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Anders Behring Breivik

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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HOLY SHIT Sir Anders is sane and will be out in twenty, U MAD Cultural Marxists?!!!1


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Anders Behring Breivik
Born February 13, 1979 (45 years old)
Nationality Björk Björk Norway
Highscore Killed 93, now revised to 77 :(

Injured 96, 151 319 :)

Style FPS, Single Player / Bomberman
An Hero No (Surrendered)
Title Justiciar Knight Commander of the Knights Templar
Rank 1stst

The Justiciar Knight Sir Fjotolf Hansen is a Norwegian social commentator, raging Christfag, Zionist IRL troll and a pretty cool guy who became a national hero on 22 July 2011 by getting a new high score and slaughtering a bunch of degenerate communist faggots engaged in an orgy on a small island. Being a kike-loving knight who killed nothing but Aryan Cultural Marxists (named Mohammed), Sir Fjotolf is widely believed to have initiated the first double-reverse lollercaust. Perhaps the leading irony of his crusade against socialism is that the 'punishment' for his crimes will be no more than spending the next twenty years in a state-paid hotel, thanks to Norway's socialist laws and leftard soft-on-crime attitude. Ultra-mega-hyper trolling achieved.

Some media outlets are claiming a total tally of 8 for the bomberman mode and 68 for the FPS camper survival mode, thus putting Sir Fjotolf ahead of Cho's all-time high score and attaining a L-L-L-Ludicrous kill, together with returning the pride to Europe after years of American supremacy.

While he didn't pussy out and an hero, he did pussy out by surrendering instead of building a MacGuyver style helicopter and airlifting out. Hell, it took the police two hours to show up and MacGuyver's only an hour-long show. Current theory suggests getting caught was part of his plan so that we may all know his name and properly credit him with the new largest number of IRL frags.

In the trial, he also stated that Wikipedia was his greatest inspiration to do what he did, which shows that Wikipedia is for once useful for something. During the summer of 2017, Anders had his legal name changed to Fjotolf Hansen in order to capture several Muslim predators trying to molest underage Aryan girls.

Always do what the police says.
The reaction of the internet.

Humble beginnings

Justicar Andersnordic, his character in WoW

Our story here begins on a wintery February afternoon when the then Anders was shat out of his mother's disease-ridden vagina. Being the radical feminist that she was, she despised him before he was even born, hit him to put him back in his place and took pleasure in whining to social services about him being an unbearable little shit. Eventually, he got handed over to foster parents but only for weekends. Anders' mother wanted him to grow up to be a model Norwegian citizen and so she requested for him to give his foster dad handjobs. This was thankfully rejected. The neighbours became increasingly concerned about the feminist escapades going on next to them and so they pressured them to go to some family psychologist thing. It was here they learnt that not only was his mother lying about him but that her literal presence around him was so toxic it would fuck him up for life if he was kept in her "care". Single mother parenting at its finest. The authorities did what they do best and quickly forgot about this.

Fast forward a few years later and just like the rest of us on here, Anders is going through an edgy phase. However, this is totally unlike what we'd expect of him given what fate would await him. Instead, he got absorbed into nigger culture and graffiti in his early youth while earning himself mudslime friends (yes, really). This is where he first got into trouble with the pigs as he was caught in the act of tagging so his punishment was to scrub buses. Quite a far cry from exterminating 77 Marxists. Luckily for us, he grew out of this phase but not least at the expense of rejection by his former Muslim gang. And from there on shit went down as far as his political stance went.

In the years prior to his blaze of glory, Fjotolf tried repeatedly to become a successful businesswoman. After running several shady companies into the ground, he instead decided to move into his mother's basement, where he would spend his days playing World of Warcraft and Call of Duty, while planning his bloody revenge on the filthy Muslims and Communists who were clearly to blame for his utter lack of success. On WoW, he was one of the top players in Europe and directed guilds that achieved the first raid kills on respective servers. The stunning reveal of his characters caused his guildmates to go into shock knowing that their comrade was the deadliest mass shooter in modern history. For his astonishing PvP skills, Fjotolf was rewarded the title "Justicar Andersnordic", not only in WoW but in Real Life!

But unlike other reclusive, smelly weirdos with failed dreams of greatness, Mr. Breivik could indeed both talk the talk and walk the walk, and after 8 years of planning and scheming, he was finally ready to immortalize himself.

An sign of things to come?

