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Chyna: Difference between revisions
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[[Image:Chyna.jpg|thumb|[[Lie|So fucking hot]]]] | [[Image:Chyna.jpg|thumb|[[Lie|So fucking hot]]]] | ||
:''Not to be confused with [[China]] or [[Shit nobody cares about|Blac Chyna]], or [[Vagina|China]], Chris-Chan's neologism for [[pussy]]'' | |||
'''[[Powerword|Joanie Laurer]]''', more commonly known as '''[[China|Chyna]]''', was a [[bodybuilder]] and [[professional wrestling|professional wrestler]] in the [[WWF]] who taught the [[12-year-old girl|young women]] of the [[Web 1.0|late-90s]] that they could do anything that a man could do as long as they just put their hearts into it and abused a shitload of [[steroids]] and other assorted [[drugs]]. She was also known for having developed a [[micropenis]] and for her obnoxious voice that sounded like the last breaths of a [[Leelah Alcorn|dying animal that just got run over by a Mack Truck]]. | '''[[Powerword|Joanie Laurer]]''', more commonly known as '''[[China|Chyna]]''', was a [[bodybuilder]] and [[professional wrestling|professional wrestler]] in the [[WWF]] who taught the [[12-year-old girl|young women]] of the [[Web 1.0|late-90s]] that they could do anything that a man could do as long as they just put their hearts into it and abused a shitload of [[steroids]] and other assorted [[drugs]]. She was also known for having developed a [[micropenis]] and for her obnoxious voice that sounded like the last breaths of a [[Leelah Alcorn|dying animal that just got run over by a Mack Truck]]. | ||
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== Career == | == Career == | ||
[[File: | [[File:ChynaVsJeffJarrett.jpg|thumb|Chyna vs. Jeff Jarrett]] | ||
Joanie Laurer was hired by the WWF in 1997 after abusing [[steroids]] and proving herself worthy by beating the living shit out of a [[Bruce Jenner|man in a dress]]. She took the stage name of "Chyna" ([[Chris-chan|derived]] from the word [[Vagina|vachyna]]) and quickly rose to prominence due to the fact that she possessed a [[pussy]] – Something that most professional wrestlers didn't possess at the time. | |||
After winning many fights that were [[Lie|definitely not staged]], Chyna then faced off with Jeff Jarrett in a match for the [[E-penis|WWF Intercontinental Championship Belt]]. Chyna ended up smacking Jeff Jarrett with a [[literal]] kitchen sink and then [[Mortal Kombat|finished him]] with a [[guitar]] to the back of his head, thus making her the first female to ever hold the title of [[God|WWF Intercontinental Champion]]. | |||
After leaving the world of professional wrestling, Chyna then began a career as a porn star. | |||
{{clear}} | {{clear}} | ||
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File:WetTheBabysHead.jpg|[[Babyfuck|IT'S AWWWRIGHT!]] | File:WetTheBabysHead.jpg|[[Babyfuck|IT'S AWWWRIGHT!]] | ||
File:FutaChyna.jpg | File:FutaChyna.jpg | ||
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="4"> | |||
File:ChynasBitches.jpg | File:ChynasBitches.jpg | ||
File:BullInAChynaShop.jpg|Bull in a Chyna shop. | |||
</Gallery>}} | </Gallery>}} | ||
</center> | </center> | ||
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== See Also == | == See Also == | ||
[[File:WWFLogo.png|thumb|The WWF's logo from back when Chyna was still relevant.]] | |||
*[[Wrestling]] | *[[Wrestling]] | ||
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{{Dying Alone}} | {{Dying Alone}} | ||
{{timeline|Featured article April 22 & 23, [[2016]]|[[School Shooting]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Prince]]}} | {{timeline|Featured article April 22 & 23, [[2016]]|[[School Shooting]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[File:UnpronounceableSymbol.png|25px|link=Prince]]}} | ||
[[Category:Sex]] | [[Category:Sex]] | ||
[[Category:Corpses]] | |||
Latest revision as of 15:12, 14 March 2018
- Not to be confused with China or Blac Chyna, or China, Chris-Chan's neologism for pussy
Joanie Laurer, more commonly known as Chyna, was a bodybuilder and professional wrestler in the WWF who taught the young women of the late-90s that they could do anything that a man could do as long as they just put their hearts into it and abused a shitload of steroids and other assorted drugs. She was also known for having developed a micropenis and for her obnoxious voice that sounded like the last breaths of a dying animal that just got run over by a Mack Truck.
Following her career as a professional wrestler, Chyna went on to star in various films and television shows – Most notably landing a role as She-Hulk in a low-budget porno and appearing on Celebrity Rehab in a failed attempt to battle her life-threatening addiction to alcohol and drugs. On April 20, 2016, Chyna's bloated and maggot-infested corpse was found in her apartment, the police believe that she died of a "suspected drug overdose" several days earlier at the young age of 45.
Chyna was billed as being the "Ninth Wonder of the World", and her seemingly circumcised micropenis was often billed as being the tenth.
Career
Joanie Laurer was hired by the WWF in 1997 after abusing steroids and proving herself worthy by beating the living shit out of a man in a dress. She took the stage name of "Chyna" (derived from the word vachyna) and quickly rose to prominence due to the fact that she possessed a pussy – Something that most professional wrestlers didn't possess at the time.
After winning many fights that were definitely not staged, Chyna then faced off with Jeff Jarrett in a match for the WWF Intercontinental Championship Belt. Chyna ended up smacking Jeff Jarrett with a literal kitchen sink and then finished him with a guitar to the back of his head, thus making her the first female to ever hold the title of WWF Intercontinental Champion.
After leaving the world of professional wrestling, Chyna then began a career as a porn star.
Last Night in Chyna
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Quotes
Previous Quote | Next Quote | |||||
Galleria de Chyna
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Chyna's circumcised girlcock. -
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Are the balls touching? -
You know you want to be Chyna! -
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Chyna's friends. -
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Chyna's cancelled guest appearance on One Piece. -
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Bull in a Chyna shop.
Videos
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See Also
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Chyna is part of a series on Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
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Chyna is part of a series on Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage. |
 Chyna is part of a series on the ED Special Olympics |
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| Featured article April 22 & 23, 2016 | ||
| Preceded by School Shooting |
Chyna | Succeeded by
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