North Macedonia

Fyromia, aka FYROM or Vardar Macedonia, is a country that claims to be the true Macedonia, despite the fact the only real Macedonians are the Greek ones. The Fyromians are simply Slavic immigrants who stole Macedonia and started calling themselves "Macedonians". Today, Fyromians constantly argue with Greeks on where Macedonia is, and this conflict is what is preventing Fyromia from joining the European Union.

• Flags of Macedonia
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  The former Fyromian flag...
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  ...The true Macedonian flag...
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  ...The Fyromian flag after Fyromia pussied out.

What is Macedonia(n)?

Geographical Macedonia

The meaning of "Macedonia" has changed constantly over time, so no one agrees on where Macedonia is. Geographical Macedonia is divided into three regions:

• Vardar Macedonia (Fyromia)
• Pirin Macedonia (a part of Bulgaria)
• Aegean Macedonia (a part of Greece)

Fyromians claim to be Macedonians simply because they live in Vardar Macedonia. Greeks hate when Fyromian called themselves Macedonian since they're afraid of Fyromia annexing Aegean Macedonia and becoming real Macedonia.

Fyromians also claim to be the descendants of Alexander the Great, but this is bullshit. Alexander the Great was Aegean Macedonian, and the Fyromian ethic group didn't exist back then. If any Fyromian is a descendant of Alexander, then it's because Alexander raped some poor Slav girl that wondered too far away from mother Russia.

History

Fyromia haven't have any ancient history, since Alexander's Macedonia doesn't have any connection to false, Fyromian Macedonia. Fyromian history begun when the Bulgarians and Serbians invaded Byzantine lands, including Macedonia, and claims them as their own. After ousting the Turks from the Bulkans, Serbia, Bulgaria, and Greece disagreed on who owned Macedonia and went to war. Fyromia was conquered by the Serbs, and it became a part of Yugoslavia. Later, Joseph Tito turned Fyromia from a part of Serbia into constitute republic of Yugoslavia. Tito named this republic "Macedonia" in order to stir up drama in Greece.

After the breakup of Yugoslavia, Greece was pissed, since Fyromia was still calling itself Macedonia and it was using a knockoff of the Greek Macedonian flag, so Greece blocked all trade to Fyromia. Greece intimidated Fyromia into changing its flag, and the trade ban was lifted.

Albanian shitz

In 1999, rebellious Albanian after having lots of buttsex with the 'mericunts formed the National Liberation Army in order to give Albanians in Fyromia greater rights and bigger mosques. In 2001, these Albanians rose up and started attacking Fyromians. The hostilities ended with the UN saving their asses from Arachinovo and the Ohrid Agreement, but the Albanians basically succeeded in giving what they wanted. Albanian became one of Fyromia's official languages and making Albanians equals in the government. Although the matter is considered resolved, conflicts arise every now and then.

Fyromia and the Internet

Quoted from Wikipedia:

Well my Bulgarian FRIEND i really can't understand how you the son of SLAVS who came in Balkans in 7-th century our decade call yourselve ETNIC MACEDONIAN! The only etnic macedonians are the so-called VLACHS or Elino-Vlachs or macedo-romanians. In greece up to 2 milions and in Balkans up to 3 milions. So the FYROMIAN AND GREEK propaganda will soon disapear. Look at this Grammar Book and then ask your self where was your Slavo-macedonian name in 1813. Bye bye !

Quoted from Urban Dictionary:

My name is Goran and my mother tounge is Slavomacedonian, we are Slavomacedonians who are descended from the the Slavic invasions of Northern Greece in 700 AD, and we have nothing to do with the Hellenistic king of Phiilip and his son Alexander who were from the Greek kingdom of Macedonia, we came 1000 years after Alexander the great and his conquests which spread Greek culture throughout the known world.