Anonymous post found on deeply racist site "Niggermania" (tale #175). The Norwegian writer describes himself as a 19-year-old student and his post dates from approximately 1998-1999. Brevik was born in 1979 and attended Oslo Commerce School between 1995 and 98. The anonymous Norwegian says: "My homeland is turning into a sewer. [...] among people born in Oslo after 1993, there is over 60 % immigrants. This is caused by the fact that our white birth rate is decreasing, while the opposite happens to the spawn rate of the immigrants."

The author then recounts the following incident:

   
“ 		 
Seven weeks ago, my sister was at a party with some of her friends. After a while, several negro beasts entered the location where the party was held. They started to make obscene gestures towards most of the white girls at the party, including my sister. Eventually, my sister made some racist comments to one of them. This resulted in her getting slapped by the negro. She called me, and told me about the actions of this animal.

I got furious, and got out my medieval armour which I use when I play role playing games.
 

„
  		 

   
“ 		 
I grabbed my full size mace and entered my car. Then I drove to the house where the party was. The first thing I heard was the primitive jungle beats from the negro music [...] Kofi was looking at me whit his primitive look, and pulled out a small knife from his jacket. I was not afraid, as I wore my medieval, honourable armour. I attacked him with all my might, and the mace hit him in the head. It was a very strange feeling, it was like if my ancestors swung my weapon for me. [...] Then I drove home.
  		„
  		 

   
“ 		 
After about 15 minutes, the police was at my door. Now I have to pay 7000 kroner, about 700$ , to this filthy negro. I also have to do community service in three months. This is likely to affect my grades. I get very good results on my tests, and I plan to educate myself so that I may get high positions in society. This way I will be able to do something to stop the race mixing in my country.
  		„
  		 

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If this wasn't Sir Fjotolf, it's a fucking good impersonation. (Archived: 1 2)

The plan of attack: How do I shot 69 campers?

In a nutshell.
The Norwegian taxpayer also bought him a nice suit, as is custom when you beat a high-score.
Class Setup
Item Accessories/Bonus
  • Primary: Ruger Mini-14
  • + Holographic sight 65-80 Damage
  • Secondary: Glock 34
  • + Extended mags 15~29 Damage
  • Equipment: Fertilizer Bomb
  • 1000 Damage
  • Perk 1: Ghost Pro
  • Police uniform IRL.
  • Perk 2: Stopping Power
  • Because he used hollow point bullets IRL, lol n00b.

Sir Fjotolf initiated his quest for the high score by detonating a fertilizer bomb in downtown Oslo. He then dressed up as a policeman and went behind enemy lines like a spy. Pretending to secure the area following the initial explosion, he escaped the blast zone and made his way to Utopya Island where the Viking commies hold their annual bacchanalia. Smiling genially, he invited his victims to gather round (they believed he was a policeman coming to save them) before unloading on them with his Ruger Mini-14 rifle and Glock 17 pistol.

His battle plan (3 years in the making!) was masterful, demonstrating the strategic acumen and tactical know-how of a latter-day Napoleon. He selected a remote island battlefield which both delayed reinforcements and prevented the retreat of the enemy socialists who were asking for it. He then created a diversion, donned camouflage, and finally, with surprise on his side, he struck.

The attack was an all-out success. With help arriving in a timely fashion (90 minutes later), Sir Fjotolf could take his sweet time, search every tent, climb every hill, snipe every swimmer, chase the enemy looney tunes-style up and down every path, and double-tap anyone lying on the ground to be extra sure - which came in handy since a lot of them pretended to be dead. The 600 category A and B traitors on the island were completely helpless before our hero's shattering onslaught.

Graded Score

Graded Score
Kill count: 77/20 (57 Extra kills) 319 injuries total
Accuracy: 17/20 Far less injuries from a shooting than expected, can't say the same for the bomb
Style: 30/20 Bomb at the office as a diversion, disguise to sneak into the island and drown everyone or shoot them dead.
Butthurt: 30/20 Tears from leftist faggots around the world, moar attacks carried out in his name.
Bonus: 40/20 Reduced Prison Sentence, Will get out within 21 years.
Total Score: 194/100 (S)
The only good commie is a dead commie!
See full ranking


Police action

Wanted Level:

National Guard

  • Special forces arrive at the Oslo explosion site.
  • Campers call the police and all they get is a 'shut the fuck up and clear the lines'.
  • After at least 100 calls the local police realize something's up, but wait 8 minutes to finish their coffee and donuts.
  • Special forces are dispatched to the island. They choose to drive.
  • Smokey the Bear abandons the campers.
  • 30 minutes later they arrive at the lakeshore.
  • They jump into the toy boat that had been prepared for them in advance, which shuts down halfway across the water.
  • An hour and a half after the first shots were fired they get to the island and find Fjotolf bored and waiting for them.

