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Daniel Woodward
Remember when you were around three or four, maybe seven or eight years old and watching Thomas the Tank Engine on TV and maybe VHS? OldDirtyBtard sure doesn't. But hey.
Daniel Woodward is an underage shut-in Britfag who got attention from /vp/ because of his obsession with mixing Pokémon with Thomas the Tank Engine. His blatant lust for Misty and Thomas rapefics is the reason why he has an entire deviantART gallery devoted to Pokémon/Thomas crossovers.
Unsurprisingly, Daniel is a member of The YouTube Thomas Club.
He must be like 10, right?
Unfortunately not. Daniel is really 16 years old according to a journal of his. For his 16th birthday he was given more children's toys like he has received for the past decade. If this doesn't scream aspie, then Daniel has had one hell of a fucked-up childhood.
Why he is continuing the ruination of two famous cartoons nobody knows. Perhaps one day, he'll think he is too old for Thomas and switch to Sonic, eventually becoming CWC 2.0. Perhaps Daniel got stuck in nostalgia mode and cannot stop living past the age of three. Then again, he could have just stopped at being a collector of rare stuff. But no, he gasms over anything he sees that is Thomas related. Further down the line, he started drawing fourth-grader art and putting it on deviantART, combining it with Pokémon for the ultimate autistic experience.
To this day, Daniel has a very large set of Tomy Thomas trains which he still uses. In a nutshell, these are battery-powered plastic trains on plastic track segments made by Britfags. These are designed for 3-year-olds. No doubt Daniel is going to grow up to be a manchild.
Daniel is currently addicted to a mediocre train simulator called Trainz. On top of that, he even installed Thomas train mods to completely overhaul the game.
After being found by the *chans, Daniel was nominated for mascot of /vp/ after an epic thread about him was posted. Even his brother browses /v/, seemingly doesn't give a fuck about him and posted his artwork on the board.
Deviant faggotry
Daniel joined deviantART in July 2009. He created his account for one sole purpose: Sharing his train fetishes with the world.
As an active user of deviantART, Daniel has pages and pages of shitty flat art and recolors to do with either Pokémon or Thomas. Comments are closed for certain drama-causing images due to the butthurt he received for making such atrocities. Being the friendless cunt he is, Daniel blocks anyone citing any sort of criticism. Trolls have recently begun to watch him in case they can befriend him and help spark lulz.
Whenever Daniel isn't making shitty mspaint art, he bitches about having constant artist's block in the form of journals and pictures.
Station's closed
After somehow getting wind of 4chan trolling him (apparently), Daniel decided to close both of his known accounts. If he pops up ever again nobody knows, but it'll be easy to recognize him by his shitty art style.
Gallery
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We don't know what's going on either, May
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Brock called, he wants his chin back
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How many shows will he ruin?
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DAT CHEST ARM
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Something is wrong here...
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It screams illogical.
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It looked innocent until that line of sight.
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How does this even happen?
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A very curvy May standing under what is apparently a tree
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What sort of light sickfuckery is this?
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DAT ANATOMY
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I don't think you have any friends, enjoy your train set.
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Dem seductive eyes
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<ptime> I did not know train's could get constipation
Use scrollbar to see the full image
Daniel's words of wisdom
—I don't even | ||
Previous Quote | Next Quote
Copypasta
Untitled May/Thomas rapefic by /vp/ writefag
May stood on the station platform. It was a bleak day. The sky was a pale canvas of grey, cold wind tearing past her violently, consuming her and causing her hair to dance wildly. She was alone. It seemed there was not another soul for miles around.
In the distance, she heard a low rumble that could only mean one thing:
The train was coming.
May fretted nervously. The cold wind had not only messed her hair, but hardened her nipples as well. She crossed her arms tightly over her chest, digging her fingernails into her shoulders so hard it drew blood. She felt herself breathing faster as the sound of the approaching train grew louder.
May began shuddering violently, dragging her nails across her cold arms. Small rivlets of blood began running down her forearms. She bit her lip and began grinding her thighs together as she felt a wet heat begin to build between them.
The distant rumble had become a thundering cacophony. The train was almost there.
May's eyes widened as the train finally came ino view. She saw him on the horizon. He rolled in, a moutain of royal blue metal, erupting smoke like an atomic volcano of steel. It was him. It was her beloved. Her one and only.
Thomas The Tank Engine had arrived.
She watched him slowly pull into the station. She could barely control herself as he putted past her, slowing to a relaxing stop. She stood for a moment, completely transfixed by the overpowering sense of dominance that radiated off him. He was a living monument to modern mass transportation, and it drove her wild. Then he spoke to her.
"Jump down onto the track, May. Its time to put this train through some tunnels."
May's heart was racing as she paced down to the front of Thomas' body. She paused for a moment, paralysed by the sculpted good looks of Thomas' face. There was hunger in his eyes. May could only think that she would do anything to sadisy that hunger. Anything. She leapt down onto the track, stumbling on the gravel and landing face down. As she tried to pick herself up, she heard Thomas speak to her again.
"No, May. Do not move. That will do just fine. Just fine."
May lay back down on her stomach and spead her legs. Gripping the rails with her hands, she braced herself for what was to come.
May heard Thomas start up again and roll slowly towards her. She closed her eyes, her official Thomas The Tank Engine panties now soaked thoroughly through.
"Oh May, you've no idea how badly I've waited for this moment. I know the others would frown on our love, but its not wrong. You are the only one for me, May. I choo-choo-choose you."
May lifted her head and screamed out as loud as her lungs would allow.
"Fuck me, fuck me hard, fuck me now"
May saw a shadow slowly cover her, and she knew it was finally time.
"Dont worry May, I had The Fat Controller attatch some new parts to me that will make this a very pleasurable experience for you. Here I go."
Thomas opened his mouth and extended his mechanical penis. In itself it was a miracle of modern engineering, fashioned out of gold and completely automatic. Thomas guided it down between Mays legs, and, as she reached back to pull her panties to one side, gently thrust it into her hot wetness.
May cried out in ecstasy as she felt Thomas penetrate her with cold hard steel. As the mechanical penis began firing up, slowly and rhymically pounding her, she began thrusting her hips in time, biting her lip and stiffling moans of pure pleasure.
May could feel her orgasm building in the pit of her stomach as Thomas tried to talk dirty to her.
"Doth dat feel goo? Yeaaah, ooh beth or ass it duth."
May screamed her approval as she felt her orgasm finally explode within her. Her body shuddered violently as Thomas raised her up off the ground.
"Now ith time to refuel, May."
And with those simple words, Thomas retracted his penis and swallowed May whole. Her body was crushed between the gears and pistons of Thomas' insides, her blood giving him fresh energy.
Slowly Thomas started up, and began pulling out of the station to continue on his way.
The End
See Also
External Links
Daniel's YouTubeClosedDaniel's dADeactivated- Google Cache screenshot of his deviantART
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Daniel Woodward is part of a series on Visit the DeviantART Portal for complete coverage. |
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Daniel Woodward is part of a series on Aspies. | [Sperg out] |
| Featured article October 6, 2010 | ||
| Preceded by Rick Sanchez |
Daniel Woodward | Succeeded by Bedford |