The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Back in the 90's, Will Smith was the star and lead singer for the theme song in a 90's sitcom depicting the fictional setting of niggers in the high life. While the show itself was as unfunny as every other sitcom ever, the theme song was converted into an exploitable copypasta (usually wincest with a olderer sister) going - and right around the climax of said story, interject with my mom got scared, and said, "You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air." I whistled for a cab and when it came near The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought, "Nah, forget it. Yo, holmes to Bel-Air!" I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cabbie, "Yo homes smell ya later!" Looked at my kingdom I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air.

Unsurprisingly, this got /b/'s attention and they proceeded to exploit the ever-loving shit out of it, evolving into a 4chan /b/ meme depicting other situations that brought to mind the show's tune that would never leave your head. Everyone started using it.

Versions

[-+]Original

Pretty hardcore for a guy who grew up in the suburbs

Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air

In west Philadelphia born and raised
On the playground was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys
Who were up to no good
Startin making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
And said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air'

I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suitcase and send me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.

First class, yo this is bad
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air Living like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.

But wait I hear there're prissy, bourgeois and all that
Is this the type of place that they should send this cool cat?
I don't think so
I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-Air

Well, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out
I ain't trying to get arrested yet
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightning, disappeared

I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I can say that this cab was rare
But I thought 'Nah forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air'

I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later'
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air

[-+]Verbose

This is an anecdote explaining the manner in which my way of life was rotated along a Y axis until it reached a position roughly 180 degrees from that which it started. If I could have 60 seconds of your time, simply place your posterior in the selected location, and I will relate to you the details of how I was made the male monarch of the district of the City of Los Angeles, California located at coordinates 34.08333 -118.44778.

In the western region of the “City of Brotherly Love” known as Philadelphia, my mother expelled me from her womb and indeed that is also where I spent my childhood, in my mother’s care. The majority of my time was spent in a recreational area containing such diversions as a jungle gym, swing set, sand box, etc. I was typically at the height of leisure while frequently at a temperature slightly below what might be considered standard room temperature. Outside of my educational institution I was engaging in a game of basketball with some of my peers, when two gentlemen who seemed to be of the disposition to cause a great deal of mischief began causing a great deal of chaos and disharmony in the area in which I lived. I was involved in one rather small bout of fisticuffs after which my mother became concerned for my general safety and well-being, and she informed me that I would be moving in with her sister and her sister’s husband in the previously mentioned community located at the previously mentioned location.

I implored my mother to relent approximately 24-48 hours ago, yet she gathered my belongings in a somewhat flat, rectangular shaped piece of luggage and expelled me from her presence. She placed her lips upon my cheek in an affectionate manner and handed me a pre-purchased pass for public transportation. I placed the headphones for my personal music system into my ears and verbalized the idea that I may as well impact this situation with my foot. Traveling in the highest available level of comfort, this is indeed an unfortunate situation (although I make this statement with some irony). Consuming the juices obtained by the squeezing of the fruit of a Citrus sinensis from a piece of glass stemware commonly reserved for the sipping of sparkling wine originating from the Champagne region of France, I pause to wonder if this is indeed how the residents of the admittedly upper-class neighborhood located at the previously mentioned location commonly live. Indeed, I find this situation may be rather to my enjoyment.

I puckered my lips and exhaled forcefully to produce a shrill note in order to gain the attention of a taxicab driver, and as the driver approached I observed his California vanity plate which, in place of the traditional jumble of alpha-numeric characters, used only the letters F, R, E, S, and H, spelling out the word “fresh”. Additionally, from his rear view mirror dangled a pair of over-sized, fur-covered cubes decorated to look like the six-sided dice commonly used in gambling and board games. In such a situation I could have made a statement about the unusualness of this particular taxicab to the point of it being nearly unique. Instead I cognitively decided against it and instead informed the driver that he should deliver me to what was to become my new home in the community located at the previously mentioned location.

We pulled up to a large domicile sometime between the hours of 7 and 8 o’clock a.m., and in a loud tone of voice I informed the cab driver that at some undetermined point in the future I would again detect his odour through my sense of olfaction. I gazed about the region of land that I was destined to rule, reflecting on my arrival: Here I would claim my rightful place upon the throne, from which I would govern the previously mentioned community of Bel-Air as monarch.

[-+]riA-leB

In Bel-Air, California, born and raised
At the country club is where I spent most of my days.
Having a lark, relaxing all day
Driving some balls right down the fairway

When a band of ruffians, believing they had impunity
Started making trouble in my community
I got in one mere tussle and it gave my mom the willies,
She said "You're moving to your aunt and your uncle in West Philly."