Sø Cåsh!

Hey Faggots,

My name is Fjotolf, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are multicultural Muslim socialists who spend every second of your day defiling the European master race. You are everything bad in Europe. Honestly, have any of you ever killed any category A traitors? I mean, I guess it’s fun mixing with Muslims because of your own insecurities, but you all take this to a whole new level. This is even worse than not being blond.

Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I am a bodybuilder, a Justiciar Knight, and a 5th level Freemason. What revolutionary action did you take, other than “posting on an imageboard”? I also have a full epic resto druid and a filthy Muslim socialist (I've just killed her; Shit was SO cash). You are all category Z multicultural candy-asses who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It’s me and my socialist victim.

His manifesto: - 2083: A European Declaration of Independence

Read it here!


Previous Video | Next Video


Selected quotes:

   
“ 		 
I have reserved 2000 Euro from my operations budget which I intend to spend on a high quality model escort girl 1 week prior to execution of the mission.
  		„
  		 

—Anders doing what any celibate Justiciar Knight would do...

   
“ 		 
Everyone who criticises Islamisation or multiculturalism and supports Israel are labelled as racists, fascists and Nazis anyway. Europeans are getting increasingly immune against the multiculturalist labelling techniques. More and more people understand that Islam is not a race, but a hateful political ideology.
  		„
  		 

—Sieg Heil to that- Its funny because Nazis like Islam.

   
“ 		 
Any category A, B or C traitor is an individual who has deliberately used his or her influence in a way which makes him or her indirectly or directly guilty of the charges specified in this document: 1-8. Many of these individuals will attempt to claim ”ignorance” of the crimes they are accused of. This strategy might work for them until the day when they are visited by a Justiciar Knight – their judge, jury and executioner.
  		„
  		 

—Whatchoo gonna do when they come for you?

   
“ 		 
I had the privilege of meeting one of the greatest living war heroes of Europe at the time, a Serbian crusader and war hero who had killed many Muslims in battle. Due to EU persecution for alleged crimes against Muslims he was living at one point in Liberia. I visited him in Monrovia once, just before the founding session in London, 2002.
  		„
  		 

—He's got a partner in crime, his shit is equally dope.

   
“ 		 
Being a potato farmer might be unattractive now but is likely to be extremely useful in the future...
  		„
  		 

—You said it.

   
“ 		 
If you are unwilling or incapable of killing women due to the principles of chivalry you should probably steer away completely from the armed resistance movements and should probably consider creating yet another right wing blog instead.
  		„
  		 

—Sir Fjotolf, separating the men from the boys

   
“ 		 
Being a Justiciar Knight will involve killing our targets indiscriminately. You will face women in battle and they will not hesitate to kill you. If you hesitate as much as a second due to the fact that your opponent is female you will fail. You must therefore embrace and familiarise yourself with the concept of killing women, even very attractive women.
  		„
  		 

—Sir Fjotolf, smacking the bitch up.

   
“ 		 
At 2 AM on the New York subway not long ago, I saw another scene—more dispiriting than my KFC encounter with the rowdy rapping teens—that captures the essence of rap’s destructiveness. A young black man entered the car and began to rap loudly—profanely, arrogantly—with the usual wild gestures. This went on for five irritating minutes. When no one paid attention, he moved on to another car, all the while spouting his doggerel. This was what this young black man presented as his message to the world—his oratory, if you will.
  		„
  		 

—A "NO NIGGERS" policy might be in order

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He plagiarized parts of it from the Unabomber.

The Spa years

Breivik's plan includes a two decade seclusion into a luxury resort on an island among the fjords. There he'll be able to practice potato agriculture, maybe write the second part to his manifesto and fight Cultural Marxism in the library while sipping a Cappuccino courtesy of every grateful Norwegian taxpayer.

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URGENT UPDATE: Fjotolf Hansen is currently being subjected to psychological torture by being denied basic staples like hand moisturizer and has described the facility he's held in as a "Four Star Hellhole". To protest, write a letter to Halden Kriminalomsorg and tell them that unless they start respecting Breivik's constitutional rights, you will go batshit at the next Labour Party convention. If you are a man of conviction, skip that and just go batshit at the next Labour Party convention.

