Allah

God, as worshiped by the Muslims. The slogan "Allah Ackbar" translates literally from the Arabic as "Allah is (Admiral) Ackbar."

God, from Arabic transliteration. So actually there's no difference in saying "God" and "Allah", yet diseased mountain goats like Albanians still prefer the arabic version. Allah's religion is properly referred to as I Slam Beer or simply 'Islam' (Arabic for submission/rape; its adherents are called "Muslims", or sand heroes. The central tenet of Islam is that there are no other gods (e.g., Jesus, Raptor Jesus, Flying Spaghetti Monster, Cthulhu, Mudkips, Etc.) except for Allah and that Mohammad was his prophet. Allah inspires his fanboys around the world to become heroes in his holy name. Fewer fandoms have more devoted followers. See Islam

History

Way before the internets, Mohammad, a towelhead living in the city of Makkah in what is now Saudi Arabia, began to receive IMs from Allah, who was using the screenname "Jibril." The messages were mostly requests to cyber and a/s/l, but Mohammad saw the potential for epic trolling and lulz, so he compiled them into a gigantic Microsoft word document called qur'an.doc. Muhammad distributed it to his Myspace top 10(including Tom) who posted it to a bulletin, causing innumerable flame wars. Eventually, Jihad was declared upon Mr.Jesus. The purpose of which was to spread the word of Allah by any means necessary to the rest of the world.

Interesting Facts

• Allah is the central focus of terrorism.
• Allah promises 72 virgins (most likely traps) if you become an hero for him (Read the Qu'ran for handy bomb making tips, and ways to becoming an hero).
• Allah planned 9/11, and then blamed a mentally retarded Jew named Osama Bin Laden who couldn't tell a bomb from his own left testicle.
• Although forbids the depiction of Mohammad in art, he is commonly depicted in much of the Danish press as an elderly man with a beard, towels wrapped around his head, and a bomb jacket strapped to him.
• In a dream, Mohammad was told by Allah to inform the people that in his honor they shall serve Allah-Carte in all cafeterias in the holy land.
• On 3rd May 2006, Allah became an officially certified pagan moon god.
• Every time Wimpy Kid says bismillah, Allah will go to the Wimpy Kid and bang the Wimpy Kid in the butt.
• Allah works in a black cubicle in Mecca, except for Friday, on Friday he answers prayers and customer complanits.
• Allah is a cousin of Nurgle, and the Brother of Horus.

Friends of Allah

The name of Allah appears mysteriously on a Burger King label in England.

• Osama
• Joe Momma
• Barack Obama
• Musa
• Isa
• Mohammad
• Mohammad Ali
• Mohammad Ali Jinnah
• Mohammad Atta
• Lynndie England
• Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
• Malcolm X
• Saddam Hussein
• Jerry Seinfeld
• Daler Mehndi

Things Allah Hates

Mohammad was not Allah's son, but Mohammad Ali possibly was.

• Denmark
• Israel
• Muhammad Cartoons
• Homosexuals
• Atheists
• Pagans
• Satanists
• The Great Satan
• The Little Satan
• Salmon Rushdie
• You
• Pigs
• Nazi
• Hitler

Things Done in the Name of Allah

• Jihad
• Abu Ghraib
• Holocaust
• Terrorism
• Buttsecks
• Diabeetus
• hentai
• guro
• Sex
• Humans
• Porn

Things Done by Jews

• 9/11
• Lollercaust(Gave Us Good Lulz)

See Also

• Circumcision
• E-Jihad
• God
• Islam
• Mujahideen Video

Allah is part of a series on Truth Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage.