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Mpreg
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One day, fanfiction writers everywhere wondered "How can we make slash fic even MOAR messed up?" Thus came the birth of Mpreg, which means pregnant male and was most likely inspired by the film Junior, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and a midget.
Of course, if fantards weren't bad enough, Furries had to get into the act to turn this shit up to 11 and add their own Sick Fuck spin on things!
Mpreg OL
Mpreg is extremely popular in the Harry Potter fandom, because being a wizard means you can totally get men knocked up. It is also popular in the Invader Zim fandom, because Zim wears a dress and probably has a vagina. DeviantART and y!Gallery are premiere Mpreg browsing grounds. More often than not, if you are an Mpreg enthusiast, you are also a fan of Snapesnogger or Kamatari-Fan.
Fuckin' creepy.
How to make an Mpreg story
- Take your favorite slash pair.
- Have them fuck, one of them gets pregnant.
- Tell all your fellow middle aged female fanfic fans so they can masturbate.
- ???
- Profit!
The most well-beloved MPreg fanfic is Harry Potter fandom's "Subjugation," where Snape's personality is switched with that of your typical animu uke stereotype and he gets butthurt from being raped over nine thousand times. Seriously, you tell me anyone that wrote twenty-five chapters of this shit isn't batshit crazy.
Although, not nearly as insane as anyone attempting to read this TL;DR piece of crap.
Lulzy Example
—from "Complex" by RobinRocks Go flame! | ||
No fucking shit, Sherlock. The author of this shit Code Geass fanfiction totally ignores the fact that semen inside the ass of a male body can't carry fucking anything except AIDS. But, apparently it's the "very narrow hips" that can't carry a child.
Yet this is the average intelligence of any fucktard that reads/writes mpreg.
A Lulzier Review:
Kill these people with fire.
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snapesnogger strikes again! -
Even the Predator is not safe! -
Vegeta is preggers! -
"I love you, Son Gokuo." -
Male Pregnancy IRL
—O rly? |
It's finally happened. The nightmare has finally come true. Thomas Beatie is the world's first 'pregnant man'.
This was originally though to be an April Fool's Day joke by Fox News. If only.
. . . How???
Thomas used to be a lesbian. We can tell by the neckbeard. It originally decided to become a man because Hawaii does not consider faggots to be equal to humans. However Thomas Beatie is not really a man because it does not have a cock. Before the operation it decided to keep its cunt, which is how it managed to get pregnant in the first place. Thomas is therefore not really a man - just an uglier, hairier, smellier version of the dyke it was before. So it is not only an affront to nature, but a goddamn liar too.
Thomas' faggotry known no bounds. As a lesbian it refused to ride on teh cock - only after it became a 'man' did it look for life-giving semen in an attempt to simulate buttsecks, managing to get knocked-up in the process. The cum is from a donor who wishes to keep his identity a secret. No one blames him. But I'm male and pregnant. :( Oh shit my water broke.
Do-it-yourself mpreg!
This is how to accomplish Mpreg IRL.
- Get a gigantic dildo.
- Grab a Sharpie and draw a smiley face on it.
- Shove it up a random dude's asshole.
- Wait nine months.
- Pull the gigantic dildo out of said dude's asshole.
- Wipe the shit and santorum off of it.
- A WINNAR IS YOU!!!!1111!!!!
Have fun, you sick fuck!
Related videos
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In Furry
furries are sick fucks who also get off on this. However, being furries, it's always over 9000 times worse. In the furry world, mpreg comes in three fruity flavors: Oviposition, regular mpreg and Sex change or TF mpreg.
Commonly mpreg is the product of fags wishing god would repeal the b& on breeding he so rightly made for them. In all reality, mpreg is the reason why god sent Raptor Jesus down to enforce the banhammer on any fags trying to breed anally. The fags BAWWWed, then drew shit like this to flip god the bird.
How do Male Furries get Pregnant?
Glad you asked, you sick fuck:
Facefucking
Since furries love teh cock, life-giving semen is usually guzzled down the throat. The cum then swims around the furry's stomach, implanting itself in the stomach. As the infant grows, the belly expands, giving the impression that the "male" furry is pregnant.
This scenario, however, is unlikely (but all of the shitty fetishes are, amirite?). The swelling is not caused by a developing cub. The belly expands because of the amount of cum the furfags have been guzzling down. You can hear it slosh as it moves.
In the Ass
Since all Mpreg furfags are outrageously gay, they all like to take it in the pooper. How else does the fetus get there? After fucking their partners shitless, a sperm plants itself into the colon (or in some cases, a special womb growing out of the colon), where the baby starts to grow. Since all furries like to see themselves as sexy, they draw themselves with large stomachs instead of the enormous asses they really have.
Getting pregnant in the ass explains why so many furries are gay - they have been dwelling in shit-filled holes since they were conceived. The desire to fuck other males in the ass is really the desire to return to the "womb", the safest place in the world at least until AIDS came along.
Hermaphrodites
Some furries are both male and female. Some manage to impregnate themselves. This is proof that even masturbation doesn't count as safe sex. Often the reason shemale furries manage to impregnate themselves is because nobody in the right mind would fuck them. Not even other furries. And that's saying something.
Of course, there are two kinds of hermaphrodites. There are the kind that have female bodies and both parts downstairs (pictured), and the kind that have male bodies and both parts downstairs, usually called male-herms. Perhaps because they have pussies, male-herms tend to be about 99.9% gay, which would explain their willingness to get knocked up at any and every possible opportunity.
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Count the fetishes, boys and girls! -
Look how happy he is! -
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Never fuck a naga. -
Wait- he has udders?!? -
Snapesnogger would be proud.
External Links
- Mpreg IRL?
- A disgusting Lord of The Rings Fanfiction. Make sure to leave nice comments.
- The Lee Mingwei pregnancy just a hoax
Oh Holy Fuck . . .LOL 500 errorThis fandom is bigger than anyone ever imagined.404 error.- Your typical mpreg fan
See Also
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Mpreg is part of a series on Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage. |
