslims (both Sunni and Shi'a) love to troll them by reminding them that they are, in fact, dirty Arabs and would immediately be recognized as such by any self-respecting European. This generates immense drama and may even one day set off a fresh civil war! | ||
Lebanon is famous for its unique [[om nom nom nom|cuisine.]] [[Food]] like [[shit|kebbeh]], [[vegetarian|tabouleh]] and other [[do not want|delicacies.]] | Lebanon is famous for its unique [[om nom nom nom|cuisine.]] [[Food]] like [[shit|kebbeh]], [[vegetarian|tabouleh]] and other [[do not want|delicacies.]] | ||
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[[Image:McdonaldsFood.jpg|thumb|300px|Lebanese cuisine]] | [[Image:McdonaldsFood.jpg|thumb|300px|Lebanese cuisine]] | ||
Lebanon is also home to the [[Iran|Iranian]] Democratic Party of [[Goatse|Allah]]. Israel is a big fan of Hezbollah and | Lebanon is also home to the [[Iran|Iranian]] Democratic Party of [[Goatse|Allah]]. Israel is a big fan of Hezbollah and the two constantly [[raep|tease]] each other with silly games to keep us all entertained. Hezbollah believes that Jews are the evil offspring of pig and monkeys, as if we didn't know that already... | ||
Lebanese [[women]] are [[hawt|hot]], and their [[Mustache|natural beauty]] is an awe to behold. | Lebanese [[women]] are [[hawt|hot]], and their [[Mustache|natural beauty]] is an awe to behold. |
Revision as of 23:42, 8 May 2015
Lebanon (not to be confused with Lesbian) is a giant terrorist training camp run by Syria and Iran. It is constantly bitching about how no one likes it. Home to such groups as Hezbollah, The Palestinian Liberation Jewish-disposal Organization, and Armed Christian Fascist militias, Lebanon is a diverse and multicultural terrorist hotbed. Lebanese pride themselves in being the only democratic Arab state.
Continuous butt-rape
Lebanese have had an identity crisis since the dawn of man. Since Lebanese are made up of over 9000 different batshit insane religious, sectarian and feudal parties, they're always raping the hell out of each other. One of the lulziest places on Earth. Of course the Israelis and Palestinians also help with the drama generation all year long. Lebanon is a recommended tourist attraction known for its cultured, tolerant and Western-loving people.
Lebanon gained its not-so-hard fought independence from France when the French simply forgot about the shithole following World War II. It lived in peace until it decided to join the Arab Zerg Rush against Israel hours after it was established by the Jews. However, the Jews, brainwashed by the Holocaust stories, raeped them hard. Surrounded by Israel from the South, it has been repeatedly assrammed by Israel in 1978, 1982, and 2006. Troubles started when Palestinian terrorists came into Lebanon to launch attacks on Israel in their attempts to solve the Middle East problem once and for all. Israel did not appreciate this, and invaded Lebanon with its modern Army, peppering the land with millions of high-tech smart ammunition rounds designed to explode when SANDNIGGER=DETECTED! KAPOW!!1!!1!! Of course, the Jews also had tanks, jets, mobile artillery, gunboats and all the usual shit that civilized nations have when going to war. This caused enormous butthurt to flow through the ranks of the ragtag Palestinian guerillas, armed as they were with old soviet pea shooters and shitloads of Korans. Despite this, the Muslims continued harassing the Jews, apparently not having learned their lesson. Moreover, as if it wasn't bad enough already, Lebanon proceeded to Goatse itself and got raped hard by Syria in what was called the "Lebanese Civil War", where basically Muzzies and Christfags initiated hostile frottage against each other over their beliefs until complete exhaustion ensued.
In 2006, the Lebanese group Hezbollah defended Lebanon from Israel by sneaking across the border, capturing two soldiers and firing rusty rockets at Jewish towns. Israel, thinking "WTF? This again?", decided to teach the sandniggers a lesson by carpet bombing the southern half of Lebanon and then sending in massive armored columns to finish off the charred, smoking survivors. As predicted, the Israelis tore new holes in Lebanon while raping it. Practically all of South Lebanon got flattened during the war, 2,000 Hezbofags and their Lebanese fanboyz died, Hezbollah's headquarters and its neighborhood in Beirut were completely pulverized, most of Hezbollah's fancy Iranian rockets got destroyed, and Israel captured 10 miles of Southern Lebanon. However, 159 Israelis died and 5 tanks were destroyed, and there was some damage to Northern Israel, including giant forest fires, caused by Russkie-made Hezbollah rockets. The natural response for Hezbollah in this case was to put their hands up in the air and shout "WE WIN!!!!!!!! ALLAH AKBAR!!!!!!!" (It's a sandnigger thing).
Syria claimed that Lebanon was a natural part of its land. Seeing Lebanon as it's private garden, Syria was always there for Lebanon during times of tragic crises... but not anymore, as it is collapsing under the weight of both the enlightened ISIS progressive social revolution and the McKurd 'Murica lovin' nationalists. Lebanese are divided into Shi'a Muslims and Sunni Muslims, who hate each other passionately, but have long ago forgotten why. Both sects would like to see a return to the fundamental values of the Prophet Muhammad. There is also a very large population of Christians who fap to images of Nicolas Sarkozy and French bread. They like to imagine that they are 100% Western. Muslims (both Sunni and Shi'a) love to troll them by reminding them that they are, in fact, dirty Arabs and would immediately be recognized as such by any self-respecting European. This generates immense drama and may even one day set off a fresh civil war!
Lebanon is famous for its unique cuisine. Food like kebbeh, tabouleh and other delicacies.
Lebanon is also home to the Iranian Democratic Party of Allah. Israel is a big fan of Hezbollah and the two constantly tease each other with silly games to keep us all entertained. Hezbollah believes that Jews are the evil offspring of pig and monkeys, as if we didn't know that already...
Lebanese women are hot, and their natural beauty is an awe to behold.
tl;dr All Lebanese are special. They can never make up their mind about what they want to be, making them potential drama targets no matter who they are.
Culture
In Lebanon, you have to respect local culture and customs. This short list will guide you into familiarizing yourself moar with teh best Muzzies eva!
- "Airy Feek"
- "Badde Neek Mo7ammaddak"
- "Nayyekni Okhtak"
- "Kiss Immak"
- "Wahad A'kroot"
- "E'khtak Sharmoota"
- "Rooh Ntek"
- "Yel'an Rabbak"
Using these phrases properly will make you an instant Lebanese Winrar!. Proper Lebanese ladies will shower you with respect and you'll be a valuable member of the community in no time!
Trolling Lebanese
Lebanese are all emos. Trolling them is very easy and well worth the laugh.
- Brag how Syria is a great country and that Lebanon is one of Syria's most beautiful cities.
- If confronted by a Christian Lebanese, argue that Lebanon is Arab and Arabs are Muslims.
- If confronted by a Muslim Lebanese, complain how Christians are a majority in Lebanon yet they still don't get enough rights.
- If confronted by a Alawite Lebanese, tell them that they are not Muslim and call them mountain niggers
- Claim that Lebanon doesn't exist on map, and that the one you see is there for UN conformance purposes only.
- Declare that Lebanese are disabled and retarded since birth, thus the need for external countries to continuously pamper them.
- Call their mothers Lesbaneses.
- Remind them about 1975 .
- Tell them that Lebanon would be shit, if it was not for the palestinian immigrants enriching their country.
- Tell them that Israel kicked their asses in 1982, 2006, and 2010.
- Say that Lebanon is just another colony of Iran.
- Call them Arabs in denial.
- Tell them that if Lebanon is so great, why do most Lebanese people prefer living in the shithole of Brazil?
- "Why do you guys put shawarma the toaster?"
- Tell them that Israel invented (insert Lebanese dish here).
- Tell them that Lebanon is the gay capital in the Middle East (which it actually is)
Fun things to do in Lebanon
- Watch pirated pr0n
- Troll disenfranchised, poor Palestinians (They are all piss poor).
- Spy for Mossad and amass Jew Gold!!
- Pretend you are in a Western country (Note: this may be dangerous to your mental and physical health)
- Get raped
- Watch serious political talk shows
- Become a licensed Terrorist (Note: you will need a Iranian certificate of non-jewishness for this, but their bureaucracy is slow. Better to just pay a Jew to make a counterfeit.)
- Get blown up
- rape women (fun rite?!)
Famous Lebanese Syrian people
- Rafik Hariri
- Hassan Nasr-Allah
- Hayfa Wehbeh
- Hannah Barbara
- Ralph Nader
- Mohammad
- Mohamad Baker El-Akhras
In accordance with Megan's law we are obligated to tell you that the above are secks offenders