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John Bulla
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Nobody has heard of this person, but whoever they are, vandalizing this article only makes us want to learn more... |
John Steven Bulla is a 59 year old retard diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic who believes he is the only ordained minister of God. He claims to have the "holy priesthood", which allows him to cure major diseases such as AIDS and cancer, wake beautiful women from the dead, and kill demons. John is also registered sex offender. However, all of the "beautiful women", "nasty demons", and people inquiring about his church are complete frauds; people toying with his schizophrenia, and for some reason he believes everything people say.
Background
John Bulla was discovered hosting a tinychat room around 2009, where he blasted unwarranted self-importance about his church The Church of Christ with the Elijah Message. He was easily deceived with videos of white whores. He soon moved on to Skyping with fat ugly whores that would flock to him. He often performed exorcisms of demons possessing ordinary people. During this time, he would often show off his junk on camera, but stopped later on due to an incident which involved a "demon" calling his mom, where she walked in on him during the act. Demons would also often hack into the computers of his girlfriends and distribute his nudes. Later that year his tinychat was hacked into and obscenities were written into the description, and he became overwhelmed by the number of demons pretending to be him. At this time, his mother forbid him from accessing the website and he began to refer to tinychat as "of the devil." However, despite his efforts to stay away from demons, he continuously uses Skype, which he believes to be created and run by demons. He also spends hours talking to demons on his cell phone.
- Hiatus from the internet
Late 2010-early 2011 harbored a major turn of events for John as he was strongly concerned about "Judgement Day." He believed that on this day, Jesus was going to come back and go to battle with the Devil. As more demons began to contact him, he felt as though the prediction was beginning and he had to fight side by side with Jesus, otherwise everyone on Earth will become demons (It has not been stated whether or not this has anything to do with his current ideology; all men are demons, all women should be his and if they are not, they are demons). During this time he began intimate relations with his online girlfriend Stefani, the daughter of Steve Jobs. Since Steve Jobs was very sick and she was going to receive his inheritance, she offered him her fortune to help build an actual church. John created a Facebook page and started talking to important people such as TV Host Dr. Phil, who also began to offer him money. However, in a turn of events someone messaged John explaining that everything was a lie, in which he did not reply. A couple days later John left the internet and wasn't seen until late 2013.
Personal Life
At the age of 6, John went over to his friend's house for a play-date. As he was playing with a toy car (his head slightly tilted in the other direction), his friend shot him in the stomach and left him bleeding on the floor. Luckily, his friend's mother found him on the ground and called an ambulance. John claims he "could have died" from the bullet to the heart, but luckily it skimmed the area and he came out okay. This can easily be interpreted as a prerequisite to his holy priesthood.
In his younger years, John was called by his middle name "Stephen" or "Steve". He suffered minor abuse and outing by his father, who in later years he claims to have "caused the death of his father by praying to God and wiping the dust off of his feet off at him." John graduated from high school and went on to receive an (obviously very outdated) degree in computers. During so, he has admitted to doing a lot of drugs (specifically hallucinogens such as LSD) which are thought to have progressed the onset of his schizophrenia. During this time, his brother Art Bulla introduced him to Mormonism in which he became very fond of and later became an elder. However, he soon discovered The Church of Christ with the Elijah Message and became very close with one of the elders, John. After John passed away, it appears that John Bulla got in a dispute with some of the other members and left. He now claims that he is the only ordained minister of the church. This means he is the only person that can allow marriage, divorce, etc. He is the only person who can baptize you into his "church" (which, currently, has not yet been built and includes no legitimate members).
Later on, John married a woman and had an affair with his step daughter. There have been several different claims made about the incident:
- His wife was a demon and so was the daughter. Since the wife wanted out of the relationship and was obviously fed up with his claims of holy priesthood, she made the daughter lie.
- He had an affair with his step daughter, and once his wife found out she lied about the whole thing.
- It didn't happen at all.
However, 3 is clearly incorrect since John is a registered sex offender and lives in a community for sexual predators. He also served 10 years in prison for the incident.
