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Michelle Belanger: Difference between revisions
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[[Image:Michelle grope.JPG|thumb|right|NOTE: Even though the tits do not belong to Michelle, it IS NOT ok to fap to this.]] | [[Image:Michelle grope.JPG|thumb|right|NOTE: Even though the tits do not belong to Michelle, it IS NOT ok to fap to this.]] | ||
[[Image:Michelle spank.jpg|thumb|left|I feel like I just saw something I wasn't supposed to see...]] | [[Image:Michelle spank.jpg|thumb|left|I feel like I just saw something I wasn't supposed to see...]] |
Revision as of 09:24, 30 October 2011
This article needs moar references to A&E TV show PARANORMAL STATE. You can help by adding moar references to A&E TV show PARANORMAL STATE. |
Michelle Belanger, aka Sethanikeem, aka Puggles, aka Swamp Donkey, a self-proclaimed Transgender vampire Dominatrix, is the supposed founder and mastermind behind House Kheperu. I say 'supposed' because I wouldn't put it past her to try to steal someone else's thunder and ideas. She is well versed and edumacated, but she is also a raging attention whore. She believes herself to be one of the "first psychic vampires in existence", a physical descendant of the Nephilim (you know, those mythological figures of Christian lore that God sent the Great Flood specifically to kill? I guess God doesn't pay attention to the details and one or two got away) and a reincarnated pre-historic Egyptian priest. She made a cult, House Kheperu, to glorify these things.
Funny enough, Psychic Vampire was a phrase coined by Anton Levay and it's hardly complimentary. It refers to someone who takes and takes from you but contributes nothing, which describes Michelle, but I don't think that's how she wants people to see her.
Unlike other attention whores with delusions of grandeur, she is very articulate and charming... if you are in possession of a pussy and like to lick carpet. Though she prefers the hole to the pole, she has been known to jump in the sack with men who she believes are in possession of other worldly power, or if she simply wants to be in their good graces. Either way, she ends up trying to steal the lime light from them and either they kick her to the curb or she gets bored with them and abandons them.
Michelle likes to portray herself as an over-dramatic creature of the night, often affecting a fake accent to score cool points. She has made appearances on several television shows over the past few years, and has spoken at quite a few college campuses and book signings on the wonders that are vampirism and BDSM. She is dedicated to spreading the word about her own greatness and the greatness of the cluster fuck known as the vampire community. If she finds a couple of salivating animu fantards that will let her smack them around with a riding crop, that's also a plus.
Despite claiming to be an "expert" on vampirism and paranormal phenomena, she has no formal education or training on the subjects she speaks of. This is understandable as none of it is fucking real.
Michelle Debunked!!
Michelle and House Kheperu's spiritual beliefs
Here are some excerpts from Michelle's handbook for her cult, House Kheperu:
"The Greater Initiation involves a ritual death and rebirth which occurs on both the physical and spiritual levels for the initiate. It is visionary and shamanic in nature and forces the initiate to face himself and all that he has been within the boundaries of his own soul. Like all deaths and rebirths, this ritual strips away old identities and assumptions. The little self of this lifetime is subsumed into the greater Self, and the initiate is irrevocably changed. This rite is reserved for only the strongest minds, for any who are weak or filled with fear may not survive the initiation."
"We are predators at heart, even though we are physically indistinguishable from our prey. " Prey here refers to normal human beings.
"Feeding from the Awakened is far more rewarding, as they cultivate their energy bodies, and so the quality of energy is purer and more intense. However, feeding without permission from the Awakened runs you the risk of getting caught." Yes, she just advocated preying on other vampires and otherkin to her cult.
"Do not be misled by the juxtaposition of energy and blood. No cut or puncture is necessary for the transfer to occur. Our ways are far subtler than that. As you draw out life, you draw out a minute amount of blood with the life. Even when there is no physical contact between you and your partner, when the draw is deep enough, this will occur. For this reason, always take care in who you feed from, for a taint in their blood may carry over to you." YES, she just said you can get AIDS from being a psychic vampire!
"By tugging gently on the link with the person, you can make them think of you and draw them to you. With concentration, an especially strong link will enable you to extend your awareness completely enough so your are able to perceive through the other person's senses."
An accurate assessment on Michelle and House Kheperu
Biggest WTF Claims
- She says that if she doesn't "feed" she will fall victim to heart failure and that the practice has kept her from needing a transplant. If this is true then there are millions of people in desperate need for heart transplants that she could help. Does she though? Of course not.
