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AtWar

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AtWar is an online rip-off of Risk where you very realistically start with a country like Uzbekistan or Canada and take over fucking everything. The game features such prominent players as Gardevoir, Zizou and HUEHUEHUEHUE. Other common names are Hitler and anything else to do with Nazis.

Community

 

As mentioned before, the AtWar community is made up of a bunch of faggots and at least 100 neo-Nazis. Among these are Jews, Serbs, Turks, and grown men, but despite this terrible mix within the community they all managed to come together for great justice to eliminate all the bronies through genocide. When the mods discovered this genocide, they sadly put an end to it. The small minority of people who are below the age of 35 are very cool and edgy because they are commies that can make their countries in UN games communist.

AtWar has a shitty playerbase, how it has kept itself together for so long itself is the 8th wonder of the world.

Notable People

 
Ezzatam
 
Zizou is good at the maths
  • Zizou - The god of AtWar (srsly). Zizou is some Italian fucktard who has his own church dedicated to him. It is estimated that he got at least 100% of his SP from latejoining and whatever he didn't get from that was from playing dead. Avoid at all costs.
  • TopHats - Highest ranked player and awarded with the least amount of life on AtWar. Canadian. TopHats has tons of alts of which are in practically every coalition because he is a master spy. He considers himself #1 in everything even though all he does is farm SP.
  • Mauzer Panteri - Fat, retarded, Serbian asshole who is ranked 4th best yet is actually a really shitty player. Confirmed basement dweller. Call him Turkish if you want to troll him.
  • Fruit - Citizen of the Czech Republic and massive troll.
  • Adolph Hitler - About half the people on this shitty game name themselves some variation of this.
  • Tunder3 - Troll, asshole known for spamming forums with hate. Great in-game troll.
  • Emir Timur - Jew and username hopper with a fetish for Timur the Lame.
  • Gardevoir - Emotionally unstable, big alt spammer and name hopper. The slayer of Vafika. He pretty much makes everyone in teh main lobby buttmad every second of their miserable lives and insists on Killing the trolls. He is also known for being a leader of sorts, but in the end always end's up Butthurt. He is the only Gardefag who doesn't want to fuck a gardevoir, he's just a lonely motherfucker with a fatal attraction to Gardevoirs. He was recently banned due to excessive master trolling and bringing butthurt to teh afturweendz. In July 2011 he changed his name to Ketzer, probably beause of the major butthurt that ensued after he lost the great shitstorm to the mighty Zizou. Apparently he is nao also a follower of the Church of Zizou, praise be Zizou. He apparently has worshipped KrautMod HeyI forever and zizou is trash to him, OH MAI BLACK JEZUSEZ :O.
  • Ezzatam - Autismus Maximus. He pretty much pisses off everyone on the forums who actually know how to draw maps because his MEGAmap series is shit yet he thinks it is the greatest idea and creation on earth. He is thought to be inspiring for some map makers, but realistically they all end up doing a better job than he did and never actually gave a shit about his maps.
  • Tik-Tok - Neo-Nazi douchebag that owns all of the WWII maps.
  • Cpt. Magic - Creator of the most autistic part of AtWar (See below)

Map making

 
Left side is "art" and right side is "autism". Realistically the left side is made by some OCD Aspie who is obsessed with map making. Right side is still autism.

Two types of people lurk in this area. There are the gay artists who spend 5 minutes on each pixel so it will look fabulous and the most autistic people in the game. People like to make maps in order to claim that they have made a masterpiece and thus can create OC despite hundreds WWII maps already being made. Some Jews make more than one.

UN Games

Besides the WWII maps, there are other types of maps called UN Games. In UN games, you sit for 5 hours doing nothing until someone puts a troop on your territory or attacks you, then you go batshit insane saying "OMG ROGUE!!!11!!111111111!" and calling the UN to help you before ragequitting when the UN does nothing, just like the real UN!. UN games were invented by Cpt. Magic as just an idea for a fun game. He sadly didn't realise the amount of AIDS, fail and retardation he was about to bring upon the poor people of AtWar. UN Games are very easy to troll, but beware, you might end up on somebodies enemy list and will not be allowed in their games! Then again, if you really care so much, just use an alt or a guest account.

   
 
ROGUE EEU
 

 
 

—Typical UN game

   
 
OMG UN DO SUMTHING UR A FUKING IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

 
 

—Yet another typical UN game

   
 
I DECLARE WAR ON NEU
 

 
 

—This is what is supposed to happen but the people playing, and the UNs, are too pussy to actually have this happen

   
 
OMG NUKES U R ROGUE
 

 
 

—Someone getting trolled

 
The UN in UN games

How to troll UN games:

There have, however, been attempts to end this madness. People have used the stated trolling methods to ruin games make games more fun. Some brave individuals have created threads denouncing UN games.

Premium

Some people actually pay for upgrades in this game. These upgrades include and are extremely limited to:

Why people buy this shit I don't even know.

Gameplay

 
The orange guy is shit out of luck
 
A typical AtWar alliance web

Gameplay in AtWar consists of allying everyone, growing your empire and then shitspamming one person with your friends. These players are very skillful and have mastered the art of AtWar. There are some players who choose not to ally anyone and fucking flatten everything until some skilled allyfaggot shitstorms him with tanks because he hasn't actually done anything with them the entire game.

How to troll games:

  • Ally everyone except one person
  • Play as an alt and kill all the self-centred fucks
  • Rogue UN
  • Rush someones cap
  • Pick right next to someone
  • First turn wallfuck
  • Tell people to leave to join a superior UN game
  • Shout on global that there is a WWII up and all the people leave their games and it doesn't actually exist
  • Call someone a fat idiot and talk about all your girlfriends
  • Link someone to this[1]
  • Or spinning jiggledick
  • Or the old Hello.jpg
  • Go up to any Turk and say you support Kurdistan
  • Leave on first turn. Bonus points in scenarios.
  • Betray someone
  • Latejoin

AtWar Radio

Possibly the most autistic feature of all. AtWar radio just plays random songs that you obviously couldn't look up to listen to yourself. Nobody actually listens to AtWar radio and the idiots running it should stop wasting their time with it.

See Also

External Sites


 

AtWar is part of a series on

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  AtWar is part of a series on Aspies. [Back to your happy placeSperg out]

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