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Douglas Spink

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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This person has Assburgers Syndrome,
so you can't say anything bad! :-(

Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.


Douglas B. Spink also known as Fausty (born 1969) is a filthy Canadian whose claim to fame lies in his love of having sex with animals, and the lengths he will go to protect them. He has been active online for 15 years, is the owner and/or moderator of several websites, including CryptoCloud VPN CryptoStorm, a VPN service for Internet pedophiles, zoophiles and other degenerates. Like all self-proclaimed internet celebrities, Douglas has been the target of several personal attacks, but has always managed to overcome and bounce back:

Must love dogs
 
“ 		 
I've been asked before if I'm "the Doug Spink." Yes, I am. Is everything that's ever been said or written or posted about me true? Hardly. Yes, I'm controversial and non-typical and in many ways far outside the Normal world. . . but I could fill a book with crazy rumors that've been spread about me over the years. Years ago I stopped wasting time trying to track down all the mumbo jumbo, and nowadays I actively encourage the more hare-brained rumors about myself - purely for sport. So, if you've heard a really juicy new one lately, please do pass it along!
  		„
 

—He had a long record of "personal attacks" against him which was mysteriously deleted.


Oh - and did we mention he's a zoophile? That is why he runs CryptoCloud CryptoStorm, a VPN company that specializes in protecting those who commit bestiality. He's not only the founder, he's a member.


Drug Arrest

File:Douglas Spink prison.PNG
Details of Doug's arrest and release.

Doug's first public act of fucktardedness was in February 2005, in which he was stopped in Monroe, Washington while carrying 372 pounds of cocaine worth an estimated $34 million.

After pleading guilty Spink was sentenced to 3 years in jail and was released in 2007. His misfortune however did not end there. As well as losing all his money in a stock market crash, he was also sued for $800,000 and had to file for bankruptcy.

Many wonder why he would do something so retarded in the first place - but Doug freely admits he did if for his horses, although in future the only crack his stallions will be on will be his.

The ASAIRS Incident

File:Douglas Spink 1.PNG
You have the freedom to tell the world you fuck dogs, but you probably shouldn't.

Spink's strange and unusual pastimes first came to light during a battle with the ASAIRS INC., a site which was an animal welfare group. ASAIRS itself was officially disbanded in 2003, yet the site has never been deleted, sold or rented out.

The owners of the site had connections with Pet-Abuse.com and noticed to their horror and disgust that many of the sites they found on the web contained bestiality - some of them owned by Douglas Spink. Many of these sites were shut down simply by filing out a TOS violation against them.

Although most sane people would deny fucking everything, Spink's habit of leaving his penis in strange places is evidence that he is not particularly sane. Instead of covering his ass, Spinks openly confessed that he takes videos and photographs of himself fucking his animals. He also reported this to the president of the American Kennel Club, thinking he would back him up.

Needless to say, it didn't work.

Dog Abuse

In order to get close to the pooches he so desires, Spink was once a member of the Golden Retriever Club of America. Many animal-fuckers claim forcing your dick into Rover's anus is not abuse, so long as you love them. Spink could not get this right either and treated his dogs like a battered housewife:


  • X-Sender: [email protected]
  • Message-Id:
  • In-Reply-To: [email protected]
  • Date: Sun, 23 Apr 2000 12:08:14 -0400
  • To:
  • From: xxxxxxxxxretrievers.com
  • Subject: Re: Abuse of Goldens In Oregon, (long)

...as he lived with us in our Elgin, Illinois home for over a year and married my former partner in Topbrass Retrievers-Judy S(xxxx). I saw a very alarming side of (him) that scared me and I asked him to leave our premises back in Aug of 94.

...his abuse to animals and he has an uncontrollable temper that frightened me. I felt that he was a dangerous person to my dogs. The details that you presented in your conversation with Bill Freeberg are pretty accurate.

