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PETA

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HOLY SHIT PETA KILLS ANIMALS!!!1
   
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PETA has been the target of criticism by other animal rights advocates, some of whom believe the group is too soft on the issue of animal rights.
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—Wikipedia


Indeed.
PETA has also converted some niggers to their cause as well.
Eating burgers in front of a PETA stand is IRL Trolling
PETA interrupts a fat nigger on one of his regular feeding schedules. Eating her pussy counts as meat
Correct method of dealing with PETArds is by PWNDing them
Peta Wilson

PETA is a Terrorist Organization created in the '80s by a crazy bulldyke named Ingrid Newkirk and her sick fucks, with the twin goals of torturing innocent veal ranchers and pwning rich people by spray-painting peace signs on their (PETA's, notthe rich people's) endangered species fur coats. Unfortunately, the goal was not precious lulz, but to stop people from eating meat and wearing fur, making these would-be excellent IRL trolls just a bunch of hippies with a lame cause, much like Project Chanology. In general, PETA attempts fails to convince people that delicious animals are people too. But any fucktard knows that animals aren't humans, and most animal would eat or enslave us if they could, they're just not evolved enough to do it. PETA is the second largest cause of faggotry in the US next to Furaffinity. Kill them both with fire.

The entire organization is currently $100 million in debt, and is only kept in existence by Satanic influence. In other words, they strive to be the most prominent activist organization in the world, as well as to "save" all the animals in the world so they can butt-rape them themselves. They even have a deviantART page. Go on, you know what to do with it. Don't forget the Peta2 boards.

Diets

Use this to troll PETA faggots.
Some friends are more delicious than others.

Unsurprisingly, PETA supports vegans but not vegefags because consuming dairy, fish, eggs, honey, or gelatin means that you support the enslavement of animals. You are also forbidden to wear leather and fur, but it's okay to wear imitation leather and faux fur. If an animal skin is second hand and unpaid for, it's good to go by vegan standards, as is anything purchased prior to 'the conversion', never mind that you would still be perpetuating the style, and therefore, the demand for real leather and fur.

However, despite the innumerable dietary substitutes they must consume to perpetuate there worthless lives, vitamin B12 cannot be synthesized without the use of animal tissues. They will endlessly deny this but it is impossible to be a vegan, unless they want to die of Parkinson's Disease like symptoms.

Meet Your Meat (available on peta TV)

This video is considered one of the gold standards for upsetting the public with regards to how meat is commercially raised and handled at slaughter. If you handn't been informed about it here, your first contact with it would likely have been when some arrogant vegan with a lot of money to spend on alternatives and time to source them handed you it's web address on a flyer. It graphically depicts the details involved for the processing of various different meats. Needless to say, it makes the baby jesus cry.

Someone wishing to speak with an informed opinion when confronting a peta would be wise to watch this video. They would also benefit from jewtubing every video on animal slaughter. What they will begin to notice is that not only are a lot of these videos relatively old, there aren't that many and some even include scenes that are found within others. It should become clear to the educated EDiot after viewing some of the more humane slaughtering videos that peta has either not visited that many slaughter houses or has doctored the footage to show only those with terrible track records. Evidenced by how little unique material there is available on what they suggest to be the normal way every slaughter house operates and the lack of more humane operations taking place in modern, inspected houses. This lack of quantity and variation in the content is quite remarkable for a group of fuckwits who'll put so much effort into terrorizing or assaulting staff, and their families, for so much as delivering supplies to companies handling animals.

Chew on my Chewbacca (also available via peta TV)

Chew On This! (cross your arms and point when saying this to be leet) is a newer attempt by peta to highlight the downsides of eating meat. They begin by discussing the important issue of heart attacks; for which they use two points to make what is effectively one point.

This rapidly descends to telling you meat makes you fat (something which is incorrect based on the biochemistry of digestion), that there is literally shit in prepackaged chicken, that meat is "filthy and bloody" (but vegetables covered in shit, piss, soil ridden with insects, fungi and harmful bacteria aren't the same we can assume - which they eat raw) and that it makes your main drain vein soft (the last vegan this EDiot met hadn't ever had sex, and had his only chance to get some stolen from him by his 'friend', a carnivore).

Things go from bad to worse as the points simply become a list of personal opinions. Of course, this is not without irony when they begin discussing threatening or harming other beings, given their approaches to those involved in these industries.

Point number 10 is of special merit, as this is the same video footage used in the Meet Your Meat video of a cow they show when discussing cancerous growths, which now has BSE as well; or perhaps neither.

If you have read the section above and watched Meat Your Meet, you will immediately recognize the same scenes being used. peta, with their tomes of evidence on systematic animal cruelty, are still recycling videos that look a decade or more out of date. In fact, the majority of the scenes used in this new bit of propashite are copypasta.

Famous Trolling Escapades

Jesus was a vegefag

One of PETA's earlier trolling escapades was their 1999 "Jesus was a vegetarian" campaign. PETA claimed that Jesus lived a natural, vegan life, eating vegetables and rejecting animal sacrifice. Hey, neat idea for a campaign! Except it's not fucking true. According to the Bible, Jesus ate fish and meat on several occasions. A more appropriate stock character would be Hitler, who actually was a vegetarian, but I guess "Hitler was a vegetarian" doesn't sound as appealing.

"Got beer?" campaign

In 2000, PETA launched their "Got Beer?" campaign, where they encouraged college students to drink beer instead of milk. PETA even claimed that beer is healthier than milk in their effort to prevent harming cows and their precious udders (but did they "fight" to get them cows hammered 24/7? Noooo!). They even sent out promotional bottle openers with the slogan "Drink Responsibly. Don't Drink Milk."

Predictably, pretty much everybody lol'd at the idea that liver-damaging, brain-killing beer was healthier than delicious milk, and MADD wasn't too happy that they were promoting the idea of becoming borderline alcoholics/binge drinking to students, so PETA scrapped the campaign.

When this backfired, they replaced the idea of drinking cow's milk with drinking human milk. Many declined.

BTW PETA, cowpox makes you invulnerable to a much more awesome disease called smallpox.

Also, cows enjoy being milked.

Thanks to Colbert, we now know the gentle nature of PETA supporters.

Timothy McVeigh

Timothy McVeigh, the guy who was blowing up buildings full of innocent people (before it became cool) was on death row in 2001. PETA was retarded enough to send a letter to the jail's warden requesting the remainder of McVeigh's meals be vegetarian.

   
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"Please don't let Timothy McVeigh be responsible for the death of even one more living being."
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—Butthurt letter from PETA.

McVeigh responds!

Look, the guy was a deranged lunatic who killed over a hundred people, but he's not fucking retarded enough to agree with PETA. McVeigh replied with a letter pwning PETA, proving that even people who are literally insane aren't insane enough for PETA's bullshit.

   
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"Truth is, I understand your cause - I've seen slaughter houses myself - but I still believe in reasonable taking and eating of game (as an outdoorsman and hunter)... I cannot sustain a prolonged intellectual debate on the subject as my time is short, but I'd suggest hitting Ted Kaczynski up for his opinions on the subject. [...] Where do you draw the line and what standard is used to define that line? Those that are in it for the health benefits accept poultry and fish as edible. Where do those opposed to suffering stand? (Ever see a fish struggling out of water?) What about grubs/worms/etc.? And finally, plants are alive too, they react to stimuli (including pain); have circulation systems, etc. So how about them?"
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—Tim McVeigh, killer of 168 people: too sane for PETA

Web Games

Super Tofu Boy as depicted by the Super Meat Boy developers

PETA has also developed and released several completely fucktarded, protest-oriented games on their peta2 website. Among these include a Mario Bros. knockoff that villainizes Kentucky Fried Chicken and turns the Colonel into some kind of satanic demon wielding a bloody butcher knife, a Cooking Mama game where you graphically decapitate, stuff, and roast a delicious Thanksgiving turkey, and a game where you go on a vandalism spree as a little woodland creature with a can of spray paint. There's also a parody of the indie platformer Super Meat Boy starring his counterpart, "Tofu Boy". It's really amazing that trolls this great are such complete faggots.

