School Shooter: North American Tour 2012

FACT ALERT: This game's many lulzy missions is considered an "improvement in student behavior" by Lake Forest Middle teachers

	“	The object of School Shooter: North American Tour 2012, a Source modification of Half-Life 2, is to murder as many defenseless students, teachers and members of staff as possible. To do so, the player uses weapons based on those used by the likes of Columbine shooters Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold. After completing the spree, the player is encouraged to commit suicide before being captured by law enforcement officials.	„
	—article from The Huffington Post

School Shooter: North American Tour 2012 is the biggest troll mod and (needless to say) the only good thing to come out of the shitty Source modding community. It is being developed by the greatest modding group of all time, Checkerboarded Studios, a group formed mainly by guys from Metokur, who also made mods such as Checkerboarded Hopes 2 and Half Mind. Unlike most mods such as Zombie Panic: Source and Ricochet: Source, this mod is actually original, and the dev team promises to give the player the best school shooting experience an angsty little shit as yourself could ever experience.

Of course, much butt-hurt arose from retarded soccer moms, whiny Christians, and victims of actual school shootings, but nobody gives a fuck about them because it's called The First Amendment. Mod-DB, the greatest modding site evar, removed the mod due to the feedback they got for hosting the mod.

It should be noted that due to recent shitstorm of bawing from butt-hurt faggots, the Checkerboarded Studios website has shut down. Let us weep for them. However, you can find an archive of their old site here!

Gameplay

The story revolves around the player who must kill all of his fellow classmates, and then become an hero. In the meanwhile, he must survive by killing cops and other such distractions. Most of the weaponry is inspired by the actual weapons Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold used, as well as weapons used by Blazn Azn at Virginia Tech.

	“	You play a disgruntled student, fed up with something (we're not exactly sure), and after researching multiple school shooting martyrs, he decides to become the best school shooter ever. You decide to arm yourself with the exact same weapons as a previous school shooter such as; Eric Harris' TEC-9, Dylan's sawed-off shotgun, Seung-Hui Cho's akimbo pistols, Nevada-Tan's...box cutter? The possibilities are endless, you are free to do whatever you want. As long as it involves shooting people.	„

Some more info about it, from their site:

	“	6 amazingly realistic maps with cool features like high dynamic range, and multiple students for you to shoot at. A points system that tracks every murder you commit. Bonuses are recieved for various things such as headshots, difficulty level you are on, what your health is, how cool you are in real life, and some other stuff that we'll probably crowbar in as time goes on by. A weapon loadout system based on 4 real-life spree killers. 13 brand-new fuckin' weapons based on the weapons used by the aforementioned 4 spree killers, these will all be pain-stakingly modeled by one of our best (and probably only modeler), [NAME REDACTED]. A round timer that will give you about 5 or so minutes to do what you do best, kill people. Gamemodes will be programmed that interface with this round timer, the ones we're working on right now are a "survival" type gamemode were you try to survive the longest amount of time, and another were you are given 60 seconds to kill as many people as you can. The more kills you get, the more time you get. Music that sounds a lot like the things certain school shooters (their names rhyme with Shmylan and Shmeric) were thought to be influenced by. Developer commentary by fellow developers of this fine project. Note: Developers actual voices will be masked in order to protect them from potential backlash. And what is more better than the ability to commit suicide at the end of your spree with a self-inflicted gun shot wound? What's even more special is that this works, even if you're completely out of ammo! (Real spree killers keep a single bullet hidden in their boot incase some shit goes down).	„

Lulz.

Lulzy Responses

	“	You sir are one ******-up individual. This isn't like GTA, you're killing REAL people. Man, rot in hell you sorry excuse for a person.	„
	—Hypocrite

	“	You can't download that game since that's illegal. Best solution? Purchase the game in game stores and safe shopping site, such as Amazon	„
	—Random Dumbass, thinking one gets HL2 mods off Amazon

	“	How sick. No wonder we're in such a state, ith such blatant disregard for the lives of our fellow human beings in general and disrespect for those killed or injured. Perhaps my sister, whose only child was k i l l e d at NIU, has grounds for an emotional distress lawsuit against this "game" manufactur­er.	„
	—Butthurt

