Charlie Hebdo

Charlie Hebdo is a French satirical magazine that published ugly cartoons and made fun of Muhammed often enough to be firebombed and attacked at least 3 times in the past 10 years. It was made more than 100 years ago and for some odd reason, is still going on even today.

On several occasions this bastion of free thought has published depictions of the prophet Mohamed, knowing full well that some Muslims take great exception to such depictions even when they aren't crude insults, as these ones mostly were. The Charlie Hebdo team scoffed at warnings of imminent danger, saying: "We are proud guardians of the Freedom Of Speech!"

One day, after a long pause, a giant cake wrapped in ribbons was delivered to the Charlie Hebdo offices. Everyone was delighted to see it. Then SURPRISE! gunmen jumped out, shot everyone dead, and ran away like pussies.

Everyone in the (Christian) west was offended that it was not possible to deeply insult the religion of religious fundamentalist terrorists and get away with it, so they all got together to hold hands in Paris and wear totally gay "Je suis Charlie!" t-shirts. In attendance were representatives from those havens of free speech and unfettered journalism Russia, Egypt, Turkey, Algeria and the United Arab Emirates. But no-one made a fuss about that, because, you know, ISLAM.

TL;DR: Despite warnings about what was fucking obviously going to happen, a bunch of jerks poked a wasp nest with sharp sticks, got stung to death, and everyone said it was the wasps' fault for being poked in the first place, disregarding the fact that wasps only exist to sting other things.

Reactions by Muslims till now

There has been many reactions by Muslims because no one should make fun of Mohammed for being a pedo those include:

2011

They got pwned by a fire bomb and they got their website haxed by 1337 Muslims after they made their cover photo a picture of Mohammed,

2012

Being the great trolls they are, they published leaked n00dz of mohammed during the time the American embassies were being bombed for the innocence of Islam movie, the French, being the pussies they are, made sure their embassies all over the world be surrounded by riot police, needless to say this plan really worked!

2015

Not learning from past mistakes, they continued to make fun of Mohammed more than ever in a new batcave, unknown to the public to avoid further pwnage. Meanwhile some Sand Niggers, after have read a whole box of Charlie Hebdo back issues from the last two decades that they found in their newly rented accomodation, decided they were done with them. They then ploted an attack on CH new headquarters, and sucessfully conducted a full commando operation armed with kalasnikovs and a rocket launcher killing 12 people in the process. Illustrator and editor in chief Charb got killed among four other illustrators and one economy journalist. Of course, nobody gives a shit in the media about the two cops, the maintenance guy, the two journalists and the text corrector because only the death of untalented frenchfag illustrators matters, after all.

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  Sharia in Libya: Weather is better than at Lile and we're less disturbed than in New York
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  Life of Muhammad: first part: beginning of a prophet
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  Muhammad being overwhelmed by fundamentalists: Hard being loved by idiots
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  100 lashes if you're not laughing
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  Killing in Egypt: The Koran is shit: it doesn't stop bullets
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  Typical CH headline
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  Untouchables 2: Don't mock. Muhammad, a star is born
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  A stupid film on Islam triggers fundamentalists' rage: Show us an intelligent one and we'll start World War 3
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  Killing at Hebron. Talmud is shit: your guide for the Holocaust business. Fan art trolling Charlie Hebdo (not actual CH front page)

Je suis Charlie

• Everybody reading the story wrong
  Everybody reading the story wrong
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  Dear enemies of freedom of speech, we're pissed: we won't stop drawing.
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  Awww.
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  NO! Our liberty thou cannot kill
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  In the twisted mind of palestine cocksucker Carlos Latuff, an attack launched by muslims is an attack towards muslims.

Moar trolling front pages

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  Enough mucking around! When do we go kick the Arabs' asses?
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  Finally we can say it: Hitler is super cool
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  The cross of happiness: thanks to my cross of happiness, I win at the lotery and I am never impregnated
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  Ass of a Jewish girl: Is racism helps to sell?

See also

• Old media