Mabinogi
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THIS GAME HAS LOTS OF PORN |
Mabinogi is a shitty Korean MMORPG by the same guys who did MapleStory. Mabinogi is popular with 12 to 16 year olds who have no money and cannot play World of Warcraft. It is also popular with the weeaboo community largely due to its strong anime themes. (Note that if this sounds at all familiar, it should.)
Gameplay
The game plays a lot like Ragnarok Online, which plays a lot like Diablo, which plays a lot like a number of old SSI computer games. Move the mouse, click the enemy, kick its ass, and repeat until you die of old age or kill yourself.
You can go fishing to raise your dexterity, but it takes about 9,000 years before you can go up a rank in it. The game revolves around training your skills, then spending AP to raise them. The more you do it, the harder and harder (Read: More money you spend) it gets to actually raise it, and it will cost moar AP.
With a name like Fantasy Life going for it, you can bet that people do treat it like it is their only life. You can make an ugly female character and buy a maid outfit and learn how to cook and pretend you are an actual anime woman! You can buy an explorers outfit and grind exploration levels (Which reset every time you rebirth, meaning you have to keep doing boring quests over and over again)
It's full of incredible amounts of busy-work that you just don't want to do. If you're not leveling, you're probably grinding for materials that go for absurd amounts on the in-game market. NPCs don't give you squat if you sell anything to them, so don't bother. But the assholes will turn around and overprice certain items regardless. If not that, you're probably trying to gain proficiency on your weapon. You don't just go to a blacksmith and tell someone to upgrade your weapon, it doesn't work like that. You have to beat up enemies with it and get points on the weapon, THEN you can upgrade it. It costs tons of gold and tons of points just to get one upgrade too, and if you don't do it you will insta-fail.
Not only that, you have to worry about the repairing of these said weapons. If you want to try and keep your weapons in tip top shape, you have to shell out so much cash you'll probably end up buying some gold from Chinese Gold Farmers to make ends meet. All blacksmiths except one have a repair rate of 96% or lower. The one with 98% charges unbelievable rates for just one point of repair, the kind of rates that would make even Bill Gates think twice.
The monotony doesn't end there. Not only does it take a few years of dedicated game play and credit card swiping to get anywhere in this game, you also have to worry about a broken e-Conomy that overprices ugly clothes that were released on old events because the newfags think it's "retro". There are even dyes that have flashing properties, when applied to clothes they flash between colors and give epileptics one hell of a seizure and hurt the eyes of those healthy. People literally whore out for these in order to act cool among the other trash that plays this game. It's all about getting the prettiest clothes made for you
tl;dr, this game is boring.
F2P vs. P2P
The game can be played from start to finish over the course of forever, but only if you're willing to pay for it. While it's totally free to play, all the good stuff (such as good-looking hair, entire chains of quests, or items that let you spam the entire server with your wisdom) cost Nexon Cash, which in turn costs real money. Needless to say, the game is primarily dominated by spoiled rich kids with mommy's credit card in their pockets.
Races
At present time, there are only three races to choose from, One thing that sets the game apart from the endless number of other games just like it is the overbearing amount of customization you can give your character.
- Human - You, me, your mom. The game favors these adorable rascals over the other two for various reasons. As such, humans get the best of everything and can finish the entire game. Can equip two swords at once, but can't equip two of anything else for some reason. They run the slowest in the game though. Humans being the first race to be released in Grindinogi have some of the uberl33test and players with the huegest of epeens. Good luck trying to overpower them with your puny penis.
- Elf - Humans with pointy ears. Really good at hiding and shooting arrows. Generally frail and can't lift over 20 lbs. They can also fire two arrows and charge the fastest with Ranged Combat, making them perfect for trolling opposing players. Can also run very fast. All the humans and giants hope to god the elves wont get their sharp frail little fingers on a skill called Arrow Revolver which the Humans can use and is basically the only skill that allows them to troll better than the Elves. But everyone knows its going to happen eventually. Also can't choose to be black even though, evolutionary-wise, living in a fucking desert should make their people at least tan and not the pasty pale skin tones we're forced to choose from. This is not the same for Giants, who live in the icy tundra and should all technically be the white ones. Go figure.