After John went on a hiatus, he moved in with his "very beautiful adult black girlfriend" Cherryelle. Like John, she had just been released from a mental institution and believed in his holy priesthood. However, their relationship was clearly very rocky, as observed by his posts on Facebook. His posts shuffled from "I just got done fucking my very beautiful adult black girlfriend" to "me and my very adult black girlfriend have broken up and I am going to the bar to look for another woman" all the way back to "me and my very beautiful adult black girlfriend are back together and just had sex." She apparently smoked weed, stole money from his hands on several occasions, and made several claims that she was a man. When asked to describe the sex, John said that she would "never take off her panties" and would only suck his penis with a condom on. John's mother apparently did not approve of Cherryelle, alongside most of his friends who claimed she was a man. The relationship came to an end when John withdrew $60 from an ATM, only to have Cherryelle pull it out of his hands and put it in her pocket. John moved into the sex offender park, leaving Cherryelle at the apartment by herself, without any money for bills or electricity. He claims "she must have really suffered because it was a very hot summer and she did not have air conditioning". John hasn't spoken with 'her' since.
Family and Personal Relations
John has sparingly talked about "the one who got away", a beautiful woman "maybe the most beautiful woman he has ever met in real life" that he used to have relations with. She was his first wife. He claims that she is the one that gave him genital herpes and herpes of the mouth. She tried to kill him by stabbing her and he had to call the cops on her. He hasn't talked to her since 1980's and often wonders where she is, but he says that "since he looks and acts younger he deserves younger women, and she is an old lady now" so he wouldn't want to see her anyway. She also had a son while they were married, which he supposedly did not marry because he "is not a faggot".
John's second wife was supposedly "very beautiful" (bear in mind he called Cherryelle beautiful...) but was also a very wicked person. He claims that she lied alongside her stepdaughter with the rape accusations.
Notable Demons and Girlfriends
- Warner Brothers
Initially John had a major distrust of Warner Brothers because he believed they had created a movie featuring him without permission. He believed that Bill Waggoner was working with Warner Brothers, and that he was one of the major demons. However, in recent days he has made little mention of Warner Brothers as it seems he has made stronger enemies with different demons that he believes are calling him directly from the depths of hell.
Voldemort is a modern day demon, and clearly one of John's biggest enemies. He has captured and injured many of John's girlfriends. He dwells from Hogwarts, a realm similar to hell. He has created many things such as canned peaches and marijuana. John has since given up canned peaches (actually, he claims to have given up peaches all together), claiming that he does not want to eat something "made by a demon."
- Bananas
Bananas are demon phones who are also able to talk and will go out of their way to make sure John listens to them. They have high pitched voices and sometimes faces. John recognizes the sound of one of these awful banana demon phones.
- Clones from the planet Jupiter
These are demons who live alongside Jupiter and have created a cloning machine. So far, clones have only been made of John and Stefani, since they are the only threats. John recognizes the difference between clones and humans. Clones all have individual personalities; some are demons, while some are nice individuals.
- Stefani
Stefani and John are married, and he has baptized her and omitted her into his church as his first ever member. Since John is only allowed one wife in heaven, he claims he will choose her. He genuinely loves this woman and considers her to be his main bitch.
- Mary the Virgin
Mary the Virgin is Jesus's mother, and the wife of God the Almighty. Her and God the Almighty are the two most powerful people in the world; she has even more power than Jesus. Mary sometimes speaks to John and helps him out.
- Moses's wife
Moses's wife has vagina power and has offered her body to John Bulla. She often has sex with Moses while she is on the call with Bulla.
- Moses
Moses is John's best friend. He has a lot of heavenly power and wields a Holy Sword that permanently kills demons. Moses helps John out a lot. He also stays with Stefani and protects her from demons. He kills a lot of demons, also.
- Moon Man
Moon Man was one of the worst demons; he was a hacker. He would oftentimes hack into Stefani's computer and add himself and other demons to the call. Moses has since then killed him and shredded his aura with a shredding machine. As of now, he is completely dead and not going to return.
- Moonie Pie
Moonie Pie is actually Satan. He is the most powerful of all of the demons. There have been many imposters, but he is the real devil. However, John has since beheaded him and he does not contact John often. He owns a big house on Pluto, a planet that is very similar to hell and spends a lot of time vacationing up there.
