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  {{spoilers|Pokey is actually an evil mastermind, Giygas gets pwnt by little psychic kids, Giygas is the villain in the original game, Lucas's mom dies, the Masked Man is actually Claus, Fassad is actually a Magypsy, and Pokey returns in Mother 3!}}
  {{spoilers|Pokey is actually an evil <s>mastermind</s> fatass, Giygas gets pwnt by [[wat|little psychic kids]], Giygas is the villain in the original game, Ninten's grandmother Maria is actually Queen Mary in Magicant, Lucas's mom dies, the Masked Man is actually Claus, Fassad is actually a Magypsy, and Pokey is [[Lame|trapped in a bubble]] in Mother 3!}}
[[File:Tumblr ky1y5sCg3d1qzyou9o1 500.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Earthbound IRL]]
[[File:Tumblr ky1y5sCg3d1qzyou9o1 500.jpg|thumb|right|200px|Earthbound IRL]]


The '''EarthBound''' series is an [[Pain series|series]] of [[Fail|epic]] RPGs for the [[Old meme|SNES]] and Game Boy Advance that were created by [[Nintendo]] [[last Thursday|in the year 1989]]. Earthbound is the most overrated game among [[Retro|retrofags]], [[Super Smash Bros]] fanboys, and [[autistic]] adults. This game is known as [[Lie|TEH BEST FUKKEN SNES GAME OF ALL TIEM!!11!!]] to [[Retro|Nostalgiafags]] and EB fantards. Earthbound mostly involves a little [[13 year old boys|13 year old]] and his friends bashing and destroying weird enemies like [[lolwut|walking mushrooms, talking traffic signs, suicide bombing trees, hippies, Mad Taxis, Putrid Modlymen, barf piles]], [[niggers]], [[Jews]], and other random enemies by using baseball bats, frying pans, bottle rockets, and [[mindfuck|PSI attacks]]. EarthBound was the only game in the ''Mother'' series released in the [[Jewnited States of Americunts]] since [[Japanese]] people enjoy [[IRL trolling]] [[Americunts]] for teh lulz by refusing to release the other games in the series. As a results, some [[No life|die-hard EarthBound fanboys]] decided to make an [[Engrish|unofficial translation]] of Mother 3. Only one lucky basement dweller holds the sole original copy of the English version of the first game. He then proceeded to put the ROM onto the Internet, so everyone else could [[torrent]] it.  
The '''Mother''' [[Pain series|series]] of [[Fail|epic]] RPGs for the NES [[Old meme|SNES]] and Game Boy Advance were produced by [[Nintendo]] and are the most [[overrated]] games among [[Retro|retrofags]], [[Super Smash Bros]] fanboys, and [[autistic]] adults. '''Earthbound''' is known as [[Lie|TEH BEST FUKKEN SNES GAME OF ALL TIEM!!!1]] to [[Retro|Nostalgiafags]] and EB fantards. It mostly involves a little [[13 year old boys|13 year old]] and his friends bashing and destroying weird enemies like [[lolwut|walking mushrooms, talking traffic signs, suicide bombing trees, hippies, Mad Taxis, Putrid Modlymen, barf piles]], [[niggers]], [[Jews]], and other random enemies by using baseball bats, frying pans, bottle rockets, and [[mindfuck|PSI attacks]], plus an incredibly broken battle system, that's right, you can get fucked up by a small mouse or a bunch of even-smaller slugs as they always have to attack first...even when you need to restore health, you must first let them attack you. EarthBound was the only game in the Mother series released in the [[Jewnited States of Americunts]] since [[Japanese]] people enjoy [[IRL trolling]] [[Americunts]] for teh lulz by refusing to release the other games in the series. As a result, some [[No life|die-hard EarthBound fanboys]] decided to make an [[Engrish|unofficial translation]] of Mother 3. Only one lucky basement dweller holds the sole original copy of the English version of the first game. He then proceeded to put the ROM onto the Internet, so everyone else could [[torrent]] it.  


