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Angband: Difference between revisions
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[[File:Angband.png|thumb|right|alt=The Angband Logo|The Angband Logo, in all its nerdy glory.]] | [[File:Angband.png|thumb|right|alt=The Angband Logo|The Angband Logo, in all its nerdy glory.]] | ||
[[File:Angband main screen.png|thumb|right|alt=Angband Main|[[Y halo thar|Hello, welcome to Angband!]]]] | |||
Angband is a [[ | Angband is a Roguelike which means it's [[Rogue]] only less lulzy, indulging players in a much smoother learning and difficulty curve, and pre-packed pretty graphics for [[faggots]] who can't handle [[ASCII]]. | ||
=So, what's happening?= | |||
Like many games, Angband features a very [[Ripoff|original]] plot. You, as one of your chosen [[Race|races]] are to dwell down into a [[100]] level dungeon to [[Fail|try]] and rape an immortal spirit [[Moar|Mor]][[goth]] taken strait from [[Lord of The Rings|Tolkien]]. As so, expect every single thing in the game to be stolen from a shitty series of books and movies. | |||
=Angband and Nethack= | |||
As an attempt at being original, Angband is different from [[Nethack]]. | |||
Nethack always provided a pleasantly terrifying level of terrifying, slaying foolhardy players with a swipe of a kittens claw, and regularly perpatrating hate crimes againts [[Down's Syndrome|Downies]] by making it physically possible to die of a broken foot if they felt like just kicking a wall until their foot was no more than a bloody, mangled, splintered [[stub]]. | Nethack always provided a pleasantly terrifying level of terrifying, slaying foolhardy players with a swipe of a kittens claw, and regularly perpatrating hate crimes againts [[Down's Syndrome|Downies]] by making it physically possible to die of a broken foot if they felt like just kicking a wall until their foot was no more than a bloody, mangled, splintered [[stub]]. | ||
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Or, if Nethack was just feeling moody/lulzy, it would kill you on Turn 0 after you've spent an inordinate amount of time number-crunching that perfect character, just by helpfully spawning you in some horrible death trap, such as lava. This event treats you with the pleasant, friendly message... | Or, if Nethack was just feeling moody/lulzy, it would kill you on Turn 0 after you've spent an inordinate amount of time number-crunching that perfect character, just by helpfully spawning you in some horrible death trap, such as lava. This event treats you with the pleasant, friendly message... | ||
"Do not pass Go. Do not collect 200 zorkmids". | [[Monopoly|"Do not pass Go. Do not collect 200 zorkmids".]] | ||
Angband took a more [[troll|cunning]] approach. Angband lets you kick ass for a few levels, lulling you into a false sense of security, comforting you, feeding you everything you need like an infant at a mothers teat... then it will suddenly provide you with some delicious [[buttsecks]] from a [[rape|suprise ambush]] of, for example, [[Dogs|Hounds]]. Or, at lower levels, [[Wood]] Spiders. If you're an unlucky fucktard ([[Fact|which you are]]), you will probably have your character devoured alive by Jackals on level one. | |||
Once you get to the final fight, if you've been an asshat and not saught out every named enemy (Including Farmer Maggot and his Dogs), Morgoth with summon them all with a single word, promptly bending you over, opening you [[goatse|wide]] and shoving your entire inventory into your rectum until you burst in a pleasing shower of gore. | |||
=See Also= | |||
*[[Ragnarok]] | |||
*[[Rogue]] | |||
*[[Nerd]] | |||
=External Links= | |||
*[http://rephial.org/ Official website, get Angband here] | |||
*[http://angband.oook.cz/stuff/manual.txt Angband manual. Read this shit, if you don't want to die on your first level.] | |||
{{stub}} | |||
{{Mmoseries}} | |||
{{Gaming}} | |||
Latest revision as of 07:14, 16 December 2016
Angband is a Roguelike which means it's Rogue only less lulzy, indulging players in a much smoother learning and difficulty curve, and pre-packed pretty graphics for faggots who can't handle ASCII.
So, what's happening?
Like many games, Angband features a very original plot. You, as one of your chosen races are to dwell down into a 100 level dungeon to try and rape an immortal spirit Morgoth taken strait from Tolkien. As so, expect every single thing in the game to be stolen from a shitty series of books and movies.
Angband and Nethack
As an attempt at being original, Angband is different from Nethack.
Nethack always provided a pleasantly terrifying level of terrifying, slaying foolhardy players with a swipe of a kittens claw, and regularly perpatrating hate crimes againts Downies by making it physically possible to die of a broken foot if they felt like just kicking a wall until their foot was no more than a bloody, mangled, splintered stub.
Or, if Nethack was just feeling moody/lulzy, it would kill you on Turn 0 after you've spent an inordinate amount of time number-crunching that perfect character, just by helpfully spawning you in some horrible death trap, such as lava. This event treats you with the pleasant, friendly message...
"Do not pass Go. Do not collect 200 zorkmids".
Angband took a more cunning approach. Angband lets you kick ass for a few levels, lulling you into a false sense of security, comforting you, feeding you everything you need like an infant at a mothers teat... then it will suddenly provide you with some delicious buttsecks from a suprise ambush of, for example, Hounds. Or, at lower levels, Wood Spiders. If you're an unlucky fucktard (which you are), you will probably have your character devoured alive by Jackals on level one.
Once you get to the final fight, if you've been an asshat and not saught out every named enemy (Including Farmer Maggot and his Dogs), Morgoth with summon them all with a single word, promptly bending you over, opening you wide and shoving your entire inventory into your rectum until you burst in a pleasing shower of gore.
See Also
External Links
- Official website, get Angband here
- Angband manual. Read this shit, if you don't want to die on your first level.
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Angband is part of a series on MMORPGs. | [Ding!] |
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Angband is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |