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Alexis Pilkington Syndrome
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The Alexis Pilkington Syndrome is declared CURED as her so-called friends decided to delete the memorial tribute page! |
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Alexis Pilkington Syndrome is was an attention whoring disorder that is characterized by trolling a dead teen girl named Alexis Pilkington whose memorial tribute page on Facebook was created by her so-called friends. According to her family and close friends, Alexis Sky Pilkington or known as Lexi apparently are very upset about the trolling. It was confirmed that these attention whores also troll on her Formspring when she was alive and was possibly the cause for her death. No one knows for sure. The Alexis Pilkington Syndrome could also mean everything that's wrong with the Internets as the victim du jour for anti-cyber bullying activists. The Facebook memorial page for Alexis was the Internets' most popular destination for memorial page tourism until the creators decided to not feed the attention whores by deleting the page altogether.
According to the attention whores, Alexis accidentally died in March 2010 from autoerotic asphyxiation and then became IRL and Internet famous as a retroactive victim to griefers from ebaums who mercilessly trolled her memory OTI. The anti-cyber bullying activists confirmed how Alexis died which was hanging. Her Facebook page gained notability for the vicious trolling it took post-mortem -a trolling her parents, Thomas and Paula exacerbated by going national to discuss the cyber bullies who had already fucked with her albeit minimally on formspring.
Paula did not actually know what a troll was before Alexis died because unlike losers like Megan Meier who are asking for it, Lexi wasn't particularly unpopular. It was only after her self-pwnage that her mom was made painfully aware that a troll is -amongst other things- someone who is a heartless, remorseless "emotional terrorist" who uses bananas as a weapon.
The Real Story from her family
—Alexis Pilkington's loving family, Mom, Dad and Jared | ||
Alexis's history as told by the attention whores
—Sarah Simpson, Facebook | ||
Prior to her real issue surfacing, Alexis was a fairly normal popular girl who had been sent to counseling for "normal teen issues" like occasionally cutting class and incomplete homework. Oh yeah, and an unhealthy obsession with David Carradine, INXS and autoerotic asphyxiation. Clearly, her actual problem was her parents and she was only 'troubled' in the sense that she came from a disfunctional family who thought that hating school wasn't normal teenage behaviour. Plus, imagine having a cop as a dad. Cops are as dickish to their kids as they are to perps; maybe more-so because they patrol them and their bedrooms 24/7. Fuck that shit...kids are gonna be kids.
To her parents, she was a happy, beautiful and brilliant kid with unlimited potential who was on her way to graduating early and a perfect, fulfilling happy life filled with success and riches. However, in reality, teens who graduate early are usually those who hate school and want to GTFO as soon as possible so they can leave home and their horrible, overbearing coddling parents who relentlessly push their kids to be all the things that they could never hope to be or achieve.
According to friends, Alexis not only hated school and her parents but couldn't take the pressure of being the "good kid" so she decided to graduate life early without leaving a suicide note. However, she did leave something: hours of amusement for ebaums and employment to dozens of pundits and Internets experts who swarm the the 24/7 newscycle to enlighten shocked and appalled viewers and concerned parents.
Ironically Alexis Pilkington will be remembered not for anything she did or didn't do in her young life, but for the extensive legacy and impressive body of work she leaves behind in the field of trolling OTI and IRL but moar importantly in Schadenfreude -the concept that lulz at the expense of others is not only a natural human condition but actually good for you.
Apart from that, as an organ donor, Alexis leaves behind her pert, tight little soccer player derriere for scientists to experiment on in the ongoing search for a soothing balm for those with chronic, persistent viral butthurt -most of whom are her so-called 'friends':selfish attention whoring shrill lolcows who have ensured that Alexis Pilkington will never be forgotten as a drama-generating technique and eternally e-famous as a search result in the age of Google.
The Trolling
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RIP-Alexis-Pilkington: I made a AIM account and her REAL FRIENDS can im it and write a memory or something to her. INCLUDE YOUR NAME! I am going to print out the im's and make a book with all the memories and give it to her parents and give copies with pictures and such to close friends ♥ the aim is - alexispilkington - |
Whilst still in the land of the living, Alexis was minorly butthurt over some flaming she took on her formspring account but dealt with it by deleting the offending questions and thenceforth, refused to play the game, knowing full-well that you can maintain the upper hand if you don't feed the trolls.
—lexiskye17 | ||
Her moron friends, however, weren't as Internets savvy and turned an otherwise boring, cliched, smalltown self-pwning/sexytime experiment gone awry into a major media shitstorm in an otherwise slow news cycle.
This, in turn, set the blogosphere afire and caught the attention of the INTERNET HATE MACHINE, whose vigilant young men take such matters very seriously and decided that such madness was a "teachable moment" for concerned parents everywhere. Indeed, Lexi's mother got the message loud and clear: friends don't lets friends drive the information superhighway, drunk on USI.
—Paula Pilkington, mother | ||
Other clued-in memorial page tourists, also thanked Anon:
—Aki Mutsumi, Facebook | ||
But it was too late for Lexi's so-called friends who ignored the writing on the wall and continued to allow comments on their memorial page including expressions of pleasure over the death, with pictures of what seemed to be a banana as their profile pictures.
—Joe InternLovebuzz Randazzo, Facebook |
Meanwhile, Lexi's dad, a New York City cop (who obviously knows a thing or two about the law), was not in synch with his wife and is threatening legal action against the Internets.
—Thomas Pilkington, father | ||
Good luck with that Tom. You'd have moar luck suing her retarded, self-serving 'friends' instead. Long Island is full of rich white people who you can mine for jewgolds for what?...a fancy new headstone for your only child? A child you may as well have tied the noose for with all your bad parenting?
Trolling YouTube Comments
ilovetwijonas — 23 March 2010 — ALL RUDE COMMENTS WILL BE DELETED. THIS IS NOT THE PLACE TO TALK CRAP ABOUT SOMEONE WHO RECENTLY PASSED AWAY. Thank you. Of course, it never occurred to the lolcow who made this vidya that you can disable comments.
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See Also
Links
- Daily News report
- Lexi's Story: what really happened
- "The anti-cyber bullying activists confirmed the hanging".
- Official Facebook Page *Baleeted
- Alexis Pilkington Hang in there! Facebook Group *Baleeted
- twitter for the Alexis Project
- Alexis Skye "Lexi" Pilkington at Find a Grave
- Her stupid parents think suicide is a mental illness
- Thomas Pilkington's legal threat to the trolls
- 'Scarewarez' hax0rs exploit death for jewgolds
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Alexis Pilkington Syndrome is part of a series on Visit the Whores Portal for complete coverage. |
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Alexis Pilkington Syndrome is part of a series on Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage. |