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LoveShy
"Love-shy" is a special term for social anxiety disorder, a massive victim complex, and a possible hatred of all women. It's not recognized as a legitimate diagnosis by anyone except for Dr. Brian Gilmartin, who's a fucking idiot relegated to teaching college out in rural Montana since his crazy book about this shit got him fired.
People who call themselves "Love-shy" are making an excuse for why no human being wants to talk to them, let alone fuck them. "Love-Shy" men avoid all possibility of rejection, because they have ceased any attempt to relate to other humans. This allows them to stay exactly the same, but thanks to Love-Shy, they get attention and pity from strangers on the internet which makes up for the fact that real people don't like them.
Love Shy: The Book
In 1987 Dr. Brian Gilmartin interviewed 300 extremely shy men, adult virgins, or something about their hopes, dreams, fears, and aspirations. Although Social Anxiety Disorder, shyness, social phobias, depression, Asspurger's syndrome, autism, and a whole slew of other non-imaginary psychological conditions are recognized and treatable, Dr. Gilmartin thought up a new term for their neurotic bullshit: Love-shyness.
Gilmartin suggested that none of the Love-shies' problems were their fault: their virginity was caused by society, mom and dad, football, genetics, and astrology. Gilmartin denied that the antidote to this problem was: 1.) talking to other human beings and 2.) seeking help from therapists, psychologists, or psychiatrists. Instead of a logical and sane path to not failing at life, he suggested that football be outlawed because football teams were guerrilla training camps for bullies, that shy people should get helper animals like blind people, that sex selection by aborting male fetuses could help shy men cope with fatherhood by not having to raise boys, and that shy people should become militant activists and picket with signs that literally described them as cowards.
In his research Gilmartin had also found sick fucks who fucked department store manikins, dogs, and their own shit:
"Specifically, from the time this man had been a child he had always
had a strong sexual fascination with his bowel movements, especially when they "come out real long and soft". And on those occasions when he had a bowel movement of the "right" feeling and texture—an event which he claimed happened only about once every couple of months— he would become "uncontrollably aroused" from a sexual standpoint. Using vegetable oil "to enhance the effect", he would roll the bowel movement around in his hands, sometimes for several hours; and he would enjoy several ejaculations while in the process of doing this. He would save his "nicer poopoos" in plastic bags, sometimes for several days. And at several points during this time span he would pick his bowel movement out of the plastic bag and begin getting sexually recharged again. During the course of this behavior he would fantasize being with a "really beautiful young girl" who had "long hair and a pretty face" and who "also liked long, soft, beautiful oozie- goozies".
Love Shy: The Other Book
Talmer Shockley ,wrote a book called The Love-shy Survival Guide, which got him fired from his job as a "high tech researcher". He has also diagnosed himself with Asperger's. The Love-shy Survival Guide apparently says you should become Chris-chan or something by boosting your "attractiveness sphere."
Talmer has a website where he offers semi-decent advice, like brushing your teeth, having a job and not living in a disgusting cave full of garbage if you ever want to have sex with women. He tells you to fuck up your life a little more by finding a therapist who believes that "Love Shy" is a real disorder, and to wave the book in her face if she doesn't believe you. "She" being the operative word, for this must be a female therapist. Apparently, talking to a girl they like terrifies Love-Shy men, yet they have no trouble whatsoever telling their darkest secrets to a chick shrink. Talmer then suggests that you get the therapist to diagnose you with lots of other stuff so you can be even more special and have more things to baww about.
Am I Love-Shy?
Are you:
- A virgin?
- Afraid of showering?
- A frequenter of /b/?
- Boiling over with hatred for women?
- Friendless?
- Convinced that it's not you who's at fault, but society?
If you have answered yes to more than one of these questions, you are indeed love shy. It is now time for you to take the necessary actions to solve the problem, but if you are too cowardly then you can always join the Love Shy forum!
Love-Shy.com
The Love Shy forums are a containment zone for concentrated fail, where batshit insane fucktards run wild and talk about hating women, raping women, killing women, and George Sodini, a 50-year-old virgin who they all think is awesome because he shot a bunch of women. Some of them like to write cool essays about rape or how God Hates Fags. They're universally butthurt about circumcision beyond all logic and reason, and a bunch of them are atheists. The moderators are worse. 110% of the Love-Shy forums are idiots bitching about their easily-solved personal problems instead of doing something about it. The more you read, the more obvious it becomes that none of them want to change.
Here's a brief rundown about the people who inhabit the Love-shy forum. They're racist, sexist homophobes, the lot of them, and they're deeply unpleasant people. The following are short summaries of who they are, why they in particular suck, and various information about their real identities.
Witness the Glory
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Don't laugh at LS you insensitive fuck -
Support for the Dating Challenged -
Banned for Trolling! -
Hey fellow Love-shys, maybe some pedofiles could help us out?
