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{{achtung|'''Maddox lost lololololololololololololololololololololololololol!'''}}
{{spoilers|THE RETARD FUCKING LOST HIS LOLSUIT WITH [[Dick Masterson]] PRESS S TO SPIT!!!}}
[[Image:Maddox irl.jpg|thumb|right|auto|Maddox, indoctrinating his [[neckbeard]] fanbase into becoming [[Cuckoldry|cucks]].]]
[[File:Nobodylovesmaddox.jpg|thumb|Maddox's trip to Thailand really inspired him to [[tranny|transition]]]]
[[Image:Maddox-links.png|thumb|Maddox is a true connoisseur of [[CTRL_ALT_Delete|humor]].]]
{{quote|No girl thinks I'm cute. I'm repulsive. I'm hideous.|The only truthful thing he has ever said.}}
[[Image:Dickmastersonlulz.jpg|thumb|300px|Dick's iconic appearance on Dr. Phil]]
<b>[[powerword|George Ouzounian]]</b>, known by his pen name '''Maddox''', is a pioneer of [[troll]]ing, [[flame|flaming]], and [[unwarranted self importance]] on the Internet. At least he was this person <s>four</s> <s>eight</s> '''''20''''' years ago, and when his stupid evil asshole personality was still believed to have been an 'in-character gag'. However, like most internet-famous 'comedians' it turned out his act wasn't an act at all, and he genuinely was being [[retarded]] for attention. Despite his shtick being so yesterday, his influence on early lulz is nothing short of notable. [[Noobs]] should read his earlier articles to learn how to properly flame, but nothing post-2005. That’s when he started to [[The Internet is serious business|get serious]] and his writing really went to shit.
[[File:Dickmasterson.jpg|thumb|right|God among men]]
Most non-[[retards]] will notice that much of Maddox's content is incredibly [[unfunny]], pointing out [[obvious]] [[shit nobody cares about|things]] that [[internets]] users already know. He's also a [[faggot|pirate]], something he makes very clear... to the point that he'll try to deceive you into thinking he's a '''''straight''''' pirate by shoving his dick in your face, fooling no one. His inability to come across as a [[badass]] is best demonstrated by simply looking at him - he's nothing more than a [[neckbeard|neckbearded]], basement dwelling, [[angry|rage-filled]], sexually repressed [[NEET]]. So, why hasn't this dumbass made a fucking [[fursona]] yet? And that's when you realise something: there's virtually nothing separating him from that [[furfag]] [[2 gryphon|2 The Ranting Gryphon]] in terms of comedy writing.
'''Dick Masterson''' (aka [[Powerword|Dax Herrera]]), is a messenger from [[God]] sent to [[troll|enlighten]] [[women]] around the world about why everything sucks [[this is why we can't have nice things|because of them]], and this consequently makes him the greatest human being alive. His [[Trolling IRL|IRL trolling]] is not only noteworthy for the [[lulz]] it has generated over the years, but the fact that so many fall for such obvious bait creates a weird meta-troll effect where he's proven right due to the hordes of butthurt bitches left in his path. His trolling never just stopped at pissing off wimminz though, motivated via the vindictive antics of [[Maddox|a certain former associate of his]], he took his trolling to new heights by engaging in some of the biggest [[shitpost]]s in his career, including entertaining [[Maddox#The_Biggest_Lolsuit_in_the_Universe_.28AKA:_George_Ouzounian_et_al_-_v._-_Dax_Herrera_et_al.29|Maddox's $380 million lolsuit]].
Maddox is also an author, with one disavowed New York Times Best Seller [[Shit_Nobody_Cares_About|and two more novels that nobody cares about]]. He has also enjoyed a second wind of success with a comedy podcast, ''The Biggest Problem In The Universe'', with former business partner [[Dick Masterson]]. This fell apart after 107 episodes, when Maddox became an [[SJW]] and threw an autistic tantrum over Dick fucking his ex-girlfriend from over three years ago (all while he was dating someone else already). The actions taken by Maddox after May 31st, 2016 made him go from innovator, to unfunny, to bonafide [[lol-cow]] right up there with Hall of Famers like [[DarksydePhil]] and [[Tom Preston]].
Dick Masterson is also a CalTech honors graduate with a doctorate in rocket science. [https://web.archive.org/web/20201112034052/http://ucbcomedy.com/user/16155 No, seriously!] [http://thedickshow.com/episode-48/ he actually talked about making rockets and drones that kill terrorists for his day job]. Sorry ladies, so much for him being a retard that doesn't have any clue what he is talking about. When a butthurt psychobitch snitched on him, writing to his family and employers to cut off his penis, it was soon revealed his employer could care less since rocket scientists weren't exactly commonplace, he kept doing whatever he wanted to, living his life like the drunken degenerate virgin king supreme.
<center>''Welcome to the Maddox article, faggots!<br>just like Maddox's life, it will never get any better!''</center>
So, women despise him, men and [[btard|/b/tards]] want to BE him, and [[troll]]s ''WISH'' they could be him. God bless you Dax Herrera, consider this ED article as your #1 fanpage.
<br>
== TL;DR ==
==Early Career==
===Website===
[[File:Faggot.jpg|thumb|Dick Masterson's final form]]
[[At least 100 years ago]], Dick owned a website titled menarebetterthanwomen.com, through which he shared his infinite [[bullshit|wisdom]] with fellow [[asshole]]s and [[Man|chauvinist]]s on the internet. Having an advanced degree in Dickology, Dick has written many classic works, including this list of reasons on why [[fact|men are way better than women]], something he would turn into a bestseller on and even translated that into a #1 bestselling book on Amazon. The site has remained inactive as of 2010, largely due to the popularity of the video media he produced for [[JewTube]].
[[TL;DR|Maddox's long list of failure and faggotry will take forever to read through, since it's been growing exponentially for years]]. Luckily, some EDiot made a video highlighting the most important stuff. Now you don't have to dig through years of Maddox's shitty life. You're welcome.
'''Dick:''' ''women line up to go out with me!''<br>
'''[[whore|Her]]:''' ''I don't see any women lining up to go out with you, and even if there were, I would be at the end of that line.''<br>
'''Dick:''' ''Well if you hit the treadmill more, you'd be at the front.''
<center>{{frame|<youtube>nP1gkCTvR4Y</youtube>
This is an example of a technique Dick pioneered known as the "Verbal Cunt Punt" or VCP for short. It allows dick to turn raging [[Feminazis]] back into respectable women without the need to punch or kick their filthy untouched snatches.
<center><b>1+ hour long TL;DR of 40% of the Maddox/Dick Masterson drama</b></center>|border=black|background=#ff8000}}</center>
==How George became Maddox==
<center>Top 10 Reasons why Men are Better than Women</center>
===Early life===
[[Image:maddox_trying_to_recoup_his_losses.jpg|thumb|left|auto|Maddox selling oranges in the war-torn slums of Armenia]]
[[File:Maddoxwithgirl.jpg|thumb|right|300px|[[Tom Green]]-era Maddox with some bitch. This was back when he had hair.]]
Maddox grew up in poverty, raised in mud huts of [[Armenia]]. It was during these years Maddox became the [[nu-male|manly man]] he is today. It didn't matter [[Daddy issues|his father was a ballsy jackass he never knew]]. It didn't matter that his mother hates him (and still does to this day). George transformed, but [[Tranny|not in the way you'd expect]]. He found his love for [[homosexuality|manliness]], [[cock|beef jerky]], [[semen|vinegar]], and [[bear|lumberjacks]]. Moreover, he realized his hatred for everything else. [[Emos]], [[McDonald's]], [[Apple|iPhones]], Cameron Diaz, the works. [[buttsecks|He had a big stick up his ass, and he wants you to know it]]. Of course, hating things alone doesn't make you that manly. That's not important. His penis raged with [[unwarranted self-importance]]. At some point he dropped out of college like he dropped out of his mother's snatch, on the head. Please give him sympathy, he only failed his undergrad maths exam three times (lol).
==="Adult" life and creation of The Best Page in the Universe===
<center>
[[File:Maddoxkindagay.jpg|right|220px|thumb|Maddox at his telemarketing job, massaging his jaw after sucking [[black dick|Tyrone's dick]].]]
Maddox had only one real job as of April 2018: [[telemarketing]], the easiest job to both get and manage. He spent his early to mid-twenties [http://www.dictionary.com/browse/keysmash?s=t keysmashing] and attempting to code whatever it is those guys code. Though his experience as a [[1337]] [[haxxor|h@xz0rz]] is one of Maddox's many bragging points, he's not as technologically sophisticated as he'd like you to believe. These days all he can do in terms of programming is enable no-clip on [[Team Fortress 2]]. His coding abilities stretch back to the late 90s when the Internet was new to everyone, yet he still boasts about how awesome of a coder he is today by programming an HTML document from scratch in Notepad when most people were using Dreamweaver. How fucking manly.
|{{colortext|#00007f|'''Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do.'''}}|10. Men have penises
|{{colortext|#00007f|'''Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day.'''}}|9. Marriage is stupid
By 2004, Maddox quit his job, dropped out of college (even though he was one test away from getting a math degree), and stopped going to the gay bar in his homestate of [[mormon|Utah]]. Why? He wanted to be a comedy writer. Despite the fact that [[unfunny|he wasn't funny]], this must have seemed like a good idea at the time. And as a result, he devoted his full focus to a website he created in high school, entitled [[lie|'The Best Page in the Universe.']] The rest, as they say, was history.
|{{colortext|#00007f|'''Men are natural destroyers. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!'''}}|8. Boys destroy things
|{{colortext|#00007f|'''Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.'''}}|7. Men wear watches
Because Maddox's [[autism|exceptionality]] made him prioritise petty shit, The Best Page in the Universe has no ads. If you ever bring it up, he'll talk all day bragging about how much money he wasted by implementing [[AdBlock]] on his own fucking website, because the user experience really matters that much to him. But he can't be much of a moralfag these days, Maddox is forced to [[shill]] for [[BeCandid|anybody and anything]] that will offer him a few bucks. He rarely receives payment from sponsors (for reasons discussed below), but he still refuses to place ads on his gay website. Imagine feeling prideful for being [[poor]]. [[le sigh|Good fucking grief]].
|{{colortext|#00007f|'''Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.'''}}|6. Men write illegibly
|{{colortext|#00007f|'''Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit.'''}}|5. Men live less than women
==The Best Formula For [[unfunny|Funny]] [[blog|Article]] Writing in the Universe™==
|{{colortext|#00007f|'''Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred.'''}}|4. Women are racists
# When thinking of topics, there's one rule of thumb: the more petty, the more funny. Write an article about [http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=pepperoni how much you hate pizza toppings], or [http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=idaho_blows how you hate Idaho], or [http://maddox.xmission.com/c.cgi?u=lovin_it how you hate fast food ad campaigns]. The more pointless your topics are, the more funny your writing will be.
|{{colortext|#00007f|'''Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires.'''}}|3. Men are not sponges
# Type a billion paragraphs about this topic. No normal person would write [http://maddox.xmission.com/c.cgi?u=garfield_sucks this much about Garfield], right? That's the funny part! It's so petty that it’s funny! But in the 1% chance what you're writing isn't funny, add a [[over 9000|shit ton]] of insults and swear words (shitheads, dipshits, fucking idiots, etc.), and target them at the topic. Fuck shitty ass dip dip idiot fucker! You need to sound like you're better than what you’re writing about, so add terms for male and female genitalia. [[gay|Saying “penis” once per sentence]] makes you sound mature.
|{{colortext|#00007f|'''I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues.'''}}|2. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome
# Draw some pictures with [[MS Paint]] ([http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=faq no, seriously]) that further illustrate the points in your hilarious rant people are totally still reading.
|{{colortext|#00007f|'''Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.'''}}|1. [[Jesus]] was a Man
# Put in some sentences [[Unwarranted Self-Importance|reaffirming how right you are and how badass you are for being right]]. Everything you’re writing is God’s gift to the [[sheeple|herd of sheep that's humanity]]. That's right! You're basically [[Moses]] for [http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=iphone ranting about cell phones]!
}}|border=#00007f|background=#6666ff}}
# If you really want to put some extra effort in, definitely make a .gif animation! Things that move on a page composed mostly of text makes it funny and interesting! [[At_least_100_Years_Ago|(twenty years ago)]]
# Add a view counter at the bottom of each page. [[nobody|People]] still care about how many views a website gets, trust me.
# [[???]]
# [[PROFIT!]]
# To continue the overflow of [[jew gold|traffic nickels]], make sure to set up your apartment like a pigsty. It'll boost up productivity, especially for an awesome genius like you! Look below for an example, provided by (no joke) the real Maddox!
One of Maddox's most enduring characteristics is his intense hostility against everyone, including and especially his own fans, because being an insufferable cunt to people actually interested in your work is the best way to further your career. You might be forgiven for thinking this is him acting in character a la [[AVGN]], but no. He flames, belittles and begrudges his own fanbase at every opportunity he gets, and that's ever more apparent since his exposure to social networking. This has understandably resulted in his appearances at cons or public events being met with overwhelming apathy, and that's if they still remember who this balding pasty [[basement-dweller]] even is. He will spend hours deleting comments on any site that will allow him to do this, and waste even more time blocking the people who leave them. Hell, back in the heyday of his website, he went as far as to [http://maddox.xmission.com/hatemail.cgi?p=1#REMOVED publish someone's email address for sending him hate mail from work, causing his fans to harass the guy en masse.]
So to summarize the story so far: you have the very incarnation of an [[internet tough guy]] riding on his fifteen minutes of fame, and he's bragging about how amazing he is while simultaneously antagonizing anybody who interacts with him, whether positively or negatively.
Hopefully, he lives up to the lofty expectations of the kind of badass he portrays himself to be, because if he doesn't, he might look fucking ridiculous. <big>'''OH WAIT...'''</big>
==Maddox gets trolled by Penn Jillette==
<!--[[File:Maddox.png|thumb|right|250px|Part elitist. Part fag. 100% [[manboy]].]]-->
{{quote|The Best Page in the Universe is a website on which Maddox, [[fact|who is no spring chicken]], spouts his predictable, angry middle-aged man rants on just about everything. He says his site has gotten more than 270,000 hits. So, what's his biggest whiny ass complaint about senior citizens?|Penn Jillette|Penn & Teller: Bullshit! S8E8}}
July 29th, [[2010]]: Maddox made it. Oh boy, did he make it.