What makes these shitty flash knockoffs even worth noting is that game developers have actually reacted to them. Majesco, the company who makes Cooking Mama, released an "interview" with a fictional character, pointing out that more then half of the meals in their games were vegetarian-friendly, effectively disproving PETA's meat-obsessing accusations. Team Meat, the developers behind Super Meat Boy, not only posted a lulzy blog entry bashing PETA and pointing out that meat boy isn't made of meat, but they actually added PETA's Tofu Boy character as a playable character in their game, intentionally making him an unplayable piece of shit

   
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"How many Peta members does it take to change a lightbulb?.... None, Peta can't change anything."
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—Edmund from Team Meat, stating the obvious

Your Daddy Kills Animals

Sadly lacking in any form of logic or reason, a common tactic for PETA is to scare children into becoming vegetarians.

The heart-warming lesson of this pamphlet is that if your father has ever gutted a fish, taken a ride on a horse, or stroked the cat, then he is sadistic killer in the making - meaning you are next on his list. If you do take a look at the pamphlet, notice that the "daddy" is wearing a suit and tie while gutting fish, not exactly the proper attire. That and the crazy hat and manic face make him look like a bloodthirsty Inspector Gadget. (Go, go Gadget Big Fucking Knife!) Also, he's using a hook big enough to catch swordfish. His gutting technique is completely fucked up as well. You're supposed to lay the fish down on a flat surface and humanely cut the head off, spinal cord first if you can't put it in a creel and wait for it to die. Asians, however, love fish heads, so they would simply rip the fish's guts out.



Sea Kittens

Looks like she's enjoying it.

PETA's latest mind-numbing campaign already has its very own article. The word "fish" should be replaced with the words "sea kittens."

In the spirit of things, in September 2008 a woman painted herself silver and suspended herself in the air with hooks through her back to protest shark fishing. Although not directly connected to PETA, we will blame them anyway. Cause we're cool like that.

We Love You so Much We'll have to Kill You . . .

  • Fact: Out of the 1,997 animals that PETA "rescued" in 2007, 1,815 were killed (>90%). Doesn't sound very ethical, does it?
  • Fact:. PETA has killed at least 21,339 animals as of the end of 2008. Very nice!

PETA's against animal shelters because they keep the animals in cages. I guess euthanizing the animals is "ethical treatment", but caging them isn't.

PETA is against the very idea of humans keeping animals as pets, and honestly believes that pet animals are literally better off dead (people who like to use the word "literally" to mean "figuratively" are welcome to look it up at this point). The systematic, large-scale slaughter of pets in PETA animal "shelters" is the opposite of hypocrisy - it's an act of people who truly believe in the rightness of what they are doing and are prepared to kill in the name of those beliefs.

Save the Hambeasts

When lolcows collide.

For the summer of 2009, PETA took aim at a particularly vulnerable trolling target, putting up billboards of a bikini-clad fatass and the slogan "SAVE THE WHALES. LOSE THE BLUBBER. GO VEGETARIAN." Predictably, feminist porkers all over the internets flew into a massive, quaking Jell-O mold rage, infuriated by the implication that their six-KFC-buckets-a-day diet might not be entirely healthy and morally defensible.

This represents a potentially wise change of direction for PETA, as they have finally found an opponent even more hypersensitive, irrational, and generally lulzy than they are. Just as long as nobody notices that the fattest animals are typically mostly vegetarian, and those species that eat primarily other animals are the leanest. It's true, vegetation is a food source with wildly varying nutrient content. Relying on only vegetation for food means needing to store enough nutrients to outlast the seasons.••• And enough fat to store it all away in. Animals that eat other animals just don't need all that extra storage space. Herbivore meat is made primarily of the same molecular parts as a meat eater. Burn the extra fat for energy to catch more.

•••Unless you live somewhere where everything grows throughout most of the year. (Or at least within driving distance for an interstate trucker.) Of course, with so many yummy choices around, a vegetarian in California is likely to get fat anyways. Srsly - in most of coastal Southern California, kids grow up having to clear the damned avocados out of the yard before trying to make buck mowing lawns. No shit, true story. Why do you think almost every vegan homeless religious nut flocked there in the 1970s? Hey all you bums, California's full of free food. Hurry! Go eat it up before they mix it with sand and make clean coal in the microwave. Because the last thing the world needs is carbon-neutral clean coal from California!!! There are much more important things to worry about in politics, like...

