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Future
From Encyclopedia Dramatica
|
Future is going to be fixed up later... So stay tuned! |
The future is everything that happens right after you read this article. The future also refers to things that have already happened. Many things have happened and will happen in the future. Here is a timeline.
Timeline O' The Future
20th Century and before
- 1885 - Dr. Emmett L. Brown and Martin Seamus McFly Sr. use Locomotive 131 to push the DeLorean up to 88 mph and travel back to 1985.
- 1947 - Aliens crash in Roswell, New Mexico. However it is later revealed that it was just a bunch of Mexicans who have traveled in a time machine from year 2144. Meanwhile, the Planet Express crew travel back in time from the 31st century, thanks to a supernova wormhole and Philip J. Fry accidently kills his grandfather and does the nasty in the pasty his grandmother so he will not cease to exist and becomes his own grandfather.
- 1955 - Martin Seamus McFly Sr. Accidentally gets sent back in time, pwns a pine tree, almost has sex with his mother and helps his old man to not become Biff's bitch for the rest of his life. He then, with the help of the Dr. Emmett L. Brown of 1955, goes back to the future. Later, him and Doc come back because old Biff hacks the past and gets lots O' $$$. Marty then gets stuck when the DeLorean gets struck by lightning, which causes Doc to get sent back to The Old West.
- 1985 - Dr. Emmett L. Brown and Martin Seamus McFly Sr. become the first known time travelers, and return back to the future.
- 1997 - SkyNet, a popular Linux distribution of the US Government suffers a major core dump, causing it to accidentally deploy all American missles against Soviet Russia.
- 1999 - Phillip J. Fry is cryogenicly frozen.
- 2000 - Mike Nelson gets shot into space and must watch shitty sci-fi films with his gay robot slaves.
21st Century
- 2001 - The dumbass W gets elected, then Jews do WTC, so he institutes 1984 and destroys Murka during his 8-year reign.
- 2007 - The dank memes that lazy, arrogant, bored Millennial teenagers make begin to be used by the normies, creating another Eternal September event.
- 2008 - Obama gets elected, continuing the bullshit politics of his predecessor. The bush 3.0 presidency lasted another 8 miserable years.
- 2012 -
World ends allegedlylolno. - 2015 - Dr. Emmett L. Brown and Martin Seamus McFly Sr. travel again further into the future to stop Biff Tannen from ballsing things up for the rest of humanity.
- 2016 - Our lord and savior The Donald is elected president. Collective bricks are shat by progressive retards leading to one of the greatest political upheaves of the 2010s.
- 2016 - The Onion becomes somewhat of a legitimate news source.
- 2017 - Apple Releases the $1000 Emoji machine known as iPhone X.
- 2018 - Trump MOABS Syria, even though they're fighting ISIS.
- 2020 - Dumbfuckistan destabilizes the gook region around Japan, Korea, and China. It has also been mathematically proven that this will be the year western civilization begins to collapse, starting with COVID-19 and the George Floyd riots
- 2020 - The Donald is re-elected president of the USA. I swear, he won by a lot!
Save us, Trump, from creepy Uncle Joe! - 2021 - Generation X and Millenials begin to reshape global politics, while the Baby Boomers and other shitty generations fuck off and die, mostly due to old age or COVID-19.
- 2021 - A group of marine biologists living aboard an underwater sea lab will become the subject of a cartoon on the famously elitist Adult Swim; television designed for people who think they are smarter than everybody else, but not quite smart enough to stop watching the fucking television.
- 2022 - 5,000,000,000 motherfuckers are now on teh intarwebz. (See: Eternal September)
- 2023 - Mario finally kills Bowser, but feels empty now that princess peach is 99 years old.
- 2024 - You can now text/surf teh intarwebz with the power of your puny brain.
- 2024 - The majority of western youth now sexually identify as bizarre or stupid shit like trigender walrus otherkin.
- 2025 - The bible belt secedes from the USA a second time. The Donald is immediately appointed their supreme leader and prophet of God, replacing Jesus Christ.
- 2025 - Drones now spam the world map IRL in 'murka.
- 2026 - New islands will randomly pop into existence on the world map.
- 2030 - Flying cars will be invented.
- 2031 - Overpopulation is starting to seriously raep Earth. India, Mexico, and the Middle-East are the major culprits for the population explosion.
- 2032 - Degenerate sexual acts become common sightings in the streets of the West, even in small towns like Cheyenne, Wyoming; this trend began in San Francisco during the early 21st century.
