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Graal
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This article can do without the addition of any freewebs.com or weebly.com sites (Exhibit A content) and useless trivia that nobody gives a shit about. |
Graal is a fucking retarded Zelda clone where 16 year olds and brazilian fatties go to flame the fuck out of each other while paused on a world that totally copyright bitchslaps Legend of Zelda: Link to the Past by stealing its tileset and recoloring it, even though the staff members say that it is a C++ re-creation of Link to the Past. No, seriously, Nintendo got Rage and threatened to lawyer the fuck out of Stefan back when the game was called Zelda Online.
Sometime around 2001, Stefan ( a 35 year old French fuck) and his faggot cohort Unixmad had the brilliant idea to start charging people a subscription fee for a new RP oriented server, which included a one-time fee for access to the Zelda Ripoff Classic servers. The income at first was slow, because most 15 year old kids will have a hard time trying to convince them to pay 20 bucks for a copy of Zelda when they already own it on Super Nintendo.
Around the same time, a bunch of crybabies got together and wadded their collective panties into a bunch and raged against the French machine. Except for Viper, who DDoS'ed the shit out of the game a few times and that Matriark dude who successfully grabbed the entire user database complete with passwords and other sensitive info. Most players got scared, hoping Mom and Dad wouldn't notice their checking balance in the red and packed up their balls for Runescape. And that's why quests are still fucking broken on N-Pulse.
FUKKEN HAX
Because numbers are fucking serious business, most people resort to hacks. Some players are subtle in their efforts to maintain a super hardcore eRep, others just like to make players shit bricks by spawning 200 trees in whatever level people are idle in. Seriously, everyone fucking uses a hack. Get one and use it. DO IT FAGGOT.
In recent years, the client has been more secure. At one point, it was possible to save a level, go into the editor, load a script, reconnect, and cause massive butthurt as your script would load for everyone in the level.
You can get new hacks @ graalhack.com
The Iphone Server
Sometime in December of 2009, GraalOnlineClassic was released on the appstore for the Iphone and Ipod Touch. It is probable the most popular server now because IT was free. Stefan, who needs money to run the frickin thing charges you for everything. Its basically a giant milk machine hooked up to over 9000 Fags, slowly draining away at their parent's money. Later GraalClassic+ came out on the app for two dollars. Nothing special to it just you get two packs, the customization, and the house pack. The house pack allows the player to create their own little home and decorate it with virtual furniture that they used their parents debit cards to buy. The Customization pack allows you acess to over 9000, png files of crap that are already stored on your Idevice. Thats right your paying for something you already have. Custom content brings me to the fact that the server is inhabitation by young soon to be fur fags. The worst part of this is that the fags on this server are spending more time in the game then in real life, The more hours you spend add up to special rooms such as the zone and fan where you can sit and waste more of your life to get in the more "special" rooms. So its a 100 hours for the zone, 500, the fan and 1000 for the Resort amd 2000 for the Room of super fags. This game is soon be a cause of some serious face cancer from the radiation that your IDevice" gives off. In order to buy the over fucking priced items you have to either spend fucking 10 hours blowing up patches of grass and getting these stupid little piece of shit crystal things called Gralats that pop out of the fucking grass or you can choose to buy one of the fucking Gralat packs witch cost real life money. There are many fucking thousand players and lots of them like to piss people off, there are also ones that are fun like Higbey, RaiRai, Skittles, Vinnie, Regret, LUKEEE and tons more. The biggest faggot in that whole entire game is P1E who sits around all day stealing other gralats who spent the last 10 hours getting them.
