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Heavenablaze
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Warning! This article contains graphic levels of samefaggotry and ass kissing. |
Heavenablaze (AKA Armando The Ass Pounder) is a Goth LiveJournal troll/internet asshole that somehow gets under people's skin by posting multiple images of really stupid shit that has nothing to do with the topic at hand. Heavenablaze is a faggy Internet tough guy who thinks the internet is SRS BSNS and goes to great lengths to over-exaggerate the many, many, many ways he is cool. He writes his own ED articles, but is universally despised by everyone for being a bitter midget on an ego trip.
Unfortunately Because most of LiveJournal finds his views offensive, Heavenablaze tends to get banned from communities faster than Courtney Love goes through boyfriends a fresh brick of crack cocaine. After crying about how nobody nice wants to play with him, he created his own community where he bans anyone he deems unacceptable, such as the Christian, Emo, Goth, Gay or otherwise. Irony in motion, Heavenablaze is a member of each sect, proving once and for all that he hates himself.
Brief Biography
Some believe the origins of Heavenablaze have been unrooted. He has proven numerous times that he is a con artist and a liar, like when he convinced 90% of Livejournal users that he was dead. People that cared enough to notice belong to communities fake_lj_deaths, ohnotheydidnt, and neo_goths_suck. Like Jesus, Heavenablaze resurrected himself last Thursday and continued to "e-raping" unsuspecting Livejournal users. A troll causing Drama? Unheard of on the internet. Still, 87 people deleted their journal for some reason. In an epic win for winners he over-threw the mod of __comeundone and turned it into a psuedo-cutting community called ratemycuts.
The Entire Internet discovered that in the real world Heavenablaze is actually a schizophrenic drunk with a penchant for teh drugs and fits of mindless destruction, and violent robots roam the earth using humans as batteries. Apparently all the trolling is part of an elaborate sham to appease a drug cartel whom he owes money. Because drug-dealers don't want money, they want cyber-trolls. Another theory is it's self-promotion for an upcoming album. New laptop, more trolling.
A couple of his lame acronyms include several asinine words such as "cyber-AIDS", "e-rape", "pwned", "royally pwned", "el ghey abuse", "heterosexually incapacitated", along with deliberately misplaced and random usage of 1337, 1's, and OMGZ.
Heaven Ablaze
Like many LJ users, he belongs to a band, but in this case, there's no point mentioning them since the worst publicity is no publicity. Although he's actually a decent death metal musician.(as far as crappy Floridian bands go), his constant holier than thou attitude and his troll reputation has only done a disservice to himself and his band. He's a textbook case of someone who needs to really chill out so people can actually take him seriously.
Ex-Partners in crime
Heavenablaze's frequent partners in crime are usually just a bunch of fags who like to kiss his dick and feed his ego in hopes that they will be blessed with buttsex. They are united in their love for shitty music, and their hatred of emos, goths, nu-metal, liberals, straight edge, hot topic, fags, bisexuals, bad typers, and cutters(It is important to remember that, like most fags, they think are normal, and distance themselves from other faggots). As such, they have wasted their lives by taking the internet seriously and alienating about 99% of LJ members.
A rumor was started that Heavenablaze and his long time e-victim freeko were going to make a guest appearance to finally settle their e-feud on UFC 67 coming soon on pay-per-view. No word as of yet if the use of Heavenablaze's image macros and poorly produced mp3s or freeko's dyslexia and incessant whining over being pwned by at least half of the LJ world will be allowed in this epic cyber battle. Heavenablaze, being the conceited turd he is, flaunts about the confirmed fact that Freeko has challenged him (among with several other LJ users) to a fist fight only to back down from "The Metal God" in a mildly popular and lengthy flame war that caught 3 LJ communities in the middle of a long bullshit argument that only lifeless retards such as myself give a shit about. However, after observing how much of a whiny emo pussy Freeko is, that's not really saying a whole hell of a lot.
In closing, this is a man that is incredibly sensitive and should be left to rot alone in his own little corner of the world. However, he is probably happy masturbating feverishly while reading this article, as it caters to his obvious need to be a complete ego whore.
Heavenablaze was recently e-raped by LJ Abuse. Although many trolls want to see the return of this "e-legend"/"troll lord", the chances of that happening are nil, which leaves the rest of the LJ world happy to be rid of him once and for all.
Lulzworthy Moment
Before deciding that the best thing to do would be create sock puppets that licked his asshole, he first tried to have his ED page deleted, leaving a single quote on the page when he did so.
——Heaven Ablaze | ||
Clearly Armando The Ass Pounder has mastered Computer Science III, and will be using his 1337 skills to report you to your local law enforcement agency. Members of ED are warned to take this man seriously, as clearly his skills are far beyond anything ED has ever seen.
Communities Heavenablaze Often Haunted
Ways to troll Heavenablaze
- Tell him how much anything other than heavy metal rules.
- Laugh at how each of his pictures he has that same pissed off look on his face as he curses God for not giving him enough money to record a decently produced album.
- Invite him to Vampire Freaks
- Tell him how much Death Metal sucks.
- Preach to him about any religious dogma. This will instantly set him off into a blind rage.
- When all else fails, compare him to Freeko or Marilyn Manson.