[https://sonichu.com/cwcki/Sonic_the_Hedgehog_Watch_%26_Win_Sweepstakes Much like another infamous lol-cow], Maddox was on the tubes for one whole minute. He was on a show called ''[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penn_%26_Teller:_Bullshit! Penn & Teller: Bullshit!]'' by [[Penn and Teller|Penn Jillette and some other faggot]]. He went on the show to whine about old people and how stinky they are. Watch the clip below or [http://thepiratebay.org/torrent/5726255/Penn.and.Teller.Bullshit.S08E08.HDTV.XviD-SYS go torrent it].
The show's research team was busy smearing their assholes on the printer when some [[retard]] had a brilliant idea. Why not round up bloggers who have no idea what they're talking about and having Penn and Teller troll them for an episode to make them appear e-savvy to [[normies]]. It just so happened Maddox fit this criteria, and so he made it on the show. Behold! [[Internet_Tough_Guy|The first ever appearance of the world-renowned badass heavyweight intellectual when he isn't hiding behind a keyboard!]]
<center>{{frame|<youtube>LL_j6E1uV5U</youtube>
<center>'''Maddox you look like you haven't had a shower or seen sunlight since 2003 stfu'''</center>|border=black|background=#ff8000}}</center>
Maddox's eagerness to get [[unrealistic expectations|infinite blowjobs]] from Penn and Teller's fanboys ended up being a [[footbullet]]. Penn, realizing both the obvious (Maddox is as old as the people he calls gross) and the incredibly obvious (Maddox is too up his own ass to see the irony of him insulting old people), blew him the fuck out and told him to [[GTFO]]. Five years later, Maddox would make a [https://youtu.be/8_KNAoWXv0g belated video response] to their arguments. On his blog [http://maddox.xmission.com/c.cgi?u=penn_teller_bullshit post] he said the reason he waited so long was [[lies|to prevent Penn's show getting further publicity]]. Because if there's one thing a well-known Las Vegas magician duo that's been performing since the 1970s needs, it's the 'publicity' you get from your shitty internet-famous blog. Right, dumbass?
This could've caused Maddox to realize he can only properly play his persona through text and that he should '''never''' be in front of a camera.
This did not happen.
==Shows==
===The Best Show in the Universe===
December 9th, [[2008]]: Maddox announced all the time he spent not updating his site wasn't just spent on [[Coomer|jacking off]] to [[hentai]]. He had been working on a show, uncreatively called ''The Best Show in the Universe''. If you've been paying attention, you'd know that this wasn't a television show, but a YouTube show! News of this came via [http://maddox.xmission.com/c.cgi?u=best_show an update on his website], where he simultaneously criticizes YouTube for being shit while advertising his YouTube show. He's not just three years late on making a YouTube series, but he's also a [[hypocrite]]. Great job, Maddox.
Two years after he posted this update, Maddox did what [[retards]], [[faggots]], and [[Chris-chan]] did in a matter of mere hours: post a poorly-made video on YouTube.
Unsuprisingly, Maddox plagiarises himself in this video. He took the concept of making fun of children's artwork (a dead horse concept in Maddox lore) and rehashed it almost beat by beat. But it's different though. This time, he's making of children singing videos, not drawings. It's not the same idea, but it resembles the concept enough that the results stay the same.
{{rainbowsmall|HILARIOUS AND ORIGINAL}}
You'll notice something when you watch this video: Maddox's [[internet_tough_guy|tough guy]] act is significantly less impactful and funny when you can see what he looks like, and even less funny when combined with his nasally, whiny-bitch voice. Maddox never understood the difference between video and text, or how much a change in media may influence an audience's perception. You'd almost feel bad if Maddox's lack of self-awareness if he was capable of making somewhat half-decent content, but he doesn't.
He'd go on to make more of these, sometimes accompanying each new uploaded video with an article on his blog, which may or may not have addendums or [[Shit_Nobody_Cares_About|bonus content]]. It doesn't improve the viewing experience, just trust us.
[[File:Maddoxonfb2.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Maddox, realizing that [[Dick Masterson]] was a [[Sick_Fuck|'rape apologist']], did what any socially conscious person would do: choose to work with him for over ten years and ''then'' point fingers at him once he starts banging your ex.]]
May 20th, 2014: Maddox gets a second chance through ''The Biggest Problem in the Universe'' podcast with [[Dick Masterson]], an infamous [[IRL troll]] he met through their mutual book publisher, Simon and [[Shill]]-ster. The premise of this podcast was so simple, even someone with [[Down syndrome]] could understand it: Maddox and Dick would bring in problems, dispute whether or not they were actual problems, and then leave it up to fans to vote on which was the bigger problem on some website. Voting would result in a list of the universe's "biggest problems." The problems are detailed below.
The show was [[awwright]] in the beginning. Dick played to his strengths and would often use Maddox's [[moralfag|moralfaggotry]] and hubris as punchlines at his expense until time ran out. As the show progressed to over 100+ episodes, the vote moved more towards Dick's problems, causing Maddox to get [[butthurt|salty]] over Dick's surge in popularity over him. Combine that with Maddox and Dick's obviously strained relationship (Dick even claimed that the only reason he continued to do the podcast was for the fans and money), and you have a lot of insecurity building up.The tension reached its peak when Maddox discovered Dick had fucked his ex-girlfriend three years ago. [[Fact|This was the moment that defined the rest of Maddox's career]]
After that, he cancelled the show. On the last episode, Dick wasn’t there. His absence said more than Maddox will ever admit.
Three months later, Dick and Maddox made separate podcasts. Dick had ''The Dick Show'', a really good show where Dick, his audio engineer Sean, goons, and guests shoot the shit for two hours. Maddox has ''The Best Debate In The Universe'', an embarrassingly shit debate show that is a shadow of what came before it. ''The Dick Show'' makes over $20,000 per month through [[Patreon]] donations, while ''The Best Debate in the Universe'', along with Maddox's "[[bullshit|other projects and priorities]]", makes roughly $200 per month. The fact that Dick's popularity overshadowed and undermined Maddox made him very, very [[butthurt|jealous]]. So, over the next several years he would engage in a laundry list of tomfuckery:
* Maddox redirected the [[RSS]] feed of the old show to his new, awful show.
* All the bonus episodes (that you had to pay to listen to) were uploaded and released for free without Dick's permission.
* Maddox made a video hit piece against Dick, accusing him of some supremely retarded shit.
* Maddox a video on his private Facebook account with all of Dick and Maddox's mutual [[SJW]] comedian friends, causing Dick's reputation to be ruined in this circle.
* He had his girlfriend, Metal Jess ([[powerword|Jessica Blum]]), call and complain to his ex-girlfriend's school to make her lose her teaching job.
* He filed a lawsuit against Dick Masterson, Joshua Kaufman, Asterios, [[Patreon]], Foundation Digital LLC among others for '''$20,000,000.'''
<big>'''ALL BECAUSE DICK FUCKED HIS EX'''</big>
On ''The Dick Show'', Maddox's schemes and Dick's reactions to them would often become the main narrative of ''The Dick Show'', with every guest mentioning Maddox at least in passing. The clips in the videos below are some of the best that came out of the drama.
<center>{{frame|
{{videoframe|BOTDFvids|font-weight: bold;|
|<youtube>_mnA1lm-48U</youtube>
|<youtube>uW82uPtV4uI</youtube>
|}}|border=black|background=#ff8000}}
</center>
</center>
===The Best <s>Show</s> Debate in the Universe===
===Dr. Phil===
Did you not like the old show? Do you like unfunny, unwitty banter? Do you like listening to debates about topics everyone and their mother has already talked about? Do you need something to drown out the sound of [[girlfriend|your significant other]] [[cuckoldry|having sex with]] [[nigger|another person]]? Look no further than ''The Best Debate in the Universe''!
[[File:humanthumb.jpg|300px|thumb|right|Dr. Phil without makeup]]
[[Image:Fat-and-pwnd.gif|thumb|A typical reaction to the truth. Fucking priceless.]]
{{天|[[fanboy|Users]] editing another wiki entirely have spent way more time documenting this bit of internet history<br/><small>[https://dickipedia.fandom.com/wiki/Dick_on_Dr._Phil you can check that out here]</small>|hackinghacker.gif|180px|Gainsboro|50%}}
Listen to Maddox, edgelord and parody musician [[Rucka Rucka Ali]], e-celeb guests, and [[shit no one cares about|people no one gives a shit about]] as they debate on stuff only [[9gag]] users would find funny and controversial! Spend an entire hour listening to Maddox do what he's best at: being annoying!
Possibly the most well known and prodigious first appearance of Dick Masterson would have been his very first appearance on [[Dr. Phil]], a [[HelLA|Los Angeles]]-based tabloid talk show hosted by the human thumb from Spy Kids. Dick appeared as his bombastic, chauvinistic self as a featured guest, and once again on the Dr. Phil House mini-series, amid a slew of other guests with similar views. This was essentially a trashy reality TV show where people are exploited for the entertainment of the [[stupid|low-IQ viewers]] watching that shit. Dick's steadfast approach to criticism as well as his magnetic charisma cemented him as an agent provocateur, inciting self-professed feminists to express their true feelings and views. He simply states a general view about women, and then [[feminazi]]s, [[dyke]]s and [[faggots]] bombard him with death and castration threats, often accompanied by a [[irony|generalized claim about men]], at which point he exploited their own views [[i did it for the lulz|for the lulz]].
This podcast is awful. Don't listen to it, you'd be wasting your time.
Dr. Phil was so humiliated by the episodes, according to Dick, that he ordered the House of Judgement segments to be cut months after their initial airing, and were eventually [[deleted|BAWWWleeted]] from the Dr. Phil archive. Later it was revealed that Shirley Dieu (a fictionalized and faked personality created solely for Dick to poke fun at) revealed she had sued Dr. Phil for deceptive business practices and a range of other issues. She revealed that everyone's possessions were confiscated by the production team (including their cell phones), the catering was intentionally terrible and all the guests were forced to share the same bathrooms. Possibly the most egregious thing that happened during filming was a random naked guy literally showing up and exposing their genitalia to the contestants.
==Books==
Dick placed a $1,000 bounty for the original cuts of the show, which he honored when some [[Sweden|Sweedish]] dickhead somehow ripped a copy from the Swedish National Archive of Recorded Sound and Moving Images, which you can see below.
[[File:Alphabet.png|200px|thumb|left|The new special edition cover of Maddox's only successful book]]
|<youtube>nGDF5Y0AkrU</youtube> '''Episode 1: Dick on Treadmills'''
[[File:Cisfor.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Remember, sexual assault is incompatible with the values of New York Times Best Selling author George “Maddox” Ouzounian if he’s not teaching you how to do it.]]
|<youtube>GHhzZLEmE2s</youtube> '''Episode 2: Dick on Single Mothers'''
[[File:Maddoxarmpit.gif|200px|thumb|Maddox with his ''Alphabet of Manliness'' chain. Gross.]]
|<youtube>1jYi6uanPzY</youtube> '''Episode 3: Dick on a Boatload of Emotional Women'''
[[File:George-Feminismassailt.jpg|200px|thumb|left|Remember kids, Maddox is a proud [[feminist]].]]
|<youtube>QqJSnVcb4Js</youtube> '''Episode 4: Dick on Drawing Conclusions'''
{{quote|Why should people buy anything I sell? I don't know why anyone should buy anything.|Maddox on how [[capitalism]] works.}}
|<youtube>T0xoKiH8JJM</youtube> '''"Female anger is the weathervane of truth"'''
|<youtube>htzdo0FBBYk</youtube> '''[[Godhand Edit|FUCK YES YOU ARE THE BEST MAN EVER]]'''
|<youtube>O6W6n9gsrqQ</youtube> '''"Should have stayed in the kitchen where you were safe"'''
|<youtube>1EsLC5FD8R4</youtube> '''"You're paying for the whore to leave"'''}}
[[666|June 6, 2006]]: Maddox released his first book, ''The Alphabet of Manliness'', in an effort to pay for the huge amount of Nair needed to remove his disgusting back hair. The book skyrocketed on [[The New York Times]] Best Sellers List, reaching #2 on the “Advice, How-To, and [[shit nobody cares about|Miscellaneous]]” category. If there’s anyone [[libtards]] consider an authority on manliness, it’s a balding, haggard, middle aged basement dwelling blogger. [[Paul Joseph Watson|Imagine our shock]].
== The Biggest Problem in the Universe ==
[[File:e69_erin2.jpg|thumb|right|The polarity between the hosts masculinity is uncanny af]]
[[File:Maddoxgrinch.jpg|thumb|right|Then he got an idea. An awful idea. The cuck got a wonderful, ''awful'' idea!]]
On May 20th, 2014, Masterson started a podcast called [http://thebiggestproblemintheuniverse.com The Biggest Problem in the Universe] with co-host and mutual acquaintance [[Maddox]]. The Podcast was pretty pretty [[awwright]] at the beginning, but what made the show lulzy was that the entire premise of the show was Dick trolling the shit out of this [[autistic]] 40 year old balding [[Armenian]] [[cuck]], bringing his overbearingly masculine shit-talking game to the fore and instigating massive chimpouts from his co-host. Over time, the show's fanbase gravitated towards Dick, voting his problems over Maddox's. While Dick really didn't give a shit since this show was just a framing device to allow them to air their pet peeves, Maddox would take this personally and seethe with anger whenever it was brought up. Things that Dick talked about include:
*Getting so drunk he took a shit in his fathers pants
*Only doing cool drugs
*Never using condoms during sex
*Talking about how global warming is made up
*Talking about how swearing and saying retard isn't cool
*White knighting for female guest and getting his jimmies rustled when called out for being a white knight
*Forcing Maddox to watch Titanic every time he brought a problem that was shit
''The Alphabet of Manliness'' serves as an encyclopedia for men, [[Encyclopedia_dramatica|which we naturally consider to be a grotesque affront to our very existence]]. The book covers many hyper-masculine topics from [[gay|how shitty women are]] to [[faggot|how great men are]]. There’s even a chapter in which Maddox teaches you how to cook [[meth]], like he’s the [[Breaking Bad|Heisenberg]] of cucks. It is the quintessence of everything you thought was funny a couple years ago, like [[doge]] images or [[Chuck Norris]] memes, the latter of which having a chapter dedicated to. Maddox’s comedic prowess matches him with that of a [[Hot Topic]] shirt.
