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AtWar
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AtWar is an online rip-off of Risk where you very realistically start with a country like Uzbekistan or Canada and take over fucking everything. The game features such prominent players as Gardevoir, Zizou and HUEHUEHUEHUE. Other common names are Hitler and anything else to do with Nazis.
Community
As mentioned before, the AtWar community is made up of a bunch of faggots and at least 100 neo-Nazis. Among these are Jews, Serbs, Turks, and grown men, but despite this terrible mix within the community they all managed to come together for great justice to eliminate all the bronies through genocide. When the mods discovered this genocide, they sadly put an end to it. The small minority of people who are below the age of 35 are very cool and edgy because they are commies that can make their countries in UN games communist.
AtWar has a shitty playerbase, how it has kept itself together for so long itself is the 8th wonder of the world, which is ironic since the game is essentially about war, fucking over people, and aligning with people. Some people seem to have a sense of humor, while others don't.
Mods
If you think that arresting Al Capone over a car ticket was something amazing, just wait until one of the mods permaban your ass for no reason, shortly followed by excuses that you never read the rules.
Tik-Tok's List
If you are one of the unlucky poor souls that got their ass on the list, you may as well kill yourself and stop wasting oxygen.
Map making
Two types of people lurk in this area. There are the gay artists who spend 5 minutes on each pixel so it will look fabulous and the most autistic people in the game. People like to make maps in order to claim that they have made a masterpiece and thus can create OC despite hundreds WWII maps already being made. Some Jews make more than one. There is a special place in hell for people who leave in the first turns while playing a map/scenario.
UN Games
Besides the WWII maps, there are other types of maps called UN Games. In UN games, you sit for 5 hours doing nothing until someone puts a troop on your territory or attacks you, then you go batshit insane saying "OMG ROGUE!!!11!!111111111!" and calling the UN to help you before ragequitting when the UN does nothing, just like the real UN!. UN games were invented by Cpt. Magic as just an idea for a fun game. He sadly didn't realise the amount of AIDS, fail and retardation he was about to bring upon the poor people of AtWar. UN Games are very easy to troll, but beware, you might end up on somebodies enemy list and will not be allowed in their games! Then again, if you really care so much, just use an alt or a guest account.
—Typical UN game | ||
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How to troll UN games:
- Go rogue (bonus points if you are UN)
- Call someone else rogue
- Declare war on someone
- Tell someone they fail at UN games (because they do) and that they should kill themselves (because they should)
- Leave on first turn (bonus points if you are UN)
- Nuke someone
- Attack the UN
- Place marines fucking everywhere and on one turn attack everyone effectively going rogue, killing numerous people and fucking up the whole game
- Start a game when not every country is taken
- Once it is full, don't start the game. You will keep everyone sitting there for 15 minutes yelling "START!!!!" until they realise you are not there and they will all leave.
There have, however, been attempts to end this madness. People have used the stated trolling methods to ruin games make games more fun. Some brave individuals have created threads denouncing UN games.
Non-UN Games
Believe it or not there actually exists maps/scenarios that aren't UN. These include:
- World Map by FuckifIknow - The original map of autism. Who would have thought that the admins could make worse borders than the cartographers.
- Ancient World by Avatar - Literally the shittiest a map can get. Prepare to be disappointed.
- EC's Ancient World by Talos and Basileus Utah II - A less derpish version of Ancient World with Africa income all over the place.
- Europe atWar by ThomasMer - A massive map of Europe + the unique experience of playing as a color blind moron.
- Battle for Middle Earth by Talos - Ew, fantasy.
- A Song of Ice and Fire by Pulse - Wtf is this shit?
- Battle for Middle Earth II by Talos - This fantasy shit just won't die. I want my Nazis and Spartans.
- Medieval Europe 1150 by Primal - The blurriest shit I have ever seen. Wear your glasses.
- Ultimate WWII Map by Tik-Tok - Is this even a playable map? You think this is a motherfucking game?
- Epic Ancient World by Avatar - Avatar? Wat r u doin'? Avatar? Stahp.
- Age of Empires by Perrydepwner - And then there's this asshole.
- King of the Hill by Tunder3 - The definition of autism.
- 13th Century by Basileus Utah II - If you are the kind of guy that likes to shave his ass off while playing with a 15 page toy store catalog, this is the place for you!
- Greek World by Talos - Another Shitty Default world map copy.
- 7 Years War by Bellerophon- Another shitty hobo map made by some dildo eater fag.
- Ultimate WWII by Tik-Tok - Oh making real maps now ol' chap. Anyway this has Nazis so do not play.
- God, Gold and Glory by Tunder3 - This is literal cancer in a neatly packed box of shame.
- World War I by Meester - This is a cheap and lazy copy of ultimate ww2, but this does not contain Nazis therefore it is boring and should not be played.
- A Game of Thrones by Pulse - Weren't we done with this fantasy bullshit. I ain't playing your Peter Pan shit.
- 18th Century by Basileus Utah II - cheap ripoffs made by 12 year old in a chinese shithole
- Cossacks Total War by Jihad - Oh this is cute, didn't know 5 year old babies are capable of drawing europe with crayons!.
- Ultimate WW1 by Tik-Tok - Another shitty World War with no Nazis? Have these idiots ever read a history book?