... When he went to the Univ. of Chicago Graduate school starting in the summer of 93, I invited him to live with us, in exchange for caring for our dogs when we traveled etc. He lived in a spare bedroom in our home for just over a year. During this time he met my former partner, Judy, and while we were wintering in Florida during the winter of 93-94

... The dogs involved in this partnership were all registered with he and I as co-owners. I started getting complaints every time Douglas would go to a competition and then several other incidence occurred that made me want to dissolve this partnership. I asked him sometime in September of 94 to sign my dogs back to me and to please move from our home. I offered to help him find other accommodations but he was furious and ended up moving in with Judy and her 2 children who still lived at home.

One of the problems that disturbed me most about (him) was his uncontrollable temper toward dogs and people. While caring for our dogs during that winter, I got notice of a possible lawsuit by a local couple (NOTE: name will not be published here) who had delivered a bitch to be bred to one of our males. This bitch... almost died as a result of a punctured lung. Records can be verified at Dundee Animal Hospital, where the dog was treated.

I also found out about several of my own dogs that he had admitted beating up supposedly when they disobeyed him. It was at this time, that I decided to ask (him) to leave our home. Judy gave me a deposit at that time for a pup from a breeding that she liked. I refused to sell them a dog on the premise that I thought Doug was abusive to animals. She was furious about it but I stuck to my decision and did not sell them a pup.


Luckily for Doug all was not lost - it's safe to assume after a lot of surprise sex in the showers, Spink's asshole is finally wide enough to upgrade from doggie cock to horse penis.

Exitpoint Stallions

File:Lolllpenis.gif
The staff at Exitpoint currently filming the sequal to Mr. Hands.
 
“ 		 
Oh, and one more thing: we don't practice routine castration here at Exitpoint, not with our dogs or horses or humans either. While it opens me personally up to the tired, old charge that I'm "just a guy with a hang-up about balls," that's not important. What is important is respecting the physical integrity of our friends - genital mutilation reflects a deeply troubled attitude towards our fellow beings. Friends don't cut friends. There's a world of justifications offered for the practice of routine castration, but none of them holds up under objective scrutiny. The facts are clear: it's unnecessary, physically harmful, and a deeply flawed approach to cross-species interaction. Enough said.
  		„
 

—Enough said indeed.


Unlike other stud farms which train their horses to the point of exhaustion and frequently over-breed their mares, Exitpoint Stallions prides itself on taking a humane and ethical approach. To the virgin reader this may sound like a wonderful way to bring up animals. To the internet veteran however these are thinly-disguised euphemisms for bestiality.

Mr. Hands - Where are you?!

   
“ 		 
imagine if someone were to take him and geld him, that would seem the ultimate back stabbing. sounds like someone has problems with the stallions owner/trainer?
  		„
  		 

—Miss Neigh, revealing more than she means to.

On May 2008 one of the horses named "Capone I" (worth $5 million) on Spink's stud farm mysteriously went missing. Oddly, Spink never received a ransom note and claims it's unlikely anybody would buy sperm from a stolen horse (depending of course what they plan to do with it). The horse was also uninsured. Spink himself also said it was likely to have been an inside job because "This was obviously done by someone who had a pretty good feeling that I wasn't going to be there this weekend."


It was later discovered the person who took the horse was Corrine Super, co-owner of Exitpoint and Spink's ex-fiancee, because he pulled the same shit on her in 2007. The relationship between Corrine Super and Douglas Spink became increasingly strained after she discovered that in order to satisfy Doug, she would have to change both species and gender. It is assumed that Corrine stole the horse either to save it from its sexually abusive owner or - more likely - she was jealous he was getting more attention from Doug than she was.

Bestiality Photos

 
“ 		 
Thanks for at least providing some balance to the description – the choice of “beastforum” as a “source” about my life is rather less than fair, I have to say – I’ve gone after the porn operators who own/run that website for almost a decade now – and they retaliated against me by making those “cute” posts while I was locked up. Spreading their attacks against me further doesn’t seem to do much positive, nor really bring to light any “new” gossip about me.
  		„
 

—Followed by a comment saying "Thanks for the animal porn"

Like all people who fuck dogs Spink claims these photos aren't real, despite the fact he freely admits to being a zoophile every chance he gets. But the most obvious reason why Spink is a bullshitter is that he was imprisoned from 2004-2007 - notably all the posts he made on BeastForum stop in 2004.

