Wyoming
Wyoming is the smallest state, not by size, but by population. It is the only state that actually needs the "below" part of "A population of 500,000 and below shall only constitute one representative in the House of Representatives." This is because the state is so buttfucking boring and lifeless that not even the equally boring and retarded Mormons stayed here when trying to escape persecution. Now they just drive the 80 miles from Salt Lake to Evanston to buy full strength porn and liquor.
Where Men are Men, and Sheep are Nervous
Most of the population of Wyoming is either Christian hicks or Mexicunts. There are so many fucking retards that Republicans make up nine fucking tenths of the population. Usually you can see these idiots strutting around with mullets, or alternatively, hanging around outside of public schools waiting for kids to come out so they can jump them and throw flyers for churches at them. The other tenth is made up of emo fucktards who listen to Rage Against the Machine and bitch about how terrible their suburban lives are. Most residents are motor sports enthusiasts who spent more cash on snowmobiles or ATVs then they did on their children's education. Yet no one owns a car, as you can take the shuttle to the rig or the mine, and there are plenty of places to tie your horse up while you get shitfaced at the saloon. Oh, also, Barbara Cubin, Wyoming's only representative in the house, assaulted a quadriplegic who was running against her. An interesting statistic that illustrates the mentality of the state is that 1 in every 2 farmhands will rape an animal in his life.
Matthew Shepard
Matthew Shepard was some faggot from Wyoming. During a stay at the Fireside Lounge of Laramire, two closet cases offered him a ride home. During the drive, the duo went off-road to a rural and remote area. Matthew died after being robbed, bitch slapped with a pistol, and tortured until being tied to a fence and left to die, in a show of typical Wyomingite behavior. He was beaten so badly that his skull was fractured and his face was entirely covered with blood.
Eventually the two rednecks who lynched Matthew were arrested by cops, for starting a fight with a pair of Spics. The rednecks got pwn'd and lost the fight. During the arrest, the cops found the bloody gun and Matthew's credit card and shoes in their truck.
Nearly a day after the attack, Matthew was discovered by a bicyclist who mistook the fag as a scarecrow. Eventually the cops showed up, and the fag was flown out to a Colorado hospital. Matthew was discovered to have been HIV positive. Shepard's injuries were too severe to treat, so he was put on life support but died anyways at the tender age of 21.
His death caused h8 crime legislation to be enforced nationwide, but wyoming still remains a fabulously closeted state filled with redneck savages and Not gay Cowboys.
Matthew Shepard Jokes
- I was going to tell you this joke about Matthew Shepard...
- ..but I'm kinda on the fence about it.
- What does a gay guy and a tumbleweed have in common?
- They blow and blow until they get stuck on a fence in Wyoming.
- Wanna hear a joke?
Tourism
Imagine, for a second, staring across an empty void. No life, no color, just wind and boredom. Welcome to Wyoming! Please contribute to our unstable, coal and oil-based economy! Our police would be happy to give you a speeding ticket, and blackmail you on the side of the road. Remember, if you pay now, this won't go on your record!
The one good thing about Wyoming is Yellowstone National park, renowned for it's geysers, wildlife, and tourists who dress like cowboys while there for three days. To the East and North, there is nothing but sagebrush and horse shit until you get to Omaha, or Canada respectively. In Mantana to the surrounding west LEARN 2 MAP, one will find gay cowboys and pine trees. To the south lies Jackson Hole and The Tetons, which the French named after tits. Jackson Hole is overrun with Wholefoods shoppers and their Performance Fleece wearing river tour patrons.
Wyoming: Entrance to Hell
Another notable thing about Wyoming is that it is the location that Jeebus chose to put Hell. The rationale for such a conclusion is as follows:
- Devil's Tower
- Yellowstone Volcanic activity (a.k.a. THE GIANT FUCKING CALDERA THAT IS 60,000 YEARS OVERDUE TO GO APESHIT ON HALF THE CONTINENT, AND KILL THE ENTIRE WORLD)
- Devils gate
- Hell's half acre
- Mormon trail
- The city of Casper, named not after the fucking ghost, but a retarded soldier who got captured, raped, and mutilated in a battle, then Indian children spun his mutilated torso around on a frozen log for fun. AND THEY NAMED A FUCKING TOWN AFTER HIM. FUCK. There is also a town named after the only thing there, the Little America Hotel.
- They had a governor who took the skin of some dude and made it INTO FUCKING SHOES. WTF.
- Dick Cheney was born in Casper, the aforementioned city named after an pwnt soldier.
- They didn't even spell the pwnt soldier's name right when naming the town. IT'S CASPAR FUCKTARDS, NOT CASPER. CHRIST.
- Jeez guise maybe it was named after the friendly fuckin ghost
Gallery
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I AM THE WAY INTO THE CITY OF WOE, ABANDON ALL HOPE YE WHO ENTER HERE
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