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Allah: Difference between revisions
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{{ | {{OffendedMuslims}} | ||
[[God]], | [[Image:Allah Ackbar.jpg|150px|thumb|right|God, as worshiped by the Muslims. The slogan "Allah Ackbar" translates literally from the Arabic as "Allah is [[Admiral Ackbar|(Admiral) Ackbar]]."]] | ||
'''Allah''' is the sand-language word for ''God'', and almost universally refers to the '''God of Raep and Terrorism worshipped in Islam'''. Technically speaking, there is no difference in saying "God" and "Allah", and some Arab Christian use the word to describe [[God|Normal God]]. In reality however, Allah is very different from God, as God is generally displeased by [[terrorism]]. Allah's "[[religion]]" is properly referred to as I Slam Beer or simply '[[Islam]]' (Arabic for submission/[[rape]]). Its adherents are called "[[Muslims]]" (or ''sand [[heroes]]''). The central tenet of Islam is that there are no other gods (e.g., [[Jesus]], [[Raptor Jesus]], [[Flying Spaghetti Monster]], [[Cthulhu]], [[Mudkips]], [[Etc|Etc.]]) except for Allah and that [["Prophet" Muhammad|Muhammad]] was his [[profit|prophet]]. Allah inspires his [[fanboys]] around the world to become [[an_hero|heroes]] in his holy name, but only if it involves killing a shitload of other people in the process. Fewer [[fandom|fictional characters]] have more [[fundamentalist|devoted]] followers than Allah. When Muslims mention Allah, they must say ''Subhanahu wa taʿala'' - abbreviated as ''SAW'' - each time (the phrase means "May he be praised and exalted"). The punishment for failing to do this is [[death]]. | |||
<br> | |||
(See [[Islam]] for more) | |||
==History== | ==History== | ||
[[Way before the internets]], | [[Way before the internets]], Muhammad, a [[Arab|towelhead]] living in the city of Makkah in what is now [[Saudi Arabia]], began to receive [[AIM|IM]]s from Allah, who was using the screenname "Jibril." The messages were mostly [[pedophilia|requests to cyber and a/s/l]], but Mohammad aka the founder kebab saw the potential for [[epic]] [[trolling]] and [[lulz]], so he compiled them into a gigantic [[Microsoft]] word document called qur'an.doc. Muhammad distributed it to his [[Myspace]] top 10(including [[Tom Anderson|Tom]]) who posted it to a bulletin, causing innumerable [[Flamewar|flame wars]]. Eventually, Jihad was declared upon [[Jesus|Mr.Jesus]]. The purpose of which was to spread the word of [[Senator Barack Hussein Obama|Allah]] by any means necessary to the rest of the world. | ||
==Interesting Facts== | ==Interesting Facts== | ||
* Allah is the central focus of terrorism. | * Allah is the central focus of terrorism. | ||
* Allah promises 72 virgins (most likely [[Trap|traps]]) if you become [[an hero]] for him (Read the Qu'ran for handy bomb making tips, and ways to becoming [[an hero]]). | * Allah promises 72 virgins (most likely [[Trap|traps]]) if you become [[an hero]] for him (Read the Qu'ran for handy bomb making tips, and ways to becoming [[an hero]]). Most male suicide bombers get 72 virgins BUT THEY ARE ALL MALE VIRGINS. | ||
* Allah planned [[9/11]], and then blamed a mentally retarded Jew named [[Osama Bin Laden]] who couldn't tell a bomb from his own left testicle. | * Allah planned [[9/11]], and then blamed a mentally retarded American Jew named [[Osama Bin Laden]] who couldn't tell a bomb from his own left testicle. | ||
* Although forbids the depiction of [[Mohammad]] in art, he is commonly depicted in much of the Danish press as an elderly man with a beard, towels wrapped around his head, [[Terrorism|and a bomb jacket strapped to him.]] | * Although forbids the depiction of [[Mohammad]] in art, he is commonly depicted in much of the Danish press as an elderly man with a beard, towels wrapped around his head, [[Terrorism|and a bomb jacket strapped to him.]] | ||
* In a dream, [[Mohammad]] was told by Allah to inform the people that in his honor they shall serve Allah-Carte in all cafeterias in the holy land. | * In a dream, [[Mohammad]] was told by Allah to inform the people that in his honor they shall serve Allah-Carte in all cafeterias in the holy land. | ||
*On 3rd May 2006, Allah became an officially certified pagan moon god. | *On 3rd May 2006, Allah became an officially certified pagan moon god. | ||
*Every time Wimpy Kid says bismillah, Allah will go to the Wimpy Kid and bang the Wimpy Kid [[in the butt]]. | *Every time Wimpy Kid says bismillah, Allah will go to the Wimpy Kid and bang the Wimpy Kid [[in the butt]]. | ||
*Allah works in a black cubicle in Mecca, except for Friday, on Friday he answers prayers and customer complanits. | |||
*Allah is a cousin of Nurgle, and the Brother of Horus. | |||
==Friends of Allah== | ==Friends of Allah== | ||
[[Image:Allahburgerking.jpg|thumb|right|The name of Allah appears [[It is a mystery|mysteriously]] on a Burger King label in [[England]].]] | |||
* [[Osama bin Laden|Osama]] | * [[Osama bin Laden|Osama]] | ||
* [[Your mom|Joe Momma]] | * [[Your mom|Joe Momma]] | ||
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* [[Saddam Hussein]] | * [[Saddam Hussein]] | ||
* [[Jerry Seinfeld]] | * [[Jerry Seinfeld]] | ||
* [[tunak|Daler Mehndi]] | * [[tunak|Daler Mehndi]] | ||
==Things Allah [[H8|Hates]]== | ==Things Allah [[H8|Hates]]== | ||
[[Image:ali.gif|thumb|right|Mohammad was not Allah's son, but Mohammad Ali possibly was.]] | |||
* [[Denmark]] | * [[Denmark]] | ||
* [[Israel]] | * [[Israel]] | ||
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* [[Nazi]] | * [[Nazi]] | ||
* [[Hitler]] | * [[Hitler]] | ||
==Things Done in the Name of Allah== | ==Things Done in the Name of Allah== | ||
[[Image:holyshiite.png|thumb|right|Holy Shiite!]] | |||
* [[Jihad]] | * [[Jihad]] | ||
* [[Iraq|Abu Ghraib]] | * [[Iraq|Abu Ghraib]] | ||
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* [[Buttsecks]] | * [[Buttsecks]] | ||
* [[Diabeetus]] | * [[Diabeetus]] | ||
* [[ | * [[Rape]] | ||
* [[ | * [[Bestiality|Goat Rape]] | ||
* [[Furries]] | |||
* [[Aspie]]s | |||
* [[You]] | |||
* [[ | |||
* [[ | |||
* [[ | |||
==Things Done by [[Jews]]== | ==Things Done by [[Jews]]== | ||
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{{islam}} | {{islam}} | ||
{{truth}} | {{truth}} | ||
