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Jenna Rose: Difference between revisions
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[[File:Jenna loli massage.png|thumb|right|Hard working [[loli|girl]]]] | |||
[[File:Jenna website.png|thumb|right|You can buy her used panties [http://www.jennaswerdlow.com/ here]]] | |||
[[File:Jenna nazi salute.png|thumb|right|Jenna giving the [[Doing it wrong|nazi salute]]]] | |||
[[File:Jenna fake press.png|thumb|right|Totally [[lies|legit]] news coverage]] | |||
[[File:More fake press jenna.png|thumb|right|[[moar|More]] fake press]] | |||
[[File:Jenna resume.png|thumb|right|[[Dox|Jenna's Resume]]]] | |||
[[Powerword|Jenna Rose Swerdlow]] is the Internets latest incarnation of the five headed she-beast known as [[Friday|Rebecca Black]]. Unlike Rebecca & the Ark Music Factory however the team pushing Jenna know all too well just what it is that the [[/b/|internet]] [[sex|wants from little girls]]. Jenna's manager, who just so happens to be her own fucking mother, has decided that lil miss Swerdlow's main talents have little to do with her actually singing ability and much more to do with her talent at giving [[pedo|30 year old men]] awkward boners. While [[Some argue|some may find]] the idea of a [[loli|preteen girl]] using sex to sell her music abhorrent the majority of [[you|sick fucks]] online have all agreed that this is a [[win|fantastic decision]] and wholeheartedly support Jenna's mother in this endeavor. | |||
== Backstory == | |||
One day [[16-year-old girl|13 year old Jenna]] went to her parents and told them that she wanted to be famous. After taking a few moments to compose themselves and stifle their [[lulz|laughter]] Jenna's mother Debbie told her naive young daughter that she was a [[truth|talentless whore]] who couldn't sing her way out of a date rape let alone onto the pop charts. Jenna, of course, was heartbroken at this news and did what all [[Dumbfuckistan|American]] teenagers who don't get their way do: She threw a fucking tantrum. After desperately trying to calm their daughter down with promises of unprotected sex with niggers they finally gave in and figured they could shut her up by posting some shitty music video knockoffs up on YouTube. | |||
Much to their [[LOL WUT|surprise]] the videos started gaining views fast. At first Jenna's parents attributed this to the fact that their daughter had stayed up day and night since the videos where uploaded refreshing the page over and over again. But a few days later, after Jenna passed out and was unable to falsely boost up her videos anymore, their popularity kept growing. Debbie, her mother, was [[derp|dumbfounded]] until Jenna's father offered up a good explanation. | |||
{{quote|Honey, maybe other men see what I do in our daughter, a good source for jack off material."| World's Best Father}} | |||
From then on things began to fall in place quickly as Jenna's mother began a new publicity blitz which focused on the one thing her daughter could actually do right: [[Wimmins|Be a whore]]. Debbie went to work taking [[cp|slutty photos of Jenna]] and writing her daughter song lyrics which border on solicitation of sex. Soon Jenna began to get popular as many [[pedo|fans]] started to [[Internet stalking|follow her]]. While there is always the risk that this will all eventually lead to Jenna being found naked and beaten to death in a gutter at least she is YouTube popular and that's all that really matters. | |||
== Music Videos == | |||
<center> | |||
<youtube>MDulhduiDQw</youtube> | |||
</center> | |||
<center> | |||
<youtube>7DwT_2QQU64</youtube> | |||
</center> | |||
== Dox == | |||
*Full Name: Jenna Rose Swerdlow | |||
*DOB: 9/28/1998 | |||
*Mother: Debbie Swerdlow | |||
*Phone Numbers: 516-428-6597 / 631-271-2584 | |||
*Email: [email protected] | |||
*Andreadis Talent Agency (Barbara) | |||
*Talent Agency Number: 213-315-0303 | |||
== Links == | |||
[http://www.jennaswerdlow.com/ Website] | |||
{{Pedoseries}} | |||
{{Music}} | {{Music}} | ||
[[Category:Music]] | [[Category:Music]] | ||
Revision as of 17:18, 31 May 2011
Jenna Rose Swerdlow is the Internets latest incarnation of the five headed she-beast known as Rebecca Black. Unlike Rebecca & the Ark Music Factory however the team pushing Jenna know all too well just what it is that the internet wants from little girls. Jenna's manager, who just so happens to be her own fucking mother, has decided that lil miss Swerdlow's main talents have little to do with her actually singing ability and much more to do with her talent at giving 30 year old men awkward boners. While some may find the idea of a preteen girl using sex to sell her music abhorrent the majority of sick fucks online have all agreed that this is a fantastic decision and wholeheartedly support Jenna's mother in this endeavor.
Backstory
One day 13 year old Jenna went to her parents and told them that she wanted to be famous. After taking a few moments to compose themselves and stifle their laughter Jenna's mother Debbie told her naive young daughter that she was a talentless whore who couldn't sing her way out of a date rape let alone onto the pop charts. Jenna, of course, was heartbroken at this news and did what all American teenagers who don't get their way do: She threw a fucking tantrum. After desperately trying to calm their daughter down with promises of unprotected sex with niggers they finally gave in and figured they could shut her up by posting some shitty music video knockoffs up on YouTube.
Much to their surprise the videos started gaining views fast. At first Jenna's parents attributed this to the fact that their daughter had stayed up day and night since the videos where uploaded refreshing the page over and over again. But a few days later, after Jenna passed out and was unable to falsely boost up her videos anymore, their popularity kept growing. Debbie, her mother, was dumbfounded until Jenna's father offered up a good explanation.
— World's Best Father | ||
From then on things began to fall in place quickly as Jenna's mother began a new publicity blitz which focused on the one thing her daughter could actually do right: Be a whore. Debbie went to work taking slutty photos of Jenna and writing her daughter song lyrics which border on solicitation of sex. Soon Jenna began to get popular as many fans started to follow her. While there is always the risk that this will all eventually lead to Jenna being found naked and beaten to death in a gutter at least she is YouTube popular and that's all that really matters.
Music Videos
Dox
- Full Name: Jenna Rose Swerdlow
- DOB: 9/28/1998
- Mother: Debbie Swerdlow
- Phone Numbers: 516-428-6597 / 631-271-2584
- Email: [email protected]
- Andreadis Talent Agency (Barbara)
- Talent Agency Number: 213-315-0303
Links
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Jenna Rose is part of a series on Visit the Music Portal for complete coverage. |