- Giant - Huge people pumped up on steroids. Can rage, equip two of anything humans can equip except swords, and has the largest arsenal of the three races including but not limited to giant fucking sledgehammers and dead trees. Can't play dead or even throw rocks despite their immense strength. Can run faster than humans, but slower than Elves. They have a tendancy to rage when trolled too hard and will complain about everything imaginable, usually how their internet connection sucks, but its really just them that suck. Under 16 players tend to play as giants because they're cooler and taller than themselves and helps feed their epeen, the smarter folks go elf or human
Transformations
Humans have the chance to become Paladins or Dark Knights, while Elves can become Falcon Sages, and Giants can become Abominable Snow Men. Though your character looks like nothing more than a weak, feeble insect, when you transform they suddenly hit puberty and gain big stats for one in-game hour, which is only about five minutes IRL. You can only transform once every in-game day, and the duration of your transformation also increases by a few seconds each time you Rebirth (Which costs money, did I mention that?)
Paladin: The epitome of faggotry in this game, only losers play as paladins because they claim it offers just TWO bonus points of Protection stat, making them better than everyone else. These internet white knights often get into arguments with players who are Dark Knights, resulting in massive lulz-fests where ever they happen, each claiming they are better than the other when the simple fact in this game is that Arrow > Sword. Also Paladins have no inherent skill like the other transformations do, making them the most fail.
Dark Knight: The weakest transformation available to Human players. Upon Transformation for the first time you look like a teenage Sauron and you have the coolest attack animations with certain weapons. Unfortunately when your duration is up and it comes time to devolve back into your weak human state, you don't do it automatically. Instead, you start losing health until you die unless you manually return form. Only emos play as this because they think it makes them leet and is the only emotional crutch they have in this crappy game. They also have an ability that lets them take control of other monsters with their mind, allowing them to bring them into town and set them loose upon the noobs. The final transformation looks gay too.
Falcon Elf: Arguably the coolest looking transformation if you are playing a female and have the final transformation, but they only say that because it has AWESUM WINGZ N SHIT. Has the ability to cast Magic Missile and nuke their enemies with fireballs, thunder storms, and blizzards. Charges ranged attack EVEN FASTER allowing for maximum ownage.But it can't even fly even if it does have wings.
Savage Beast: The biggest thing in the game aside from the dragons. Has the most strength, but still cannot throw giant boulders at their enemies despite being able to knock down 10 FT TREES AND USE THEM AS WEAPONS Has the ability to charge up a wide swing attack and decimate enemies that are close to them, but it sucks and nobody cares about it. Perfect race for furries.
Classes
The game itself is very open-ended in that there's no pre-set classes. A player is free to choose whatever they want to be and use any equipment their race can equip. However, there are some amount of "builds" floating around out there for people who think they're doing it wrong.
- Master of Combat - Put all your Ability Points into "Combat Mastery" and become ub3rl33t! Nah, just kidding. Melee sucks balls in this game! Your best bet is to equip two of anything or a two-handed weapon and just knock the shit out anything that comes your way. "Windmill" and "Final Hit" probably wouldn't hurt, either.
- Arrow Revolver - Great for trolling leet PvPers. Pour all your Ability Points into "Arrow Revolver" and watch your opponents ragequit as you destroy them with endless arrow spam.
- Ice Wizard - The magic version of Gatling Shot build. Also great for trolling. Pour all your Ability Points into "Icebolt" and watch your opponents ragequit as you spam it.
- Fire Wizard - Most powerful build in the game. Pour all your Ability Points into "Fireball" and do a million points of damage to everyone around you in one hit.
- Master Alchemist - Summon a golem and spam "Flame Burst" and "HP Drain" while it distracts your opponent. Also, throw up some spiked barriers so no one can touch you.
- Bard - Master "Music Playing", "Composition", and "Musical Knowledge" and gain the ability to buff and heal your allies by playing Caramelldansen over and over again! No, seriously.
The Game Itself
When you first install this trainwreck, you're greeted with only one character card. It's premium, but noobs don't know that it's premium because the stars indicating premium-only confuse them into believing they don't deserve them yet. After entering the screen, you can start at Age 10 to Age 17 and be either a female or a male human. Smart people will start at Age 10 because you gain 5 AP(Ability Points) every time your character's birthday comes around. However, the AP spam doesn't last long because once you're Age 16, you only gain 2 AP per rebirth, and it becomes a painful wait until you become Age 20 for that free rebirthing card. Noobs are not advised in the slightest to rebirth at age 10, but with the new Noobie Updates, anyone under total level 100 can rebirth every day, so you good. Your character's birthday is one week after the first time you make them. Please note that since the map is huge and the distance between towns is unbelievably large, you'll be pretty tempted to buy a pet, the cheapest one being $10. "Oh, not that much," you say? How about it being the slowest fucking creature known to man as you see other players race right past you with their flaming horses.