<center><youtube>lNZ-Njp1YCw</youtube></center>
<s>Despite this book being to satire what [[Zoe Quinn]] or [[Brianna Wu|Literally Who]] is to game development, it sold very well. This was an unexpected victory for someone like Maddox. This is something he can be proud of look back on in pride. He went beyond trivial blogging and made a career for himself on his own terms. Anyone can think anything about Maddox, but this can be at least respected. Maddox can have everything else in his life taken away from him, but no one can touch the memory of his taste of genuine success.</s>
On May 31st, 2016, Maddox abruptly cancelled the successful 107 episode Podcast (not including bonus content) due to Maddox being upset that Dick was having sex with his ex girlfriend (whom Maddox had been broken up with for 3 years, and happened while he was already dating his current live in girlfriend). Being [[cuck]]ed by Masterson, he killed the podcast and begun to wage a never-ending war to ruin Dick's personal and professional reputation. On September 25th, 2016, [[Maddox]] posted a character assassination video in which he attempted to spin an innocuous statement by Masterson, where he stated that if a [[whore|woman]] fell asleep in a bar, she should expect to be taken sexual advantage of because it is a natural consequence of the situation. With this dogwhistle the helldogs of the [[SJW]] world descended upon him, leading to his dismissal from [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Upright_Citizens_Brigade Upright Citizen's Brigade] [[snca|(some gay improv group in NYC)]]. Dick refused to disown any of his work, even in the face of threats, and stood by every word he has ever written on his website and in his book (unlike Maddox, who did).
<big><u><b>[[HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS]]!! MADDOX DISAVOWED HIS ONLY SUCCESSFUL BOOK!!!!</b></u></big>
<big>[https://web.archive.org/web/20161102004143/https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OeW4m76E7S0 '''YOU CAN SEE THAT VIDEO HERE, BECAUSE THE SMELLY FAGGOT PRIVATED THE VIDEO''']</big>
In a facebook post [[at least 100 years ago]] [[last thursday]], Maddox made the following post on his facebook account:
Some time after the drama reddit user {{reddituser|Antoids}} unleashed the full force of his autism and painstakingly edited every single episode of the podcast to reveal a slew of content that was cut from production. Most of it was Maddox incomprehensibly stammering like Porky Pig, but there were still large chunks of stuff removed where Dick was either laughing at Maddox, joking at his expense, making him look like a dumbass and so on. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WHb02h7GMU&list=PL502urtP28_9FsepAojgrLC76YO7jigqD You can view evidence of this here.]
{{quote|Alright guys, a few things:
== The Dick Show ==
1. I've been dealing with a persistent harassment campaign for 4 months, which has come to head recently, I want to put this out as a warning to friends: for the next few days, please do not add anyone you don't know, I've hidden my friends list and they are grasping at straws, Please do not engage with any trolls trying to harass you or the UCB community. [[Hypocrisy|Trolls thrive on attention. Starve them of it. They're bored people who hate themselves.]]
[[Image:Unabomber-fbi.gif|thumb|220px|Ted Kaczynski took the fall for Dick]]
|<youtube>Lw1cqWH4ziA</youtube> '''How the victory of Donald Trump will be'''}}
2. We need to taik about "The Alphabet of Manliness." I'm not particularly proud of that book. Not because of the content matter (though a lot of that sucks too), but because it just wasn't very well-written. It was my first book and in it, I wrote a lame chapter based largely on the "Stop Short" episode of Seinfeld called "Copping a feel." I looked back on it today and cringed. I wrote it over 11 years ago and don't stand behind much of it today. I've never even read it from start to finish. The only two chapters I'm proud of are "B fo "B for Boners" and "Urinal Etiquette" which are masterpieces and should be studied in master's literature classes.
Following the untimely death of The Biggest Problem in the Universe, Masterson started his own Podcast called ''The Dick Show''. Weekly tidbits of Hot Goss are distributed like Orange Chicken samples in a supermarket. Hosting the show with him is his co-host Sean Jacobson, and his audio engineer Asterios Kokanos, and a rotating cast of recurring guests, including [[Lowtax]], MadCucks ([[powerword|Trevor Brit]]), and some weirdo Dick called Steve met once at a Burning Man gig. While the show can be entertaining since it started off being slapped together last minute and devolved into a [[WWE| male soap opera of drama and gossip]], and as a result requires the listener to have [[TL;DR]] context and backstory of drama involving an dead podcast, then listen to all episodes in chronological order; otherwise, entire 30 minute chunks of an episode [[Da fuq|make absolutely no sense]]. Despite being possibly the most [[TL;DR]] Podcast in human history that requires more back story and cliff notes than [[Dungeons & Dragons]], it is ranked in the top 20 highest grossing Patreons.
3. '''REDACTED''' has been [[dox|doxxed]]. We're going to the police. We encourage anyone receiving threats to go to the police as well.
=== Dick Masterson: Autism Whisperer ===
Today has been a rough day, My sincere thanks to my friends and family for their support|Maddox|Facebook Post}}
Maybe Maddox was right to disavow Alphabet of Manliness, since no one who cries about online bullying should have the word “man” associated with their name.
In the ashes of Dick Masterson proved to have a very useful weapon in his arsenal that Maddox did not count on. What does a man do when his former business partner attacks him, organizes a smear campaign against him, and leaves you with a fan base full of autistic sperglords? Like the legendary [https://wiki.bibanon.org/The_Legend_of_Chippo_Man chippo man] of yore, you weaponize that autism into your very own personal army.
During the drama with Dick Masterson, he accused him of being a [[rape]] apologist in his shitty expose video by playing a cut, out of context clip of the podcast. In this clip. Dick said that if a whore falls asleep at a club, she should expect to get assaulted because it is an expected outcome given the circumstance. Apparently, he cut that out because it didn’t align with his “values”. This video was eviscerated by all his fans who specifically cited this book to point out Maddox’s hypocrisy, showing a chapter called “C Is For Copping A Feel” in which he gives tips on how to sexually assault women without getting caught. After that, Maddox posted a Facebook status officially disavowing his only notable claim to fame. It goes to show how much libtards like Maddox will give up just for the moral high ground.
When Maddox's attack failed miserably and backfired, fans of TDS kicked in a whopping $18,465 (2/2/17) to the Dick fund, spiralling him into a 24-hour, 7 day a week alcoholic rage, condensed into an hour and a half long [[Podcast]].
Dick then [[Witchcraft|channelled]] the power of autism to outsource the work of [https://imgur.com/a/ji30G#xlDQCRe finding examples of Maddox advocating sexual assault], causing Maddox to [http://imgur.com/a/7Pp2x disavow his only successful book]. Another autist with far too much time on his hands decided to [https://www.reddit.com/r/TheDickShow/comments/55ojx0/discrepancies_and_analysis_of_bpitudick_show/ go through the accounting ledger to show Maddox was lying about his financial claims and actually owed Dick over $5,000.] Another poster on the board (Trevor Brit) became a long-term contributor on TDS as a not so subtle parody of Maddox, and ended up earning more money on Patreon than the real Maddox. They then decided to do some epic trolling by purchasing domains related to Maddox and all people associated with Madcast media, troll Maddox's Twitch stream, create a [https://i.redd.it/x7qxfcgbmfhy.jpg #1 charting comedy album] about what a [[cuck]] faggot Maddox is and chart higher Maddox's #4 charting comedy album, and [https://www.reddit.com/r/TheDickShow/comments/63z225/maddoxs_new_book_is_100_new_material/ pick apart the content of his new book] to prove that the entire thing is Maddox recycling old rants from Biggest Problem in the Universe.
[http://archive.is/6U8s6 Since Maddox is a pirate, he has no problem with you pirating his book]. [https://thepiratebay.org/torrent/3497068/Maddox+-+The+Alphabet+of+Manliness Get your copy here].
Dick has weaponized autism by separating his audience into two catagories: [[Liquid Chris|top autist]] and [[Chris-chan|bottom autist]]. He incentivizes weaponized autism by giving autists 'life advice' in a simple to understand way even a retard can understand and mocking them when there is too much tism (aka labeling them a bottom autist). Dick is able to do this because he is an autism himself, however instead of focusing his autism into Thomas the Tank Engine and Sonic, he focused it on guns, bombs, telling women they are inferior to men, and trolling. Basicly Dick is /pol/ IRL, minus <s>being half spic and</s>([[Unrealistic expectations|as of January 2018, Dick is retroactively half Greek]]) loving jews.
<big>'''[https://web.archive.org/web/20161102004143/https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OeW4m76E7S0 ARCHIVED LINK BECAUSE THE STINKY ARMENIAN FAGGOT SET IT TO PRIVATE LOL]'''</big>
<center>
{{frame|
=== <s>I Am Better Than Your Kids</s> Crappy Children's Art ===
<center><youtube>qEX9cpV7UBg</youtube></center>
<center><big>'''(Yes, a top autist parody of Maddox actually makes more money than the real Maddox.)'''</big></center>
[[Fact|No one gives a shit about this book]]. All he does is repeat the "I Am Better Than Your Kids" concept he put out free ten years ago. [[RiceGum]] does everything in this book better and for no monetary loss of your own.
|border=black|background=lightgray}}
[[File:Tumbleweed.gif|center]]
<center><big>'''↑↑↑↑'''</big> '''''These are all the people that bought this book. Zero readers. Not the best step forward for a [[New York Times]] Best Selling author.'''''</center>
<center>{{frame|<youtube>L30Sp8nLZ5I</youtube>
<center>'''In this interview with some lawyer, Dick reveals this book may have some [[bullshit|unreputable]] art featured.'''</center>|border=black|background=#ff8000}}</center>
=== <s>The Best Book in the Universe</s> F*ck Whales ===
[[Image:Cuckwhales.jpeg|200px|thumb|left|This book took ''four fucking years'' to write, and it was dead on arrival.]]
[[Image:Fucksales.jpg|thumb|right|Fixed]]
After his second book failed, Maddox's internet-fame was dependent on this next book doing well. For a while, it seemed like he had somewhat of a shot. He was riding the wave of his semi-profitable podcast (more on that below), so he banked on said podcast to build him a customer base. [[HAHAHA, OH WOW|It took him 4 years, 10 months, and 28 days to write this book]]. All that time was spent on doing more important things, like playing video games, building up hype for the book on other podcasts (including one by fellow baldfag [[Anthony Fantano]]), and eating [[shit]].
The chance Maddox had for this book being successful, however, looked a bit faded once all his self-inflicted drama with Dick Masterson (discussed below) came back to bite his flat ass. The book still did well, right?
{{Rainbowsmall|SPOILER: IT BOMBED HARD}}
[[File:Original book.jpg|200px|thumb|left| At first, my book was all like...]]
[[File:Fuckwhales.jpeg|200px|thumb|right| But then, my book was like...]]
[https://www.reddit.com/r/TheDickShow/comments/78i16m/circlejerk_about_how_terrible_fck_whales_is_doing/ The book peaked at #8,998 on Amazon].
''F*ck Whales'' was a financial nightmare for everyone involved, including Simon & Schuster, the publishers dumb enough to invest in a burnt out shill like Maddox. Compared to his '''DISAVOWED''' #2 ranking on [[The New York Times]] Best Sellers list, this was a major setback. [https://www.reddit.com/r/TheDickShow/comments/77kjsp/if_these_tracking_sites_are_reliable_frick_whales/ Hell, the book may’ve not even sold 100 copies on it’s release date]! One thing is for certain: with the way ''F*ck Whales'' is selling, it’ll take longer for Maddox to write his [[taxes]] than it took to write this book.
There would be a summary of the book here, but no one read it. Based on [https://books.google.com/books/about/F_ck_Whales.html?id=XgfPCgAAQBAJ&printsec=frontcover&source=kp_read_button the 25 page-long preview from Google Books], it’s rehashed material from his site. The one funny thing about this book is that Maddox is so creatively bankrupt that he himself subconsciously admits it.
The book was going to be called ''The Best Book In The Universe'', but some dickhead bought the domain name. So, it was renamed to the equally as creative ''F*ck Whales''. Nice asterisk, retard.
<center>{{frame|<youtube>MLiOD_y8CQw</youtube>
<center>Nice book title you have there, Maddox. ''Shame if someone took it from you''.</center>|border=black|background=#ff8000}}</center>
==Other notable literary works==
Like any other writer, Maddox has [[over 9000]] other projects that are unpublished, incomplete, or were released in a limited capacity only a few lucky fans could get their hands on. Such works, that have since circulated, include (but are not limited to):
===A Message To 80’s Girl===
One day, Maddox's ex-girlfriend and Dick's current girlfriend 80's Girl was going through her bullshit. Packed with all the big, black [[dildos]], perfume, and whatever else girls like, she found an envelope. In this envelope was a very lovely letter written by Maddox. Read it for yourself:
|<youtube>CDlPBZODAHk</youtube> A live reading of this literary masterpiece
|<youtube>eCC1JFkkgAI</youtube> Critics review ''A Message To 80's Girl''
|}}|border=black|background=#ff8000}}
</center>
</center>
=== #WAUT3RGATE ===
== HOT GOSS: Dick vs Maddox & Other Associated Drama ==
When Dick and Maddox broke up due to '[[Autistic]] differences,' Dick attempted to end things as [[gay|nice]] as he could saying [[Maddox]] was a legend and he was grateful for the [[lemonparty|opportunity to]] [[AIDS|host]] a podcast with him. However, because Maddox is incapable of acting like an adult and both of them are notorious internet trolls, this quickly dissolved and turned into a Battle Royale-grade free for all. As Maddox had already pissed off his fans by killing the podcast they loved and becoming an unfunny cuck, Maddox took the coward's way forward sneaking around implying shit he couldn't back up about Dick and sending his employees to dox, harass employers, and do his general [[Scat|dirty work]] while publicly pretending to be above it all and to be a [[Pussy|good boy]] who [[dindu nuffin]]. Dick, secure in the fact that Maddox made a flaming bitch of himself on his side, handled it like a [[Trap|man]] by publicly airing his dirty laundry and shaming him. Dick later got a bit more creative and him as well as his army of people who hated Maddox decided to [[troll|have some fun]] and:
[[File:Madcuckflapping_s.gif|thumb|250px|Individuals with severe [[autism]] are known for making unusual, sudden movements, such as the flapping of the hands.]]