- She says her name is French for "beautiful angel" to reinforce her claim that she is a living decedent of the Nephilim race, but there are no sources that confirm this. Sure, bel is beautiful and ange is angel, but her name isn't spelled Belange (even though she lies and says that's how Belanger is pronounced). She is the only member of her family to boast that this is the actual translation. It's more likely an English (or even Germanic) name than French. Also, only hack-job amateur genealogists will give you the "beautiful angel" crap. The name probably originated as Beringer if it is indeed French, which means "strong as a bear". Most sites online will tell you this bit of information. Notice how any mention of angels is absent.
- Due to "past life" experience she believes the US is heading for another depression [1]. Quite frankly, it doesn't take "an eternity old soul" to see that not just the US but the global economy was fucked in the ass by the Bush administration (really, just turn on CNN and you will see all sorts of paranoid dribble from fucking EXPERTS who don't claim they had "wing like growths" removed as a child).
- Though she now likes to claim her moniker "sethanikeem" is because if she was born male she would have been named Seth, she used to say it was because she felt a deep connection to the god of the underworld, Set. She likes to claim that "anikeem" is Ancient Egyptian for angel, but the concept of such a being is foreign to the culture. Any winged figures were representations of deities, who weren't believed to be in possession of mystical helpers.
- Since she believes she is an ancient Egyptian Priest, Michelle thinks she knows everything about the language. The truth of the matter is, she finds words that she thinks are pretty or have a "deep meaning" and then mashes them together to form a new word that "modern anthropologists don't know about because it is so old" or some other bullshit. The obvious mendacity of this dodge is indicated by its being exactly the same one used by Mormons to explain why Joseph Smith's translations of known hieroglyphs are shit. When asked to explain the words she has made up or "remembered" from her past lives, she always skirts the issue and never gives any concrete sources or definitions. Swamp Donkey's 'knowledge' doesn't only extend to the language (unable to read or understand any form of Egyptian, not to mention the same idiocy when it comes to hieroglyphs), but also to the history and archaeology of Ancient Egypt. Get a beginner's guide to Egyptian archaeology and test it out for great lulz. Of course, her hapless minions will jump to her defense, which just makes all of it more funny.
Internet Drama
Wikipedia
Michelle has taken to slandering other authors and pimping her shit on Wikipedia. Or at least she had been until the admins realized WTF she was doing. She has since been permabanned and will go on butt-hurt tirades about how they discriminated against her.
She also likes to complain that everything unflattering on her wiki page is false (including the fact she has claimed to be born with a penis in the past), but all of the information provided there has come out of her mouth in interviews and press releases.
Amazon
1. Submit negative review to any of her books.
2. Screen cap resulting shit storm by her fans.
3. ????
4. PROFIT
Recently a post was made on /x/ about Michelle's cult members stalking and threatening to rape and kill people who submitted negative reviews.
A candidate for Schizophrenia
Michelle has shown on numerous occasions that she has a hard time keeping fantasy separated from reality. She often infuses philosophy and rules from mythology she's misinterpreted, fictional books, games and movies into her cult and encourages her followers to post totally far fetched and random bullshit that to her eyes totally justify and prove her totally made up theories.
This isn't surprising though, as Michelle Belanger is just a totally absorbed and disillusioned roleplayer that took things too far. She didn't start out in the vampire community, but the LARP community. Before she started writing on "occult truths" she moderated and participated in many games.
Her ties to role-playing are evident to this day in her choice of lingo and manner of dress. Saying she dresses like Lestat's even gayer evil brother is an under statement.
It is rumored that she still participates to this day in the game, but it has been rumored that the rumor was started to defame Michelle and that she is above that childishness.
Take a look at her websites and decide for yourself.
Pagan Icon and Author
Over the years Michelle has published a number of books on the occult, vampirism and sex with angels. Most of her releases are poorly manufactured and marketed pulp novels, but in recent years she has had releases from two notable (if you're Wiccan, that is) publishers. Llewellyn and Weiser, who are known for their flaky pop-culture inspired products and shady authors who make Sylvia Browne look ethical.
Most of her erotic fiction is either self-published and purchasable online, or through random gothic back-alley publishers who are gone in a couple months. This is understandable, as no competent business person would touch her low-brow uninspired smut.