Other Guilds
Trying to mimic some Rpg game the server has a guild verse guild system, where fags can create their own guild (at the cost of 2000 gralats witch is equal to one dollar) and invite people to join their guild. To rename the dam thing you must pay 1000 gralats witch is equal to cost money as well. You have faggot armies fighting one another for control over a Flag tower. Yes you heard me, they send 24 hours guarding a a nonexistent flag fighting off other guilds all day long. The guild that leads the fort time in #1 place is called Venus Gospel (See: no life) This band of weeaboos, furries, emos, fags, and pedophiles is led by a huge bitch named Aster Feare (Moar liek In-The-Asstard Queer, amirite?). She thinks anyone outside of VG, also called accurately Penis Gospel, is a fag and will hack the living shit out of towers just to be number one. Also, any of the crews of ass pirates who get 1000 hours get a retarded hat.
Admins and Hackers
There is a alot of complaining about hackers on the server, (ironically half the players on the server are Jail-broken), And some of the fags who are Jail-broken go around saying their a hacker when they don't know shit. Finally when you hack the Iphone server your hacking a Kids Game that nobody gives a shit about.
On this server Admins are gods to all the players who want to become one. This is followed by people who pretend to be admins They sit around all day chasing after hackers, glitcher and Blockers, and people who hate them.
Some admins though fail at being a mod, Like Slim the admin, a glicther who became admin only to be fired because he abused his powers and got pwned. Ironically he now goes around glicthing and hacking doing the stuff that he fought so hard before and after he was an admin. He also doesn't know how to change his IP.
I got off my computer and made my way onto my iphone. After purchasing and playing the highly expensive port for some time I realized something about the staff. Most staff was hired because of popularity.
Graal Era
Iphone server full of Wiggers. enough said.
Higbey the Demon
troll and anti-graal adminstrators, has no skill in glitching or hacking and basically whines and bitches and has riots, ends up starting uprisings on graals facebook and basically pisses off xor, unixmad, and all the xor brownosers.
he has a group of people trying to get xor fired and have probally contribted to xor getting his pay cut or docked quite a few times, actually believes he is a demon.
It has also been revealed to the world that Higbey has a pee fetish. He constantly asks girls if they have to pee and has apparently orgasmed in his chair at school (he's 14) because the teacher would not let her go to the bathroom. If you pretend you're a girl and casually talk about touching your crotch with the bathroom door locked out, you can see for yourself.
Graal "Emos"
There are many people on graal who are "emo" AKA they are retarded 10 - 12 year olds who pretend to want to die all the time or they pretend to hate everybody, they are so fucking stupid that they wear shields that say "Emo", they even go on google images and search emo then show everyone on graal they really look like these fucking emo people from google even tho they acually look like one of those kids that no one hangs with because he/she/shemale looks different.
ORIGINAL CONTENT DO NOT STEAL
Some people just aren't content with swinging swords and throwing fireballs and bombs at other players in an attempt to make them smash their F key. Between color editing gokuhead922.png and making unique event scripts, some players actually create themed servers. Too bad all of them are essentially the same fucking thing with a few fancy-pants weapons and EVENTS! Most of which are essentially variations on "kill other people."
- Era, a gang-themed server with guns and explosions. Because Zelda was a classic in every black person collection.
- N-Pulse. Hahahahaha nobody goes there anymore.
- Unholy Nation, N-Pulse's retarded yet popular cousin.
- Valikorlia. I roll 2d12 to hit you fo- UNPAUSE YOU FUCKING NOOB OMG
How to troll players
Use your NPCWS. Never use your sword. If someone demands a spar, hit them with a Cyclone Spin. If you kill someone, hide in water when they come back. Heal too. Use Ctrl+F and pause a lot during a fight. Ask them if they even know who the Gravediggaz are. Call them a noob in Mass PM. Drop money on a paused player. Cyber a GP then post the logs.
Essentially, dangle your cock in the air and some gullible faggot will bite. Bonus points if he rages first in Mass PM or toall.
Yell about gmap and udid faker,
Say your "Captainhaxs" to an admin
Say world of warcraft is better,
Links
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Graal is part of a series on MMORPGs. | [Ding!] |
http://forums.toucharcade.com/showthread.php?t=37198&page=1474 m (Worst thread ever)