<br>
[[File:Maddox-2buttons.jpg|thumb|right|That readers is what we call an "[[Intellectual Checkmate]]".]]
<br>
After ''The Biggest Problem in the Universe'' ended, some guy that made music for the show went on a venture to get Maddox and Dick to bury the hatchet. [https://web.archive.org/web/20170519030355/http://makeragenotwar.com:80/ He made a website advocating for them to apologize for all the bullshit they both did.] Part of this effort went into him messaging Maddox and trying to get his side of the story. Little did he know, he'd have to go through a ton of Maddox's delusional rants about [[shit no one cares about]]. After a while, the guy leaked them on [[IRC]] for everyone to laugh at. But, after Dick confronted him and told him they're never coming back together, he [[DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING|DELETED FUCKING EVERYTHING]] out of respect. That didn't stop Maddox from threatening the poor guy to dox him, though. What a class fucking act.
<center>
{{frame|
Things revealed in these chats include, but aren't limited to:
<center><youtube>uQ9UDOQ17Vw</youtube></center>
<big><CENTER>'''TL;DW'''</CENTER></big>
* Maddox feels nothing but contempt towards his fans, like we mentioned before. He feels this way because, in his bald, dumb head, he thinks his fans owe him their gratitude for bringing them shitty content that's not funny.
<center></center>
* Dick has a girlfriend, a house, and a successful podcast because of Maddox. You can see this is [[bullshit]] if you were even half as retarded as Maddox is.
|border=black|background=lightgray}}
* Maddox says Asterios doxxed his girlfriend, while also saying that he accused his girlfriend of doxing him.
* Maddox is very sad and angry over [[Kiwi Farms|a forum of people harassing him and slandering him and calling him a cuck and faggot every fucking day]].
* Maddox is very hypocritical about how wrong harassment and meddling in the lives of others exactly is.
* Maddox claims that his ex is both obsessed with him and was abusive to him while they were in a relationship together. Yes, he is saying that he was abused by a woman. What a tough guy.
* Maddox, above all else, says he wouldn't escalate the tension between him and Dick any further. [[Irony]].
''<big>You can read all the chats [https://web.archive.org/web/20170606053313/http://files.ilj.io/files/what_i_owe.txt here], [https://web.archive.org/web/20170805193345/http://files.ilj.io/files/the_disgusting_thing_asterios_did.txt here], [https://web.archive.org/web/20170805193359/http://files.ilj.io/files/make_rage_not_war.txt here], [http://files.ilj.io/files/logs/maddox_is_abused.md here], and [http://files.ilj.io/files/logs/tbpitu_downfall.md here], all either archived or somehow not deleted.</big>''
<center>{{frame|<youtube>ZrRr1BjY17g</youtube><center>'''Dramatic re-enactment with Madcucks, a parody of Maddox that's way more likable than the real thing.'''</center>|border=black|background=#ff8000}}</center>
{{clear}}
=== Maddox's list of words that trigger him ===
<center>{{frame|<youtube>yPLPCxOdhk8</youtube><center>'''[https://images.encyclopediadramatica.rs/e/ed/Maddoxbannedwords.mp4 Archived copy here.] We won't Maddox delete his bullcrap.'''</center>|border=black|background=#ff8000}}</center>
Maddox may not have a lot going for him, but he leeches off of "friends of friends" with [[over 9000]] e-celebrities. If you watch any "meme" YouTuber from [[Reddit|/r/videos]] or anyone from "le YouTube skeptic community", it's more than likely they're friends with Maddox. One of them, [[The Amazing Atheist|TJ Kirk (a.k.a: The Amazing Fruit Fucker)]], let Maddox guest on his podcast, Drunken Peasants. But Maddox couldn't ''just'' guest on a ''live-streamed show'' where ''anyone can comment anything''. Maddox forced TJ to [[censor|filter]] the pay chat, in which audience members, for a bit of money, can write a comment TJ and his co-hosts will read on air. This led to '''''NO ONE'S COMMENT GETTING READ'''''. Only two were read that episode, both being subtle shots at Maddox that flew over everyone else's head. This caused such a [[autistic screeching|shitstorm]], TJ was forced to refund everyone who didn't get their comment featured because all his fans were threatened to pull their support from his [[Patreon]].
Dick not only offered to reimburse any losses, but got one of TJ's co-hosts to guest to a live show. On that live show, he read the original memo Maddox sent TJ. This was met with plenty of [[lulz]].
{| class="wikitable sortable"
|-
! Banned word !! Why it was banned
|-
| The Dick Show || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| thedickshow.com || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| [[Dick Masterson]] || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Team [[Dick]] || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| #TeamDick || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Masterson || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Madcucks || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Madcuck || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Madcux || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| [[Rape]] list || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| [[Rape]] apologist || Maddox is a cuck
|-
| [[8chan]] || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| [[Dick Masterson]] || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| [[Cuck]] || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| [[Dox|Sycamore]] || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| [[Nigger]] || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| 8chan.net || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Manpurse || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Asterios || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| [[Dick]] Team || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Where's [[Dick]]? || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Where's Kokkinos? || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Dick Show || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| [[Cuck]]mas || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Disavowed || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| The Best Book In The Universe || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| #DickLies || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| #DikLies || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| 30k || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Kendal || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Adam Nash || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Nashville || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| D1ck Masterson || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| [[1337|D1ckm4st3rs0n]] [Many number/letter combos] || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| 80's girl || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| 80s girl || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Atease girl || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Dick is the winner || Maddox is a cuck
|-
| [[herpes|Mental]] [[Nigger|Jess]] [Many versions of "Mental Jess"]|| Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Ouzounian || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Peach || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Peach Saliva || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Restraining order || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| Job lynch mob || Maddox is a cuck.
|-
| [[Dox|819]] || Maddox is a cuck.
|}
=== The Biggest Lolsuit in the Universe (AKA: George Ouzounian et al - v. - Dax Herrera et al) ===
{{clear}}
[[File:Patreonjurisdiction.png|300px|thumb|left|Decides to sue everyone in NY, even though everyone involved in the lawsuit lives in LA... wut?]]
[[File:44 crappy childrens work.png|300px|thumb|right|Old Maddox reviews new Maddox's lawsuit]]
[[File:YOUDIDITTOYOURSELFMADDOX.png|300px|thumb|left|This was easily preventable, Maddox.]]
[[Image:Maddilox6.jpg|thumb|right|''PICTURED: REAL LIFE NO JOKE JOURNALIST HEATHER S. LOOKING <s>HOT AS FUCK</s> VERY STRONG AND INDEPENDENT GETTING READY TO WRITE "HER" NEXT BOOK, THE ALPHABET OF IRL FEMININE, WOMYX-CURATED JOURNALISM BY THE BEACH. THERE WOULD A JOKE ABOUT [[fat|WHALES]] AT THE BEACH BUT THAT WOULD BE [[social justice|FATPHOBIC]].'']]
[[File:Maddox-cuck.jpg|thumb|left|Visual representation of Maddox's 'PTSD']]
[[File:Maddoxisacreep.png|200px|thumb|right|Just a normal picture Maddox hides in his website next to the login info of other people.]]
[[File:Lolsuit-cuck.png|thumb|left|Asterios intended to prove to the court that Maddox is a fucking cuck holy shit rofl]]
On November 6th, 2017: Maddox's bloodthirst peaks and with the help of a dog bite lawyer and "recovering" alcoholic Kevin Landau, he filed a $20 million USD civil suit against [[Dick Masterson|Dax Herrera]], Foundation Digital, Llc, Greg Boser, Loren Baker, Cmgrp, Inc. (D/B/A Weber Shandwick), Joshua Kaufman, [[libtard|Asterios]] [[Greek|Kokkinos]], Madcucks aka Trevor Birt, [[Patreon|Patreon, Inc.]], and Jordan Cope.
<center>{{frame|
{{videoframe|BOTDFvids|font-weight: bold;|
|<youtube>DN4JCo4bjnM</youtube> A lawyer who knows his shit
|<youtube>0eYLR6CbR78</youtube> IRL lawyer reminding people the law doesn't end where Maddox's feelings begin
|<youtube>7B5by1QHe38</youtube> The conclusion to IRL lawyer going through the lolsuit
|<youtube>Hkg-hbLZF-8</youtube> Don't worry Maddox, Mundane Fat likes you! Surely, that’s worth as much as having a winning case!
|<youtube>11WUsAJ3T_w</youtube> The [[TL;DR]] by [[Mister Metokur]]
|}}|border=black|background=#ff8000}}
</center>
</center>
<br>
For those thinking a [[lolsuit]] is the same as a frivolous lawsuit, you're objectively wrong. 99% of any threatened legal action in a frivolous suit either never makes it to court, or gets dismissed with prejudice, which is judge-speak for 'I don't need to think about this dumb shit any more, here's the verdict'. This is that 1% of those frivolous cases, in which the case and the litigant are so neurotic and [[batshit insane]] that they defy the bounds of any logic or reason. In this suit, Maddox primary claim is that Dick [[sex|pumped]], [[friend zone|dumped]], and annihilated his reputation with his [[trolling]] and importing/exporting of [[lulz]]. Apparently, a balding, middle-aged man who feels nothing but contempt for his fans is totally deserving of 20,000,000 dollars. While it's true Dick (rightfully) spanked his flat ass, he's far from responsible for any of Maddox's monetary shortcomings and failures. Any motherfucker with common sense realizes this.
*Buy up Maddox's sponsor domains,
*Redirect Domains of his co-hosts' websites to,
<u>'''Things Maddox has legally admitted to in this lawsuit include</u>:'''
*Read private "[[Fuckboy|Please get back with me]]" letters he wrote his ex,
* Maddox has [[PTSD|Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder]] from being called a cuck.
*Create Billboard charting albums about what a [[cuck]] Maddox is to out sell his album,
* Maddox has wanted to and has attempted to get people fired from their jobs.
*Create a parody of Maddox called Madcucks,
* Maddox has coordinated, tried to get Dick's Patreon banned for no reason.
*Buy a billboard outside of Madcast Media's official P.O. Box saying what a cuck Maddox is,
* Maddox says ''The Biggest Problem In The Universe'' was a joint venture between him and Dick.
*Release bonus content from Madcucks that outsells Maddox's bonus content,
* Maddox admits ''F*ck Whales'' was a financial bomb.
*Establish a "podcast network" that isn't even really a network, but is still more popular and gets more downloads than Maddox's official Madcast Media network that he hyped up for over 2 years to relase shortly before his book,
* Maddox's girlfriend also has Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder because of Dick.
*Shit talk Maddox's sponsors,
* Maddox admits everyone involved (including himself) don't live in New York, despite the lawsuit being filed in New York.
*Explain how Maddox makes his money off shirts by selling shitty quality Guildan shirts,
* Maddox admits his career and his "business", is completely destroyed.
*Buy the domain to the super secret domain that Maddox was originally going to name his book,
*Release a Madcucks book with that same exact name making fun of what a faggot cuck Maddox is,
<u>'''More recent lolsuit updates include</u>:'''
*Release the financial records of Biggest Problem in the Universe,
* Landau, through possible shitty wording, claims Maddox's girlfriend may actually have [[herpes]]. [[Srsly]].
*Make fun of guests that go on Maddox's show,
* Maddox, legally, by his own definition of the word, is a [[cuck]].
*Get a restraining order against his current girlfriend Jessica "M3ntal Jess" Blum,
* That, through Landau's shitty wording, Dick and Asterios may/may not be the fathers of Madcucks, making Madcucks the first butt baby.
*Troll his twitch stream,
* Maddox and his girlfriend <s>want a restraining order against Dick</s> [https://youtu.be/tDovnKy0HBU DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS].
*Shit on Maddox's podcast reviews,
* Dick apparently hacked Maddox's web server. It consisted of unlisted, unlinked URLs, which as it turned out [https://www.reddit.com/r/TheDickShow/comments/7r4q6p/exploring_maddoffs_website/dsubjtb/ Maddox had the login information of some of Dick's clients that he wasn't supposed to have.] Chances are, he did some autistic, illegal shit. Some stuff that was also found include [https://www.reddit.com/r/TheDickShow/comments/7ovx3n/facebook_gentlemen_discovers_weird_picture_on/ a creepy photo of a random hot chick that looked as if it was taken without her knowing], pictures of Maddox with hair, and other [[shit no one cares about]].
*Leak Maddox's chat logs,
* Maddox, either purposely or through Landau being unable to write coherently, admits to impersonating a [[liberal media]] journalist named Heather. Above all else, this marks the moment Maddox comes out as an [[trans|Armeni-tran]].
*Poach Maddox's audio engineer and making him co-host in exchange for him never working for Maddox again,
*Take the Patreon name Maddox,
*And sue Maddox of trademark patent disputes.
<BIG><U>'''So how did such an amazing lawsuit end?'''</U></BIG>
Dick soon learned just from his own personal beef with Maddox that Drama was profitable and makes for [[encyclopedia dramatica|quality content]]. Other Drama sagas on his podcast include (but are not limited to):
<center><youtube>n7oqJJ1ijs8</youtube></center> <center>'''Here is the TL;DR teaser trailer that spoils the ending of the lolsuit'''</center>
*Making his liberal writer vote for [[Donald Trump]]
*Getting a mod of /r/the_donald to Box a liberal faggot greek Asterios whose only stated training regimen was to "get as fat and train as little as possible just like the real Donald Trump"... and the /r/the_donald mod lost!
*Everyone forever mocking the losing mod's girlfriend, a furfag cat-kin
*Having a fan almost kill himself on air (see Valentine's Day Massacre)
*Inviting [[Null]] on as a guest and as a result KiwiFarms getting shut down the next day
*Inviting [[Faggot|Mike Cernovich]] on as a guest and then letting his writers and fans mercilessly mock and ridicule Thernovich ever since
*A war between his facebook and reddit group who hate and fuck with each other all the time
*Advising listeners to drink wrecklessly and do only the [[Win|cool drugs]].
