Barron Trump: Difference between revisions

Revision as of 20:47, 25 January 2017

This person has Assburgers Syndrome,
so you can't say anything bad! :-(

Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.

Barron Trump is US overlord Donald Trump's youngest son, and the future host of The Apprentice. He was only 10 when The Great Meme War won The Donald the presidential election, but as of late, he's been making more headlines than all the other Trumps aside from The Don himself, including the lovely Ivanka.

Autism Awareness

The internet began to speculate that Barron may have autism after he was seen acting strangely during his father's presidential speeches. Not that it's hard to believe that a ten-year-old would be exhausted and bored out of his mind at a boring speech given by an old man at 3am or anything, but bizarre facial expressions and other factors seemed to suggest there was something more to it than that.

Rosie O'Donnell

Rosie O'Donnell is credited as being the first to ignite the flames of controversy, when the pumpkin-headed lesbian sent out a tweet which included a video she had come across on Reddit allegedly proving that Barron was autistic. She claimed her tweet was made in defense of autism awareness, but the rest of the world saw it for what it was, a low blow directed at the president-elected man she's made countless "bad comb-over" jokes about over the years, achieved by attacking his possibly autistic ten-year-old son. The plan backfired, and the entire world had yet another reason to hate Rosie O'Donnell as a result.

She would still succeed in a way. With the fire set, the internet picked up on the rumors and speculation and began to fan the flames of drama, and news reports and videos began popping up everywhere with the scoop that Barron was the first autistic First Son in the White House.

Some Chick from SNL

A writer from SNL, Katie Rich (now Katie Poor), was fired for tweeting out that Barron Trump would be America's first homeschool shooter. Not knowing how the internet works, she first tried deleting the tweet, then deactivating her account. When that failed, she reactivated her account and attempted to apologize for the hurting the poor feelings of the alt-right. But she was quickly eaten by her own crew of social justice warriors and sensitive conservative snowflakes who quickly condemned her name to the fiery gates of hell for making a joke. The entire premise of the joke is absurd, as it is America, of course there have been homeschool shootings before. Yes, dear old Jesse Osborne was being homeschooled before shooting his dad/teacher and then going to the nearest school and only killing one more.

PewDiePie

YouTube's most popular Swedish meatball also took a jab at the boy by sending out a tweet on January 22nd captioned "this is why you should stay home and play Minecraft" with a gif of Barron seeming to not understand how a high five works, as well as having the most delayed reaction to missing it ever.

Followers were quick to strike back by reminding PewDiePie how comparably cringe-worthy his failed handshake with Conan O'Brien on national television was. But it's clear that PewDiePie is drunk on attention from the recent "DEATH TO ALL JEWS" controversy he caused with fiverr and is doing everything he can to remain relevant and in the spotlight.

Trump's Response

Barron's loud-mouthed president father comes to his aid.

The Donald is yet to make a public comment or executive order about the rumors floating around about his youngest son having autism. For now he's letting his wife condemn the accusations and shut down the videos as they appear while he talks about China and other political stuff.

Trump has said that Barron is good with computers, and Melania has said he enjoys math and science, prefers to play alone, and keeps his room perfectly clean. While most people would argue that this is a symptom of a nerd, virgin, or loser, the internet is saying that it must be autism. Trump also had Barron when he was 60 years old, which, aside from proving that he's still got it in his old age, is linked to dooming children with mental disorders such as autism.

Leave Barron Alone!

Melania Trump has promised to fight internet bullying as First Lady, especially bullying geared toward children. She immediately put this plan into action by forcing YouTube to delete all the mean videos debating whether or not her son had autism, which of course resulted in mirrors of it popping up in defiance, causing her to play a seemingly never-ending game of whack-a-mole with trolls and concerned Americans alike.

Here's a mirror of the video she keeps deleting, which has the same "in defense of autism awareness and against bullying" tone of Rosie O'Donnell's now-deleted tweet which included a link to it. It will likely be deleted at the time of you reading this article.

The video was originally posted on Reddit after a user pointed out all the alleged evidence proving that Barron was autistic, and included the vidya to back it up.

Melania has even gone so far as to threaten to sue the original poster of the above video for its content, despite it being labeled as #StopTheBullying and "stand with Melania Trump." TMZ picked up the story as well, noting that the video cited Barron's habit of "clapping his hands without slapping his hands together" as a sure sign of autism. Trump's attorney stated that Barron is NOT autistic, and that the anti-bullying video is actually bullying, and it better disappear before the person who posted it does.

Others such as Chelsea Clinton have come forward and started a LEAVE BARRON ALONE! campaign in an effort to protect Barron from trolls, anti-bullying videos, and doctors making online diagnoses of spectral disorders.