- Great Turkish War by Lingdao - Fucking kebabs.
- Lunatis Aristocracy by Safari - Safari's fanfic porn that no one cares about.
- UN Game by Satan - Terminal Cancer.
- True World War II by Che - People still play this?
- 19th Century by Basileus Utah II - This map is literally 18th Century 1.5 with a greater level of autism and eye cancer, is well know that the creator of this scenario was shaving his ass with gardevoir's dick in order to finish this map.
For more shitty maps and scenarios check the trash bin of your local McDonald's. If it looks like shit it probably is.
Premium
Some people actually pay for upgrades in this game. These upgrades include and are extremely limited to:
- Create private and team games (e.x. WWII)
- Create custom maps and scenarios (They all suck shit)
- Unlock FIVE EXCLUSIVE STRATEGIES (Including Iron Fist, Great Combinator, Lucky Bastard, Hybrid Warfare and Desert Storm)
- SP DISCOUNTS
- Create coalitions
- Custom player avatars
- FORUM SIGNATURES!!!!!!!!!
- NO ADS!!!
Why people buy this shit I don't even know.
Gameplay
Gameplay in AtWar consists of allying everyone, growing your empire and then shitspamming one person with your friends. These players are very skillful and have mastered the art of AtWar. There are some players who choose not to ally anyone and fucking flatten everything until some skilled allyfaggot shitstorms him with tanks because he hasn't actually done anything with them the entire game.
How to troll games:
- Ally everyone except one person
- Play as an alt and kill all the self-centred fucks
- Rogue UN
- Rush someones cap
- Pick right next to someone
- First turn wallfuck
- Tell people to leave to join a superior UN game
- Shout on global that there is a WWII up and all the people leave their games and it doesn't actually exist
- Call someone a fat idiot and talk about all your girlfriends
- Link someone to this[1]
- Or spinning jiggledick
- Or the old Hello.jpg
- Go up to any Turk and say you support Kurdistan
- Leave on first turn. Bonus points in scenarios.
- Betray someone
- Latejoin
Church of Zizou
The story of Zizou's great journey through faggothood, as told by Froot. "from the depths(debts) of italy rose zizou, a smart child at one month old. Some say he latejoined out of his mother, got extra reinforcements in his brain and zerg rushed life itself. At the age of 2 he learned to crawl, this was his favorite strategy until the age of 5 when he learned to play video games. Video games wasn't as popular a strategy as it is now, but many people were loyal to it. When he got older he purchased his first computer with all the sp he saved up - this was to be the computer where history was made. He got right on and began looking for games - He found one, it was by the name of diplomacy that was played on a forum. He was master of this game, many people quit playing. He would join late and get all the victories; this gave him many SP in which he could purchase upgrades. On the first day of AW amok and ivan sat looking at their glorious creation, not knowing of the sheer power that it was destine for. Zizou with his triple screen computer(to latejoin 3 times) he bought with his SP created his account, not having the alias of zizou yet he thought of a name. The most glorious name was thought of, zizou. He was so happy to have gotten such a great name he jumped right into the game - He saw many other new players and amok and ivan as they taught the new players to play. Zizou knew best and was the strategy game master; He needed no tutorial! Zizou waited for these training games to start, and joined week 9 right next to their capital.
Zizou was known as the cyprus crusader. He lead the land for as long as he could..but the community rose up; they chose a false prophet by the name of ironail! Zizou saw this...he was angered "the damned fools" proclaimed zizou as he smashed his dinner his mother had just brought down to the basement. He cried out for his mother to bring more and called her an idiot, she cried as well from upstairs. Ironail was the best, he had started a new trend of 5k eurasia! Zizou was even more angered by this as it hard to latejoin..how could you afford the bombers?!?! Zizou continued waring ironail for first, there was seemingly no end to this war. Zizou challenged ironail to a duel, he was forced to accept due to his pride and honor. Zizou acted like he disconnected, left the game and reconnected. It was turn 9; ironail being the honorable person he is waited for him without making a move. Zizou abused this and sent hundreds of bombers at ironail, ironail spammed walls but it was too late ..zizou had defeated him. Zizou was once more number one - a time of peace had fallen on this land once more. Upon becoming first he gave unto AW two gifts; instant joining and bigger color ion. The community rejoiced, but felt so empty...ironail was the most honorable but zizou held the crown for number one. In light of the situation zizou gave them more gifts - Scenarios, an edit to his favorite strategy lucky bastard and a nerf to PD. The community began to like zizou, in fact they began to worship him. Grand vizier Fruit erected the church of zizou in the following weeks, and for this we owe him tons of rep. Thank you for reading our holy tale, may zizou bring you peace."
False Prophets
Soon after, other people started making their own rip-offs of the church. There was the Church of Ironail, the Church of a complete breakfast and the Religion of the Holy Prophet Ahmadinejad (Now Emir Timur). Zizou late joined these players until they were in the deep pits of hell (aka playing as Turkey). Zizou was triumphant.
AtWar Radio
Possibly the most autistic feature of all. AtWar radio just plays random songs that you obviously couldn't look up to listen to yourself. Nobody actually listens to AtWar radio and the idiots running it should stop wasting their time with it.
See Also
External Sites
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AtWar is part of a series on Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage. |
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AtWar is part of a series on Aspies. | [Sperg out] |