URGENT UPDATE #2: Being the champion of unconditional shamelessness that he is, Breivik brought the state of Norway to court over human rights breaches, such as putting him in a fully customized three-room cell complete with the newest entertainment systems, training equipment, communication with the outside world through letters, and a dozen staff directly employed because of his imprisonment, and even free education at Oslo University. He also claims that his rights are breached because he's not allowed to meet and mingle with the other prison mates, (one of which said he will kill Fjotolf if he ever gets the chance) and much more. The court was set on the 15th of March 2016 and will last several weeks and add another 50 -or so million Norwegian oil dollars to the taxpayer's bill. He entered the trials in his typical style making half of Norway super butthurt by doing the old but never out of season nazi salute. He is expected to deliver more lulz as the trials move on.

20 April 2016: Sir Fjotolf wins human rights case against Norway, proving that he is being treated with undue harshness. Lulz delivered as promised because Sir Fjotolf's costs of around $35,000 were awarded against the Norwegian government. A few days later, understandably pissed, Norway said 'No Way!' and appealed the judgment, which Sir Fjotolf's lawyers will be doubly incentivized to fight against because if the Government wins then they won't be getting paid.

Dox

You and me both, baby!

Name: Sir Fjotolf Hansen
Address: Hoffsveien 18
Zip: 0275
City: Oslo
Country: Norway
Phones: +47 900 87 334 / +47 22 44 78 53

Scratch the above.

It is unconstitutional for the vikings to keep their inmates incommunicado. Send the knight your thanks to Halden Prison, Norway

Main Address: KRIMINALOMSORGEN HALDEN FENGSEL POSTBOKS 694 4305 SANDNES

Office Address: KRIMINALOMSORGEN HALDEN FENGSEL Justisveien 10 1789 BERG I ØSTFOLD

Address to contact inmates like Sir Fjotolf, the justiciar: KRIMINALOMSORGEN HALDEN FENGSEL Pb. 1094 1787 BERG I ØSTFOLD

Telefon: +47 69 21 46 00

Besøkstelefon: +47 69 21 46 51

E-post: [email protected]

(be sure to specify it is against their inmate's human rights not to allow them communication with the outside world.) Indeed it is. Fjotolf hasn't been held incommunicado at least since the trial ended. Feel free to send a letter of admiration and/or your slightly used underpants (white girls only).

Fjotolf goes to University

Breivik has managed to get himself enrolled into Oslo University to learn some Political science bullshit, being the academic that he is. The true lulz is learning that some of the students that will also attend, had friends/family killed at the attack. He will have to learn "democracy, human rights and the protection of minorities", going against everything that he has sacrificed 21+ years for.

5 Years

5 years after his attack, an Iranian-German kid decided to go for the high score and pwn'd 9 NPCs, in the Munich Massacre. That little faggot was directly inspired by him.

Tie-in Media


Hear the soundtrack...

Hear the soundtrack...

... see the movie!

Previous Video | Next Video


The music accompanying the propaganda video which Breivik uploaded to video sharing sites including YouTube at the same time that he published his manifesto, comes from the Age of Conan: Hyborian Adventures soundtrack. Breivik writes of Bøksle's voice that it is the perfect sound to listen to when one commits acts of martyrdom. During his trial, he also testified that he uses this music, particularly the song "Ere the World Crumbles" when he meditates, as he did in preparation for his attacks. The movie, on the other hand, is terrible.

2018 Movie

In early 2018, the world renowned movie company Nordisk Film released the movie Utøya: July 22, in an attempt to further garner sympathy for the liberal scum that was rightfully purged from God's Green Earth by Hansen, the just. The movie made a pitiful $3.6 million in the box office, mainly from Germany because Germans have a guilt complex about something bad that supposedly happened in their history, as well as the fact that in Germany you go to prison for pirating movies.


... see the movie!

Previous Video | Next Video



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=


Gallery


  • Breivik fights for the Occident
    Breivik fights for the Occident
  • Now available for PlayStation!
    Now available for PlayStation!
  • After two hours of lulz, the REAL party van arrives.
    After two hours of lulz, the REAL party van arrives.
  • Now on discount!
    Now on discount!
  • Jellyous much?
    Jellyous much?
  • I SMITE THEE IN THE NAME OF GOD!
    I SMITE THEE IN THE NAME OF GOD!
  • I accidentally Breivik
    I accidentally Breivik
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


Victims of the massacre of Utoya
Victims of the massacre of Utoya


Misc. quotes


   
“ 		 
I’m trying to avoid relationships as it would only complicate my plans and it may jeopardize my operation. And I don’t feel comfortable manipulating girls any more into one night stands. I am not that person any more. I did screw two girls in Prague though.
  		„
  		 

—Philandy Andy

   
“ 		 
One person with a belief is equal to the force of 100,000 who have only interests
  		„
  		 

—His sole post on Twitter

   
“ 		 
I apologize to militant nationalists all over Europe for not being able to kill more traitors.
  		„
  		 

—A humble Sir Fjotolf accepts his sentence.

