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MySpace Suicide: Difference between revisions
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Revision as of 01:53, 24 April 2012
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On November 29, 2005, another useless, suburbanite teen exercised his God-given right to end his alleged "pain". In a "symbolic" final blog, Josh Ballard (screen name Jloveb and later dubbed the MySpace Suicide Kid) informed his friends and family, who if had actually cared may have caused him to evade suicide, that he had taken his life, thoughtful to add countless misspellings to thereafter increase the hilarity of the situation. Quickly after making local news, some of the YTMND crew picked up on the incident and instantly began spawning "X's MySpace Suicide" sites, securing Josh's status as a piece of internet culture to be enjoyed for many years to come. Furthered by the relentless abuse originating from Josh's "friends" (read "XxX YOU FUXING ASSHOLS STOP THIS RITE NOW, RIP JOSH ~ XxX"), the YTMNDers continued to make use of Josh, long after the novelty wore off and his community forgot about his existence entirely. Even in YTMND's now-dead state, the occasional MySpace Suicide will be created, a true reminiscence of a better e-time.
What really happened
You people make me sick... suicide isn't funny, it's hilarious
Growing up in a self-described "broken home", Josh woke up every morning fearing his shoes might get muddy or he would wind up in some related life-devastating predicament. Despite having food, clothing, a suburban home, and countless video games to null his mind with, Josh's teenage life was without question, broken. The accumulation of being dumped and mocked at school was far worse than his repetition of the 4th grade due to the inability to spell his name (not a joke). After said years of prolonged hardship, Josh snapped and made the ultimatum to end his existence. Requesting his friends do his broken life a "favore", Josh self-doxed quickly before blowing his brains out in his parent's bathroom. Almost immediately, The Borg reared its ugly head.
Immediate and other consequences
A YTMND has spawned on the YTMND site, informing many unsuspecting users who have a sense of humor while maintaining sadistic pleasure and sarcasm (unlike most of the internets) of the suicide. The rumor has spread across the Internets like AIDS in Africa and the emo's MySpace site has reached the peak of its views, pretty much like the olde artists of the old media.
For a week or so, the meme had not yet transcended to old meme status, which amazed the internets for its longevity (or stupidity). Linking to the "EMO SUICIDES LAWLWOLLOLOFLR" YTMNDs was still considered funny. However, the dead emo was forgotten as soon as another attention whore committed suicide and told the internets about that. All your attention are belong to another emo.
And thus, he got pwned. Again.
The emo's MySpace site got hacked and posted a link to some hackers' website. Needless to say, the kid got thoroughly pwned even after his death. A most excellent job indeed. Unfortunately, the screenshots of the hacked website have been lost in the wild jungles of the internets.
About the emo himself
He walked by the internets handle of "you BROKE my LIFE" (capitalization preserved), loved "girls who cry"; was married; was 8 feet, 11 inches tall and made $250,000 a year or more. He was a smartass. He posted self-portraits that featured him at his emo-kid best: shaggy hair, pouting lips, acne scars, intentionally blank expression. He posted an ad for a clothing company called Emo Police that featured a man hanging from the P. His last words were reported to be "I made my mistakes, got nowhere to run, the night goes on as I'm fading away, I'm sick of this life, I just want to scream, 'How could this happen to me?'"
Joshua Ballard (his real name) was also a member of secret United States intelligence agency S.A.F.E when he was alive.
External Links
- Myspacide.ytmnd.com - First of many YTMNDs, generating lulz all over the internets about one dumb shit.
- He got his attention, after all - News article about the suicide and why only people who know that The Internet Is Serious Business care about one stupid angsty teen.
- Original MySpace Page Now in the hands of some cocksucker who has made it totally unlulzworthy
- Some total faggot's gay YouTube tribute
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MySpace Suicide is part of a series on YTMND [PUNCH THE KEYS FOR GOD'S SAKE] |
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MySpace Suicide is part of a series on </3 EMO </3 [Cut] |
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