Mother 3 was actually supposed to be on the [[Nintendo 64]], but since Shigesato Itoi was a [[noob]] and didn't know that a game as big as he wanted was impossible, it suffered the fate of [[Duke Nukem Forever]] until he decided to try again on Game Boy Advance.
Mother 3 was actually supposed to be on the [[Nintendo 64]], but since Shigesato Itoi was a [[noob]] and didn't know that a game as big as he wanted was impossible, it suffered the fate of [[Duke Nukem Forever]] until he decided to try again on Game Boy Advance.
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Despite being a bad Dragon Quest clone, it was very successful in Japan, merely because it was made by a [[celebrity]], Shigesato Itoi, whose only game that he'd played before then was Dragon Quest, of course. He [[Noob|didn't know how to make a game]] and paid some guys to make it for him. The towns have DQN names like [[Fucktarded|Mother's Day, Thanksgiving, Valentine, Easter, etc]]. So the translator changed them.
Despite being a bad Dragon Quest clone, it was very successful in Japan, merely because it was made by a [[celebrity]], Shigesato Itoi, whose only game that he'd played before then was Dragon Quest, of course. He [[Noob|didn't know how to make a game]] and paid some guys to make it for him. The towns have DQN names like [[Fucktarded|Mother's Day, Thanksgiving, Valentine, Easter, etc]]. So the translator changed them.


