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Asia

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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A typical Asian Citizen.
Now with Rainbow Dragons.

Asia is a massive slab of small-penisry and fail that stretches from the eastern edge of the Soviet Union all the way to that island where they make all that sick pornography. The men are uniformly short and small-cocked, and the women, "women", are dubiously gendered. All Asians have slanted eyes and noses that look like they were smashed with a hammer, yellowish skin, and a lot of them have buck teeth and poor eyesight. To sum up their appearance, they look like they were farted on by a fat, Americunt weeaboo who ate too many egg rolls whilst jacking off to his loli collection, rendering the poor creatures to look like horribly disfigured piss monkeys. Asia is noted for posessing some of the largest landmasses that contain absolutely no win. Some win was detected in Japan, but upon mineral survey it was found to be contaminated with dangerous levels of weeaboocite. This did not stop thousands of American prospectors from trying to mine it. The condition that results from exposure is hideous.

The primary value of Asia to the rest of the world lies in their sheer numbers. Most Asian countries are so overpopulated, a human life is worth less than a coon in Tennessee. This allows them to mass produce electronics with slave labor, and farm large amounts of rice and tea for weeb faggots in oher countries to consume. It is also the last bastion of Communism, at least until Obama launches his red revolution. And last, but certainly not least, Asia is the world's number one source of sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet underage child sex. That and tranny dick, tangy, tangy, tangy, tranny dick.


While Asian countries are known to produce awesome cars, most of their people can't drive worth a shit as evidenced here

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Contributions to the Rest of the World

The Land of Communism

There are more socialist countries in Asia than any other continent in the world. Cambodia, China, Japan, Laos, Mongolia, Myanmar, Nepal, North Korea, Thailand, Singapore, Vietnam and in the near future (if you take your cue from New Hampshire survivalists), all of the countries of Asia. These gooks are responsible for genocides, horrific and brutal torture, blatant human rights violations, unjust wars, unimaginably evil acts of animal cruelty, (such as cooking and skinning dogs and cats alive), and the utter and complete suppression of their citizens. These commie gooks and their evils/atrocities, will never be brought to justice for their crimes because its "racist" to bring Azns to justice. It is simply something most people just ignore in hopes these commie scum don't bring their disease to the civilized world!

Pastimes

Asians are renowned for their shoe-sewing skills and are known to enjoy running people over and eating rice. A common game played in Asia is called Find Waawdo which is the same as Find Waldo in western countries, except far, far more difficult, given that all Asian people look exactly the same. Typical places featured in Find Waawdo include shoe-sewing factories and rice paddies.
It is well known that all Asian's brains have an expiry date at which time they finally crack, pull out the knife and stab the nearest person.

Cultures

Asia is home to many ancient and sophisticated cultures which developed such modern technologies as burning women alive and pollution. Many Asians now celebrate this glorious past by trying to act like black people.

No Asian culture places any value on human life at all, for themselves, their families, or others. For this reason they tend to live in gigantic clusters in small houses, which results in enormous disasters (ie, "Pickup Truck Rolls Over In Jakarta - Three Thousand Killed, Fifty Thousand Left Homeless").

Countries

There are many countries in Asia and most of them don't matter. A few that you may know are:

China, where most of the West's industry is now located, filled with a writhing mass of people who will cheat, steal, lie, and kill you in their passion to rule the world. Hated by the Japanese.

Myanmar, pretty much China's bitch, the one where the local gooks blend in with the pagodas. currently raping the towelfags in the up the ass for the lulz, much to the dismay of The UN

Japan, the chosen land of sad losers and pedophiles the world over. They hate you and everyone else who isn't Japanese, and they're shrinking. Will probably be annexed by China in a century or so once they've ceased to matter anymore.

Korea, sort of like a mini-China but much less interesting. The Japanese & chinese hate them the most of all, and want them all dead. Also half of the country is run by a dying maniac and his fat retarded son, so remains good for many lulz to come.

Singapore, another mini-china yet capitalistic and much better of than the rest of Southeast Asia.

Indonesia, a country that really hates China. Despite the Chinese locals being kind to them, the Indonesians kill them in return for their kindness. Tries too hard to exceed China, even by littering, plastic pollution and mental retardation.

Vietnam, mostly interesting because of their success in killing Americans many years ago, nowadays hosts a lot of hipster vacationers. Probably hated by the Japanese.

Thailand, cheap prostitutes and expat boyfuckers. Probably hated by the Japanese as well.

Philippines, most Western Southeast Asian country and culturally closer to Spics than to Gooks, once a Bitch of Jewnited States of Americunts

India, a huge filthy crowded slum of a country. Somehow manages to run a space program and a high tech industry despite the vast incompetence of its people.

Human Trafficking

Asia has emerged as the preferred source of young boys and girls for pedophilic sex tourism and the source of women for trafficking into sex-dens/brothels in the red-light districts of most major cities in the world. Be care many of the Asian "ladies" you might meet are trannies!

Gallery of Asian "Ladies"

Famous Asians


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See Also For drama in your neck of the world, please consult the Encyclopdedia Dramatica Lulz Map. Also see: ED:Map