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How is "rape" rape? -
Tough guy -
I don't hate them because they're gay, I hate them because they're gay -
FUCK ME! or FUCK OFF! -
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Dear Love Shy: I killed my dog by masturbating. -
Camwhore -
There is a strong possibility I will end my life with a spree killing but I would not target women exclusively
Words of Wisdom
Previous Quote | Next Quote | |||||
Know Your Love Shys
Alexius
Alexius Comnenus, also known as DeafBoyTheStrangler, johnnysack, and AlexiusC. He trolls other forums and boards like WhyGodWhy.org and FSTDT.com and spams them with random gibberish about government help, wingmen, and help to get a girlfriend. Would rather die than do anything to help his situation. Also, loves to make polls. Wants the government to find him a wingmen who will approach for him because he is too lazy to it on his own. He spent some time in jail after his thread on love-shy.com about his plans to murder the current object of his obsession was reported to the authorities.
Real name is Marjan Šiklić. Is on Facebook and was stupid enough to put Love-shyness as one of his interests. Of course there are many Croatians from Zagreb in their early 20s who are obsessed with Love-shyness and have a love-shy member already on their friend list. To see for yourself Google search, "Love shyness" site:http://www.facebook.com/people/
Marjan Šiklić wrote threats on Love-shy.com. He threatened that he would buy a weapon and that he would kill his ex-girlfriend and then himself. Luckily, the Zabreb police arrested him. Original and the English translation and the link.
Alexius's various accounts and threads all over the internets:
- He wasn't stalking her (Alexius as Languid Schizoid)
- I feel like stalking her
- I feel like I'm going insane
- how to get over her?
- I am a complete wreck
- Falling apart for a YEAR
- Sad boy XXL / Tuzni djecak XXL
.
Cenobite
mikey, real name, Michael James Nicholls. Mikey is a fat, 45 year old, ugly, stupid, needy, future-version of Chris Chan who feels mistreated by society because he is an authentic nice guy who will be dying alone. He will only get sex by prostitution or his hand. He is the mascot of love-shy and epitome of fail and because of this he is fiercely protected. By the time you have read this paragraph he would have already posting about killing himself.
- Email: [email protected]
- Myspace: Mike the Doc
- Facebook: Michael James Nicholls
- Location: The English Midlands
- Read and Weep
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Coby
— J. Mills |
- Spent over $3000.00 on a sorry-looking hair transplant at the age of 20 which made the front of my heasd look like an un-attended rice paddock (thank god, after wearing this hairstyle for 9 years I had the deceny of mid to shave it all off, which left me with these horribly big scars across the back of my head), and over $2500.00 on a course to meet and be more confident with women, which after over approaching over 1000 women I haven't managed to find the woman of my dreams yet (nor i believe has any other guy who took the course wih me).
Advanced
Just Jack, (later renamed himself "Advanced" to try to be cool). Just Jack has the noble ambition of topping Michael Jackson as a walking, talking, plastic-surgery-scarred human disaster. This guy's real problem is body dysmorphic disorder (where you believe you're ugly despite what anyone says and all evidence to the contrary), and being a goddamn Otakin (where he wants to be a character from fucking anime). Plastic surgery forum enthusiasts have also diagnosed him with Histrionic Personality Disorder. Has put a lot of thought into this and has a list of 7-12 plastic surgeries, and apparently has this all budgeted and partially saved up for. Has already had a nose job, and has a list of plastic surgeons in the US and Southeast Asia who don't give a fuck if you kick in the door and scream, "turn me into Sailor Moon!" On Love-shy, he makes up long, crazy stories where he verbally confronts or fights people, but still can't get the girl in his fantasies. You know how after you're pissed off at someone, an hour later you come up with the perfect, biting comeback (or just yelling "fuck" a lot) that you could have said but didn't? Just Jack posts that shit like it actually happened, giving the impression that his life is full of him kicking ass and calling people COCKWHORES. Has 1,000 posts on a plastic surgery forum, where people who really, really like plastic surgery say he's crazy. And a couple of them give him names of doctors. Uses his encyclopedic knowledge of plastic surgery for good, rather than evil, by being a fairly productive and useful poster on this forum. Usually posts as "e3323" but doxes himself by invariably posting his contact info everywhere he goes and links back to his other accounts. Was called e3323 on Love-shy for a brief period, but Rammspieler banned this as a duplicate account because he really likes banning people that much, as it's the closest thing to real authority (...or a job) that he'll ever do.
- Aliases: Just Jack, e3323, advanced, advanced1, chansey0071, advanced1987, solid_snake_e3323, e33231, gouki23, yatterman1.
- AIM: chansey0071
- MSN: [email protected]
- YAHOO: [email protected]
- Location: Willingboro, New Jersey
- OkCupid, PoF: gouki23
- Name: Sean P. Scott
I paid a girl $350 to cuddle for FOUR HOURS, proof
I am a lonely desperate 21 year old heterosexual male
e_i-2
Emptyinside (later renamed himself "e_i" to look edgy or something) is a Canadian moderator on Love Shy who stalks women at The University of Vancouver and keeps notepad documents detailing their every movement. He masturbates 6-7 times a day, keeps detailed files of how he does it, and sees nothing weird about that, and prefers masturbation to having friends. He describes himself as 5'8" and 230 lbs and wears Transitions lenses. Once bought a $1500 necklace for his stalker crush, but just keeps it in a drawer next to him while he masturbates. Has detailed dreams about raping this woman and likes to tell people about it on the Internets. (As of now he has actually en masse edited all his posts!). Real name Robert Purvis.