Websites

  This article needs moar information on the websites he owns.
You can help by adding moar information on the websites he owns.

CryptoCloud Contact Information

  • Email: [email protected]
  • Phone: +1.866.682.6911 Tollfree (but not trollfree) worldwide
  • Phone: +1.866.682.6911 x2 Rings Admin
  • Mailing address: PO Box 69, Mendocino, CA 95460, United States of America

Coming Soon - WOLFMURDERERS.ORG

File:Fausty wolfmurderers.org.PNG

In the same manner as Negotionationisover.com Spink plans to create a website which lists the personal details of wolf hunters in the USA. Creating such a website fills the void that is Douglas' soul asshole. Like all animal-lovers Spink wants to protect wolves because they are cool and pretty and humans are just big meanies who like to kill things for fun. Just as likely however is that Doug does not like the idea of people killing the ancestors of his furry boyfriends. And nobody gives a fuck about protecting endangered frogs.

In an act of hilarious hypocrisy Douglas plans to shame the hunters by posting their dox online - even though in the past he's pissed off dozens of people both OL and IRL by suing them for slander while promoting privacy on the internet.. Even more hilarious however is the fact that Doug has been abusing dogs for years and most other animal rights activists would tear his asshole inside out if given half a chance.

Dox (UNCONFIRMED)

 
“ 		 
Douglas Spink, a graduate of Reed College and a recipient of an MBA from the University of Chicago, is a lifelong student of the nonhuman world, with extensive experience in canine pack dynamics, competitive

showjumping, and successful equine and canine breeding management. Active online for over 15 years, he has been the focus of public fascination as a result of his business successes and failures, BASE jumping experiences, stallion management philosophies, narcotics conviction, technology projects, and non-traditional family life. A popular speaker on topics as diverse as entrepreneurship, cryptographic privacy tools, cross-species relationships, and literary theory, he serves as CTO of Baneki Privacy Computing (baneki.com). He can be contacted directly at [email protected] or via telephone at 800 909 3972
 

„
 

Family:
NOTE: Doug has not spoken to them for years. Tell them of his farmyard fun.


  • Claire Spink (Mother)
  • Jack Spink (Father)
  • Corrine Super (ex-finacee)
  • Judy Spink (ex-wife)
  • Matthew Slayton (Stepson)


Exitpoint Stallions: 

Exitpoint Stallions Limitee
336 36th Street, Suite 356
Bellingham, Washington 98225
USA

tollfree voice: 800.909.3972
tollfree fax: 800.909.3973
outside the USA: 360.306.0112
email: [email protected]

Arrest at the Horse Brothel

File:Douglas Spink PETA.PNG
Contacting another well-known troll organisation.

Douglas Spink was arrested in Whatcom County, WA for running a horse brothel.

   
“ 		 
Under the blue tarps they say people from around the world would stay as sex tourists invited to abuse animals.
  		„
  		 

—What's wrong with zeta toys?

   
“ 		 
In a crudely built compound tucked into the backwoods near the Canadian border, federal investigators say crimes were happening that are too disturbing to describe.
  		„
  		 

—We can guess.

   
“ 		 
Dozens of dogs, horses and pet mice were seized, along with what investigators described as thousands of images of bestiality and apparent child pornography. The mice were euthanized, said Whatcom County Sheriff Bill Elfo, whose office assisted federal agents in the case.

“This stuff is just truly bizarre,” he said. “These were mice that had their tails cut off, they were smothered in Vaseline and they had string tied around them.”
 

„
  		 

—Wait - wat?

   
“ 		 
He says dozens of horses and dogs were seized from the compound. Some of them were so injured they had to be euthanized.
  		„
  		 

—He doesn't even love them :(

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Douglas Spink
is part of a series on
Bad things that happen to animals  
Basic Concepts [-+]

Animal Abuse • Bestiality • Furry • Hunting • Taxidermy

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