The story is: [[Nintendo|Ninten]]'s great-grandparents, George and Maria, were kidnapped by [[Wetback|alien]]s [[at least 100]] years ago. George was a [[bad]] enough dude to escape, but [[Win|left his wife to die on an alien planet]]. [[Spoiler|As you don't find out until the end of the game]], Maria raised a baby alien, and George [[WikiLeaks|stole precious information and technology from the aliens]], but [[Fail|didn't use it for anything]], instead living the rest of his life [[forever alone]]. When the actual game starts, Ninten is in his room when he gets [[LOL WUT|attacked by his lamp]]. After saving his [[Pussy|sis]][[Loli|ters]] from a [[Rozen Maiden|possessed magical doll]] and memorizing the exact melody that one of them sings instead of freaking out, he learns that there's an alien invasion. On the way to the town of Mother's Day, he gets attacked by [[Gentlemen|smoking]] crows, [[zombies]], and random guys. He saves a [[loli]] named [[Penis|Pippi]] from a [[zombie]]-infested graveyard and takes her back home. Then he goes to the zoo where [[JESUS CHRIST IT'S A LION GET IN THE CAR|the animals are rampaging.]] And in the zoo he beats up an alien robot. Later he touches a [[Drugs|pink rock]] and warps to Magicant. He meets the queen ([[spoiler|who's really Maria]]) who wants him to risk life and limb to journey around the region with no particular goal except to help her remember a [[Friday|song]]. ([[spoiler|which was Giygas's lullaby]]) He escapes from Magicant, goes to the school in Thanksgiving, and busts out a [[nerd]] named Lloyd, who [[nobody cares]] about because he's such a [[pussy]], and he [[Homeless|was hiding in a trash can]]. [[Terrorist|He helps Lloyd sneak into factories, steal explosives, and blow up shit.]] Then, they ride a train. Optionally, they go and [[kidnap]] a [[Christian]] [[loli]] named Ana, [[Unrealistic Expectations|who's in love with Ninten because he found her hat]], even though [[Stranger|they've never met before.]] After more tl;dr adventures, they end up in Valentine, where, optionally, they meet a [[gangster]] with a [[knife]], named Teddy, who they fight after [[Rebecca Black|they sing]] in a [[nightclub]]. After, he joins because he wants to climb Holy Loly Mountain, but [[GTFO|boots out Lloyd]]. On Holy Loly Mountain, Ana confesses her love for Ninten (Paula doesn't even do this in the sequel) and they all get beaten up by a giant robot and blasted by Lloyd in a tank. Teddy dies (but this is retconned in the rerelease) and Lloyd comes back. Higher on the mountain, they get a giant robot to join the party, which [[pwn]]s everything, but breaks when you leave. After finding all 8 melodies, you fight [[Mewtwo|Giygas]] (who looks like a normal alien in this one) by singing, because Giygas is a nostalgiafag, too. There really wasn't any room for a sequel, even though they added a stinger at the end in the rerelease, so [[Electric Boogaloo|the sequel had completely different characters (aside from Giygas) and locations, and made no reference (aside from Giygas) to the plot of this game.]]
The story is: [[Nintendo|Ninten]]'s great-grandparents, George and Maria, were kidnapped by [[Wetback|alien]]s [[at least 100]] years ago. George was a [[bad]] enough dude to escape, but [[Win|left his wife to die on an alien planet]]. [[Spoiler|As you don't find out until the end of the game]], Maria raised a baby alien, and George [[WikiLeaks|stole precious information and technology from the aliens]], but [[Fail|didn't use it for anything]], instead living the rest of his life [[forever alone]]. When the actual game starts, Ninten is in his room when he gets [[LOL WUT|attacked by his lamp]]. After saving his [[Pussy|sis]][[Loli|ters]] from a [[Rozen Maiden|possessed magical doll]] and memorizing the exact melody that one of them sings instead of freaking out, he learns that there's an alien invasion. On the way to the town of Mother's Day, he gets attacked by [[Gentlemen|smoking]] crows, [[zombies]], and random guys. He saves a [[loli]] named [[Penis|Pippi]] from a [[zombie]]-infested graveyard and takes her back home. Then he goes to the zoo where [[JESUS CHRIST IT'S A LION GET IN THE CAR|the animals are rampaging.]] And in the zoo he beats up an alien robot. Later he touches a [[Drugs|pink rock]] and warps to Magicant. He meets the queen ([[spoiler|who's really Maria]]) who wants him to risk life and limb to journey around the region with no particular goal except to help her remember a [[Friday|song]]. ([[spoiler|which was Giygas's lullaby]]) He escapes from Magicant, goes to the school in Thanksgiving, and busts out a [[nerd]] named Lloyd, who [[nobody cares]] about because he's such a [[pussy]], and he [[Homeless|was hiding in a trash can]]. [[Terrorist|He helps Lloyd sneak into factories, steal explosives, and blow up shit.]] Then, they ride a train. Optionally, they go and [[kidnap]] a [[Christian]] [[loli]] named Ana, [[Unrealistic Expectations|who's in love with Ninten because he found her hat]], even though they've never met before. After more tl;dr adventures, they end up in Valentine, where, optionally, they meet a [[gangster]] with a [[knife]], named Teddy, who they fight after [[Rebecca Black|they sing]] in a [[nightclub]]. After, he joins because he wants to climb Holy Loly Mountain, but [[GTFO|boots out Lloyd]]. On Holy Loly Mountain, Ana confesses her love for Ninten (Paula doesn't even do this in the sequel) and they all get beaten up by a giant robot and blasted by Lloyd in a tank. Teddy dies (but this is retconned in the rerelease) and Lloyd comes back. Higher on the mountain, they get a giant robot to join the party, which [[pwn]]s everything, but breaks when you leave. After finding all 8 melodies, you fight [[Mewtwo|Giygas]] (who looks like a normal alien in this one) by singing, because Giygas is a nostalgiafag, too. There really wasn't any room for a sequel, even though they added a stinger at the end in the rerelease, so [[Electric Boogaloo|the sequel had completely different characters (aside from Giygas) and locations, and made no reference (aside from Giygas) to the plot of this game.]]


Also, Ninten has [[AIDS|asthma]].
Also, Ninten has [[AIDS|asthma]].
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==Characters==
==Characters==
===EarthBound Zero (Mother)===
[[Shit nobody cares about|Nobody cares]] about the characters in this game.