- 2031 - Anonymous destroys the Church of Scientology.
- 2032 - Citizens of San Angeles are terrorized by famous black person Wesley Snipes. He is ultimately defeated by a suave Sylvester Stallone and a Jew Sandra Bullock.
- 2033 - Russia gets bombed, and the citizens are forced to live in the underground metro stations surrounding the area. As mutations occur, a new species is created called the Dark Ones. Nobody knows what they do, but it appears they have telepathic abilities.
- 2034 - USA starts to decline as a world power. You got what you deserved, you sweaty fat fucks.
- 2035 - The Muslim plague has dramatically risen. Somebody should do something about it.
- 2035 - A bishie faggot almost becomes Dracula. Meanwhile Will Smith fights some robots.
- 2037 - Europe is now majority non-white.
- 2038 - On Tuesday, January 19, all the computers in the world stop working forever at precisely 03:14:07 (UTC), and consequently our civilization is knocked back to the technological level of the 1940s. (PROOF) All historical events below this entry only take place in the parallel universe where John Titor lives.
- 2040 - Tobacco has been greatly reduced from society, with those who chose to be fags and smoke, usually dying from Cancer and rightfully so. Fags.
- 2041 - Famous home shopping center Lowe's is acquired in a hostile takeover by Home Depot Gmbh (Now run by Germans). People realize the future isn't all that different from 2005.
- 2043 - White People become a Minority in America.
- 2044 - Cisgenderism is no longer normalized.
- 2048 - Mass Extinction of life via anthropogenic means may occur by this point. Epic lulz.
- 2054 - 5 year survival rates for ass cancer are at 100%. You might just survive reading OP's posts in the future!
- 2068 - Halley's comet will return, and probably have Rule 34 if it exists by that point.
- 2077 - Prepared for a nuclear or biological attack from China, the President, and the Enclave retreat to remote sections around the globe and make contingency plans for continuing the war. A few months later, Nuka Cola Quantum is released to the public just hours before the bombs are launched. Who struck first is unknown, and it is not even known if the bombs came from China or America. Other countries, seeing the missiles on their way, launch their planes and fire their warheads. Air raid sirens sound, but very few people go into vaults, thinking it is a false alarm. The Vaults are sealed. What ensues is two hours of nuclear bombardment upon the Earth's surface. The effects are far worse than most imagined. The Earth's faults shift violently. Mountain ranges thrust themselves through the soil. Whole lands are submerged under floods of water. The Necropolis Vault never closes. Once it becomes known that the other vaults have sealed, people within Bakersfield, CA attempt to force their way into Vault 12 to protect themselves and their families.
- Also 2077 - Some city in California starts going full retard.
- 2080 - No, kids. We don't go back to the 80s here...
- 2090 - AMD creates the world's first self-aware Android known as David.
22nd Century
- 2100 - AMD Releases the next generation android Walter
- 2101 - War begins. Bases are belong to CATS. Zigs are moved for great justice.
- 2102 - The word literally is no longer abused, but the few people who would care all an heroed a long time ago because of its abusers.
- 2104 - The android David who was assigned to the Prometheus star ship has been found
- 2115 - First world economy collapses. Global blackout. People riot in the streets. The wealthiest release drones and cybernetic organisms - living tissue over a metal endoskeleton - called terminators, to exterminate the 40+ billion masses.
- 2120 - Alec Mason goes to Mars after he decided that the EDF fail at at helping Earth, only have his brother killed by Pedobear.
- 2144 - Mexicans steal a time machine, get inside while drunk on bathtub tequila and accidentally travel back to 1947 and crash in Roswell, New Mexico.
- 2200 First dome city on Mars is constructed, Most of the solar system is colonized.
26th Century
- 2525 - If mankind is still alive, if woman can survive, humans wage an intergalactic war against the Covenant. Some argue that the war will end in 2552 when Master Chief fucks up The Ark and another Gaylo.
30th Century
- 2999 - Phillip J. Fry is defrosted and begins his life in the 31st century but is still a loser.
Far Future
- 9001 - Some argue the Internets will stop due to a catastrophic event, somewhat akin to the dreadfull Y2K tragedy, ending the world as we know it. Also expect some fucked up shit, and possibly a better meme depicting very large numbers.
- 381724 - OP is still a faggot
- ??? - Heroes arrive at the final endpoint of all time, defeat Ultimecia and halt time compression, but end up creating a time paradox which results in all events regarding their actions continuing to repeat- forever..
The Year 102,017
See Also