<big>''YOU CAN READ THE ENTIRE LOLSUIT, AS WELL AS FOLLOW UP LEGAL ACTIONS ON:''</big>
== Best debate in the universe: Brought to you by Dick Masterson ==
{{Rainbow|LOLSUIT.COM}}
[https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/Maddox#The_Biggest_Lolsuit_in_the_Universe_.28AKA:_George_Ouzounian_et_al_-_v._-_Dax_Herrera_et_al.29 Maddox sued Dick and everyone he knew for $20 million each per count in New York City.] The lolsuit was the funniest thing produced by Maddox in over 10 years, and ended with Maddox and his drunken dog bite lawyer getting their shit rammed in.
{{clear}}
And what did Maddox do after losing? Perhaps some self reflection as the thick skulled retard realize he's thousands upon thousands of dollars in the hole and the ass end of countless jokes on the internet? ''Why, double down and file ''[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/george-ouzounian-v-asterios-kokkinos-2018.47158/ another] lawsuit, twice as assmad as before!''
==Ballsack Media Network==
After winning his lolsuit, Dick was upset. He wasn't ready for the fun of laughing at Maddox to end and all Maddox wanted to do now was cry in his [[hugbox|cuck shed]] alone and pretend he never tried to do something so retarded. So to spice things up after Maddox released his nuclear option that [[Bukkake|blew up in his own face]], Dick decided on Episode 113 of <s>Biggest Problem in the 2niverse: The search for more money and less Dick</s> Best Debate in Universe to give Maddox, just the Tip of what is looking to be a [[lulz|hilarious]] future series of dickings Maddox's anus was never prepared for:
[[File:DICK AND BALLSACK.png|900px|thumb|center|Maddox ''sure is'' doing better than Dick!]]
[[File:Maddoxloss.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Reminder: if Maddox never invited Jesse, he'd be making sponsorship money right now.]]
Immediately after ''The Biggest Problem In The Universe'' ended, Maddox had to think of how to capitalize on a cancelled show. His solution? Start a shitty podcast network. With ''zero planning whatsoever''.
On this network he paid $30,000.00 to get a website for, you can listen to numerous high-quality podcasts, such as:
* '''The Best Debate in the Universe'''- Outlined above. [[TL;DR]]: you’d be better off listening to BPITU. It’s not only funnier, but you’re not supporting a shill factory of man purses and [[meme]] [[clickbait]] bullshit.
* '''Pod Awful'''- Question: what would happen if the combined power of Rucka Rucka Ali and Maddox was even less funny? You'd get ''Pod Awful'', the worst possible way to kill two hours. This show is only funny if your sense of humor is overblown edgy shit with zero self-awareness. The wittiest thing to come out of host Jesse's mouth is Maddox's [[micropenis]]. ''Pod Awful'' is the most notable show on the network outside of Biggest Temper Tantrum in the Universe. Why? Not because it's funny, that's for sure. [https://images.encyclopediadramatica.rs/8/84/MadcastSaysNigger.mp4 Jesse fucked over Maddox and threw all their sponsorship deals away because he called a mutual friend of Maddox and Dick a nigger] for starting his own podcast, not doing it with Madcast Media, and giving Maddox a cut of his revenue (it's fine though because Maddox's [[tranny|girlfriend]] said [https://twitter.com/M3tal_Jess/status/817283987869552640 she likes when people call her a nigger]). Jesse is his personal slave and [[cumslut]] doing all the dirty work for Maddox, moderating his bullshit and white knighting him under several [[sockpuppet]] accounts. And to make things <s>worse</s> ''better'', [[he_does_it_for_free|he makes zero money]] from neither his show nor his chivalrous deeds of saving Princess Maddox when he gets in a jam. Oh yeah, Jesse also spends his time [https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/index.php?title=Maddox&diff=prev&oldid=1011975 editing this page, because Maddox won't give him his juicy, Armenian, vein-covered dick if he doesn't white knight for every single one of his fuck-ups.]
* '''[[ALL CAPS|'''CRINGE VS. CRINGE!!1!111!!!]]'''- After months and months of e-mails, YouTube comments, [[Reddit]] posts, and [https://men.com Men.com] comments (only the manliest of websites can stream content from Maddox), they finally did it. You spoke, they listened. Maddox gave Jesse P-S, the guy who's responsible for their podcasts not making money, '''''[[SRSLY|ANOTHER FUCKING SHOW]]'''''!! In all seriousness, <i>[[kamikaze|CRINGE VS. CRINGE]]</i> may as well be called <i>Pod Aw-[[Spanish|dos]]: [[Electric Boogaloo]]</i>. The only noteworthy thing about this show is that Asterios Kokkinos, established Dick goon, was a guest for one episode. You would think there'd be some questioning by Dick's fans, but CVC is so trivial in the grand scheme of things that no one noticed in the first place. Just goes to show how little people care about anything Jesse makes.
* '''Game Fart'''- <s>A podcast hosted by some [[unfunny]] [[Britbong]] gamer [[fags]] [[nobody gives a shit]] about. [https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/index.php?title=Maddox&diff=prev&oldid=1011976 It's not just us thinking that, though. It appears Jesse from ''Pod Awful'' actually agrees with us.]</s> [[HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS]]. <i>Game Fart</i> died because no one cared it existed. There are some semi-interesting reasons why this show was greenlit in the first place, however: [https://www.reddit.com/r/TheDickShow/comments/7a1u8c/madcast_media_death_pool_update_game_fart_ended/ Lord Matthew, the head honcho of a team with no other members, '''''was the guy that created the shitty Madcast Media website (the one that Maddox blew 30k on)'''''].
== MADDOX GETS CUCKED OUT OF HIS OWN SHOW ON ITUNES AND GIRLFRIEND ==
After losing his lolsuit, his [[herpes|beautiful]] [[nigger|Afican]] American girlfriend left him. While her official reason for leaving Maddox was because he tried (not succedeed, tried) to cheat on her with an annoying cat girl that got thrown out of all Dick Show communities because she was a hideous annoying slag of a hambeast, who he's now let be a moderator for his twitch. Some speculate that it was really due to Maddox's crying while watching other men fuck her was so loud and annoying it was starting to scare away the bulls she's bring over.
What more can Maddox lose? He's lost his [[girlfriend|pet moneky]], his ex gf he is still in love with, 99% of his SadCast media employees, all his money, [[suicide|his sister]], his book sales, any future book deals, and all respect any one had for him. Well Dick decided to take another thing from Maddox... [[lulz|HIS OWN ITUNES FEED FOR HIS PODCAST]].
Dick wasn't ready for the fun of laughing at Maddox to end and all Maddox wanted to do now was cry in his cuck shed alone and pretend he never was such a retard. So to spice things up after Maddox released his nuclear option that blew up in his own face, Dick decided on Episode 113 of <s>Biggest Problem in the 2niverse: The search for more money and less Dick</s> Best Debate in Universe to give Maddox, just the Tip of what is looking to be [[lulzy]] future series of dickings Maddox's anus was never prepared for:
<big>[https://soundcloud.com/user-663667932/113-should-certain-animals-be-extinct-ali-spagnola-ron-babcock-taylor-nikolai-maddox-crows '''DICK HAS HAD SOLE OWNERSHIP OF THE ORIGINAL STOLEN BIGGEST PROBLEM IN THE UNIVERSE ITUNES FEED THIS WHOLE TIME AND WAS ALLOWING MADDOX TO USE IT. HE DECIDED TO INFORM MADDOX OF THIS FACT BY SPLICING IN AN AD FOR HIS SHOW AT THE BEGINNING OF EPISODE 113 AS WELL AS A QUICK RUNDOWN OF WHAT HAPPENED FOR ALL THE BIGGEST PROBLEM FANS WHO WONDERED WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED AND WHY IS THIS GAY FAGGY PODCAST SHOWING UP INSTEAD'''].</big>
<big>[https://soundcloud.com/user-663667932/113-should-certain-animals-be-extinct-ali-spagnola-ron-babcock-taylor-nikolai-maddox-crows '''DICK HAS HAD SOLE OWNERSHIP OF THE ORIGINAL STOLEN BIGGEST PROBLEM IN THE UNIVERSE ITUNES FEED THIS WHOLE TIME AND WAS ALLOWING MADDOX TO USE IT. HE DECIDED TO INFORM MADDOX OF THIS FACT BY SPLICING IN AN AD FOR HIS SHOW AT THE BEGINNING OF EPISODE 113 AS WELL AS A QUICK RUNDOWN OF WHAT HAPPENED FOR ALL THE BIGGEST PROBLEM FANS WHO WONDERED WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED AND WHY IS THIS GAY FAGGY PODCAST SHOWING UP INSTEAD'''].</big>
<center>{{frame|<youtube>pTSsP5CM2mc</youtube>
To further [[rape|help]] Maddox, Dick decided to send his listeners to Maddox's $30,000 website and use his voting system to vote on what new podcast would be allowed on the C.U.N.T network. This caused Maddox to go into a full on autistic rage as he takes voting on his websites super seriously. First attempting to cry to apple to get his iTunes feed that actually has subscribers back. Then getting butthurt and tampering with his own voting to fuck with Dick. To going into such a delusional world of denial he is refusing to address the sickest burn that could possibly happen to Maddox: he is trying to [https://archive.fo/11TbX pass off the increase bump in web traffic as legit traffic to his shit show's website].
<center>'''Skip to 4:02 to hear the message and the explanation from the fucking madlad himself'''</center>|border=black|background=#ff8000}}</center>
To further [[troll|help]] Maddox, Dick decided to send his listeners to Maddox's $30,000 website and use his voting system to vote on what new podcast would be allowed on the C.U.N.T network. This caused Maddox to go into a full on autistic rage as he takes voting on his websites super seriously. First attempting to cry to apple to get his iTunes feed that actually has subscribers back. Then getting butthurt and tampering with his own voting to fuck with Dick. To going into such a delusional world of denial he is refusing to address the sickest burn that could possibly happen to Maddox, he is trying to [https://archive.fo/11TbX pass off the increase bump in web traffic as legit traffic to his shit shows website].
However, internet Lawsplainer Nick Rekieta explained what the funniest part of all this is (beyond just the lulz of Dick fucking with the feed and using it to shit on Maddox), because Dick was the owner and allowed Maddox to pull his bullshit for over 2 year, Dick can legally and rightfully bill Maddox for all the time he allowed Maddox to use his iTunes feed to upload a shitty podcast.
However, internet Lawsplainer Nick Rekieta explained what the funniest part of all this is (beyond just the lulz of Dick fucking with the feed and using it to shit on Maddox), because Dick was the owner and allowed Maddox to pull his bullshit for over 2 year, Dick can legally and rightfully [[Jew|bill]] Maddox for all the time he allowed Maddox to use his iTunes feed to upload a shitty podcast.
<center><youtube>utTVGln1Uws</youtube></center> <center>'''A full TL;DR break down of how Maddox got cucked out of his own iTunes feed'''</center>
<center><youtube>utTVGln1Uws</youtube></center> <center>'''A full TL;DR break down of how Maddox got cucked out of his own iTunes feed'''</center>
Line 443:
Line 170:
Dick still owns the iTunes feed because Apple is not going to disregard property law to appease a crying bald faggot who talked shit about them for years, and has said when it comes to his ways to fuck with Maddox, this isn't even his final form.
Dick still owns the iTunes feed because Apple is not going to disregard property law to appease a crying bald faggot who talked shit about them for years, and has said when it comes to his ways to fuck with Maddox, this isn't even his final form.
As mentioned before, Maddox lives in a pigsty of an apartment, and it's quite a stretch to imagine he'd ever get laid. It turns out that a certain more recent image of his actual bedroom made its way onto the internet, either through Maddox himself or from a foreclosure property website (for some reason). Naturally, the first thing you notice is the slime from the Monster Hunter series as a bedspread. Then you realise (to your horror) that Maddox fucked 80's girl in this room.
<b><CENTER>'''"I'm not triggered you shithead"'''Dick knows how to stay calm...also TL;DW</CENTER></b>
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</center>
<br>
Try to unpack that for a moment reader: George Cuckman HAD SEX with at least one other human being '''ON THIS BED!'''
[[Last tuesday]], Destiny used his [[autism]] to successfully [[bait]] Dick into a "debate." This however was a 'debate' in the the same way autistic screeching is a conversation. Dick being a drunken rage filled asshole who is too lazy to research twitch attention whores, fell into a trap and admittedly he did not perform well in. Destiny accomplished this by making the whole thing about Trump after Dick explicitly said he didn't want to talk about Trump. Destiny using his adderall enhanced autism to find Dick's weakness.
[[File:DesTINY.jpg|200px|thumb|right|DesTINY shows Dick whose the bigger man]]
But yeah, for whatever reason his apartment was listed on [some foreclosure website http://www.themls.com]. There were other pictures that made it onto the listing in particular that confirmed that this was indeed the cuck lair.
*Dick goes up against <b>literally anyone</b> anyone who challenges him like a drunk rage filled asshole
*Dick is too lazy to research anything
*Dick lets others lead the direction of the conversation to shit on where they take it
*Dick is a 24 hour rage
<center><gallery>
[[File:Masterdebater.png|200px|thumb|right|DesTINY demonstrates what physique a master debater should strive for]]
File:Cuckshed1.jpg
[[File:DesTINY2.jpg|200px|thumb|right|DesTINY may be cumming up short, but at least he never cums up bald ]]
File:Cuckshed2.jpg
As a result, Dick performed like shit. What was not supposed to be a debate and not supposed to be about Trump and supposed to be about how the way Destiny argues is a cherry picked exercise in confirmation bias that has made the internet and people shittier and unable to communicate, [[irony| turned into a debate about Trump]]. When trying to get off the topic, Destiny challeneges Dick's masculinity and accuses him of being a triggered snowflake needing the topic to be changed to keep him engaged in shit he really didn't care about talking about. Around waaaaaay top long into this "debate," Dick finally stops giving a shit and starts making fun of Destiny for being a midget. You could delude yourself into seeing this as some sort of meta-win for Dick as Dick's original statement that the way Destiny talks to people is not an actual conversation, its just autistic screeching to jerk off your ego to appeal to confirmation biases of you audience of tards over click bait talking points; but you can never take a circus midget seriously for over 30 minutes and be considered a "winner" in any way. Dick looked foolish for this, knew it, and openly admits he fucked up by letting Destiny change the subject, use sophistry tricks, and drill down into talking points into a point of absurdity. [[A winner is you| Destiny immediately declared himself a winner]], which is true in the sense that when two special ed students screech at each other in tard rage the one who is louder is the "winner". Destiny also considers it a badge of pride in triggering that he got a guy who is known for a rage based podcast that screams all the time and never does any research and argues from pathos to scream at him and not have researched sourced facts to support his arguments. Destiny's autism truly shines through at the end of the interview:
File:Cuckshed3.jpg
</gallery></center>
This caused quite a lot of [[lulz]] among Maddox's hatebase, and we have a small collection memes to share with you.