===EarthBound (Mother 2)===
===EarthBound (Mother 2)===
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* [[Nerd|Jeff]] - A kid [[retard|genius]] who can fix broken items and can turn them into [[shit|awesome]] weapons like [[Shoop da whoop|lazers]], [[guns]], bombs, and rockets whenever Ness and hs friends stay over at a Hotel. However, he's your only ally who [[lol|can't use PSI powers]].
* [[Nerd|Jeff]] - A kid [[retard|genius]] who can fix broken items and can turn them into [[shit|awesome]] weapons like [[Shoop da whoop|lazers]], [[guns]], bombs, and rockets whenever Ness and hs friends stay over at a Hotel. However, he's your only ally who [[lol|can't use PSI powers]].
* [[Science|Dr. Andonuts]] - Jeff's father.
* [[Science|Dr. Andonuts]] - Jeff's father.
* [[Azn|Poo]] - The [[Fresh Prince of Bel Air|fresh prince of Damaan]] and a martial arts master who can break your ass in half and who can also use PSI moves like Ness. Unlike Ness, [[Fail|his attack power will go down if he equips a weapon]] [[Pro-ana|and food will only restore 6 HP for Poo]].
* [[Azn|Poo]] - The [[Fresh Prince of Bel Air|fresh prince of Dalaam]] and a martial arts master who can break your ass in half and who can also use PSI moves like Ness. Unlike Ness, [[Fail|his attack power will go down if he equips a weapon]] [[Pro-ana|and food will only restore 6 HP for Poo]]. The prince was named after [[Shit|the waste product expelled from an animals' digestive tract through the anus or cloaca during defecation]].
* [[Troll|Pokey/Porky]] - Ness's fat neighbor with no friends who [[IRL Troll|IRL trolls]] Ness and his friends. He also masterminded the events in Mother 2 and Mother 3.
* [[Troll|Pokey/Porky]] - Ness's fat neighbor with no friends who [[IRL Troll|IRL trolls]] Ness and his friends. He also masterminded the events in Mother 2 and Mother 3.
* [[Creepypasta|Giygas]] - The antagonist of the game, who is actually a [[stoner|red swirling trippy background]] trapped inside a giant machine that resembles a [[vagoo|cervix]]. He plans to enslave the world and to destroy the universe by [[dividing by zero]]. Giygas' dialogue was inspired by experiences of [[Azn|Shigesato Itoi]] when he watched snuff porn as a kid, which [[lulz|mentally fucked up his mind]].
* [[Creepypasta|Giygas]] - The antagonist of the game, who is actually a [[stoner|red swirling trippy background]] trapped inside a giant machine that resembles a [[vagoo|cervix]]. He plans to enslave the world and to destroy the universe by [[dividing by zero]]. Giygas' dialogue was inspired by experiences of [[Azn|Shigesato Itoi]] when he watched snuff porn as a kid, which [[lulz|mentally fucked up his mind]].
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===Mother 3===
===Mother 3===
[[File:Kumatora loli.png|thumb|right|190px|The only reason why [[You|pedophiles]] play Mother 3]]