Hambeasts doing things like getting rich while convincing people they don't deserve to eat meat, or saving a bunch of animals on camera, then having them disposed of by professionals!

It is worth noting that Danny DeVito is a very strict vegetarian, and has been for several years. And just look how fucking fat he is!

Seal Hunt

Not that anybody gives a shit about Canada. Nobody, that is, but PETA, who have tried their hardest to ban seal hunting in Canada, which is the only way Canadians can survive in the cold hard winter, eh? Anyway, in a desperate attempt to increase ratings, some faggot radio station decided to shove a pie in one of the PETA member's face.

Looks like that fat bitch have already eaten one too many pies. (video baleeted)

Snail Stomping

How would PETA react to the senseless and brutal-killing of retarded molluscs? Let's find out by showing it to one of those fundie-fuck animal lovers! (LOL video Bawwwwwleted due to nudity and sexual content).

PETA asks Obama not to pardon turkeys on Thanksgiving

In all seriousness, PETA wants Obama to NOT pardon two turkeys called Cobbler and Gobbler, Jesus or Barrabas style, because

   
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It makes light of the mass slaughter of some 46 million gentle, intelligent birds and portrays the United States' president as being in some sort of business partnership with the turkey-killing industry. Turkeys do not need to be 'pardoned'-they are not guilty of anything other than being born into a world of prejudice. They are innocents who should be respected for who they are: good mothers, smart birds, and interesting animals.
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—Ingrid Newkirk, president of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.

According to Newkirk's logic, since we acknowledge African-American's have rights, we need to acknowledge our Thanksgiving Dinner has rights.

If that isn't fucking stupid enough, the year before this bullshit, they wanted the president to use the word "spare", instead of "pardon", as if a change in wording was somehow going to make what was actually going on any damned different.

Needless to say, the White House is planning to ignore these retards, even hardcore vegans think PETA is being fucking ridiculous, and whatever turkey isn't pardoned is going to eaten for Thanksgiving.

Parodies

PETA
In 1995, Mike Doughney, an early Web 1.0 troll, registered the peta.org domain name. He then put up a site with cooking recipes called "People Eating Tasty Animals", filled with parodies of PETA and veiled references to their politics.

PETA flipped their shit. They contacted the InterNIC in 1996 and demanded that the peta.org domain name be transferred to them. The InterNIC placed the peta.org domain on hold pending an investigation, before finally granting PETA the domain name in 2001 after deciding Mike was squatting and diluting their trademark.


PWEETA
PWEETA (People Who Enjoy Eating Tasty Animals) simultaneously mocks both PETA and meat-eaters by promoting both the consumption of animal flesh and cannibalism.

   
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Are you aware of the conditions on factory farms?


PWEETA feels factory work is better left to qualified humans rather than to animals whose time is better spent fattening up than operating complicated machinery.
 

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—Particularly since they have no thumbs.

   
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Have you ever personally experienced an alternative diet (vegetarian, fruitarian, etc.)?


I have dabbled in what people call "cannibalism" as it is practiced on the island of Borneo. Islanders eat their dead in a literal communion with their spirits. Bt eating the deceased's essence, we gain their strength. And wisdom. The cannibalism of the islands is NOT murder, and neither is consumption of an animal raised for food.
 

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—And it's not rape if they're dead.

   
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Q. Do you know any reasons to NOT eat meat?


No. Meat is for everyone: young, old, rich or poor. Even if you're wretched, there's always some sort of edible flesh around - a rat, cats, roaches, your own foot...
 

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—Feet taste terrible.

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Hilarious Hypocrisy

In a move that shouldn't surprise anyone who knows about PETA, in 1998, two years after filing suit against a man squatting on their domain name, PETA themselves registered the domains RINGLINGBROTHERS.COM and VOGUEMAGAZINE.COM and put up sites criticizing the circus' treatment of animals and the magazine's printing of fur ads. Eventually, both Ringling Brothers and Vogue contacted PETA, and PETA caved, handing over both URL's. Fucking pussies

Fun Facts

This section is factual.

