To, Too, and Two

Much like the more difficult homophone There, Their, and They're, many people (usually those who haven't made it past elementary) tend to mistake To, Too and Two and use them incorrectly. If you don't want to be anally raeped and flamed like a Jew in an oven by that Grammar Nazi mod that has been on you wherever, it is best to know the differences (though you could troll them by misspelling grammar with an "e" instead of an "a").

To

One of the more commonly misused of the group. Keep in mind that to is a preposition and therefore links to nouns and/or pronouns. Additionally, "to" is also an infinitive, which is the beginning form of a verb.

Examples:

• You are going to die alone.
• To you and your non-existent friends, you will all die alone.
• I bet you didn't even go to the prom and instead spent that night fapping to CP while browsing 4chan, you sick fuck!

Too

Along with to, too is also commonly used improperly as much as to is. The word "too" is an adverb, and in case you're too retarded to understand, an adverb is a word that modifies other words/speech so long as they aren't a noun. When using "too", you have to be aware of its multiple definitions; which include being excessive (a lot, too much) or to be included (also, additionally, etc.).

• Your mother is a worthless whore, and you are too.
• Looking at shock images too long will give you better eye vision!

Two

And finally, two, 2, or even II. Though it is has the lowest chance of being mixed with the other two, it usually is used as simply "2" when some 1337 person or those people you see on MySpace who think it's cool/gangsta to misspell everything. As you probably already know (and if you don't, then it's surprising how you even got the computer working), two is a number (and how high you scored on your IQ).

• Your penis is only 2 inches long.
• You have only two hours to live before you are killed.
• Two faggots went to your house to have sex with each other and your mom too.

See Also

• Grammar
• There, Their, and They're
• You're/Your