* [[Blonde|Lucas]] - A [[art theft|look-alike]] of Eddie from [[Plastic crap|Fisher-Price's Little People]]. He's basically the same shit as Ness, except he is has [[autism]] and [[ADD]] which is noticeable in SSBB in the cutscene [[Fucktard|where he stares into empty space]] after nearly gets [[pwned]] by a Porky statue, meaning his [[faggot|friend]] [[pussy|Ness]] has to dive and save his [[retarded|blonde]] ass. [[Shit nobody cares about|Oh, and he can talk to animals or some shit]].
* [[Blonde|Lucas]] - A [[art theft|look-alike]] of Eddie from [[Plastic crap|Fisher-Price's Little People]]. He's basically the same shit as Ness, except he is has [[autism]] and [[ADD]] which is noticeable in SSBB in the cutscene [[Fucktard|where he stares into empty space]] after nearly gets [[pwned]] by a Porky statue, meaning his [[faggot|friend]] [[pussy|Ness]] has to dive and save his [[retarded|blonde]] ass. [[Shit nobody cares about|Oh, and he can talk to animals or some shit]].
* [[Lemonparty|Alec]] - [[Shit nobody cares about|Lucas's grandfather and Hinawa's father]].  
* [[Lemonparty|Alec]] - [[Shit nobody cares about|Lucas's grandfather and Hinawa's father]].  
* [[Mitchell Henderson|Claus/Masked Man]] - [[Shit nobody cares about|Lucas's twin brother]] who tries to avenge Hinawa's death by killing the draco that killed her. He gets lost, gets taken by the Pigmask Army, and is tuned into the masked man. He is the final boss of Mother 3 and he ends up [[An hero|killing himself]] [[self injury|accidentally]].
* [[Mitchell Henderson|Claus/Masked Man]] - [[Shit nobody cares about|Lucas's twin brother]] who tries to avenge Hinawa's death by killing the draco that killed her. He gets lost, gets taken and brainwashed by the Pigmask Army, and is turned into the masked man. He is the final boss of Mother 3 and he ends up [[An hero|killing himself]] [[self injury|accidentally]].
* [[Dyke|Kumatora]] - Unlike Paula, she actually acts tough and actually defends herself if someone tries to molest her. Also, unlike Paula, she is a [[Lesbian|tomboy]].
* [[Dyke|Kumatora]] - Unlike Paula, she actually acts tough and actually defends herself if someone tries to molest her. Also, unlike Paula, she is a [[Lesbian|tomboy]].
* [[MILF|Hinawa]] - Lucas's dead [[your mom|mom]] who died when she was [[raped|mortally wounded]] by the Mecha Drago that Porky's pigmask army mutated.
* [[MILF|Hinawa]] - Lucas's dead [[your mom|mom]] who died when she was [[raped|mortally wounded]] by the Mecha Drago that Porky's pigmask army mutated.
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{|style="margin: auto; text-align: center;"
{|style="margin: auto; text-align: center;"
|{{frame|{{fv|btvids|background-color: blue;|font-weight: bold;
|{{frame|{{fv|btvids|background-color:#9AA3D3;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>v9Ywfep2s1k</youtube>
|<youtube>v9Ywfep2s1k</youtube>
|<youtube>yXZCJX-Py0A</youtube>
|<youtube>yXZCJX-Py0A</youtube>
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|<youtube>8VY3o8kFZxc</youtube>
|<youtube>8VY3o8kFZxc</youtube>
}}
}}
|border=#000000|background=blue}}
|border=#000000|background=#9AA3D3}}
|}
|}


