Tobuscus

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Only you can prevent rape!
Toby at his best.
Very subtle. Brainwashing teens into weeaboo fags.

Toby "Tobuscus" Turner or Tobias Joseph Turner is the guy who you will never be (No kidding, because you'll never amount to anything). He is the guy who took the simple things and placed himself into them to create something of different intellectual property with no real effort. From sneezing fetishes and lemon parties, to reviewing fails and creating gameplay commentary, Toby is a just regular internet user who joined the bandwagon of changing other peoples content and making fuckloads of money from it, via the power of jewtube. In all seriousness, this guy reviews viral videos (Implying his opinion actually means anything) and talks random bullshit while playing video games (Who doesn't? The only difference is he records it.) successfully making 16 year old girls wetter than Justin Bieber after his bestiality fix.

The Fail, Fail, Fail.

Even kittens despise.

Toby's online show consists of him spending 5 seconds searching the internet for a cute video, a win video and a fail video (Considering how the internet is made up of them, hardly any effort whatsoever) and putting them together to make the vast populace clap like a retarded seal at his amazingness, when all he's done is save you the effort you lazy fuck. Accurately naming the show CuteWinFail, he's yet to put his own show in the Fail section of itself. However, doing this makes him better than than Ray William Failson who only reviews youtube trends (which are on the already on the homepage making Ray spend 1 second searching), but being better than shit leaves you to decide for yourself how great he is. Sadly Toby and FailFailFail is very overrated.

   
 
"I was doin' pretty well..my mom said...She said 'You're talented Toby' I'm like 'Yes I know mom I know' Shes like 'You're talented and you're gonna make something of yourself' And I'm like 'I know mom, you're embarrassing me' And shes like 'Why do you keep dying in the game Duke Nukem? You suck' I'm like 'Wha Excuse me?' NOO GOD DANGIT NOO AHH! 'Why'd you just look at the pipe bomb just then you stupid' 'Mom I swear to God mom you shut your mouth. Just because you're bigger than me..."
 

 
 

—Toby during a nightmare.

Literally Shit and Hothotshit

Toby's response to negative comments.

If you thought reviewing Viral videos is the laziest way of getting popular, think again. Toby managed to scratch another simple trick to E-Fame from his ass cheek, by simply putting the beautiful eyecandy that is movie and game trailers to his shitty singing voice. Now I know what you're thinking, writing a song about trailers must take creativity and originality, but all Toby does is sing about whats happening in the fucking trailer, hence the name Literal Trailers. Someone should create a petition to have them renamed to Shiterally trailers.

On top of that, Toby has taken to singing already famous songs such as Star Spangled Banner and theme songs from hit movies such as Pirates of the Caribbean replacing their lyrics with the word 'hot' and nothing else. Selling the so called Hot Symphonies for 99 cents on iTunes, cuntbags from all over the world flock to download it and put it on their iPods in the thousands making him richer and richer for doing fuck all.

   
 
HotHotHotHotHot HotHotHotHotHot.
 

 
 

—Tobuscus.

Lazy Video Logs

Advertising his merchandise in each vlog, ITS ALL ABOUT THE MONEY!

If this guy is good at anything, it's getting famous by doing nothing. Bring on his so-called 'Lazy Vlogs' in which he goes for a walk (usually with his dog, falcor) and talks about the things he did during the day.. Usually the sight of a flying plane turns him into a raging homosexual or perhaps flowers, and he has a unique intro which causes instant ejaculation from his fans simply consisting of him putting his finger over the camera lens. OMGWTFBBQ so complex and original only god could have conceived it.

Hitler Inspired

Jewtube videos


Toby is clearly a fan of Lemonparty


Once again ripping off other content

Rape Allegations

Some Bitch named April Efff made a Tl;dr post on tumblr claiming she got sexually abused by Toby while in a relationship with him for five years. It is quite obvious that she was lying, just like Kesha, and is just trying to be yet another dumb Attention Whore trying to gain E-fame on teh internets, this can be said for two reasons.

  • 1. She did not go to the police (she was probably thinking: "Hey if i don't go the police and instead make a big tumblr post about it people will just think I'm to scared to go to the police!")
  • 2.She probably thought she could get away with being a attention whore due the face that noone likes Toby.


Her post can be found here:[[1]] WARNING TL;DR

Gallery

Gallery of TobyFail About missing Pics
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See Also

External Links


Tobuscus is part of a series on

Gaming

Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.

Tobuscus is part of a series on YouTube.

Visit the YouTube Portal
Let's Players

Tobuscus
is part of a series on
Let's Players

[HA HA GAYStart watching]

Tobuscus
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Surprise Sex

Forms of Rape

Almost Rape 💔 Asking for it 💔 Ass Rape 💔 Baby Rape 💔 Cæk Ræp 💔 Cyber Rape 💔 Date Rape 💔 Ear Rape 💔 Fart Rape 💔 Gay Rape 💔 Prison Rape

Rapey Shit

Battle Raper 💔 Campus Rape Epidemic 💔 Clarissa 💔 Here Comes The Airplane 💔 Netorare 💔 Rape Checklist 💔 Rape Clock 💔 Rape culture 💔 Rape Day 💔 Rape dollars 💔 Raped Statistics 💔 Rape Kit 💔 RapeLay 💔 rape.sh 💔 RapeX 💔 Raping Little Suzy 💔 Sharking 💔 Stealthing 💔 You Gonna Get Raped

[No means no!Moar ræp plox!]