{{quote|DICK: I guess in the argument department I came up a little SHORT *laughs* you know what thats like. DESTINY: At least I didn't come up a little bald *Hangs up immediately* GOT HIM!|Destiny proving Dick's original point that the way Destiny talks to people is not an actual conversation, its just autistic screeching to jerk off your ego to appeal to confirmation biases of you audience of tards over click bait talking points was wrong by debating that Drumpf is bad.}}
<center>{{frame|{{cg|The Best Slime In The Universe™ ٭ ٭ ٭|crazies|center|<gallery perrow="5">
Dick also has a long list of enemies of the Dick show who he personally will punch in the face the moment an opportunity arises where he can and legally get away with it. This includes, but is not limited to:
File:Madslime1.jpg|Don't scream
*Maddox
File:Maddox has a new twitch character.jpg|Maddox's new [[twitch]] emote
*Destiny
File:Madslime2.jpg|Smile, now with bulge!
*Madcast media
File:Madslime3.jpg|[[Minecraft|You can't sleep, monsters are nearby]]
*Tim Pool
File:Madslimespooky.jpg|What she sees in Maddox's bedroom
*Elon Musk
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
*Bill Nye
File:Madslime4.jpg
*Neil DeGrasse Tyson
File:Madslime5.jpg|Fuck it, we doin it on da metal slime bed tonite.
*Mark Maron
File:Madslime6.jpg|Anon asks for dating advice
*All members of Last Podcast on the Left
File:Madslimeohgodno.png
*Everyone at [[Cracked.com]] and it's affiliated podcasts
*All employees of the US government (excluding military)
== You and Maddox’s future ==
== Dick Masterson: Zionist shill? ==
<center>{{frame|<youtube>OBUO_k4xDkI</youtube>
While Dick doesn't talk about the Jews a lot, it has occasionally come up and has made statements sounding like he want to suck circumcised cock.
<center>'''Maddox's crying session with some midget.'''</center>|border=black|background=#ff8000}}</center>
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<br>
<center>
{{frame|
<center><youtube>3b0v3DCof8Q</youtube></center>
<center><b>Dax speaking out against der fuhrer</b></center>
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</center>
<br>
<br>
While it's unclear if he just fucking around or if Dax secretly worships the [[jew| children of satan]], you should trust Dick as much as you would trust any [[Israel|Isreali]]. There is a good chance Dick will try and fuck your girlfriend, take your population of fans, and claim he has an ancestral right to it as he lawyers up and rapes you in court.
A couple days ago, Maddox cried in Twitch debater and incest lover [[Destiny]]’s shoulder like the [[victim]] he is. [https://twitter.com/wauterboi/status/868528505322995712 Of course, he <s>fails</s> “forgets” to mention how much of a crybully he is]. Maddox’s bar for what passes as harassment is so low, even [[Anita Sarkeesian]] would tell him to grow some balls.
== The Valentine's Day Massacre ==
On February 14th, 2017, Dustin, a random guy who had made a [[Facebook]] page for the show and appointed himself Moderator, brought 3 of the saddest stories to the bonus episode, at one point leaving listeners wondering if the current caller had [[an hero|killed himself]]. Among the other callers were a sexually-abused and near-homeless [[trap]] and a guy with.. well, with just a shitty life. Mind you, he brought these callers into a [[comedy]] show. Dustin, as a result of his actions, was sentenced to a day in the stocks down at the marketplace where customers could hiss and curse at him, along with the occasional [[golden shower]].
So, with that and everything else in this article in mind, what does all of it mean? Maddox is [[an hero]] waiting to happen. But he can’t build up the [[balls|courage]] to kill himself alone, [http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=manly_suicide even though he should have taken his own advice from a long time ago]. He needs your help. How can [[you]], an e-urchin, help our dear friend Maddox become an hero? '''Here are some essential tips and tricks:'''
== EDiot on the Dick Show ==
[[File:How The Fuck Is Cyber Bullying Real.png|Right|thumb|Maddox should heed [[OFWGKTA|Tyler, The Creator]]’s words of everlasting wisdom.]]
One of ED's admins made [[lulz| a shit video]] about [[Maddox]] and Dick invited him onto the podcast. What followed was 30 minutes of [[autism]], telling everyone about what a drunken meth-head failure [[Zaiger]] is, that [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] is ran by a bunch of [[fact| lazy drunks]], and about that time [[William Atchison|a former ED mod shot up a school and only killing 2 people before getting cucked by a couch]] and bringing great shame and dishonor on Encyclopedia Dramatica by not even getting a [[High Score]]. As all Dick show fans are [[fact| an autism]] and [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] is a collector of all things autistic and autism related, it was the [[retard|special]] [[cum|moment]] that all Dick show autists we waiting to happen. EZ also shut people up correcting him that Dick Masterson was half Mexican, not Half-Greek by getting Dick to agree that [[fact| from now on he is retro-actively Greek]].
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<center>
{{frame|
<center><youtube>DCdgZo8Hav8</youtube></center>
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*[https://www.twitch.tv/realmaddox Visit Maddox's Twitch stream] with a troll name. This’ll remind him how much of a failure he is.
After EZ PZ's video became one of the top search results for Maddox on [[Jewtube]] [https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=maddox (no srsly)] Maddox's [[white knight]] from [[faggot|Podhomo]] began sperging in the comments to defend m'lady [[Maddox]] and her honor. When it became clear that an admin of ED not only doesn't really give a shit about being insulted online, but communicates exclusively in internet shit talk and is more comfortable speaking that language [[homo|Jessie]] decided to threaten ED's admin with a [[lolsuit]]!
*Ask him if [[erectile dysfunction|he has trouble getting it up]].
*Ask him if his girlfriend’s [[herpes|pussy is looking a bit spotty]].
*Ask him if his girlfriend [[tranny|even <i>has</i> a pussy]].
*Ask him if he would go [[gay]] if [[faggot|a man got his micropenis hard]].
*[http://thedickshow.com/episode-55/ Ask him why his girlfriend has a restraining order against some bitch named “80’s Girl”].
*Ask him how many copies F*ck Whales has sold.
*Ask him why the only thing he sponsors is his book.
*Ask him why that cool leather store’s website redirects to the merch store of some guy named “Dick”.
*Ask him why his audio is so shitty and where Sean went.
*Ask him if it was his fault his sister killed herself.
*Ask him why he’s always losing followers.
*Call him a [[cuck]].
*Call him an [[SJW]].
*Disagree with him.
*Ask him about how much Patreon money he’s making.
*Ask him why his new, awesome show has the same [[iTunes]] feed as the old show.
*Tell him that you work a minimum wage job and still make more money than him.
*[http://files.ilj.io/files/what_i_owe.txt Quote] [http://files.ilj.io/files/the_disgusting_thing_asterios_did.txt anything] from the [http://files.ilj.io/files/make_rage_not_war.txt #WAUT3RGATE leaks].
==Maddox doesn’t like this article==
<b><u>This would be somewhat scary if...</u></b>
* EZ Didn't live in ((([[Isreal]]))) (aka the real masters of the [[Jewnited States of Americunts]])
Maddox, even though his first one was cucked by Asterios, decided to make a second bonus album. The concept of this album is a spicy one: Maddox reacts to ''this article'' by having Rucka and Jesse read it to him verbatim. This could’ve been funny, but then again, this is Maddox we’re talking about. We at [[Encyclopedia Dramatica]] refuse to support Maddox in any way, so all we can do is go off from people okay with giving the cuck money. Here’s the scoop:
* Said something that wasn't true or wasn't a joke
* Gave a shit
*Maddox responds to everything in this article by yelling [[bullshit|profanities]].
* Had a reputation and image he cared about
*As this episode goes on, Rucka sounds increasingly more frustrated with Maddox and his autism.
*Eventually, Rucka tells Maddox what Dick’s tried to tell him this whole time: that he used to be one of the top online badasses, but now he’s a total cuck.
*Maddox pretends to be in on all the jokes saying he should work for [[NPR]].
Unlike Maddox’s first album, he wasn't able to pull off his “chop up my podcast into tracks and pretend they’re bits and that this is a comedy album and not leftover garbage” bullshit. As it turns out, no one buys comedy albums.
This article is also named in the lolsuit as one of the many reasons he’s [[Almost raped|entitled to]] <s>$20 million</s> <s>$380 million</s> every United States treasury note in existence. '''While the prospect of a ''satirical'' writer suing someone for contributing to a ''satirical'' article seems like a work of ''satire'', this is a legally documented [[fact]].'''
Madcucks [https://play.google.com/store/music/album/Madcucks_Madcucks_Vs_Existence_2?id=Bykfgs6rysaz6dahxmyx4cn4c3u parodied this album], reading the current version of this article that covers his cuckoldry, the lolsuit, Maddox’s [[failure]] of a podcast network, and more. This hit #1 on both [[iTunes]] and [[Jewgle]] Oy Play’s comedy album charts. Then, Madcucks [https://play.google.com/store/music/album/Madcucks_Madcucks_Vs_Existence_3?id=Bcfown3rfd5zorzcoguho46yj2m released a third bonus album] to make fun of how Maddox <s>never made the third bonus album he promised he would make to all five people who bought his cuckold content currency</s> made a third bonus album (which Sç̱͈͓͔̬̠̞z̴̙̖̥͕̪ḩ̖̣̣̙̱̬̘ṳ͈̈a͎̣̙̟̳̱̞n͇̹, Dick’s audio engineer, has confirmed does exists), but never released it.
== The Museum of Maddox (MOM) (alternatively titled The Best Museum in the Universe) ==
[[Last_thursday|One day,]] [http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/avkcv/i_am_maddox_ama Maddox reached out to all the arrogant nerds on Reddit because his fanbase forgot about him]. Redditors [[cum|came]] all over the post, asking him questions he's answered numerous times before. You know, the expected behaviour from [[Reddit]] users. Why is this post important? [https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/avkcv/i_am_maddox_ama/c0jm6wd/ Maddox harps on "quality" as an excuse for not updating his site or shitting out another book] (not that this has ever stopped him before). He also points out that he cares about what his name's tied to, which is why he took a picture right next to the fucking [[Kekistan]] flag not 10 feet away from [[Sargon_of_Akkad|Carl Fucking Benjamin]] of all things.
Yes, he cares so much about his name, [[Lies|THAT HE DOES EVERYTHING POSSIBLE TO MAKE SURE HIS NAME IS NOT RUN THROUGH THE MUD, THAT PEOPLE REVERE HIM WITH GENUINE PRIDE, AND THAT HE DOESN'T SELL OUT BY PUTTING HIS BRAND ON DOGSHIT PRODUCTS.]]
<big>'''SPOILER: HE CARES AS MUCH ABOUT HIS IMAGE AS KRUSTY THE CLOWN FROM THE SIMPSONS!'''</big>
To show how much he cares about the legendary Maddox and tHe bEsT WhAtEvEr tHe fUcK In tHe uNiVeRsE™ brand, here's a gallery of high quality Maddox content that has been made over the years! This is content made by fans, by himself, and the content he has his brand and face attached to. Oh, and Georgie-poo? [[Never forget]] [[Anonymous|We're fans too. :)]]
{{clear}}
<center>{{frame|{{cg|OVERFLOWING AMOUNTS OF QUALITY|crazies|center|<gallery perrow="7">
File:Predator3cosplay.jpg|Can you guess what he's cosplaying as?
File:MADDOXNailed it.jpg|NAILED IT!!!
File:tekkaman_comp4.jpg|The attention to detail is amazing!
File:Tekkaman comp3.jpg|I can't tell who’s who!
File:Tekkaman comp5.jpg|When <s>autism</s> '''''HIGH QUALITY''''' goes too far.
File:Cuckshirt.jpg|With design quality like that, it's no wonder this shirt is so popular!
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="7">
File:Trigg.png|Awesome shirt!! It's like Maddox took the [https://youtu.be/I--LtuTA7K8 sketch from John Oliver] and made it more <s>autistic</s> <i><b>BADASS, HILARIOUS, AND HIGH QUALITY</b></i>. Peek the yellow highlights for [[lulz]]. File:Maddox3dmodel.jpg|Watch out, world: Maddox is a master CGI modeler!
File:Maddoxredcarpet.png|Look at what a snappy dresser this dapper chap is!
File:MaddoxhotTwitter.png|Look at the effort he puts into managing the MADDOX™ brand on his [[Twitter]]!!
File:Sonicblendermaddox.png|Wow, he can make models of [[Sonic]], too?
File:Twitterlockout.png|Look at how Maddox’s haters roll off his back as he handles criticism and trolling like a [[pro]]!
File:Maddoxrapejoke.png|Maddox spent years thinking up the funniest jokes!
File:Twitterlockout2.png|Don't let anyone tell you that you’re lazy, Maddox!
File:Twitterlockout3.png|Don't even give haters the time of day, Maddox! Everyone loves you. You make such high quality content that people who don’t like you are irrelevant!
File:Newmaterialmaddox.png|Keep on making high quality drawings and writing original and new material, Maddox!
File:Maddoxatthestreamy.jpg|The cuck found a jacket even smaller than he is!
File::Irlmaddox.jpg|Maddox IRL. Photoshop and post video editing help a lot.
File:Maddoxcon.jpg|Now THAT'S the kind of engagement I'd expect to see from a NYT best selling author going to [[Comic-Con]]
File:Maddoxncfoc.jpg|Coming to a Twitch channel near you...
