Suburbs

Suburbs cause people to go to totse.

The Suburbs, also known as "suburbia" or "the burbs", is an assembly-line built housing community that one day everyone will live in. In the outskirts of cities suburbs grow rapidly like a spreading cancer on the landscape devouring resources, farmland, and hope along the way. The suburban community consists of a specific ratio:

Per 10,000 identical houses, with identical soccer moms, who drive identical minivans and have identical kids named Jason and Jenniferrrrr, there are:

• 15 Wal-Marts
• 20 Strip Malls
• 30 Synagogues
• 50 Gas stations
• 200 DNC offices
• At least 100 7-11 outlets
• 300 fast food restaurants
• And a partri~dge in a pear tre~e!

Spoiled Shits

YO YO! I BE FROM DA GHETTO!! THUG LYFE!

All families from the suburbs are fairly rich folks and have at least two SUVs per child they have, as well as both parents who work. Suburbs create many problems starting with the children who are spoiled beyond all belief with the massive amount of income generated by both parents. Since the parents put their jobs and plans for that new Hummer that needs to fill the eighth empty garage spot first, the children are left at home with the T.V on to act as a babysitter. With the combination of watching such mindfucking garbage as MTV as well as having unmoderated access to the internets, the kids will turn into some of the worst scum of society.

The boys will turn into dumbass wiggers who can't speak a word coherent English, and the girls will turn into slutty dressing prostatots who pull all sorts of stupid shit thanks to sites like Livejournal, MySpace and DeviantART. All this violently stupid behavior goes unpunished because society now believes that discipline and a good spanking is child abuse, so drugging them with Ritalin for the hyper, and Paxil for the emo is the more "humane" solution. Suburbs are only second to the Deep South in terms of inbreeding. There is no medication for that though and instead it is accepted as another liberal alternative lifestyle based in the tenets peace and love.

Education

Suburban education is one of the most useless education systems in the world. Classes typically contain repetitive subject material, and tests are solely based on memorization as opposed to critical analysis. Everyone is expected to go to college, therefore creating useless diploma mills because trade school is falsely considered to be for morons, because working with your hands is a bad thing. Homework is assigned to mindlessly indoctrinate students, and the work is quickly forgotten.

Most universities have horrible cafeteria food and are extremely expensive. The classes are useless, as nothing that you learn is even close to what you experience in the real world (trust me on this). Most teachers/professors are know-it-alls who are focused on grades and prizes, as opposed to the enjoyment of new discoveries. Anyone that argues against the Soviet Union is automatically given a failing grade.

Politics

Everyone in suburbia is either a limousine liberal or a cuckservative. The limousine liberals worship Hillary Clinton as being part of the democratic establishment, or they worship Bernie Sanders because they think Communism is the answer to everything. The cuckservatives are just superficial. Both sides are equally racist, and also PC about it. They think anyone who isn't a white successful individual is a worthless loser in politics, AKA people that genuinely want to break the mold.

Disconnect from Reality (Stupidity)

Suburban people are the most ignorant, uneducated people in the world. Many talk about how other countries like France and Germany are vastly superior to America, not realizing that nothing works in France, not even the showers or toilets, and that Germany is more socially conservative. They claim that the Chinese are smarter and Americans are morons, not realizing that most suburban Asians represent 0.000000000001% of Asia.

A lot of them believe in racial equality, not considering that there are no black people in the suburbs. This is why many suburbanites proudly proclaim themselves to be "anti-racist" (TM), having never set foot in the inner city.

Additionally, they invent weird movements like neurodiversity, which assert that most autistics are geniuses, when they are really just Chris-Chan. They pour lots of money into those subcultures and get fake news sources like the New York Times to support them.

Destruction of Society

Due to such long ways out of the communities and lack of proper transit everyone must have a car, making suburbs the biggest cause of traffic in cities, pollution, and SUV rollover fatalities. Another problem is everyone will eventually become fat and have diabeetus since everyone eats fast food. One day, estimated in a few years, society will come crashing down when the spoiled little fucktards who lived on their parents dime for all their lives, will have to get work to support themselves and their should-have-been-aborted offspring when their parents die. The parents were the last generation without the instant gratification of the internets which actually made them able to focus and gain their successful careers instead of ignoring schoolwork to check the latest message they got on FacebookDISREGARD THAT. They are a bunch of entitled white asshats whose careers are only successful because they jew'd the inheritance away from their siblings who have since joined the ranks of America's forgotten impoverished and unemployed.

Further damage will result from all the CO2 emissions from SUVs causing global warming to melt the ice caps and flood the Earth. With these waters combining with trillion tons of garbage created by fast food outlets; the streets will flow with filth and cause global AIDS. We can only hope the Chinks nuke all the suburbs before that can happen.

And nothing of value will be lost.

See Also

• Colorado - scientists have estimated that by the year 2028 that the entire state will essentially become a Denver suburb.
• Columbine
• Hell (See: Phoenix suburbs)
• White People
• NORPs

	Suburbs is part of a series on Life [BRB HugboxGo Live One]
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Suburbs is part of a series on Columbine

[All jocks stand up!NBK]