I hired a limo, and as it drew near
The license plate said "DAPPER" and it had dice in the mirror.
I could only deduce that this limousine was quite frilly,
But I paid it no mind and directed the driver, "To West Philly!"

I arrived at the house at 7:34
And gave a generous tip to my kindly chauffeur
Looked upon my new residence, the weather was chilly
But I knew that I was now the Dapper Lad of West Philly

[-+]Laptop Rager

[-+]Maple Story

[-+]Pedobear

This is the story all about how
my life got flip turned upside down
So if you take a moment and sit right there
I tell you how I became the meme called pedobear.

In west Neverland born and raised
Stalking the playground is how I spent most of my days
Checking out max relaxing all cool
Playing with my balls outside of the school
When a couple of kids who were looking real good
Didn't check the offender registry in their neighborhood.
I touched one little kid and her mom got scared and said, "I'm calling the FBI on you sick pedobears"

So I whistled for a van but when it came near
the license plate said chan and there was a party in the rear
If anything I could say this van was a snare
But I thought, "Nah forget it, you can't catch a running bear"

I pulled out of the girl, who was seven or eight
and I yelled to the moralfags, "Yo homos, sage you later"
Looking at her crotch I got there before the hair
She can sit on my bone cause I'm the Pedobear.

[-+]Yu-Gi-Oh

Now this is a story all about how
my life got flipped; turned upside down;
And I'd like to take a minute;
just sit down, James;
I'll tell you how I became the undisputed King of Card Games.

In northeastern Africa, born and raised;
in the palace was where I spent most of my days
chilling out max and relaxin' all the while,
or playing some card games right beside the Nile.
When a couple of guys who were up to no good,
starting making trouble in my neighborhood!
I got in one little fight and the gods got scared;
they said "You're moving in with Yugi and his Grandpa downstairs!"

I wound up in Japan and things were less clear;
like I couldn't kill folks for losing card games here!
If anything, I could say that this place is lame;
but I thought, "Nah forget it I'll play some card games!"

I bought card game booster packs, seven or eight;
and I yelled at the old man "Yo, Homes, smell ya later!"
Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there
to sit on my throne with my ridiculous hair!

[-+]Rape-Air

I am a 28 year old male, whom is still girlfriend free, if you ladies are interested. Throughout my whole life, I was bullied and teased for my weight and my strange demeanor. In my quest for a boyfriend-free girl, it appears to be futile in that even when I was advertising myself as a caring, nice man, women flocked to the more masculine types. Sorry, I got carried away, I'm just in an emotional dilemma, for I was raped by not just one black man, but seven. Yes, seven, seven of which raped me with much bestial fervor. I was in west Philadelphia at the time, at my childhood playground, playing a game of auto-basketball by myself as I usually would every Sunday. Night was coming, and I practiced frivolously to improve my basketball prowess. As I made my last free throw shot, several of those hooligans entered the court; I was not aware of the events that would proceed. They said to me, if I can recall it accurately, "YO WHITE BOY, YOU GONNA GET RAPED!!!!" I was startled, yet steadfast. I had rights to this public domain, and no African American was going to keep me from exercising that right!!!! However, I would find that my rights were not the only things violated, but also my body; my forbearance was my demise. I would not appease to the minorities demands, and, as if time stood still, the buckle holding my suspenders was unhooked. I buffered to the door, simultaneously calling for help, but only to be replied with a miserly old woman's heckling. Why was I chosen by fate, no, by God to be the victim of such a crime? I looked into her callous eyes, which taunted me. Suddenly, four words escaped from her lips, "You gonna get raped..." The shadow she casts bore remarkable similarities to the devil, then I looked at the reflection in her spectacles. I saw the sweat running down my face, my bloodshot eyes filled with tears, the seven beast subjugating me, my fate. My cries of help were only meant with the heckling of that wretched geezer, who's visage resembles that of Madea, and the breathing of the seven. They took off my suspenders, tore through my limited edition Capt. Kirk replica uniform, and bounded me with rope. They raped me and my dignity that day, and I'll never forget the heckling of that wretched witch and those barbarians.

[-+]Pirate

Now here be a tale, all about how me life got flipped, turned upside-down, And I'd like to take a minute, So just sit right there, I'll tell you how I became the pirate of a port called Bel-Air. In West Philadelphia, born and raised, On the shipyard is where I spent most of me days Chillin out, maxin', relaxin' all cool, And all shootin some cannons outside of the galleon When a couple of Brits, who were up to some good, Started shippin' gold in me neighborhood, I got in one little battle and me captain got scared He said 'You're movin with your first mate and cabin boy in Bel-Air!' I whistled for a dingy and when it came near The side said 'S.S. Fresh' And it had dice in the mast! If anything I could say that this dingy was rare But I thought 'Yarr, forget it - Yo, mate to Bel-Air!' I pulled up to the port about seven or eight, I yelled to the captain 'Yo mate, smell thee later!' Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there To sit on me throne as the pirate of Bel-Air!