Her most notorious release is The Psychic Vampire Codex which has garnered jeers and sneers from vampires and skeptics alike due to her shameless self-promotion and gloating. There is very little information (I use this term to describe ideas other than "Michelle/House Kheperu is awesome") in this book. It's basically Michelle's tale of how she formed and liberated the vampire community (that predates her foray into LARP) and everyone there in should bow down, suck her cock, and join her cult. No, seriously.
Whoring of her writing can be found here and here. But if you don't feel like paying, follow some of these links:
- excerpt from Sacred Hunger. It's just enough to let you know what a delusional bat she is (if you had any doubts).
- excerpt from The Vampire Ritual Book. Her "real" books about the occult are almost indistinguishable from her fiction.
- The Vampire Codex, a handbook for her cult House Kheperu.
- The Psychic Vampire Codex, online edition. A great number of lulz from the printed version have been omitted.
- Her Lulu storefront is full of lulz.
Look out for This Heart of Flame where Michelle fantasizes about being a man who gets corn holed regularly.
Michelle as an entertainer
Michelle has tried her hand at modeling, singing and acting, thus giving trolls ammo and gawkers everywhere mild lulz. The fact that she has declared herself a spokes-vamp for the entire community out side of House Kheperu ensures that we have numerous lulz around Halloween when every network airs their shitty vampire specials in an attempt to scare and gross-out normal folks and give aging goths like Michelle a self-rightous hard on.
It's quite lulz worthy, if you can stand the blond chicks flat voice. Previous Video | Next Video |
OH SHIT, MICHELLE IS ON TELEVISION
Her status as an expert on the vampire subculture recently got her on FOX News, trying to look all serious and legit and scaring the NORPs of America by saying "ZOMG VAMPIRES TTLY GO TO CHURCH!!!" Any reasonable person knows this is utter bullshit because the only time vampires ever leave their parents basement is they've grown out of it.
Michelle has appeared several times on a ghost hunting TV show called "Paranormal State" [2]. On the show she plays an IRL psychic (OH FUCK, wut ?! Not a vampire or angel or Egyptian priest or nephilim). Paranormal State is a "docu-drama reality television series". More info about Paranormal State can be found here.
sHE's spechule
Pink Spider (looking like an even moar coked-up Britney Spears. That or she smells the bullshit Michelle is full of.) and her carpet-munching lord and master, Michelle. Michelle considers ED a tabloid, even though it rarely mentions anyone of real worth.
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Apparently batteries are too "hi-tech" for her.
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Here she tries to turn a simple computer glitch into proof that she is one of the living dead and FAILS.
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And here she complains about how hard her life was, and gives us the real reason behind her vamprism: teen-angst.
Frienemies
She has had alliances with Don Henrie and Todd Hoyt in the past. Don claimed that she was trying to make him into her puppet, so he pushed her away. She is scorned, but she still hangs onto him, trying to drain out anything she can from his already dead career and non-existent fame.
She was friends with Todd, going so far as to call him her brother. When they broke off their friendship, she not only bad mouthed the sick fuck, she claimed he stole her material (which she stole from various role playing games, creating a black hole of copyright infringement).
She wrote about it in her livejournal, and then proceeded to heavily edit the complaints. This is the post in its unedited entirety:
—TL;DR Michelle A. Belanger |
These "issues" only became a problem when she wasn't involved in Todd's sex life anymore.
Links
Photos
Writing
- LiveJournal
- She writes for
Paranormal InsiderDELETED when she got cast onThe Real World SchizophreniaParanormal State, because appealing to the "paranormal-reality" casting directors was all it was for. - She is a published author on Otherkin.net
She is a published author on The Witches VoiceDELETED. She was too crazy for the witches.
Interviews and Articles
- With BDSM Round Table
- With Beyond Reality Radio
- A few with Coast to Coast AM
- According to Full Moon Radio Michelle claims her abilities are genetic and circumstantial-- an easier to buy stance than her Reincarnated Egyptian Priest theory that she tells her followers.
- With Ghostly Talk
- With Key 64
- With Pagan News
- The Online Rocket (a newspaper for Slippery Rock college) covers a lecture she held
- With Polyamory Weekly. When she's not talking about vampires, she's talking about slutting it up.
See Also
- Don Henrie
- MemoryandDream
- Pink Spider
- Todd Hoyt
- House Kheperu
- Vampire
- Goth
- Otherkin
- Lesbian
- Internet model
Michelle Belanger is part of a series on Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
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