File:Maddox-deleting-comments.jpg|Oh grow up you fucking crybaby.
File:Maddox-advice.jpg|Even the [[Advice Dog]] meme is funnier than you.
File:Maddoxs-anti-fans.jpg|Maddox's anti-fan-base steals the show every time
File:Maddox-bike.jpg|WHAT'S UP?
File:Maddox-lolcow-milking.png|Dick hard at work on roasting Maddox
File:Idcuckme.jpg|''ACTUAL IRL JOURNALIST HEATHER S. READY TO CHECK "HER" E-MAIL TO DISTRACT "HERSELF" FROM THE SOUND OF [[nigger|TYRONE]] FUCKING "HER" GIRLFRIEND.''
File:Im being impersonated by a gross armenian.jpg|Anon does 4D chess with the cucklet
File:Madcast-hacked.jpg|Madcast Media Network gets an improvement
File:Maddox-comments.jpg|Maddox bitching at his 'fans' when they have the gall to ask for comments sections
File:I am the content.jpg|Maddox is the content
File:Maddox the gamblers motto.png|Why isn't this an official [[Nike]] promo?
File:Maddox fun today.png|Maddox is having fun
File:Maddox trollin.png|Oooooof!
File:Maddox-cucked-gottem.jpg|GOTTEM!
File:Maddox solves all his troubles circa 2018.jpg|Maddox solves all his troubles c.2018 (colorized)
File:Maddox-censorship.png|[[You|We know one person in particular who REALLY LOVES censorship!]]
File:Los angeles not even once.jpg
File:cameron_vs_maddox.jpg
File:Dickvsmaddox-podcaststats.jpg|Yet another comparison of the numbers
File:Maddox-bagdhad-box.jpg|Maddox's cosplay at Vidcon this year as Bagdhad Bob really nailed it
File:Maddox-change-my-mind.jpg
File:Kiss-me-im-a-writer-maddox.jpg|You're not [[Ireland|Irish]], you're [[Armenia|Armenian]]
File:Maddox-hats.jpg
File:Maddox_perjury.jpg
File:Maddox_harambe.jpg|The only tragic thing about this is [[Harambe|they would only kill the good gorillas who did nothing wrong]]
File:Maddox-got-mad.jpg|The equivilent of an unfunny stand-up comedian removing a heckler who roasted and upstaged him
File:Maddoxgrinch.jpg|Then he got an idea. An awful idea. The cuck got a wonderful, ''awful'' idea!
File:Maddoxconstrategy.jpg|Imagine being so pathetic and unpopular that you have to bribe fans to come to your booth at ComicCon with free food! WHAT?
File:Maddoxcuckcuckcuck.jpg|George clearly doesn't read his own shit
File:Maddoxfart.png|[[Fart|Classy...]]
File:Coolestwebsite.png|How Maddox's site would look if he was only 10% honest
File:Maddox im calling the police.jpg|''I'm calling the police'' is a bit of a big meme on r/TheDickShow btw
File:Maddox-lawsuit-old-maddox.jpg|Old Maddox's response to the lawsuit
File:Madcuckriddler.png|Maddox somehow looks less [[gay]] when posing as The Riddler
File:Cuckhunt.jpg|Use a real gun though
File:Maddox-bike-2.jpg|Maddox's antics against Dick in a nutshell
File:Spaghettitimemaddox.jpg|What a fucking [[incel]]
File:Maddox-endgame.png
File:Maddox-endgame-2.jpg|I don't feel so good anon
File:Imcallingthepolice-maddox.jpg
File:Madlet.png
</gallery>
|}}|border=black|background=#ff8000}}</center>
When it became clear that calling the cyber police so consequences were never the same again wasn't going to cause the video to be removed, [[Herpes|Jessica]] [[Nigger|Blum]] and Podhomo started [[delete fucking everything| false flagging and reporting the video]]. In response, EZ PZ released a "retraction" video that is a retraction in the same way [[herpes]] is a sexual performance enhancer that makes your dick ribbed for her pleasure and [[Maddox| more desirable]] to the ladies. EZ also made it clear that if the Maddox Kuckhold Kissing Krew got the video successfully taken down, he'd get it hosted on ED and get it mirrored everywhere.
|<youtube>x95YRIV_Q9o</youtube> Look at how delicious Maddox’s hot sauce is. Clearly Maddox won't slap his valuable, consumer-friendly brand on just anything!
<center><youtube>REkeIyqYoJo</youtube></center>
|<youtube>Qz7LfPpcRck</youtube> '''''LOOK OUT WORLD: MADDOX IS A GREAT ACTOR TOO! IT'S A WONDER HOW HE DIDN’T GET A T.V. SHOW!'''''
|border=black|background=lightgray}}
|}}|border=black|background=#ff8000}}
</center>
</center>
<br>
==Fun facts==
Given the history and success of the Dick show, how much Encyclopedia Dramatica admins love trolling retards, and the fact that a sizable group of autisms will throw money at anything their Autsim Whisper passingly mentions it's predicted this Encyclopedia Dramatica admin will most likely start being linked to the C.U.N.T. "Network" (whether he wants to be or not), trick autistic Dick heads into giving him a sizable chunk of money, and make a living from the ashes of Maddox's former career. Well either that or continue to be a (((lazy drunk))), after all he is an admin for Encyclopedia Dramatica.
[[Image:Maddoxthaitranny.jpg|thumb|250px|[[At least 100 years ago|Hair-era Maddox]] banged [[IRL]] [[Thai]] [[trannies|dickgirls]] [http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=thailand Here’s the proof].]]
*Maddox thinks [[Something Awful]] is a shitty site. No argument there.
*Maddox is a [[cuck]]. He argues that he’s [[polyamorous]], that he can rail other [[pussy|snatch]] while his “girlfriends” fuck other men. Who has such low self-esteem to let Maddox fuck them?
*Maddox's sister became [[an hero]] because she couldn't live being related to Maddox.
*[[fact|Maddox has erectile dysfunction]]. "Allegedly".
*Maddox, attempting to come out as gay, admitted he likes [[FF7]]. [http://maddox.xmission.com/games.html Here’s the proof.]
*Maddox admits to being a fan of teh [[cawk]]. That means he's gay. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dp-5c3rG2JE#t=00m35s Here’s the proof].
*Maddox likes [[buttsecks]] with [[pedophile|young boys]]. That means he's gay. [http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=april_fools04 Here’s the proof].
*Maddox was interviewed by [[B3ta]], proving their faggotry.
*Maddox is [[Armenians|Armenian]], making him a [[terrorist]].
*Maddox not only loves [[Pantera]], but he loves their early history as a [[fag|glam band]].
*Maddox's frontpage links to [[Ebaumsworld]], [[College Humor|CollegeHumor]], and [[CTRL ALT Delete|Ctrl+Alt+Del]]. No further comment needed.
*Maddox is not only gay, but he’s also a homosexual, making him a FAG².
*Maddox is probably [[Jewish]]. It would explain a lot.
== In a Nutshell... ==
== External Links ==
[[File:Unravel.png|800px|center]]
*http://www.menarebetterthanwomen.com
*http://www.womenarebetterthanmen.com
==See Also==
*[http://biggest.thedickshow.com/ His old podcast with Maddox]
*[[Dick Masterson]]
*[http://thedickshow.com/ His new podcast]
*[[Anita Sarkeesian]]
*http://www.myspace.com/mabtw
*[[Digibrony]]
*http://www.youtube.com/mabtw
*[[King Critic]] - Pedophile fanboy.
*[https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0-Q-6GiLDLrAIkTqNrNr-Q current youtube channel]
Please take note anyone can still edit your Sandbox. You shouldn't worry that much about that and on the bright side, it encourages collaboration and improvement.
If you accidentally deleted what you worked on, do not worry! Check your page history in order to retrieve your previous work!
You may do whatever you want here, but do not turn this page into a redirect or remove this template, it would be counterintuitive.
To Admins/EDitors: This page should not be locked at any time.
Dick Masterson (aka Dax Herrera), is a messenger from God sent to enlightenwomen around the world about why everything sucks because of them, and this consequently makes him the greatest human being alive. His IRL trolling is not only noteworthy for the lulz it has generated over the years, but the fact that so many fall for such obvious bait creates a weird meta-troll effect where he's proven right due to the hordes of butthurt bitches left in his path. His trolling never just stopped at pissing off wimminz though, motivated via the vindictive antics of a certain former associate of his, he took his trolling to new heights by engaging in some of the biggest shitposts in his career, including entertaining Maddox's $380 million lolsuit.
Dick Masterson is also a CalTech honors graduate with a doctorate in rocket science. No, seriously!he actually talked about making rockets and drones that kill terrorists for his day job. Sorry ladies, so much for him being a retard that doesn't have any clue what he is talking about. When a butthurt psychobitch snitched on him, writing to his family and employers to cut off his penis, it was soon revealed his employer could care less since rocket scientists weren't exactly commonplace, he kept doing whatever he wanted to, living his life like the drunken degenerate virgin king supreme.
So, women despise him, men and /b/tards want to BE him, and trollsWISH they could be him. God bless you Dax Herrera, consider this ED article as your #1 fanpage.
At least 100 years ago, Dick owned a website titled menarebetterthanwomen.com, through which he shared his infinite wisdom with fellow assholes and chauvinists on the internet. Having an advanced degree in Dickology, Dick has written many classic works, including this list of reasons on why men are way better than women, something he would turn into a bestseller on and even translated that into a #1 bestselling book on Amazon. The site has remained inactive as of 2010, largely due to the popularity of the video media he produced for JewTube.
Dick:women line up to go out with me! Her:I don't see any women lining up to go out with you, and even if there were, I would be at the end of that line. Dick:Well if you hit the treadmill more, you'd be at the front.
This is an example of a technique Dick pioneered known as the "Verbal Cunt Punt" or VCP for short. It allows dick to turn raging Feminazis back into respectable women without the need to punch or kick their filthy untouched snatches.
Top 10 Reasons why Men are Better than Women
“
Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t fuck up whatever it is that you’re trying to do.
„
—10. Men have penises
“
Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to fuck the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day.
„
—9. Marriage is stupid
“
Men are natural destroyers. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!
„
—8. Boys destroy things
“
Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of retarded kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.
„
—7. Men wear watches
“
Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a shit about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and shit so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.
„
—6. Men write illegibly
“
Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of shit.
„
—5. Men live less than women
“
Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred.
„
—4. Women are racists
“
Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires.
„
—3. Men are not sponges
“
I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues.
„
—2. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome
“
Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of shit. That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.
Dr. Phil without makeupA typical reaction to the truth. Fucking priceless.
Users editing another wiki entirely have spent way more time documenting this bit of internet history you can check that out here
Possibly the most well known and prodigious first appearance of Dick Masterson would have been his very first appearance on Dr. Phil, a Los Angeles-based tabloid talk show hosted by the human thumb from Spy Kids. Dick appeared as his bombastic, chauvinistic self as a featured guest, and once again on the Dr. Phil House mini-series, amid a slew of other guests with similar views. This was essentially a trashy reality TV show where people are exploited for the entertainment of the low-IQ viewers watching that shit. Dick's steadfast approach to criticism as well as his magnetic charisma cemented him as an agent provocateur, inciting self-professed feminists to express their true feelings and views. He simply states a general view about women, and then feminazis, dykes and faggots bombard him with death and castration threats, often accompanied by a generalized claim about men, at which point he exploited their own views for the lulz.
Dr. Phil was so humiliated by the episodes, according to Dick, that he ordered the House of Judgement segments to be cut months after their initial airing, and were eventually BAWWWleeted from the Dr. Phil archive. Later it was revealed that Shirley Dieu (a fictionalized and faked personality created solely for Dick to poke fun at) revealed she had sued Dr. Phil for deceptive business practices and a range of other issues. She revealed that everyone's possessions were confiscated by the production team (including their cell phones), the catering was intentionally terrible and all the guests were forced to share the same bathrooms. Possibly the most egregious thing that happened during filming was a random naked guy literally showing up and exposing their genitalia to the contestants.
Dick placed a $1,000 bounty for the original cuts of the show, which he honored when some Sweedish dickhead somehow ripped a copy from the Swedish National Archive of Recorded Sound and Moving Images, which you can see below.
"Should have stayed in the kitchen where you were safe"
"You're paying for the whore to leave"
Previous Video | Next Video
The Biggest Problem in the Universe
The polarity between the hosts masculinity is uncanny afThen he got an idea. An awful idea. The cuck got a wonderful, awful idea!
On May 20th, 2014, Masterson started a podcast called The Biggest Problem in the Universe with co-host and mutual acquaintance Maddox. The Podcast was pretty pretty awwright at the beginning, but what made the show lulzy was that the entire premise of the show was Dick trolling the shit out of this autistic 40 year old balding Armeniancuck, bringing his overbearingly masculine shit-talking game to the fore and instigating massive chimpouts from his co-host. Over time, the show's fanbase gravitated towards Dick, voting his problems over Maddox's. While Dick really didn't give a shit since this show was just a framing device to allow them to air their pet peeves, Maddox would take this personally and seethe with anger whenever it was brought up. Things that Dick talked about include:
Getting so drunk he took a shit in his fathers pants
Only doing cool drugs
Never using condoms during sex
Talking about how global warming is made up
Talking about how swearing and saying retard isn't cool
White knighting for female guest and getting his jimmies rustled when called out for being a white knight
Forcing Maddox to watch Titanic every time he brought a problem that was shit
On May 31st, 2016, Maddox abruptly cancelled the successful 107 episode Podcast (not including bonus content) due to Maddox being upset that Dick was having sex with his ex girlfriend (whom Maddox had been broken up with for 3 years, and happened while he was already dating his current live in girlfriend). Being cucked by Masterson, he killed the podcast and begun to wage a never-ending war to ruin Dick's personal and professional reputation. On September 25th, 2016, Maddox posted a character assassination video in which he attempted to spin an innocuous statement by Masterson, where he stated that if a woman fell asleep in a bar, she should expect to be taken sexual advantage of because it is a natural consequence of the situation. With this dogwhistle the helldogs of the SJW world descended upon him, leading to his dismissal from Upright Citizen's Brigade(some gay improv group in NYC). Dick refused to disown any of his work, even in the face of threats, and stood by every word he has ever written on his website and in his book (unlike Maddox, who did).
