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Barcelona Death Van 2017
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This article has been cleaned up, and it was a trip to hell and back. Please, don't fuck it up. |
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STEP THE FUCK OFF! Barcelona Death Van 2017 looks like shit but it is NOT a {{crapstub}}. It is a work in progress! If you require assistance beefing up this article, then hit up the experts on our IRC.
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| Youness Abouyaaqoub & Friends | |
| Born | Ca. 1995 |
| Nationality | Sandnigger 
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| Highscore | 16 kills, 151 wounded |
| Top 50? | 13th |
| Style | Carmageddon, Hack'n'Slash, CO-OP mode |
| An Hero? | No (8 killed by police, 1 V& after being wounded) |
Barcelona Death Van 2017 was a motor-vehicle and knife exhibition that was held in Barcelona, Spain, on August 17th, 2017. The event was organized by a group of peaceful Muslims who were slightly inspired by the previous week's Roadkill Nights Powered by Dodge event in Charlottesville, Virginia.
It's basically the daily, normal thing in Europe.
- ISIS claims credit.
- Butthurt starts and UE leaves an entire pool of tears everywhere
- Officials say the attack has nothing to do with Islam.
- The government proposes laws to ban cars.
Gameplay
All Loadout
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1st bloods
1 day after the mudslimes bombed his house, they bombed an abandoned house again to make lulz. The terrorists, at around 5:00 p.m., went GTA, running over a large handful of liberal independentists in a zig zag, leaving 13 people crushed by wheels and a hundred injured. The driver, Moussa Oukabir, only 17 years old, who was manipulated by his friend, Younes Abouyaaqoub. While Moussa was fucked up, Youness hid in the scared crowd running like a faggot. Later, that number increased to 15, after 2 fags went to hell because they broke the police line with his car. Then, police said that the driver of the car, was a guy that got killed by Youness, the ringleader of the terrorist cell.
2nd kills
The day after the lulz, 5 remaining terrorists had stolen another car and began high scoring, GTA x Carmageddon style with it, killing a single frag and injuring 5 NPCs and a police officer who was there on suspicion for the attack the previous day. The police, who were there, shot down 4 of the 5 mudslimes, who had no escape. The last one, began stabbing people only injuring a faggot who was there as an NPC. A helicopter shot him down GTA style after locating him. The dead mudslimes; Moussa Oukabir, Said Aallaa, Mohamed Hychami, Houssaine Abouyaaqoub, Omar Hycham, had put on a fake bomb belt to troll the pro-independence agents.
End of the Lulz
The ringleader of the cell, Youness, hid near a gas station where the gangs bought cheap drugs and waited there. 3 days after hiding there, a woman located him and called the police. Youness was confronted in an area of vineyards and sclerophyllous trees, where he pretended to activate his fake bomb belt made of cardboard from the Chinese bazaar near him. The agents shot him several times in the chest, surprisingly killing him instantly.
Venue
La Rambla, in the heart of Barcelona, is a mile-long tree-lined avenue that stinks of blocked drains, like everywhere else in the city. The street is full of pickpockets, whores, and junkies, and is renowned as being the biggest crime hotspot in the whole of Spain. 2017's carnage was therefore only to be expected. Criminologists suggest that the Spanish police's slowness to apprehend the driver of the death van was a result of them hoping he would come back and do it again, to wipe out some more of the usual suspects who have reserved bunks at the local jail. Many locals shared this optimism since it could have curtailed the epidemic of "living statue" mimes stationed along the Rambla, which has now reached such proportions that there is approximately one mime per tourist.
Graded Score
| Kill count: | 16/20 ' |
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| Accuracy: | 1/20 Ramming attacks are better with trucks. Also left a huge amount of garbage wounded |
| Style: | 15/20 Nice Truck Attack:The Sequel |
| Butthurt: | 13/20 All EU was shcocked and western EU was absolutly fagged |
| Bonus: | 15/20 Killing independentists is the best way to get into the high scores |
Wanted Level:
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Roadkill Nights Powered by Jihad
See Also
- Alek Minassian - a virgin version of Barcelona but he doesn't have knife to stab.
- James Alex Fields
- Exploding Van
- Guido
- Mudslime
- Spain
- Morocco
- Nice Truck Attack 2016
- Stockholm Truck Attack 2017
- GTA - What the terrorist played hour or days before the attack