Eduard Limonov
Rammspieler is a 30-year-old man in love with the Columbine shooters who listens to goth music all day and runs a shitty Maddox style website where he signs half of his posts as "Doom" and posts videos of himself threatening people with a toy gun. His sister had to help him with the video because Rammspieler is too incompetent to aim a video camera (let alone a gun). He has been on four dates in his entire life, and is "terrified of all human contact." He is also Puerto Rican and hates Puerto Ricans. He changed his account name to "Arthur Schopenhauer" and "Eduard Limonov" because he is paranoid. So here's a screencap of his Facebook page and his IP address, obtained when he tried to anonymously vandalize the now-defunct Love-shy Wiki to remove the picture on the right. Fun facts: Rammspieler has never held a job and dropped out of college after 7 years of doing jack shit. He feels emasculated because he lives with him mom, sister and grandmother and his only release is listening to a shitty German novelty metal band from the 90s.
fschmidt
Fschmidt, real name Franklin Richard Schmidt, is a 49-year-old man who writes essays about rape where he compares rapists to Robin Hood says that American women are WORSE THAN THE NAZIS and deserve to be raped. He posts this under Fschmidt on the forums and co-founded a company called NexTag in 1998, an internet company whose "business model didn't make sense". His other hobby is doxxing the shit out of himself by putting his home address on the internet. He runs his own forums called the CoAlpha Brotherhood, which suggests that fat losers try to seduce married women. Is married to Lina H Schmidt, a former Mexican who only married this huge piece of shit for a green card and does not love him. Before he got married he would blow all his dot-com money on hookers every week. Claims to have moved to El Paso, but is probably lying about this. He likes to post that he's "not afraid to fight people IRL" but if you call him on this he will come up with a bullshit excuse like moving out of the country. He admits on Love-shy that if he ever actually fought someone he would secretly bring mace because he's unable to defend himself.
- Skype: franklin_schmidt
- Email: [email protected]
- Amazon profile
picky picky picky
Mesian, picky picky, picky picky picky. Seriously. Literally thinks victims of domestic abuse had it coming. Hates the gays, especially when they're faggoting up his PSTripple games. He is a conservative Christian and French Canadian from Quebec City, Quebec
Seb
Seb'. 42-year-old accountant who lives in Australia. Unemployed as of 2009 because the pretty girls took all the accounting jobs, leaving him with none. Not a virgin, but that's only 'cos of the hookers. Psychotically obsessed with circumcision, as are most of the Love-shies. Has spent quite a bit of money on Pick-Up Artist stuff, unsuccessfully. Still bitter about it. Also hates his MEA (Middle East appearance. Real name Sebastian.
- Aliases: sebazio3333
- Location: Sydney, NSW, Australia
- Email: [email protected]
- Name: Sebastian
The Doctor
The Doctor (aka, jrcsalter, John Salter and J R C Salter). Real name John Salter. This guy lives with his parents and two younger brothers in a small village outside of Exeter, England. Works as one of two chefs in a local pub, where he's trolled IRL by happy couples and unhappy couples and people with friends talking to each other and living life. The other chef apparently hates him, and John can't fathom why. He's extremely jealous of his brother and his brother's girlfriend, especially when they fuck in the house, which causes Tarantino-style anger in John. He is 24 or 25 years old, but looks to be in his early 30s. Is overweight or obese due to his mom's habit of baking cakes every day. Cannot drive a car and relies on a tiny moped to get around, which will greatly limit his future career as a serial killer. Met journalist Amy Turner in a bar to discuss Love-shyness. Broke down sobbing and couldn't finish his hamburger. Still says creepy things about the skirt she wore that day.
- Birthday: Nov 14
- Location: City of Exeter, County of Devon, England
Ethnocide
Ethnocide. Ethnocide is a homophobe. Like all extremely vocal homophobes, wants to wrap his moist lips around another man's throbbing cock and such him dry while a gaggle of other men clad in nothing but steel cock rings and leather daddy caps fill his eye sockets with cum. Probably beating off thinking about this sort of thing right now. Has a fascination with nearly naked men, the male physique and mixed martial arts. Has admitted to using the Love-shy forum for entertainment purposes and he probably uses other forums, such as bodybuilding forums, to upload homoerotic photographs where he caresses his muscles.
- Ethnicity: Scottish
- Size: 6'1, 220lbs
- Location: Fort McMurray, Alberta, Canada
- Occupation: Oil
The simple solution
Whores, my friend. Whores. Not "cam whores" or "attention whores". Whores. The real thing. Just be careful to make a budget and stick to it.
Links
Love shy catch (A mirror appears!)
FSTDT search board: love-shy
See also