- Jesus
Jesus is Jesus. John listens to anything he says and has gone through a lot with him, such as blessing Jesus's alter and buying a nigger-fighting cowboy hat VIA Jesus's request. He was the first holy figure to come into his life.
- The Apostle Paul
The Apostle Paul is also John's friend. He spends a lot of time helping him and talking to him, and also overlooked the baptism of Stefani.
- The Arch Angel Michael
A friend of John's also who works with God.
- The Arch Angel Gabriel
A demon who pretends to be an Arch angel and is really a dark angel. He is also a faggot.
- Liz
A demon faggot man who fooled Stefani and pretended to be a woman. John thought that Liz was a woman, but once he found out she was actually a man, he cursed her and ended things.
- The Lion King
The king of Lions, who are heavenly beings. He often recruits John to help stop the awful demon Tigers from eating his cubs.
- Al Pacino
Al Pacino is one of John's friends, who may or may not get baptized into his church. He is making a movie staring John and has been toying with the idea of casting Danny Devito to play John.
- Shyloh
Shyloh, a deaf "very beautiful adult white girlfriend", began to contact John. She initially made claims of being 19, and within the second day of talking she began to show herself naked on camera. During this time he became very excited, causing him to cum into a bag and hold up on camera, while he laughed.(Later on he explained that sexual activities make him happy, causing him to laugh). However, after a couple of weeks of extreme sexual tension between the two, Shyloh revealed that she was 13-year-old and John felt as if this was okay (proving that once a pedophile, always a pedophile). However, it appears that he had second thoughts about Shyloh, and their relationship has become rocky due to accusations of lies and deceit.
- Jessica Durby
Jessica Bulla, aka Odin was a girl that claimed to be the niece of the Queen of England. She first contacted John about joining his church and then ended up being in a relationship with him. After dating for a while they exchanged nudes. Jessica surprised John saying that she's moving to the USA. She arrived at her motel in Clearwater, Texas and sent John to pick her up. Before arrived she was kidnapped and taken back to Texas and was put into a basement where she was tortured. The demon that kidnapped and tortured her was Odin.
- Melissa
Most of John's girlfriends despise this girl due to her constant accusations of demonhood. Yet he, for some reason, trusts and listens to her. She seems to enjoy exposing John's girlfriends, IE; Claimed that Steve Jobs had no daughter named Stefani, where as Stefani changed her name later on in life due to marital problems between her parents. However, she remains "just friends" with John.
Since the dawn of his internet days, John has always had a fascination with Britney Spears. She seldom contacts him, but he still has a fascination with an image of her on the cover of one of his 2005 Playboy Magazine. He said "I don't even know what she looks like now, but she is very beautiful."
- Odin
Odin is a commander of 1 of the 49 legions. With each legion there are over 9000 deamons. Odin is also responsible for the kidnapping, rape and torture of Jessica Bulla and Christine Mallard.
- Judas Iscariot
John thought he was the guy from the Bible, possessing his ex-girlfriend. He used to threaten to do nasty things with John's girlfriend and John himself. John thinks that Judas killed his girlfriend.
- Christine Mallard aka VonWolf Demon aka The Demon Moore
VonWolf is an experienced Internet troll and celebrated Old-fag. He was first introduced to John Bulla during a Facebook raid of Toaster Steve. Since then, he's been riding the roller coaster of emotion and story lines that is John's life. Christine Mallard has a troll Skype account that got involved with John, since than she's been constantly attacked and raped by demons, even giving birth to a demon spawn, herself. She's been taken to space to compete in basketball tournaments, buried alive and resurrected, imprisoned in Hell, held hostage in the Scientology headquarters, and all around molested. Her love for John has never wavered even though he constantly calls her a bitch and blames her troubles on her affinity towards drinking wine. VonWolf is Christine's main tormentor and also the demon of Facebook, webcams, microphones, and cellphone companies.
Modern Day Spastics
As of late 2013, John's schizophrenia and lust for sexual conduct has worsened. After meeting Shyloh, his inner sex offender has come out. John engages in activities such as playing recordings of the Playboy Channel on his cell phone while walking around the food store. He claims that by doing this, it will scare off the evil, demonic men that are flirting with the "very beautiful adult white women." However, he seems to push away all of the women that come to him; accusing them of demonic behavior, sorcery, or witchcraft.