Some time after the drama reddit user Antoids(Archive 1) unleashed the full force of his autism and painstakingly edited every single episode of the podcast to reveal a slew of content that was cut from production. Most of it was Maddox incomprehensibly stammering like Porky Pig, but there were still large chunks of stuff removed where Dick was either laughing at Maddox, joking at his expense, making him look like a dumbass and so on. You can view evidence of this here.
The Dick Show
Ted Kaczynski took the fall for Dick
Sam Hyde's Lost MDE sketch exclusive
The Ballad of Mansplaining
Mansplainception
How the victory of Donald Trump will be
Previous Video | Next Video
Following the untimely death of The Biggest Problem in the Universe, Masterson started his own Podcast called The Dick Show. Weekly tidbits of Hot Goss are distributed like Orange Chicken samples in a supermarket. Hosting the show with him is his co-host Sean Jacobson, and his audio engineer Asterios Kokanos, and a rotating cast of recurring guests, including Lowtax, MadCucks (Trevor Brit), and some weirdo Dick called Steve met once at a Burning Man gig. While the show can be entertaining since it started off being slapped together last minute and devolved into a male soap opera of drama and gossip, and as a result requires the listener to have TL;DR context and backstory of drama involving an dead podcast, then listen to all episodes in chronological order; otherwise, entire 30 minute chunks of an episode make absolutely no sense. Despite being possibly the most TL;DR Podcast in human history that requires more back story and cliff notes than Dungeons & Dragons, it is ranked in the top 20 highest grossing Patreons.
Dick Masterson: Autism Whisperer
In the ashes of Dick Masterson proved to have a very useful weapon in his arsenal that Maddox did not count on. What does a man do when his former business partner attacks him, organizes a smear campaign against him, and leaves you with a fan base full of autistic sperglords? Like the legendary chippo man of yore, you weaponize that autism into your very own personal army.
When Maddox's attack failed miserably and backfired, fans of TDS kicked in a whopping $18,465 (2/2/17) to the Dick fund, spiralling him into a 24-hour, 7 day a week alcoholic rage, condensed into an hour and a half long Podcast.
Dick then channelled the power of autism to outsource the work of finding examples of Maddox advocating sexual assault, causing Maddox to disavow his only successful book. Another autist with far too much time on his hands decided to go through the accounting ledger to show Maddox was lying about his financial claims and actually owed Dick over $5,000. Another poster on the board (Trevor Brit) became a long-term contributor on TDS as a not so subtle parody of Maddox, and ended up earning more money on Patreon than the real Maddox. They then decided to do some epic trolling by purchasing domains related to Maddox and all people associated with Madcast media, troll Maddox's Twitch stream, create a #1 charting comedy album about what a cuck faggot Maddox is and chart higher Maddox's #4 charting comedy album, and pick apart the content of his new book to prove that the entire thing is Maddox recycling old rants from Biggest Problem in the Universe.
Dick has weaponized autism by separating his audience into two catagories: top autist and bottom autist. He incentivizes weaponized autism by giving autists 'life advice' in a simple to understand way even a retard can understand and mocking them when there is too much tism (aka labeling them a bottom autist). Dick is able to do this because he is an autism himself, however instead of focusing his autism into Thomas the Tank Engine and Sonic, he focused it on guns, bombs, telling women they are inferior to men, and trolling. Basicly Dick is /pol/ IRL, minus being half spic and(as of January 2018, Dick is retroactively half Greek) loving jews.
(Yes, a top autist parody of Maddox actually makes more money than the real Maddox.)
HOT GOSS: Dick vs Maddox & Other Associated Drama
When Dick and Maddox broke up due to 'Autistic differences,' Dick attempted to end things as nice as he could saying Maddox was a legend and he was grateful for the opportunity tohost a podcast with him. However, because Maddox is incapable of acting like an adult and both of them are notorious internet trolls, this quickly dissolved and turned into a Battle Royale-grade free for all. As Maddox had already pissed off his fans by killing the podcast they loved and becoming an unfunny cuck, Maddox took the coward's way forward sneaking around implying shit he couldn't back up about Dick and sending his employees to dox, harass employers, and do his general dirty work while publicly pretending to be above it all and to be a good boy who dindu nuffin. Dick, secure in the fact that Maddox made a flaming bitch of himself on his side, handled it like a man by publicly airing his dirty laundry and shaming him. Dick later got a bit more creative and him as well as his army of people who hated Maddox decided to have some fun and:
Create Billboard charting albums about what a cuck Maddox is to out sell his album,
Create a parody of Maddox called Madcucks,
Buy a billboard outside of Madcast Media's official P.O. Box saying what a cuck Maddox is,
Release bonus content from Madcucks that outsells Maddox's bonus content,
Establish a "podcast network" that isn't even really a network, but is still more popular and gets more downloads than Maddox's official Madcast Media network that he hyped up for over 2 years to relase shortly before his book,
Shit talk Maddox's sponsors,
Explain how Maddox makes his money off shirts by selling shitty quality Guildan shirts,
Buy the domain to the super secret domain that Maddox was originally going to name his book,
Release a Madcucks book with that same exact name making fun of what a faggot cuck Maddox is,
Release the financial records of Biggest Problem in the Universe,
Make fun of guests that go on Maddox's show,
Get a restraining order against his current girlfriend Jessica "M3ntal Jess" Blum,
Troll his twitch stream,
Shit on Maddox's podcast reviews,
Leak Maddox's chat logs,
Poach Maddox's audio engineer and making him co-host in exchange for him never working for Maddox again,
Take the Patreon name Maddox,
And sue Maddox of trademark patent disputes.
Dick soon learned just from his own personal beef with Maddox that Drama was profitable and makes for quality content. Other Drama sagas on his podcast include (but are not limited to):
Getting a mod of /r/the_donald to Box a liberal faggot greek Asterios whose only stated training regimen was to "get as fat and train as little as possible just like the real Donald Trump"... and the /r/the_donald mod lost!
Everyone forever mocking the losing mod's girlfriend, a furfag cat-kin
Having a fan almost kill himself on air (see Valentine's Day Massacre)
Inviting Null on as a guest and as a result KiwiFarms getting shut down the next day
Inviting Mike Cernovich on as a guest and then letting his writers and fans mercilessly mock and ridicule Thernovich ever since
A war between his facebook and reddit group who hate and fuck with each other all the time
Advising listeners to drink wrecklessly and do only the cool drugs.
Best debate in the universe: Brought to you by Dick Masterson
After winning his lolsuit, Dick was upset. He wasn't ready for the fun of laughing at Maddox to end and all Maddox wanted to do now was cry in his cuck shed alone and pretend he never tried to do something so retarded. So to spice things up after Maddox released his nuclear option that blew up in his own face, Dick decided on Episode 113 of Biggest Problem in the 2niverse: The search for more money and less Dick Best Debate in Universe to give Maddox, just the Tip of what is looking to be a hilarious future series of dickings Maddox's anus was never prepared for:
To further help Maddox, Dick decided to send his listeners to Maddox's $30,000 website and use his voting system to vote on what new podcast would be allowed on the C.U.N.T network. This caused Maddox to go into a full on autistic rage as he takes voting on his websites super seriously. First attempting to cry to apple to get his iTunes feed that actually has subscribers back. Then getting butthurt and tampering with his own voting to fuck with Dick. To going into such a delusional world of denial he is refusing to address the sickest burn that could possibly happen to Maddox: he is trying to pass off the increase bump in web traffic as legit traffic to his shit show's website.
However, internet Lawsplainer Nick Rekieta explained what the funniest part of all this is (beyond just the lulz of Dick fucking with the feed and using it to shit on Maddox), because Dick was the owner and allowed Maddox to pull his bullshit for over 2 year, Dick can legally and rightfully bill Maddox for all the time he allowed Maddox to use his iTunes feed to upload a shitty podcast.
A full TL;DR break down of how Maddox got cucked out of his own iTunes feed
Dick still owns the iTunes feed because Apple is not going to disregard property law to appease a crying bald faggot who talked shit about them for years, and has said when it comes to his ways to fuck with Maddox, this isn't even his final form.
Destiny Baits Dick into Autsim thunder dome
"I'm not triggered you shithead"Dick knows how to stay calm...also TL;DW
Last tuesday, Destiny used his autism to successfully bait Dick into a "debate." This however was a 'debate' in the the same way autistic screeching is a conversation. Dick being a drunken rage filled asshole who is too lazy to research twitch attention whores, fell into a trap and admittedly he did not perform well in. Destiny accomplished this by making the whole thing about Trump after Dick explicitly said he didn't want to talk about Trump. Destiny using his adderall enhanced autism to find Dick's weakness.
DesTINY shows Dick whose the bigger man
Dick goes up against literally anyone anyone who challenges him like a drunk rage filled asshole
Dick is too lazy to research anything
Dick lets others lead the direction of the conversation to shit on where they take it
Dick is a 24 hour rage
DesTINY demonstrates what physique a master debater should strive forDesTINY may be cumming up short, but at least he never cums up bald
As a result, Dick performed like shit. What was not supposed to be a debate and not supposed to be about Trump and supposed to be about how the way Destiny argues is a cherry picked exercise in confirmation bias that has made the internet and people shittier and unable to communicate, turned into a debate about Trump. When trying to get off the topic, Destiny challeneges Dick's masculinity and accuses him of being a triggered snowflake needing the topic to be changed to keep him engaged in shit he really didn't care about talking about. Around waaaaaay top long into this "debate," Dick finally stops giving a shit and starts making fun of Destiny for being a midget. You could delude yourself into seeing this as some sort of meta-win for Dick as Dick's original statement that the way Destiny talks to people is not an actual conversation, its just autistic screeching to jerk off your ego to appeal to confirmation biases of you audience of tards over click bait talking points; but you can never take a circus midget seriously for over 30 minutes and be considered a "winner" in any way. Dick looked foolish for this, knew it, and openly admits he fucked up by letting Destiny change the subject, use sophistry tricks, and drill down into talking points into a point of absurdity. Destiny immediately declared himself a winner, which is true in the sense that when two special ed students screech at each other in tard rage the one who is louder is the "winner". Destiny also considers it a badge of pride in triggering that he got a guy who is known for a rage based podcast that screams all the time and never does any research and argues from pathos to scream at him and not have researched sourced facts to support his arguments. Destiny's autism truly shines through at the end of the interview:
“
DICK: I guess in the argument department I came up a little SHORT *laughs* you know what thats like. DESTINY: At least I didn't come up a little bald *Hangs up immediately* GOT HIM!
„
—Destiny proving Dick's original point that the way Destiny talks to people is not an actual conversation, its just autistic screeching to jerk off your ego to appeal to confirmation biases of you audience of tards over click bait talking points was wrong by debating that Drumpf is bad.
Dick also has a long list of enemies of the Dick show who he personally will punch in the face the moment an opportunity arises where he can and legally get away with it. This includes, but is not limited to:
Maddox
Destiny
Madcast media
Tim Pool
Elon Musk
Bill Nye
Neil DeGrasse Tyson
Mark Maron
All members of Last Podcast on the Left
Everyone at Cracked.com and it's affiliated podcasts
Amy Schumer
Security Guards
The Police
All employees of the US government (excluding military)
Dick Masterson: Zionist shill?
While Dick doesn't talk about the Jews a lot, it has occasionally come up and has made statements sounding like he want to suck circumcised cock.
Dax speaking out against der fuhrer
While it's unclear if he just fucking around or if Dax secretly worships the children of satan, you should trust Dick as much as you would trust any Isreali. There is a good chance Dick will try and fuck your girlfriend, take your population of fans, and claim he has an ancestral right to it as he lawyers up and rapes you in court.
The Valentine's Day Massacre
On February 14th, 2017, Dustin, a random guy who had made a Facebook page for the show and appointed himself Moderator, brought 3 of the saddest stories to the bonus episode, at one point leaving listeners wondering if the current caller had killed himself. Among the other callers were a sexually-abused and near-homeless trap and a guy with.. well, with just a shitty life. Mind you, he brought these callers into a comedy show. Dustin, as a result of his actions, was sentenced to a day in the stocks down at the marketplace where customers could hiss and curse at him, along with the occasional golden shower.
After EZ PZ's video became one of the top search results for Maddox on Jewtube(no srsly) Maddox's white knight from Podhomo began sperging in the comments to defend m'lady Maddox and her honor. When it became clear that an admin of ED not only doesn't really give a shit about being insulted online, but communicates exclusively in internet shit talk and is more comfortable speaking that language Jessie decided to threaten ED's admin with a lolsuit!
When it became clear that calling the cyber police so consequences were never the same again wasn't going to cause the video to be removed, JessicaBlum and Podhomo started false flagging and reporting the video. In response, EZ PZ released a "retraction" video that is a retraction in the same way herpes is a sexual performance enhancer that makes your dick ribbed for her pleasure and more desirable to the ladies. EZ also made it clear that if the Maddox Kuckhold Kissing Krew got the video successfully taken down, he'd get it hosted on ED and get it mirrored everywhere.
Given the history and success of the Dick show, how much Encyclopedia Dramatica admins love trolling retards, and the fact that a sizable group of autisms will throw money at anything their Autsim Whisper passingly mentions it's predicted this Encyclopedia Dramatica admin will most likely start being linked to the C.U.N.T. "Network" (whether he wants to be or not), trick autistic Dick heads into giving him a sizable chunk of money, and make a living from the ashes of Maddox's former career. Well either that or continue to be a (((lazy drunk))), after all he is an admin for Encyclopedia Dramatica.
BigMeatHuggins22/Sandbox is part of The Best Series in the Universe ★ ★ ★
[SE THE KEYWORD IS THAT THE PERSON BEING CUCKOLDED ENJOYS WATCHING OTHER PEOPLE HAVE SEXTHERE'S NOTHING REALLY INHERENTLY WRONG WITH BEING A CUCKOLD BECAU]
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Antoids (Archive 1) unleashed the full force of his autism and painstakingly edited every single episode of the podcast to reveal a slew of content that was cut from production. Most of it was Maddox incomprehensibly stammering like Porky Pig, but there were still large chunks of stuff removed where Dick was either laughing at Maddox, joking at his expense, making him look like a dumbass and so on. You can view evidence of this here.