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==Shipping faggotry==
==Shipping faggotry==
Just like any other franchise, EarthBound has fallen victim to shipping wars and shipping faggotry. [[Some argue]] that Ness in in love with Paula, while others believe that [[Lie|they are just friends]]. When people mention this crap in forums, flame wars erupt, and EB fanboys start performing [[ad hominem]] attacks against other EB fantards. [http://ness-x-paula.deviantart.com/ One example of the NessxPaula shipping faggotry can be found here]. EB-shipping fags went batshit when Mother 3 was released in Japan, arguing with other EB fantards that [[Bullshit|Lucas and Kumatora love each other]].
Just like any other franchise, EarthBound has fallen victim to shipping wars and shipping faggotry. [[Some argue]] that Ness is in love with Paula, while others believe that [[Lie|they are just friends]]. When people mention this crap in forums, flame wars erupt, and EB fanboys start performing [[ad hominem]] attacks against other EB fantards. [http://ness-x-paula.deviantart.com/ One example of the NessxPaula shipping faggotry can be found here]. EB-shipping fags went batshit when Mother 3 was released in Japan, arguing with other EB fantards that [[Bullshit|Lucas and Kumatora love each other]].


===Typical fanfiction===
===Typical fanfiction===
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==Gallery==
==Gallery==
<br>
{{cg|Gallery|Gallery|center|<gallery>
{{cg|Gallery|Gallery|center|<gallery>
File:Earthbound Typical fanart.png|Typical fanart
Image:Ness the furfag.jpg|A [[furfag]]'s depiction of Earthbound
File:Ness the furfag.jpg|A [[furfag]]'s depiction of Earthbound
Image:Earthbound_Bidoofs_by_senshuu.jpg|Fucking furries
File:Paula.jpg
Image:Ness cosplay.jpg|Moar eb cosplay.
File:milfness.png
Image:Earthbound_Paula_Grown_Up_Rule_34.jpg|...THIS IS GETTING REALLY CREEPY...
</gallery>|<gallery>
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Earthbound_Bidoofs_by_senshuu.jpg|Fucking furries
Image:39737_-_Earthbound_Giegue_Mother.png|And more [[34]] for [[sick fuck|your enjoyment]].
File:Ness cosplay.jpg|Moar eb cosplay.
Image:Advice_ness.png|[[Advice Dog|Advice Ness]]
File:slide-whistle.gif|frame|Playing the eight melodies on the throat organ.
Image:Mother3Fanart-MagypsyParty.PNG|The [[shemales|Magypsies]] in Mother 3.
Image:Earthbound 2 Kumatora Rule 34.jpg|Not even Kumatora is safe.
Image:MEB10.PNG|[[Mewtwo|Giygas]] [[lie|doesn't resemble any Pokémon at all]]. Nope.
Image:Earthbound Zero Rule 34.png|[[AWWRIGHT|ITS AWWWWWWRIGHT!]]
Image:Neck.png|[[lie|No, really!!! They don't!]]
Image:Ebpaulaness34.jpg|[[AWWRIGHT|ALSO AWWWWWWRIGHT!]]
Image:4432367 - EarthBound starman.jpg|STARMAN.
Image:Earthbound Paula and Mr. Saturn Rule 34.png|OK SERIOUSLY......
Image:Crytoi.jpg|BAWW.
Image:Earthbound_Paula_Grown_Up_Rule_34.jpg|...THIS IS GETTING REALLY CREEPY...
Image:RAEPGiygas.jpg
File:39737_-_Earthbound_Giegue_Mother.png|And more [[34]] for [[sick fuck|your enjoyment]].
Image:Devil__s_Machine_by_soupaboy.jpg|NEED SOME NIGHTMARE FUEL?
File:Advice_ness.png|[[Advice Dog|Advice Ness]]
File:Another Earthbound Group shot by Hyliaman.jpg
File:Mother3Fanart-MagypsyParty.PNG|The [[shemales|Magypsies]] in Mother 3.
File:Earthbound 2 Kumatora Rule 34.jpg| more r34 -_-
File:MEB10.PNG|[[Mewtwo|Giygas]] [[lie|doesn't resemble any Pokémon at all]]. Nope.
File:EarthBound flying_man.png
File:Neck.png|[[lie|No, really!!! They don't!]]
File:2937076 - EarthBound Mother Mother_3 Wolf_con_F pigmask.jpg
File:LOLWUT.png|OH GOD.
 
File:Crytoi.jpg|BAWW.
File:RAEPGiygas.jpg
File:Devil__s_Machine_by_soupaboy.jpg|NEED SOME NIGHTMARE FUEL?
File:Lucas.png|[[gay|ZOMG so kawaii]] [[desu|desu desu desu]]
File:Another Earthbound Group shot by Hyliaman.png
File:Earthbound dicks.jpg
File:Ness semen.jpg|Another ommon scene in the game.


</gallery>}}
</gallery>}}
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* [[Retro]]
* [[Retro]]
* [[Super Nintendo]]
* [[Super Nintendo]]
* [[Mewtwo]] - An obvious ripoff of Giygas from the first game
* [[Mewtwo]] - An obvious ripoff of Giygas from the first game.
* [[Undertale]]
* [[YIIK: A Post-Modern RPG]] - Earthbound if Ness was an insufferable hipster


==External links==
==External links==
*[http://earthbound.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page EarthBound wiki] - [[Vandalism|You know what to do]].
*[http://earthbound.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page EarthBound wiki] - [[Vandalism|You know what to do]].
*[http://starmen.net/ Starmen.net], a well-known EB fansite
*[http://starmen.net/ Starmen.net], a well-known EB fansite
*[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/EarthBound TOW article]
*{{wikilink|EarthBound|TOW article}}
 


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