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Old media
Is your neighbour terrorizing you with his latest gadget? Is your computer game playing sons back being benched like the banana of your husbands increasingly fat encrusted cock?
DON'T WORRY! We are now introducing media!✡ If you buy a subscription now, you will also get a soffa ergonomically fit for your pear shaped rear. BUT WAIT, THERE IS MORE! Did you not get any romance as a teenager? Fox News! Do you know better than others? The Jew York times. Media, saving the world with one syllable at a time!
Old media is a Jew conspiracy that's heavily biased against you and your political viewpoint and philosophical stance. Therefore, everything bad that happens is most likely the fault of old media. As old media is old, it's neither cool nor funny. If you ever meet a member of the old media, be sure to give them AIDS. Old media is constantly screwing with our minds by telling us what to think. Also, parents love to endlessly discuss how the media corrupts our youth.
Last Thursday, the old media (New York Times) finally covered ED, much to the chagrin of moralists everywhere.
How new media corrupted everyone 4EVAR
First literacy corrupted the youth according to older generations....
Then books corrupted the youth according to older generations...
Then radio corrupted the youth according to older generations...
Then comic books corrupted the youth according to older generations...
Then television corrupted the youth according to older generations...
Then video games corrupted the youth according to older generations...
Then easily accessible Internet corrupted the youth according to older generations...
Then smartphones and tablets corrupted the youth according to older generations...
Luckily, we have impeccable older role models to tell us that we are permanently doing it wrong!
Examples
- Radio
- Television
- Networks: CNN, Fox, MSNBC, MTV, BET, BBC
- Liberal media
- Bill O'Reilly
- Keith Olbermann
- Sean Hannity
- Dan Rather
Tim Russertdied, lol- Glenn Beck
- Tabloids
- Magazines
- Newspapers
- Web 1.0
- MRI
- BBS
Gallery
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Bill O'Reilly, champion of the old media.
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Brian Williams, crooked-faced hero of old media
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Old media, meet Anonymous.
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It's serious business
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or ACTA...PROFIT!
See also
Old media is part of a series on Language & Communication | |
---|---|
Languages and Dialects • Grammar, Punctuation, Spelling, Style, and Usage • Rhetorical Strategies • Poetry •
The Politics of Language and Communication • Media • Visual Rhetoric
Click topics to expand |