You will first be in the soul stream, which plays both a big factor in this game's story, and also does not. One of the most amazing things in gaming history will be there to greet you after a few seconds. A girl with very big boobs, long hair, deep blue eyes, and a black one-piece Chinese dress. It should be noted she isn't wearing any underwear either. Her name is Nao. Srsly. When she floats down and lands, her breats jiggle as icing on the cake.
She gives you a book that tells you how to play the game, and she gives you some bread, showing that she can indeed cook and has a kitchen, but this is the only time that she ever makes you a sandwich. If you're a nice person, you can actually buy her clothes(From the Cash shop mind you) and find them in dungeons, and the next time you rebirth you can give them to her and she'll wear them. The only problem is, you'll only see these skimpy outfits on her if you have her come to revive you if you die somewhere, which costs IRL money to have that kind of service. She won't wear these anywhere else. You can also never talk to her when you want, and if a quest actually requires you to see her (And some do), you have to wait until you can rebirth.
Before one of the biggest patches, to rebirth you had to wait THREE WEEKS(Three character birthdays), which is also roughly a month, and purchase another character card. After you met these requirements, you could do it. You cannot be successful in this game unless you rebirth, it is impossible. You can only ever go so far when it comes to leveling, and eventually, your characters aging will stop giving you AP, and you can never train your skills until you do this. After this big patch, if you bought a premium card (Which costs about $10 USD) you can rebirth in just one week. You can rebirth for free if you wait three weeks, but you can't change anything about your character. This game is perfectly designed to be a gigantic money sink if you want to stay competitive against ever increasing difficulty. The best you can do without clawing your fucking eyes out is to reach level 50 every rebirth, after that it's plain stupid to try and level anymore.
GUESS WHAT LOL YOU CAN'T EVEN BEAT G1'S MAIN STORY UNLESS YOU ARE LIKE LEVEL 400 AND HAVE SOME HIGHLY RANKED SKILLS BEHIND YOU. That, or you can suck some dick and join some guilds to get the lazy fags who've been playing a lot longer than you to help you beat it so you can transform and be cool too.
It costs about $25 USD to buy all the premium service this game has available. Extra storage, creating a guild (while having no real gain from it) and getting a free item from Nao every birthday your character celebrates.
You don't have to just spend your money on this, however!! Nexon NA, being the expert Korean & Mexican scammers they are have implemented another feature to the in-game cash shop. You can buy in game items too! Though you can tell this is complete bullshit because the other versions don't have 2x EXP potions in their shops, and you can't get every single item in the game from their cash shops either!
So now that you know this game is simply intended to rip as much money from the American populace as possible, you should also know that even after two whole years of being in service, this game still lacks proper maintenance. Oh sure, Nexon can slap up about 16 hours of failed maintenance once in a while, but it doesn't do jack shit. Glitches and bugs still haunt this game from it's open beta. Not only that, with each introduction of new content, they manage to fuck everything else up all the time. Bad translations, horrible spelling and grammar, and broken quest chains. If you try to tell the fans of this game any of this, they'll just cover their ears and make noises to blot out the truth. Oh, and unlike other versions, every time you initiate a conversation with an NPC, the game locks up for two seconds before you actually get the chat window with them.
You have to admit though, devCat had a good trick up their sleeve with this busty girl Nao. They knew all of the potential fans for this game were lonely, virgin, unrepentant weeaboos who think Japan is the greatest thing ever. Too bad they usually forget this game came from KOREA. There isn't porn of just her, but people often draw their characters having sex with the in game monsters, or the Ego Weapon spirits.
Meet the Community
Everyone and anyone that bothers to play this game is likely an autistic fucktard or a halfwitted retard fucktard, if you ask a rich 12 year old jew, if you can try his super expensive clothes on. He will likely accept so you can just run off with his shiny shit and watch him fruitlessly attempt to get his stuff back via spamming nexon, all the while knowing they wont do shit for him. If someone says they have a girlfriend it is a trap, and should be reminded of their current situation. FurthermoreAll the girls are actually guys, if they prove their femeninity by showing a picture, it is ripped off from facebook.
Speaking of facebook, there are actually facebook groups for each of mabinogi's servers. Each of these groups are populated by the largest waste of human flesh and bones born in the last 20 years. Just like the aforementioned cesspool that is this game, masterbation and fudge packing are frequent hobbies and discussions on how best to shove penis into mouth are frequently asked questions. Circlejerking, attention whore are self explanatory.
Visit at your own risk.
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External Links
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Mabinogi is part of a series on MMORPGs. | [Ding!] |
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