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Chyna: Difference between revisions
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[[Image:Chyna.jpg | [[Image:Chyna.jpg|thumb|[[Lie|So fucking hot]]]] | ||
'' | :''Not to be confused with [[China]] or [[Shit nobody cares about|Blac Chyna]], or [[Vagina|China]], Chris-Chan's neologism for [[pussy]]'' | ||
'''[[Powerword|Joanie Laurer]]''', more commonly known as '''[[China|Chyna]]''', was a [[bodybuilder]] and [[professional wrestling|professional wrestler]] in the [[WWF]] who taught the [[12-year-old girl|young women]] of the [[Web 1.0|late-90s]] that they could do anything that a man could do as long as they just put their hearts into it and abused a shitload of [[steroids]] and other assorted [[drugs]]. She was also known for having developed a [[micropenis]] and for her obnoxious voice that sounded like the last breaths of a [[Leelah Alcorn|dying animal that just got run over by a Mack Truck]]. | |||
Following her career as a professional wrestler, Chyna went on to star in various films and television shows – Most notably landing a role as [[The Incredible Hulk|She-Hulk]] in a low-budget [[porno]] and appearing on [[Amy Winehouse|Celebrity Rehab]] in a failed attempt to battle her life-threatening addiction to alcohol and drugs. On [[Hitler|April 20]], 2016, Chyna's [[Anita Sarkeesian|bloated and maggot-infested]] corpse was found in her apartment, the police believe that she died of a "[[Murder|suspected drug overdose]]" several days earlier at the [[Old|young]] age of 45. | |||
Chyna was billed as being the "Ninth Wonder of the World", and her seemingly circumcised [[micropenis]] was often billed as being the tenth. | |||
__TOC__ | |||
{{clear}} | |||
== Career == | |||
[[File:ChynaVsJeffJarrett.jpg|thumb|Chyna vs. Jeff Jarrett]] | |||
Joanie Laurer was hired by the WWF in 1997 after abusing [[steroids]] and proving herself worthy by beating the living shit out of a [[Bruce Jenner|man in a dress]]. She took the stage name of "Chyna" ([[Chris-chan|derived]] from the word [[Vagina|vachyna]]) and quickly rose to prominence due to the fact that she possessed a [[pussy]] – Something that most professional wrestlers didn't possess at the time. | |||
After winning many fights that were [[Lie|definitely not staged]], Chyna then faced off with Jeff Jarrett in a match for the [[E-penis|WWF Intercontinental Championship Belt]]. Chyna ended up smacking Jeff Jarrett with a [[literal]] kitchen sink and then [[Mortal Kombat|finished him]] with a [[guitar]] to the back of his head, thus making her the first female to ever hold the title of [[God|WWF Intercontinental Champion]]. | |||
After leaving the world of professional wrestling, Chyna then began a career as a porn star. | |||
{{clear}} | |||
== Last Night in Chyna == | |||
{| style="margin: 0 auto" | |||
|{{frame| | |||
<youtube>65F8AGPyJyA</youtube><br/><center>Chyna, preparing to curl up and die.</center> | |||
|border=#f9f9f9|background=#f9f9f9}} | |||
|} | |||
== Quotes == | |||
<center> | |||
{{frame| | |||
{{morphquote|Quotes|background-color: #f9f9f9; width: 600px; height: 220px;|font-weight: bold; | |||
|No matter the cause of death, we all know that #patriarchy killed Chyna. #RIPChyna|SemperJase, thinking that the [[patriarchy]] did Chyna | |||
|Shattered glass ceilings, [[SWAT|kicked down doors]], broke gender barriers, . Rest now-ur legacy lives on #RIPChyna|alwayslarrie3, believing that steroids are feminism drugs | |||
|I'm still fucked up about it sorry!!!!!! Bye Chyna was murdered by misogyny and indifference just like the rest of us will be don't @ me|jortician | |||
|chyna was murdered by Vince McMahon as a way of cleansing his products history of any unsavory characters #WakeUp|Alex J. Riley, revealing the truth | |||
|WWE has a problem. Chyna dies aged 45, following [[Chris Benoit]] murder-suicide, and early deaths of Test, Eddie Guerrero, Umaga, Bigelow ...|Jamie Pandaram, realizing that wrestlers tend to [[Sandy Hook|die young]] | |||
|HHH and stephany McMahon killed Chyna|JussDuffy | |||
|Queen Elizabeth had Chyna killed for her 90th birthday.|Ditherkins | |||
|No, old people pass away, Chyna killed her self through self distructive behavior. Let's not sugar coat it...|Jason Soler | |||
|Do people really think Vince McMahon actually killed Chyna? What world do you live in ...|Chewy Shittwood | |||
|Conor McGregor killed Chyna as part of an initiation rite from Hunter in order to get signed by the Fed. | |||
WAKE UP SHEEPLE.|MokojinGaming | |||
|#RIPChyna OMFG CHYNA Is DEAD !!!!!!!!!! @KylieJenner KILLED HER|fassionable | |||
|Chyna died huh? Karma for all the boners she killed by being in a porn.|Cthulhu_Tweets | |||
|I think Black Chyna got that Chyna gal killed so she could be just "Chyna", but now it's too late because no one will call her that.|BettyGGA | |||
|Trump killed Chyna. | |||
Prove me wrong.|SooperMexican | |||