—John S. Bulla - VIA twitter 2014 | ||
Early 2010 enjoyed a happy John Bulla who advocated his religion to all people of "different races and religions." This man actually enjoyed the company of others; whether male or female, demon or future member of his church. He had hope that he could conquer all the bad in the world and convert the demons into members of his church. This man listened to Gospel and wouldn't give into sins. He'd hardly swear and his mind was not set on "sexual offender" mode.
—John S. Bulla - VIA skype 2010 | ||
However, when John returned to the internet he was not the same man.
It is thought that he is undergoing an episode, as part of his schizophrenia.
This John is frail in appearance; if you look at the before and after picture posted online, you can literally see how much he has deteriorated in physical appearance.
This John is a hate machine; he hates demons, men, sharks and insects (especially mosquitoes), and ugly women.
This includes women with deep voices.
He "refuses to talk to demons" (but, as said before, he still does. This is thought to be out of desperation).
If he doesn't like something or is being accused of being wrong, he claims that "God says" his way is right and calls everyone a demon or a faggot.
Faggot has also become a very common term, alongside liar and demon.
—John S. Bulla - VIA skype 2014 | ||
John, Poop, and his child-like antics
This has been a new re-occurring topic. Clearly one dear to John Bulla's heart, as he is happy to talk about it often and stress the importance of steering clear of these two demonic foods in order to prevent from "splatter shits": Turnips and Bananas
He has also discovered that removing yeast and vinegar from his bread (That he makes himself) helps him to take nice "holy shits". (John should make a cooking show). His diet consists of Sal-mon (which he pronounces like a fucking retard), potatoes, coffee, tea, beer, and the occasional bag of um... cheese puffs.
However, after a few messages from God the Almighty, John found out that Sal-mon and tomatoes are actually of the devil and strayed close to a diet of eating sacramental bread and alcohol.
John stopped drinking alcohol as requested by Mary (as demon bacteria had infected all alcohol in the world). However, John decided to ask Mary if he could use a Brita to filter his alcohol, in to which she replied no.
On top of this, John has begun to stress the importance of straying free of strawberries, claiming that strawberries make his ass bleed (although everyone knows that john has a prolapsed asshole covered in horrible hemorrhoids which he refuses to get checked out)...
Infact, John mentioned a story of going to the doctors VIA ass pain, claiming that the doctor stuck his finger up his ass and it did not feel good (we later told him that the finger was actually the doctor's penis). John said he walked out immediately after because they were trying to stick something up his ass and he "wasn't into that gay shit", later claiming "I knew the doctor was a faggot, I wipe the dust off of my feet on him"
John also pays very close attention to how he wipes his ass. He does it in these important steps:
1. Make sure your toilet paper actually goes inside of your asshole
2. Closely examine the piece of toilet paper as you are wiping
3. Use the exact same piece of paper over and over, keeping a close eye on it, until it is so full of shit that you have to grab another
4. You do not have to wipe your ass as soon as you shit, oftentimes John will just get up and walk around
5. Do not put pants on, though
John has also explained his farts, claiming that he takes all of his clothes off and then wipes his ass sometimes.
On the other hand, it has appeared as though John's mental state has spiraled downward, as the things that excite him and make him laugh vs. the way he acts and his mannerisms have become very child-like. This man succumbs to the will of anything that the high-level heavenly figures ask of him. He laughs frantically when he is aroused and also find pleasure in the beheading of demons.
He also gets very, very upset if he is rejected. He makes business cards (which you can see next to one of the pictures of his shit) and hands them out. He has business cards for both pretty women and ugly women (and men).
Memorable Events
YouTube
- John S Bulla faded after 3 Beers
Previous Video | Next Video
Contact Information
His website has become more obscene; featuring many recordings of demons, pictures of him without his shirt on, sexual conversations with his very beautiful adult white girlfriends, etc.
He also makes some very important tweets on his new twitter account but you can still check out his old tweets on the account that was hacked.
HolyJohnSBulla2
johnsbulla1
See also
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John Bulla is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |
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