   
“ 		 
1999, me and two friends were about to order at Burger King when a Norwegian girl crossed the food queue. As she went by she pushed me, saying: "Move, you piece of shit." I was very surprised and I responded with: “Suck my dick, bitch”, while perplexed.
  		„
  		 

—Anders in his second court statement, putting bitches in their place. (Archived: 1 2)

Previous Quote | Next Quote


The irony of it all

The death of Amy Winehouse probably won't get any attention at all. This man has done us a favor. Sadly, she got way more hits and much more BAWWWWWing than Norway over her tragic death. On the bright side, she's dead now.

Commemoration ceremony disrupted by infamous blogger

Erik with his poster

A commemoration ceremony in Liverpool was disrupted[1] by the infamous blogger Erik Ribsskog. Erik (41) is reported to have shouted several times, "followed by mafia, don't get rights." He also held up a poster with the text "Followed by mafia. Don't get rights. Protest."

See also

External links

The last words 76 people heard

Personal accounts

Other shit



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JEWS DID 7-22

Moar info: Jews Did WTC.


Do the math yourself: 9 - 2 = 7, 11 * 2 = 22. 9/11 times 2 = 7/22.

Use scrollbar to see the full image

Crafty jews are at it again



   
“ 		 
Many argue that Mr. Breivik was in fact executing orders from Mossad, to punish the Palestine-loving Marxist-governed Norway, but first and foremost to create a false banner for misinformed right-wing extremists to unite under, and that what he was doing was a "false flag" operation.
  		„
  		 

—Varg Vikernes

   
“ 		 
So now not only Christians kill Muslims, and vice versa. Right-wing extremists are supposed to kill left-wing extremists too – and vice versa I assume? Is that the plan? You did this to recruit and make even the right-wing extremists fight for the Jews? "benefits from this? Israel does! The Jews do! None of our aggression will be directed at them – where it all should be directed. We will be fighting each other instead, while they move about in the background, out of the spotlight, profit from our suffering, and in secret tighten the chains of slavery around our waists and ankles.
  		„
  		 

—Varg Vikernes

   
“ 		 
He is a Freemason too, and that certainly doesn't make any sense whatsoever. Freemasonry is international Jewry at it's worst; they too are working for a de-construction of all nations on Earth, and to build a global Hebrew temple, enslaving us all under the will of the Jews and their servants, the Freemasons.
  		„
  		 

—Varg Vikernes

   
“ 		 
What Mr. Breivik has said is largely true, in all except in what he doesn't say; he doesn't tell us that the Jews are the origin to all these problems, and that they were created by the Jews to hurt us. All we have to do to make this act of violence favorable to us is to make this clear to everyone; the Jews created Marxism, feminism, Christianity (need I tell you that Jesus and not least Paulus/Saul were both Jews?), so-called psychology, banking ("money lending"), the hippie-movement and all other ideologies and movements which are aimed to destroy and de-construct all nations in Europe. Behind each and every one of them you will find a Jew (or some times a Freemason)!
  		„
  		 

—Varg Vikernes

   
“ 		 
His manifest is vast, some 1500 pages, and he is pretty thorough in both what he says and what he did. There are a few facts that doesn't make sense to me. How can he list all the problems caused by different Jews in our history and yet fail to mention even one of them with a single word in his manifest? He attacks the symptoms of the disease Europe is suffering under, but not the cause of the disease.
  		„
  		 

—Nothing escapes Varg

   
“ 		 
Red hair is common in non-European peoples too, in particular the Jews, because these peoples are extremely mongrelized (obviously for geographical reasons: the Jews lived where the species from three continents met) and thus suffer from so many of the effects of mixing, including red hair. I can add that Scandinavians, the most racially pure tribes in Europe, actually normally tan very well, and this is because they are so racially pure: their fair skin is very good at producing “Sunshine vitamins” even when exposed to very little Sunlight, so when exposed to much Sunlight the skin tans very quickly, because they don’t need the skin ‘to use the opportunity’ to produce that much Sunshine vitamins – instead the sensitive fair skin needs to protect itself from too much exposure to Sunlight. Red haired individuals try to do the same, but has so much red melanin that they fail to do so, and thus Sunburn instead and turn red.
  		„
  		 

—Varg Vikernes (this quote is completely unrelated to this article, but it goes to show you just how much of a lunatic this middle-aged Norwegian conspiracy theorist really is)

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