Fact Cat has verified that every single fact below is real and authentic. We cannot make this shit up.

Luckily, most of them were badly gored shortly after

Fun Quotes

Error creating thumbnail: File missing
PETA member saluting animals.
   
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Humans have grown like a cancer. We're the biggest blight on the face of the earth.
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—Coming from the same person who compares pig farming to the holocaust

   
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I openly hope that it [Foot and Mouth disease] comes here. It will bring economic harm only for those who profit from giving people heart attacks and giving animals a concentration camp-like existence. It would be good for animals, good for human health and good for the environment.
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—Ingrid Newkirk, Because pain is gain?

   
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That the meat of my body, or a portion thereof, be used for a human barbecue... my skin, or a portion thereof, be removed and made into leather products... my feet be removed and umbrella strands or other ornamentation be made from them... my eyes be removed, mounted and delivered to the administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency...
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—Ingrid on how batshit insane she is

   
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I am not a morose person, but I would rather not be here. I don’t have any reverence for life, only for the entities themselves. I would rather see a blank space where I am. This will sound like fruitcake stuff again but at least I wouldn't be harming anything.
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—Ingrid Newkirk, srsly

   
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Six million people died in concentration camps, but six billion broiler chickens will die this year in slaughterhouses.
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—Ingrid Newkirk

   
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Even if animal tests produced a cure for AIDS, we’d be against it.
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—Ingrid Newkirk, on how much of a fucktard she is

   
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If a girl gets sexual pleasure from riding a horse, does the horse suffer? If not, who cares? If you French kiss your dog and he or she thinks it's great, is it wrong? We believe all exploitation and abuse is wrong. If it isn't exploitation and abuse, it may not be wrong.
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—Ingrid Newkirk, President of People PERVERTS for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, and a furry

   
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We are complete press sluts.
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—We at ED did not make that up - that's Ingrid Newkirk

   
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I don't use the word 'pet.' I think it's specieist language. I prefer 'companion animal.' For one thing, we would no longer allow breeding ... as the surplus of cats and dogs declined, eventually companion animals would be phased out, and we would return to a more symbiotic relationship - enjoyment at a distance.
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—Ingrid Newkirk in 1988, trolling pet-owners, ignoring the fact that cats self-domesticated, and being fucking ridiculous.

   
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The people in those slaughterhouse videos torturing animals PeTA shows are PeTA members doing the torturing to the animals.
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—Anonymous

   
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Göring also banned commercial animal trapping, imposed severe restrictions on hunting, and regulated the shoeing of horses. He imposed regulations even on the boiling of lobsters and crabs. In one incident, he sent a fisherman to a concentration camp[12] for cutting up a bait frog.[10]
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—Wikipedia, on Hermann Göring of the German National Socialist Party displaying PETA-like behavior

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Games

Test your terrorist skills by playing the awesome Fur Fighters right now... high scores save skins.

See external links below for moar.

Fur

Fur is the old name given by pron directors to pubic hair. Even in Hollywood for years a "glimpse of fur" was what every aspiring film maker hoped to capture from nubile young starlets. Wikipedia lists the type of fur as [1];

  • Natural/Bush
  • Trimmed
  • Triangle
  • Landing strip
  • Toothbrush mustache
  • Brazilian waxing/G-wax
  • Full-Brazilian/Hollywood/Bare/Bald Beaver/Bald eagle
  • Fauxhawk
  • Mohawk
  • Dyed hair
  • The Butch/The Bull
  • Others

However now that fur is banned, everybody gets totally depilated to look more like underage loli.

Gallery

Gallery Of PETAss About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Contact

Suggestions are always welcome.
This is already on their UK website, so it's fair game.

If you want to support PETA's antics, please feel free to contact them: Tel: +44 (0) 207 3579229 ext. 221
Fax: +44 (0) 207 357 0901
Email: [email protected]
Address: P.O. Box 36668 , London , SE1 1WA
Website: PETA.org.uk

And their US contact

Tel: 757-622-PETA (7382)
Fax: 757-622-0457
Address 501 Front St., Norfolk, VA 23510

See Also

External Links

Just support your local Humane Society...
...They're the ones who actually stop shit like this from happening.
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