[-+]WW2

In Western Europe born and raised, At the theater room where I spent most of my days, Planning plotting and acting all cool, Shooting some traitors to instill loyalty true, When a couple of Allies were up to no good, Started running forces through our neck of the woods, We lost a couple of little fights and my generals got scared, They said "You're moving with your cabinet to the bunkers down there"

I waited for my escort and when they came near, The jeeps had troops and guns in the rear, If anything I thought this protection was rare, But I said "Nah forget it, yo home to down there!"

I pulled up to the elevator at about seven or eight, And yelled to the guys "Yo troops, your medals come later" I looked at my bunker, I was finally there, To settle my defeat as I breathed in stale air.

[-+]Evangelion

Now this is the story all about how All life got flipped, turned upside down I'd like to take a minute for what it's worth I'll tell you how I became queen of the death and rebirth

In Nerv's lab born and raised Experiments are how I spent most of my days Being cloned, synchronizing, piloting, all cool And all taking a dip in Nerv's indoor pool

When a couple of Angels who were taller than a tree Started making trouble in Tokyo-dash-three I got in one little injury and Gendo got scared and said "We're gonna send Shinji Ikari out there!"

[Next verses are only on the full version, which was played only in the first three episodes of season one of "Shin Seki Fresh Queen of Death and Rebirth"]

We fought in many battles through many days But Shinji pussed out and he went off on his way He went to the train and he displayed his ticket He put his walkman on and said "I should have been hit!"

Then he comes back, yo what a fag! Just because of Misato, that stupid hag Is this what the second children ought to act like? Hmmm, this ain't quite right!

But wait, I hear the Seele, compilation and all that Is that the kind of end in store for this cool cat? I don't think so, nor does the third I hope they're prepared for the death and rebirth

Well, I was cloned again and when I came out There was dude looked like an Angel standing there with my name out I ain't the same as you, Kaworu, the fifth child So I knew that things were about to get wild

I whistled for Gendo and when he came near His hand was labeled "ADAM" and I pulled it in here I fused and grew huge, quite an increase in girth But I said "Aww forget it, time for death and rebirth!"

I pulled up to the lab around seven or eight And I yelled to the people "Yo homes, here is Rei!" But I took Shinji and sent him back to earth And so now I'm the queen of the death and rebirth

[-+]Jesus

Now, this is a story all about how My body got nailed up to a cross And I liked to take a minute heres how begins I'll tell you how I died for all your mortal sins

In west Bethlehem I was born and raised In Nazareth was where I spent most of my days Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool And all makin some wood cups, wowin' some fools When a couple of Romans Who were up to no good Said I wasnt behavin; in the way that I should I had one last supper and my men drank wine I said eat my body drink my blood and Ill be fine

I was nailed to a cross and when death came nearer The light shown brightly and I saw a little clearer If anything I could say that the roman wins But I thought now forget it, Ill die for your sins

They. pulled. me to my grave about seven or eight And I rose from my tomb yo, home smell you later Looked at my kingdom I was finally there To settle in heaven and listen to prayer

[-+]Obituary

Actor/Musician Will Smith, Dead At 37 Monday, December 26th, 2012 Posted: 4:42 PM EST (16:42 GMT)
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania (AP) -- Will Smith, the famous actor and musican, has died late Sunday night in his home town of Philadelphia.

Smith, 37, was killed in a car accident late in the evening. Smith was stuck by a taxi cab while speaking with his wife Jada Pinkett Smith, the cab was speeding and came onto the sidewalk striking Smith and throwing him face first against the windshield. Smith was killed instantly.

One eyewitness who will remain nameless stated "The last thing he saw was the dice on the mirror".

"This is a long sad day for us." Wayne Phillips Philadelphia chief of police said.

Will Smith was the second of four children of Caroline and Willard Smith Sr. He grew up in middle class West Philadelphia and got the nickname 'Prince' because of the way he could charm his way out of trouble. Pursuing music, he met Jeff Townes at a party and they soon began performing together as DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince. After his music sales stated to slide Will began an acting career on the hit TV Show "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Will basically played himself; a street-smart West Philly kid transplanted to Beverly Hills. The series lasted 6 years. During that time, he ventured into movies where the critics took note of him. In 1996 he had a huge hit with the Blockbuster Independence Day where he played the alien-battling Marine Corps Captain Steven Hiller.

The accident was a hit and run and the perpetrator is still at large. According to eyewitnesses the license plate on the vehicle said "FRESH"

Phillips said "It's a really sad moment for us."

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