	“	I'm sure that if you wait a bit, you can get this bundled with other fun and healthy games such as Small Animal Torture, Gang R@pe and Infant Kick. Fun for everyone!	„
	—Lulz

	“	While I can understand the kneejerk negative reaction to this videogame as I share the sentiment, it begs the following question. Would we rather have kids shooting other kids in the virtual world or the real world? I'd say carry this venture a step further. Make the characters able to have faces imported and you could vent a whole lot of frustratio­n and not hurt anyone in the process. Also, psychiatri­sts should consider using this type of game as a training or diagnostic aid. Think about it.	„
	—Someone with a brain

	“	The only thing that should not be allowed in games are actual people being murdered and actual children being sexually abused.	„
	—WTF

	“	yeah and snuff porn turns you into a rapist. I've heard this argument before, that kids can't tell the difference between real life and fantasy. I for one would love to play this game.	„
	—Random faggot

	“	So it's been ruled that protesting military funerals is protected under the Constituti­on, but video games built around the premise of school violence are taboo? I'm not advocating games such as this, don't get me wrong. I would never recommend any sort of "entertain­ment" that center on tragedy. But in the grand scheme of gaming titles, how different is this from say, Call of Duty, which pits players as shooters against Nazi encampment­s, for example? Maybe that's a poor example. There are hundreds of games that are created around semi-histo­ric battles in the FPS genre alone that could potentiall­y cause discontent amongst those being targets. I myself have played games that had me shooting Japanese troops on a dark delta island. Why isn't there an uproar from Japan over this? I wouldn't play this title, nor would I allow my children to do so, but as someone ho has studied game design, and as a veteran who believes in the freedom of speech, I wish the developer luck in getting this title published. If people are allowed to protest the funerals of our nations heroes without fear of prosecutio­n, then Mr. Lombe ought not fear displaying his work.	„
	—Libertarian oldfag

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Jack Thompson's Letter to Gayben

Dear Mr. Newell:

You either know or should know that the more moral midgets who run Checkerboarded Studios have created a mod for your company's Half-Life which they call School Shooter: North American Tour 2012. This mod is a full-blown Columbine massacre simulator which cannot function without your company's assistance and acquiescence.

Attached herewith is a letter from FHE-ASAP that expresses their, my, and others' concerns about this Columbine massacre mod. As you either know or should know, your Half-Life murder simulator was obsessively played, and thus became a training aid, for a) teenaged Robert Steinhauser, who authored at Erfurt, Germany, the worst school shooting massacre in European history, and b) Seung-Hi Cho, who authored at Virginia Tech University the worst school shooting massacre in world history. As to the latter, the sources of this information are the Washington Post and the New York Times. Now some sociopaths have made reprises of Erfurt and Virginia Tech far more likely.

Given the fact that your company has the technological ability to stop the operation of School Shooter, you must undertake steps immediately to do so.

Speaking for myself alone (for now), you have until five o'clock pm Eastern standard time this Friday, March 18, 2011, to shut down this public safety hazard I predicted years ago this school massacre game would arrive. I hate being right all the time.

GOVERN YOURSELF ACCORDINGLY.

Regards, Jack Thompson

Availability

Shortly after the game was pulled from ModDB, the developers claimed they would release it again on their own site. That was in late 2011. Sometime between then and now, the developers acquired a crippling case of Troll's Remorse and as of current are refusing to release the game in any form. The main developer, pawnstick, has purportedly deceased, and the remaining developers are keeping the game under wraps, "in his honor". They're also threatening legal action against anybody who tries to distribute their game, which would of course make it even lulzier to find and distribute EVERYEHRE.

That said, if anybody knows where to find a copy of this magnificent peice of artwork, it would be incredibly lulzy and greatly appreciated.

Videos

Lulzy gameplay footage.

Gameplay footage. News reporters fall for the troll More gameplay. Previous Video | Next Video

See Also

• Columbine
• Virginia Tech
• Half Life 2
• Modding
• Jack Thompson
• Trolling
• Lulz

External Links

• Forum website of the guys behind the mod deleted

School Shooter: North American Tour 2012 is part of a series on Gaming Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.

[Stop shooting!Pull the trigger]

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