|RIP all of Chyna except her mutant clit that killed a cop and had a cameo in the Toxic Avenger.|Andrew Polk | |||
|IM GONNA GO FAP TO CHYNAS SHEHULK PRON DERE OR WHATEVER FUCK....GONNA BE A GOOD TIME DAWGS!!!|WrestlingJesus | |||
}}|border=#f9f9f9|background=#f9f9f9}} | |||
</center> | |||
== Galleria de Chyna == | |||
<center> | |||
{{collapsegallery|Chyna Porn|CP|center|<gallery perrow="4"> | |||
File:Clit.jpg|Chyna's circumcised [[Mangina|girlcock]]. | |||
File:ChynasChina.jpg | |||
File:ChynasChina2.jpg | |||
File:ChynaIsThisGay.jpg|Are the balls touching? | |||
File:ChynaPOV.jpg|You know you want to be Chyna! | |||
File:HulkFacial.jpg | |||
File:ChynasFriends.jpg|Chyna's friends. | |||
File:ChynaSucks.jpg | |||
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4"> | |||
File:WomanBeingEatenByGoblin.jpg | |||
</Gallery>}} | |||
{{collapsegallery|Fan Art (i.e. Rule 34)|FanArt|center|<gallery perrow="4"> | |||
File:ChynaOnePiece.jpg|Chyna's cancelled guest appearance on [[One Piece]]. | |||
File:ChynaWhore.jpg | |||
File:WetTheBabysHead.jpg|[[Babyfuck|IT'S AWWWRIGHT!]] | |||
File:FutaChyna.jpg | |||
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4"> | |||
File:ChynasBitches.jpg | |||
File:BullInAChynaShop.jpg|Bull in a Chyna shop. | |||
</Gallery>}} | |||
</center> | |||
== Videos == | |||
{| style="margin: 0 auto" | |||
|{{frame|{{videoframe|DykesDykesChyna|background-color: #f9f9f9; text-align: center; font-weight: bold;|font-weight: bold; | |||
|<youtube>JuLWWDoN85E</youtube><br/> | |||
|<youtube>cYvnpa6GOuM</youtube><br/> | |||
|<youtube>2GIgWuAkjio</youtube><br/> | |||
|<youtube>m-SDWy1V7Jg</youtube><br/> | |||
}}|border=#f9f9f9|background=#f9f9f9}} | |||
|} | |||
== See Also == | |||
[[File:WWFLogo.png|thumb|The WWF's logo from back when Chyna was still relevant.]] | |||
*[[Wrestling]] | |||
*[[Lesbian]] | |||
*[[FTM]] | |||
*[[Chris Benoit]] | |||
*[[The Ultimate Warrior]] | |||
*[[Attack on Titan]] | |||
{{Lezz}} | |||
{{Sex}} | |||
{{olympics}} | {{olympics}} | ||
{{Dying Alone}} | |||
{{timeline|Featured article April 22 & 23, [[2016]]|[[School Shooting]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[File:UnpronounceableSymbol.png|25px|link=Prince]]}} | |||
[[Category:Sex]] | |||
[[Category:Corpses]] |
Latest revision as of 15:12, 14 March 2018
- Not to be confused with China or Blac Chyna, or China, Chris-Chan's neologism for pussy
Joanie Laurer, more commonly known as Chyna, was a bodybuilder and professional wrestler in the WWF who taught the young women of the late-90s that they could do anything that a man could do as long as they just put their hearts into it and abused a shitload of steroids and other assorted drugs. She was also known for having developed a micropenis and for her obnoxious voice that sounded like the last breaths of a dying animal that just got run over by a Mack Truck.
Following her career as a professional wrestler, Chyna went on to star in various films and television shows – Most notably landing a role as She-Hulk in a low-budget porno and appearing on Celebrity Rehab in a failed attempt to battle her life-threatening addiction to alcohol and drugs. On April 20, 2016, Chyna's bloated and maggot-infested corpse was found in her apartment, the police believe that she died of a "suspected drug overdose" several days earlier at the young age of 45.
Chyna was billed as being the "Ninth Wonder of the World", and her seemingly circumcised micropenis was often billed as being the tenth.
Career
Joanie Laurer was hired by the WWF in 1997 after abusing steroids and proving herself worthy by beating the living shit out of a man in a dress. She took the stage name of "Chyna" (derived from the word vachyna) and quickly rose to prominence due to the fact that she possessed a pussy – Something that most professional wrestlers didn't possess at the time.
After winning many fights that were definitely not staged, Chyna then faced off with Jeff Jarrett in a match for the WWF Intercontinental Championship Belt. Chyna ended up smacking Jeff Jarrett with a literal kitchen sink and then finished him with a guitar to the back of his head, thus making her the first female to ever hold the title of WWF Intercontinental Champion.
After leaving the world of professional wrestling, Chyna then began a career as a porn star.
Last Night in Chyna
|
Quotes
Previous Quote | Next Quote |
Galleria de Chyna
-
Chyna's circumcised girlcock.
-
Are the balls touching?
-
You know you want to be Chyna!
-
Chyna's friends.
-
Chyna's cancelled guest appearance on One Piece.
Videos
|
See Also
Chyna is part of a series on Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
Chyna is part of a series on Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage. |
Chyna is part of a series on the ED Special Olympics |
Sports
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Featured article April 22 & 23, 2016 | ||
Preceded by School Shooting |
Chyna | Succeeded by |